Haruhi's Best Friend
by I'mAtTheSoupStore18
Summary: Tomuru Okiro is the mad best friend to Haruhi Fujioka. With her help to pay off Haruhi's debt to the Host Club the duo face the madness of the Host Club boys. Getting lost in cow fields, chased by her duck arch nemesis and becoming a dog to a bunch of flirty rich boys, Tomuru is surely going to get into a bunch of adventures with these lot. Ya know as long she doesn't get lost.
1. Episode 1 Part 1

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Hey Haruhi, how was your first day at posh school?" I asked eagerly.

"Ugh."

"Wow, that great huh? What happened?"

"I really hate rich people," Haruhi moaned.

"Yes, annnnd?"

"I'm a dog now."

"HOLY CRAP YOU'RE RIGHT! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU HAVE A TAIL AND DOG EARS! YOU LOOK LIKE A DAMN FURRY!"

"Shut up, there's no need for sarcasm Sugar."

"There is always need for sarcasm Dearest."

"Look here's what happened..." Haruhi began.

"Don't scrimp on the details. Tell me everything!" I insisted.

"Well...after my classes I went to find somewhere to study. All the libraries were too noisy, so I went into what I thought was an empty room. However, as I opened the door, I was greeted by six boys. There's a blond dude, a boy wearing glasses, identical ginger twins who are in my class, a small blond boy and a tall stoic dude. The blond guy Tamaki started calling me 'openly gay', the small one called me Haru-Chan and a superhero just for being an honour student and if you don't stop laughing I'm not carrying on with the story."

"Th-this is brilliant! Do they think you're a boy or something?"

"Apparently everyone in school does. Now are you going to let me continue?"

"Proceed."

"Thank you. Anyhow, whilst trying to escape Tamaki asking what 'type of boy' I prefer, I knocked and broke a renaissance vase. They were apparently going auction it off in a school event or something. Long story short, I now have to work as an 'errand boy' to pay for the damage."

"Jeez, what was the starting bid for the vase?"

"Eight. Million. Yen," Haruhi emphasised.

"EIGHT MILLION YEN?!"

"Yeah, it's ridiculous right?"

"BUT YOU JUST PUT WATER AND FLOWERS IN IT!"

"I think that type of vase is just for show, not for actual use Tomo."

"BUT IT'S 8 MILLION YEN HARUHI!"

"Yes Tomuru, that's the amount I have to pay back."

"It's going to take you the rest of your high-school education to pay them back at least if you're just an errand boy."

"It could take shorter if I had some...assistance."

"Who on earth would willingly volunteer to assist... Haruhi!"

"Oh come on Sugar, this is what best friends do! Help me out, pleeease."

"Haruhi, I go to a different school lest we forget."

"I'll talk to the Hosts about it. You can come by after school."

"Hosts? You mean you have to be an errand boy at a Host Club?"

"...Yes."

"Ha! Well, how far is it exactly?"

"Walking distance takes half an hour... give or take."

"Not too bad I suppose. Don't make that puppy face at me dearest. Ask about it first, give me some information on times and stuff, then I'll decide. No promises."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you Tomo?"

"Not enough. Now, about the 'everyone thinking you're a boy' thing. Why haven't you corrected them?"

"A person's gender doesn't matter Sugar. I don't care whether they think I'm a boy or a girl."

"Yes, I share your views on gender, but there are some situations that may require you to tell people your actual gender, or gender you prefer to be called of course. You may have to masquerade as a boy for the rest of high school."

"So?"

"What do you mean so? Which bathroom are you going to use? What are you going to do about your period?"

"I didn't think about that. Eh, I'll figure something out. I don't think there'll be any repercussions to this detail."

"Whatever you say, dude. So other than that, the day was alright?"

"Pretty much, the work was more manageable than I thought. How was your day?"

"Same old, same old. Higashi has more facilities, which is cool. I'll tell you after roly poly time."

"Fine, but I want to hear everything."

"Very well."

Then we forward rolled on my bed listening to Fall Out Boy.

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Hello Doggy!" the twins greeted me, as I entered the club room.

"Why if it isn't my little Honour Student," The 'Host King' said.

"Yeah hi, can I ask you guys something?"

"Later, right now you will go into the kitchen, set up the tea sets for each table and fill up the cake trays," Kyoya stated.

"Right," I muttered heading to the kitchen.

"Oh, and afterwards can you go and get these items on this grocery list? Kyoya will provide the money for shopping," Tamaki added, poking his head into the kitchen.

"...Sure."

**At the supermarket...**

"Coffee beans? Well, I suppose Hescafe will do. If they don't like it, tough luck."

"YO!" Tomo bashed into me.

"Help me," I whined.

"What did they make you do as an errand boy?" she asked in a bemused tone.

"Can't you tell? I'm doing they're food shopping for them," I replied gesturing to the trolley.

"I thought they would have their stuff delivered."

"You'd think, right?" I agreed.

"So you have to return there I take it?" Tomuru guessed.

"Yeah...come with me," I pleaded.

"Have you asked about-?"

"No, haven't had the time. Please come, you can see for yourself," I interrupted.

"Alright, fine," she sighed.

"Thanks, Sugar! What are you in here for anyway?"

"Oh, the fudging circus!" Tomuru exclaimed, gesturing around her.

"To buy, sassy."

"I thought you knew me better. I needed cookies. There's a sale on for them, buy one get one free. Wanna pack?"

"Sure, at least, there'll be something good about today," I shrugged.

**In the Ouran Academy courtyard...**

"Well, welcome to Ouran Academy," I said, gesturing to the large pastel pink building that is my school.

"Tis pink," she commented.

"Yeah, tis pink," I agreed.

"Nice touch with the clock tower," she added.

"Come on, best not keep them waiting," I sighed.

"Are outsiders even allowed inside school grounds? I could be a spy. And I wouldn't want to get my Dearest in trouble," she asked playfully, with underline concern.

"The Principle gave me special permission to have old friends in the building. Sort of a make me feel welcome kinda thing. I've got a note and everything," I assured.

"Alright, let's see this Host club of yours. Lead the way Dearest."

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"How many stairs does one school need?!" I gasped starting the ascent on another set of stairs.

"This is the last staircase, I promise. The club is just at the end of this hallway," Haruhi promised.

"Music Room 3?" I questioned, as I stared at the door Haruhi led me to.

"Yeah, abandoned music room," Haruhi supplied.

"Got it."

Haruhi opened the door and went in. I followed close behind.

"Ah, speak of the devil. Thanks for the doing the shopping little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" a blond dude greeted.

"Piglet? What's next. Kitten, puppy?" I muttered to Haruhi.

"Who is this lovely creature? A friend of yours, Haruhi?" he continued.

"TOMURU, NICE TO MEET YA! I'M HARUHI'S BEEEST FWIEND!" I exclaimed in a squeaky voice.

"Haruhi, why are you laughing?" I asked continuing the voice, whilst Haruhi was in fits of crying laughter as the posh people were staring dumbstruck.

"Stop lafin, you know it's a speek impediment. You're stho mwean!" I moaned.

"P-pack it in will ya. You are so embarrassing," Haruhi laughed clutching her stomach.

I looked around the surprised faces before laughing along with Haruhi, both of us leaning on each other for support.

"Dude, I have to make a good impression here and you're not helping," Haruhi scorned lightly.

"Oh come on! I warned you that voice would return," I reminded.

"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to do it here and now!"

"Alright, do you want me to introduce myself as a normal human being Dearest?" I offered.

"If you can manage it."

"Fine. Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tomuru Okiro and I'm Haruhi's best friend," I introduced formally, bowing politely in the process.

"How's that?" I asked Haruhi.

"I've never been prouder," Haruhi replied sarcastically, wiping a fake tear.

"Now if he is not too busy, I would like to speak with the leader of the Host club."

"That would be I! I am Tamaki Suoh, King of the Ouran Host Club," the blond announced dramatically.

"Thought as much, could my little piglet and I discuss his...predicament?" I requested.

"Tamaki has guests to tend to at this moment. You can bring Haruhi's matter with me. I am the Vice President Kyoya Ootori," a boy with glasses interjected.

"Very well, if you're not too busy."

"Not at all, step this way."

"OK, Haruhi what do you want me to do with this shopping bag?"

"Just give it me, I'll put the groceries away."

"Have a seat," Kyoya offered.

"Thanks, Ootori Senpai," I thanked politely, sitting at a table opposite him.

"I'm not sure if Haruhi has told you about the outside guest rule in this-" Kyoya started.

"Oh don't worry, he has special permission from the Principle. He has a note and everything," I assured quickly.

"Very well, I'll take your word for it. Please proceed."

"Well, this is mainly Haruhi's idea. He practically begged me but is there any way I can assist the errand boy with his duties to pay back his debt?" I inquired.

"I see no problem with that. As long as you can get here at a reasonable time. That can be arranged, of course," he agreed.

"Great, but I have one condition. No maid cosplay," I stated firmly.

"Agreed."

"I finish school at three, just so you know, so is there any way I can contact the Host Club to tell you if I'm running late? Haruhi doesn't have a mobile, you see."

"I can give you my mobile number as a Host club contact," he offered, writing something in his black notebook, tearing it out and handing it to me.

"OK, that's one thing to tick off. Shall we discuss this further when the guests have left?" I suggested.

"I think that would be best. Why don't you have a look around? Take in what it is we do here at the club."

"Sure, so long as there's no charge."

"Not at all."

"Just checking."

And with that being said, Kyoya left me to look around the club room.

"Let the tasting begin," I heard Tamaki declare.

"Hey Dearest, what's going on here?" I asked curiously, standing beside her.

"They're trying instant coffee," she sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Really? The blond guy makes it sound like they're drinking water from the Fountain of youth."

"So what did Kyoya Senpai say?" Haruhi changed the subject.

"Well, we're going to discuss it further but I'm pretty much gonna be an errand girl," I supplied.

"Yes we can face this madness together," she cheered in relief.

"Dearest we're usually the ones causing it," I joked.

"Especially when we get your family involved Sugar," she laughed.

"Excuse me, Okiro San?" one of the girls, from a nearby sofa, spoke up.

"Please, you can just call me Tomuru or Tomo," I insisted.

"Well Tomuru, are you Haruhi's girlfriend?" she asked eagerly.

"...Beg ya pardon?" I asked, dumbstruck at what I just heard.

"Are you and Haruhi an item?" one of her friends rephrased.

"Eh no, just platonic best friends ladies," I clarified, looking to Haruhi to back me up.

Only to find her across the room, being lectured by Tamaki on being a gentleman.

"Has the Honour Student always been so scruffy?" one guest asked innocently though I thought it sounded a bit insensitive.

"No, he's a beautiful boy, really. I suppose the glasses do hide his eyes," I insisted.

"It's an epidemic," a red haired girl muttered bitterly as she walked past me.

"Sorry Madam?" I questioned, making sure I heard right.

"Commoner scum infiltrating our nice school," she spoke, as she frowned in Haruhi's direction.

"Listen, darling. I don't give a damn what you think of me. I'm here to support my friend. And if I hear you speaking crap about said, friend, I will be less than civil," I replied, showing I wasn't intimidated by that bitch.

I then went in search of Haruhi, who I couldn't find anywhere for some reason.

"Where's Haruhi?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Haru-Chan's changing clothes," little dude replied, digging into some cake.

"Oh...Whhyyy?" I asked in confusion.

"Bosses orders. We've given your friend a bit of a makeover," One of the twins answered.

"OK, can I go see him?"

"He should be done changing soon," Tamaki said,

When the guests left we went to see if Haruhi was done changing. I followed the Hosts to, I assume, the changing rooms.

"Uh, Senpai?" I heard Haruhi say behind a curtain.

"Aren't you done changing yet?" Tamaki questioned impatiently.

"You sure it's OK for me to keep this uniform?" Haruhi asked opening the curtain.

Haruhi was now wearing the male school uniform and contact lenses instead of her glasses. Her hairstyle was also altered so her hair didn't cover her eyes.

"Cute! You're as pretty as a girl. Adorable!" Tamaki gushed in delight.

"Haru-Chan you look so cute!" the little dude complimented.

"If we had known that's how you really looked-" One twin started.

"-we would've helped you out sooner," the other twin finished.

"Who knows he might even bring in a few customers," Kyoya spoke up.

"You know that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. I will personally train you to be a first rate, host. If you can get 100 guests to request you we can forget all about your eight million yen debt," Tamaki proclaimed.

"A HOST?!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"It's not funny Sugar!" Haruhi moaned, whilst I was trying to contain my laughter.

"Tis, Tis, Tis," I sang.

"How so?" Tamaki asked in confusion.

"Uh, my Dearest has never really been a 'Casanova'. He has very little experience in 'wooing' the ladies," I lied quickly, although it wasn't lying per say.

"He wooed you," the twins contradicted.

"I didn't woo Tomo!" Haruhi protested.

"What so Tomuru wooed you then?" one twin guessed.

"No one wooed anybody. Platonic best friends got it?" I corrected.

"Shall we go through your role in the Host club Tomuru?" Kyoya changed the subject.

"Good idea," I agreed.

"There's going to be another commoner working in the Host Club?" Tamaki asked excitedly.

"If your majesty will allow me. Haruhi begged me to help him out. Speaking of which... 8 MILLION YEN for a freaking vase are you guys serious?!"

"A priceless renaissance vase," Tamaki interjected.

"It's not priceless it's 8 million yen. That's a price, my friend," I argued.

"So you're going to be the new dog since Haruhi's training to be a Host?" one twin presumed.

"Yep, I'm the new bitch," I declared.

"SHE SWORE!" Tamaki shrieked.

"Actually the word 'bitch' is another term for a female dog," Kyoya supplied.

"...Oh," Tamaki ohed dumbly.

"I made my formal greeting earlier may I be rash to ask you lots?" I requested.

"Well as you know I am Tamaki Suoh, the princely type, there's Kyoya Ootori, the cool type, the twins Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, the little devil type, Mitskuni Honinosuka aka Honey, the Boy Lolita and Takashi Morinosuka aka Mori, the stoic type," Tamaki introduced.

"Great, so what am I gonna be doing as the role of 'dog' anyway?"

"Just errands around the club. Making tea, food shopping, handing out cakes and snacks to the guests, stock checks that sort of thing," Kyoya answered.

"Simple enough. When do I start?"

"You shall start tomorrow. Host club hours begin at 3:30," Tamaki said.

"My classes finish at 3 pm but I'll try to make it by then. Dearest how long does it take for you to get here in the morning?"

"Usually half an hour walking but, that's by taking a few shortcuts. Wait a minute, I've told you this yesterday," Haruhi replied.

"Oh yeah. It takes 10 minutes to get home from school. Okay, show me the route you take later Dearest. When does the club finish for the Hosts?"

"5 pm," Kyoya answered.

"Alright I think I have all the information I need," I said surely.

"It's five o'clock now so... see you guys tomorrow. C'mon Sugar I'll show you the route." Haruhi offered grabbing her school things, linking arms with me and heading towards the door.

"Get ready to Host tomorrow," Tamaki called after us as we left.

* * *

**Sooo, first thoughts? This is my first OHSHC I've published so far**

**Tomuru: HIYA!**

**Me: Ow why did you just karate chop my neck? **

**Tomuru: "****_shrugs," _****thought it'd be a new way to greet people.**

**Me: What by injuring them?**

**Tomuru: Well why else do people say 'Hiya' as a greeting?**

**Me: Because it's slang for 'Hello' you dipstick!**

**Tomuru: Oooooh, Nah I like my version better. HIYA dearest!**

**Haruhi: OW what the hell Tomo?**


	2. Episode 1 Part 2

**Next Chapter for you lovelies**

**Tomuru: Raaawwwrrr **

**Me: What are you doing now?**

**Tomuru: Duh! Imma Dinosaur, now shush dinosaurs don't speak!**

_**(Gnaws on my head as I'm typing)**_

**Me: Okay uh Enjoy!**

* * *

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Haruhi when is Tomuru getting here? It's almost opening time," Tamaki asked impatiently.

"I don't know. Depends on whether she's lost or not," I replied nonchalantly.

At that moment, Kyoya's phone began to ring.

"Hello? No Haruhi's not busy at the moment. Alright, I'll pass you over. Haruhi it's Tomuru," Kyoya said handing his phone over to me.

"Hey Sugar, are you lost?" I greeted.

"Yeah, no ship Sherlock! I have no clue where I am," Tomuru snapped.

"Are there any street signs around you?"

"No, I'm in...I'm in a fricken cow field okay!"

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed cackling.

"Stop laughing. Look I'll retrace my steps to a place I recognise."

"OK, you do that."

"Haruhi the cows are looking at me funny. I think they know I had a cheeseburger last night," she whispered urgently.

"Well don't say it out loud or the cows will hear you! Just walk back, don't run or they'll stampede," I advised,

"Right... nice heifers, pretty heifers," she spoke nervously.

"She's in a cow field," I clarified to the Hosts.

"Why?" the twins asked.

"To bring some milk. She's lost, Tomo's kinda rubbish with direction," I supplied.

"Where are you know?" I asked her.

"I managed to make it into town. Have no idea how, but can you meet me here pleeease?" Tomo pleaded.

"Fine, where exactly are you?" I sighed.

"By the duck fountain. The one with Bernard's gang. They're looking at me Haruhi. Bernard is sending me some bitchy glares."

"I'm coming just stay there."

"Love you Dearest!" she said appreciatively.

"Yeah, yeah."

I hung up and handed Kyoya his phone back.

"Guys Tomo needs saving so I have to meet her otherwise she'll just get stuck in another cow field," I told the Hosts.

"But you'll miss greeting the guests," Tamaki protested.

"I'll be as quick as possible I promise."

"Well, best get a move on then," Kyoya sighed.

I ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"Sugar, you moron," I muttered to myself.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Damn my sense of direction," I scorned myself quietly, sitting on the bench furthest away from the duck fountain.

My phone rang and it was Kyoya.

"Is he coming?" I asked hopefully.

"He's coming. By the way a cow field?" he replied, I could tell he was amused by my sense of direction.

"I know, my direction is terrible. SHUT UP BERNARD!" I suddenly shouted, luckily there was no one there to hear my outburst.

"What?" Kyoya asked on the other end.

"Nothing, just my arch enemy that won't stop quacking."

"Your arch enemy is a duck?"

"Yes."

"...Well, the guests are arriving now so you two better get back here soon."

"I'll get your newest Host back as fast as Flash!"

"Good."

Then he hung up on me.

"Rude," I muttered.

Then I saw Haruhi in the distance, heavily out of breath. I went up to meet her.

"Haruhi, my saviour!" I exclaimed hugging her tightly.

"Back...Club...Now!" she gasped trying to catch her breath,

"I'll give you a piggyback Dearest," I offered, letting her go on my back.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I asked sweetly.

"Not enough, I ran all the way here and I'm not happy," Haruhi grumbled.

"I'm sorry dear, I'll try and not get lost tomorrow OK?"

"Fat chance of that happening! Take a right turn here."

**Minutes later...**

"OK this seems familiar now," I said.

"What the massive pick building aka Ouran Academy?"

"Yes now C'mon we're already late," I urged.

"Thanks to you!" she accused.

"You know me well enough to know this was inevitable," I pointed out.

"True," she sighed, getting off my back.

"We're here sorry about being tardy," I greeted once we were at the club.

"You're here now at least. Haruhi your first guests are waiting at table 3," Kyoya informed.

"Break a leg Dearest," I said cheerfully pushing her towards the table.

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do," she whimpered.

"Relax just be yourself...but not too much," I advised vaguely.

"Gee thanks," Haruhi remarked dryly.

"So what is my first task Senpai sir?" I asked Kyoya, saluting like a soldier.

"First you will serve tea and cakes to the guests and Hosts at each table, follow me," Kyoya instructed.

I followed him to the kitchen. There he showed me how to set up the tea sets, where everything was, gave me a list of cakes the guests prefer and how they like their teas or coffees made.

"All clear?"

"Yep," I confirmed.

I went to each table and offered beverages to the guests. They were all quite friendly and curious about my 'commoner' background. Once I was serving at Haruhi's table, I got to see how she was getting on.

"So is it alright if tomorrow we can request you to sit with us again?" A guest asked Haruhi dreamily.

"Yeah I'd really appreciate that ladies," Haruhi replied cheerfully.

"Anything from the trolley ladies...and gentleman?" I asked winking at Haruhi.

"So did Tomuru help you through that difficult part of your life?" One guest questioned curiously.

"Yeah, she's been my best friend since I could remember," Haruhi answered.

"Wait, what?"

"Haruhi's mother passing away," another guest supplied.

"Oh, of course, I was there for him. I slept over at his house for weeks for support," I said.

"Aw, that's so sweet. It must be weird for you two to go to different schools huh?" a guest guessed.

"Definitely, we've always been joint at the hip for years. But if it makes my Dearest happy," I agreed.

"You're such a good friend!" a guest approved.

"Thanks, well I have to serve the other guests. Lovely chatting with you," I dismissed myself politely.

"Could we chat more some other time. We'd love to hear what Haruhi was like in Middle school," the guests said eagerly.

"Sure thing, I certainly have a few stories up my sleeve for you there," I replied, giving another wink towards Haruhi.

Once I finished serving the guests, I went to find Kyoya.

"What's next?" I asked him.

"Could you run a stock check to make sure the costumes are ready for next week?" he said handing me a clipboard.

"Costumes?"

"Yes the Hosts cosplay from time to time to ensure the guests are entertained," he explained.

"Well, that explains why there are changing rooms in a music room," I thought aloud.

Kyoya led me to the wardrobes beside the changing rooms. I ticked off the correct cosplay for each Host to wear. As I did so I heard the noise outside.

"Mori-Senpai, help me!" I heard Haruhi plead, then...

"Mori-Senpai you really didn't have to go that far. Come on little one let daddy give you a big hug," I heard Tamaki say.

"Daddy?" I thought.

"Everything okay in-" Kyoya started coming in.

I shushed him and listened further.

"I've already gotta dad I don't need another," Haruhi said bluntly.

"Okay, sorry Ootori Senpai. I've checked the costumes. Double checked."

"Good then you can run a small errand for me," Kyoya replied, gesturing me to follow.

"I need you to return a few books to the library for me. The nearest one is just down the hall," Kyoya requested.

"Nearest one? How many libraries does this school have?"

"Four," he answered, handing me his library card and books.

"Won't be long then," I chirped, heading down the hall.

"Don't get stuck in a cow field," the twins called out as I left.

"I'll try," I called back.

"This library's huge," I thought to myself.

It was filled with students, which were mostly chatting rather than reading. I slowly weaved my way to the return desk.

"Well Mr Ootori you look different," the librarian quipped as I handed him Kyoya's library card.

"Yes, the operation was a complete success," I replied cheekily, then I left the library.

Just as I entered the hallway I bumped into a running Haruhi.

"What's the rush I'm not lost?" I joked.

"Someone threw my bag in the pond. Help me retrieve it," she said quickly.

"Fiend!" I gasped.

I ran alongside Haruhi, only to stop in our tracks by the red haired snooty girl from earlier.

"Oh, it's you again? I bet you looove Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless, though. you'll always be a second-class citizen," she sneered then continued walking.

"BANSHEE!" I shouted at her, before grabbing Haruhi and running away cackling at the red head's shock expression.

"Sugar you could have made the situation worse ya know," Haruhi pointed out lightly, both of us knee deep in water fishing for bag supplies.

"She had it coming. How dare she say such a thing to my Haruhi! I bet she threw your bag in the pond too," I accused.

"Yeah I agree. Guess there are bullies everywhere," Haruhi noted.

"Oh by the way..._there'll be no repercussions to this detail,_" I mimicked.

"Shut up!" she snapped splashing me with water.

"Hey, commoner you've got some nerve skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet?" Tamaki said, appearing out of nowhere.

"It's no big deal we've got it. Haruhi can't find his food money, though," I answered not looking up.

Tamaki then got in and searched along with us.

"Hey, you don't have to do that you'll get wet," Haruhi protested.

"A little water never hurt anyone. Besides people keep telling me that I'm dripping with good looks," Tamaki replied, smiling a little.

"How can you drip with good looks?" I pondered to myself.

"Hang on a second...is this what you're looking for?" Tamaki said. holding Haruhi's wallet, whilst Haruhi had a distant look on her face.

"What's wrong you're staring off into space. You're not falling for him are you?" I teased, smiling at her distant expression.

"No way!" she snapped, snatching her wallet back from Tamaki.

"How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?" Tamaki wondered.

"Uh...well I guess I dropped it out of the window at some point," Haruhi lied.

**INNER MONOLOGUE**

_"Haruhi that was the crappiest lie I've ever heard,"__ I scoffed._

_"Just keep it between us. We haven't got enough proof that girl did it and we can't afford to start accusing guests!"_

_"Whatever."_

**BACK AT THE CLUB ROOM**

I returned Kyoya's library card to him.

"Good, now you are relieved of your services until the guests leave. Then you need to clean up after them and wash any used dishes and silverware clear?"

"Transparently! By the way, the male librarian thinks you've had a sex change," I rushed.

"What?"

"Nothing," I sang walking away from him quickly.

"Tomo!" the twins exclaimed dragging me to their table.

"Hello, love to chat but I need to rescue Haruhi from redhead over there," I said cheerfully, noticing that demon requested her.

"Why he's doing his job as Host?" One twin questioned.

"Besides we want to ask you a few questions," the other insisted.

I explained to them why I didn't like her.

"Oh so you think she threw Haruhi's bag in the pond?" a twin summed up.

"Who else would it be? She's just envious of Haruhi because Tamaki is giving him attention," I confirmed.

"That's quite an accusation Tomuru. Especially towards a paying customer," Kyoya said listening in on the conversation.

"Yeah well that girl is bad news trust me."

"AAAH NO HARUHI LEAVE ME ALONE! SOMEBODY HELP ME HE JUST ATTACKED ME! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TEACH THIS COMMONER A LESSON!"

Well, speak of the devil.

She and Haruhi were on the floor, Haruhi herself was on top of her looking shocked. The table they sat at was toppled sideways. The twins chucked water on the pair of them, reasons unknown. I went to help Haruhi up.

"Why did you do that?" the girl asked unsurely before Tamaki helped her up.

"Do something Tamaki, Haruhi just assaulted me," she whimpered like a damsel in distress.

"Yeah, because he's the type of dude to randomly jump on girls in a crowded room!" I remarked sarcastically.

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw Haruhi's bag into the pond didn't you?" Tamaki accused seriously.

"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?" she replied in slight hysterics.

"You know you are a beautiful girl. But you're not classy enough to be our guest dear. If there's one thing I know Haruhi is not that kind of a man," Tamaki continued.

"But why Tamaki...YOU IDIOT!" she shouted running out of the room.

"Good riddance," I mumbled.

"Hmm, now how am I going to punish you because it is your fault after all. Your quota is now 1000!" Tamaki declared.

"One thousand," Haruhi whimpered, sinking back down to the floor again.

"What do you mean it's his fault?" I protested.

"Dude, just forget about it," Haruhi sighed.

"Come on, I have high expectations of you, my little rookie," Tamaki said cheerfully, helping Haruhi up on her feet.

"This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one right?" Kyoya interjected giving Haruhi a bag.

"Thanks a lot you guys I better go change," She thanked heading to the changing rooms.

"Well, that was a load of drama. I better clean up this mess," I commented lightly heading to the kitchen to find some cleaning supplies.

Once I cleaned up that mess I heard Tamaki shriek from the direction of the changing rooms. When I arrived at the changing rooms I found all the Hosts congregated around Haruhi, who was wearing the horrid female uniform. Tamaki's face was bright red which I assumed meant that he knew that Haruhi was a girl.

"Uh oh Dearest, do they know your little secret?" I gasped in amusement.

"Well isn't this an interesting development," Kyoya said smirking.

"Oooh yeah," the twins agreed.

"...You all knew apart from Tamaki didn't you?" I sussed, to which the hosts nodded their heads.

"Uh, I have to say Senpai, I thought you were pretty cool earlier," Haruhi complimented cheerfully, making Tamaki go even redder.

"Correct me if I'm wrong. but I think we are witnessing the beginnings of love here," I predicted to Kyoya smirking at the way Tamaki is looking at Haruhi.

"My sentiments exactly," Kyoya agreed sharing the smirk I had.

"Being a Host and being fussed over by a bunch of girls may not be that bad. I wonder how I can pull it off... I know I can call everyone dude and bro now," Haruhi joked.

"You already say dude Dearest. But if you start saying 'bro' or 'swag' I will disown you," I warned.

"By the way, you seem uncomfortable Tamaki-Senpai," I added.

"I-I don't know if I can handle this," Tamaki whimpered.

"Sure you can, you're the King remember," I assured vaguely.

"I don't really care if you guys see me as a boy or a girl. But I do think I can repay my debt quicker if I'm a Host," Haruhi said logically.

"As long as you're a member of the Host Club we'll keep your secret no matter what!" Tamaki declared, perking up suddenly.

"Right now we've got that sorted. I better start with the dishes."

"You may leave once they've been put away," Kyoya informed.

"I'll help you out Sugar," Haruhi offered.

"Thank you Dearest," I said gratefully.

"Wait, I have questions about you guys," one twin whined, who I'll now refer to as Tweedledum.

"It can wait till tomorrow. I think as first days go, this has been a long one," I brushed off.

"Couldn't agree more," Haruhi nodded.

* * *

**Me: OK seriously you're getting drool in my eye pack it in!**

**Tomuru: Never (****_continues gnawing until she coughs and gags)_**

**Me: That'd probably be my hair.**

_**(Tomuru spits out hairball)**_

**Me:...Disgusting**

**Tomuru: I'm gonna show dearest. (****_Runs off to find Haruhi)_**

**Me: Poor, poor Haruhi (Shakes my head)**

**Haruhi from other room: WHAT THE HELL! WHY WOULD YOU...THAT'S SO GROSS!**


	3. Episode 1 Part 3

**Me: Thanks for all of you lovelies following this story!**

**Tomuru: Wait there are people following us? (****_she looks around herself in a panic)_**

**Me: Tomuru '****_sigh'_**** no not like that you moron**

**Tomuru: Shh they could have bugged the walls. I'm onto you Stalkers!**

**Me: Shut up, anyhow this chapter just gives you a bit more information about Tomuru.**

**DISCLAIMER: I haven't put one on yet but I do not own OHSHC or it's brilliant characters.**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narration**

The past few days have gone by quite quickly in my opinion and yes I have gotten lost. However, I only needed Haruhi's rescue on one of those occasions. For that week, I got interrogated by the Hosts and guests almost constantly (Especially Tweedledum and Tweedledee).

_THURSDAY AKA Day 2 of Errand Girl_

"How did you get Kyoya's number?" Haruhi asked as I served tea to her guests.

"He gave it to me as a contact number to inform the club when I can't make it or if I'm late," I answered simply.

"By the way, you said you won't be late today you cheese chipmunk!"

"I know, I know, I need to get used to the route."

"Hey Tomo we want to ask you things," the Tweeds said dragging me to their sofa, where their guests sat.

"Well, I did say you could fire away!"

"What's the deal between you and Haruhi?" Tweedledum asked.

"Platonic best friends I've told you guys this."

"Yeah so what's the deal with whole 'Sugar' 'Dearest' business?" Tweedledee argued.

"It started when we were 12. One of our friends joked that we were as close as a leessaaa...couple. So as a joke we started calling each other names. Haruhi picked Sugar and I picked Dearest. They sort of stuck to this day," I explained, almost giving away Haruhi's secret to the twin's guests.

"Aw that's so cute!" a few guests cooed, obviously none the wiser.

"Well, that's one mystery solved. Why does Haruhi act so differently around you? In class, he acts so dull and always concentrates on work and grown up. With you, he's more..."

"Easy going, down to earth, weird, and fun?" I listed.

"Exactly!"

Tamaki was listening intently now.

"Don't take it personally fellows. Believe me, I act differently without Haruhi around too. I'm a quiet, head in the clouds, socially awkward nerd. Haruhi and I sort of just channeling our weirdness we conceal at school," I tried to put into words.

When I got a load of blank stares I tried to put it simpler

"Alright, basically Haruhi and I have been close friends since we were three and have always acted weird towards one another and no one else."

"Oh, so you two are just really close friends?" Tamaki summed up.

"Yes."

"Next question! Why did Haruhi want to come to Ouran Academy in the first place?" Tamaki asked.

"Oh because he wants to be a lawyer when he's older."

"What's your career path Tomo?" Tweedledee questioned.

"I... don't know really. It would be cool to be an author like my mum; I mean Literature is my strong point. I don't really like the fame that goes with it, though."

"Your mother's an author? Has she written anything we would've heard of?" Tweeds questioned curiously.

"Aziza Okiro, author of the Tomboy series," Kyoya interjected.

"That's right she's writing the third book of the series as we speak," I confirmed.

"I'm actually a fan of your mother's work," Kyoya informed.

"Really? I'm surprised you have the time to read," I said surprised.

"What is it about?" Tamaki asked curiously.

"Their fiction books that are based on current issues, mainly feminism and equality," Kyoya began explaining.

"The story itself is about a girl forced to attend an all-boys school. There she gets treated as a lesser..." I continued.

"Excuse me may we have a refill on tea over here?" One guest called from table 5.

"Right away princess," I replied.

"Gotta serve but I recommend you read the books. They're brilliant, I'm her biggest fan."

"No, I'm her biggest fan!" Haruhi called over to us.

"HA, you wish!"

I tended to Honey and Mori's guests, chatting to them as I poured tea.

"Do you like sweets, Tomo Chan?" Honey asked, stuffing another forkful of cake into his mouth.

"I love sweets Honey Senpai. Chocolate buttons are my particular favourite though I can't say no to cake."

"I love all sweets! Usa Chan does too."

"Who?"

Honey held up a pink bunny plushie in front of me.

"Oh, I'm sorry we haven't been formally introduced. Hello, Usa Chan, my name is Tomuru Okiro, it's a pleasure to meet you," I greeted to the bunny holding my hand out.

Honey looked ecstatic holding out Usa Chan's paw for me to shake formally, giggling childishly.

"Usa Chan says it is a pleasure to meet you too and wants you to have some cake with us," Honey spoke for Usa Chan.

"Maybe when I've finished my errand girl duties."

Once I tended to all the errands Kyoya wanted of me I returned to Honey's table as the guests were leaving.

"Yay, cake-time! Which cake do you want Tomo Chan?"

"Any will do, so long as there's no sushi in it. Do you have any red velvet cake I've wanted to try that for ages?"

"We have red velvet cake. Don't you like sushi?"

"Not really, I'm allergic to raw fish. It gives me the same reaction if I ate raw chicken, nasty business," I informed.

"Ooh."

I ate my slice of cake contently answering more questions from both Honey and the Tweeds, who joined us.

"How many brothers or sisters do you have?" Hikaru asked (I assume).

"One little brother Rossi who's 12, an older brother Marcel who's 19 and an older sister Yuliana who's 21," I answered.

"Are they as mad as you?" Kaoru said (again just basing it on the different voices).

"My family is a bit bonkers. My mother believes in a few myths and legends, to which she passed onto me and Rossi. My sister has a huge temper and my brother I suppose is quite normal really. Aside from the puppet, I guess," I laughed.

"What about your father?" Tamaki piped in.

"My dad is out of the picture. Left when Rossi was two," I waved off.

"Sorry about that Tomo Chan."

"Eh, it's no big deal. After my dad left mum went back into writing and created the Tomboy series, he was just weighing us down," I shrugged.

"Who was weighing you down?" Haruhi questioned, now just joining the conversation.

"My dad."

"Oh, yeah he was a prickly pear."

"Definite prickly pear," I agreed.

"Don't worry I shall be your new daddy!" Tamaki declared.

"Yeah OK."

"Really?" he squealed in delight.

"Sure what's the harm," I shrugged.

Then he gave me a massive hug...and didn't let go.

"By the way, I cleaned up the tables for ya. You just need to wash up Sugar," Haruhi added.

"Thanks, Dearest, right new dad I've got plates, teacups and forks to wash," I said trying to squirm out of the hug.

"Aww but my little Tommi is so cute!" Tamaki squeezed me tighter and spun me around.

**INNER MONOLOGUE**

_"Hey Sugar"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What's the harm?" she mimicked._

_"Shut your cake-hole"_

**BACK TO THE OUTER WORLD**

"Tamaki let her go she has a job to do," Kyoya stated sternly.

Tamaki let go reluctantly and I went to wash the dishes.

"Finished," I sighed after what seemed like a hill of dirty dishes to clean.

"Right?" I verified to Kyoya.

"Yes, you are done for today."

"Good...what time is it?"

"4:45 pm," Haruhi informed.

"What's your favourite colour?" Tweedledee asked.

"Don't have one, I like lots of colours."

"Haruhi same question," Tweedledum said.

"Red...why?" she answered sceptically.

"Just curious. Favourite animal," the twins said simply.

"My dog Boris!" "Tomo's dog Boris!" both me and Haruhi said at the same time.

"Specific. So you have a dog I presume," Kyoya presumed, writing in his black notebook.

"Yep, he's a big, wrinkly, cream Shar-Pei two years old and is a big goofball. Come along Dearest it is five o'clock."

"Aww," the light-haired Hosts moaned.

"Right away Sugar."

_Friday aka day 3 of errand girl duties_

"Is it your school uniform Tomuru?" a guest asked.

"Yeah I go straight from my school to Ouran Academy, if I cannot get lost."

"Which school do you attend?"

"Higashi High...it's a public high school."

"Oh there's a commoner high school near us," another guest added.

"If I knew I'd be an errand girl at the Host Club I would've gone to Ouran public high school," I sighed, thinking of how easy my life would be if I did.

"Doggy you're needed," Hikaru called.

"Here girl!" Kaoru called, both of the twins laughing.

"Sorry ladies I'm needed."

"Can we chat another time?"

"Of course, I enjoy chatting with you ladies. I know Haruhi does too," I said warmly, causing them to squeal and swoon.

I went to the twin's table just as they were doing they're 'brotherly love' act. I wolf-whistled them.

"Did you just wolf-whistle us?"

"Yes get a room you two."

"We've got one filled with ladies who enjoy our brotherly love," Hikaru said.

"It's icky, though. What do you want me for?"

"Refill on tea," Hikaru said, holding his teacup at me.

"The teapot is right there," I pointed.

"So?" the twins chimed, smirking.

"So can't you pour your tea yourself?"

"Nooo!"

"...Fine," I sighed.

"Good girl!" the twins cooed patting my head.

I poured tea for their guests as well.

"Are you close with your siblings?" a blonde guest asked.

"Not as close as these two, I don't think that's possible, but yeah we're pretty close, I'm especially close with my little brother Rossi," I replied.

Just then my phone rang, to which I answered.

"Hey, Yuli what's up?"

"ROSSI IS IN DETENTION! HE GOT IN A FIGHT WITH THREE BOYS WHO GANGED UP ON HIM!" Yuli screeched on the other line.

"Did he win?" I asked calmly.

"YEAH! He beat the living daylights out of them, despite one being 15. I assumed it was because they swore, you know what Rossi is like with swearing. Rossi is the only one getting punished, even though he also got injured in this ordeal," she babbled.

"WHAT THAT'S RIDICULOUS!" I shouted, silencing the room.

"Ya think? I bet it's because Rossi's 'different'."

"Hold on I'm being rude I'm going outside."

"Kay."

"Family trouble," I put quickly, heading out of the room.

"Continue, does mum know?"

"It was her mobile they called to inform us of the incident. Mum was not happy, you know how she gets into her writing flow. Guess what else they said. The Dean said that Rossi has to wear the male uniform so as not to 'distract other students' from learning," she spat.

"Rossi is, though! He's wearing the blazer and white shirt, students have the option of wearing either trousers, shorts or skirts," I exclaimed.

"I think that refers to the girls at that school T," Yuliana seethed.

"If girls can wear trousers, a boy should be able to wear skirts. ARGH!"

"Want me to lawyer some sense into them," Haruhi offered, listening in on the conversation.

"Already got it covered H. Mum's going to that school to speak with the Principle and if need be the Chairman," Yuli assured.

"No way mum's going out? She's always in that study of hers," I laughed, knowing if mum's on the case then God help them.

"Marcel and I are joining her," she added.

"This is pretty serious huh?" Haruhi muttered.

"Damn right it is! I'm going too," I insisted.

"School remember," Yuli pointed out.

"This is way more important than..." I started to argue.

"NO! Rossi would feel too guilty if he found out you were skipping classes for this," Yuliana objected firmly.

"Okay fine! One of you three should punch someone for me then," I grumbled.

"It'll get sorted Tomo," Haruhi assured, holding my free hand.

"You bet! Look you better get back to your errand girl duties. You'll be home soon so we'll talk more then," Yuli sighed.

"Yeah, yeah seeya Yuli," I muttered.

We returned to the Host club and everyone looked in our direction, before hastily going about their chatting, flirting or tea slurping.

"What was that about?" Hikaru asked curiously.

"Like I said family business," I replied a little coldly.

"But I'm your Daddy, I should know," Tamaki interjected.

"Leave it Senpai," Haruhi snapped, which made Tamaki go into his dark aura.

Once the guests were gone I tended to my usual errands in quiet thought.

"Your errands finished?" Kyoya asked, once I finished, to which I nodded my head.

"Are you OK Tomo Chan?" Honey asked in concern.

"Not really Honey," I sighed, with a small smile.

"Come on Tomuru just tell us the phone call was," Hikaru whined, annoyed that he was denied information.

"OK fine, nosey boys," I sighed.

"No Tomo you don't have to..." Haruhi protested.

"No, it's OK. Basically, that phone call was from Yuli. She told me that Rossi has been put in detention for defending himself from two boys Middle school boys and one High school student. Only Rossi is getting punished," I explained bitterly.

"Well, that's stupid," Hikaru commentated.

"Why is only Rossi Chan getting punished?" Honey wondered innocently.

"Because Rossi is different that's why!" I exclaimed, raising my voice a bit.

"Different how exactly?" Tamaki asked softly.

"Rossi...he likes to wear clothing items that are deemed feminine, he likes playing with toys with a girl target audience and basically loves everything that is stereotyped to the female gender," I explained, with a tone that says 'if you have a problem with it I'll beat you senseless'.

"He has been bullied and harassed for his choice. People have accused my mother, my sister and even myself of being cruel and that we're 'forcing him' to wear such attire. Do you know how hard we had to fight for Rossi to wear the female school uniform at school? "I rant further started to pace.

"You may be the most brilliant sister I've met," Tamaki chuckled approvingly.

"Yeah I am and will continue to be one. I love Rossi and he has been unhappy for a while. In Elementary school, they assigned him to the school therapist without my mum's consent to 'change' him, which made him think he was a freak. I punched the therapist when I found out didn't I Dearest?"

"Yeah I made you a cake to congratulate you," Haruhi laughed.

"Remind me to never harm any of your loved ones," Kyoya interjected.

"Kyoya do not harm my loved ones," I reminded.

"Hey, it's passed five we better go so you can hug Rossi," Haruhi said.

"Right you are! Seeya guys Monday," I waved.

* * *

**Me: Tomuru you are not calling the police on my readers! **

**Tomuru: Yes I am, nasty stalkers**

**Me: Put. The. Phone. Down**

**Tomuru: NEVER!**

**Me: That's it you left me no choice...**

_**(I unleashed Tomo's arch nemesis Bernard the duck on her)**_

**Tomuru: AAH SHUT UP BERNARD! ****_(Angry quacking noises)_**

**Me: There that should do it. Seeya guys next time.**


	4. Episode 2 Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the anime or manga of OHSHC**

**Me: Haruhi where's Tomuru? I don't trust her alone.**

**Haruhi: She's gone to find Boris so you can't use her arch nemesis against her again.**

**Me: Alright then...here's the next chapter! Sorry, it's a little shorter than usual.**

* * *

"So...Tropical Paradise theme today?" I guessed looking around the club room jungle decor and what the Host's were wearing.

"Nirvana to be precise, they even brought in wildlife," Haruhi replied, pointing to the Toucans and parrots.

"That's so cool! I want a parrot."

"You're not having a parrot!" Haruhi objected.

"You never let me have anything," I pouted.

"You also have an outfit daughter dear. I think you'll like it," Tamaki said excitedly.

"I don't mind dressing up. Though, it seems a certain someone does. Dearest I can't help but notice you're not in cosplay?" I said.

"Yeah well you know me. I prefer to wear early spring attire in early spring."

"We'll show you the outfit!" the twins interjected dragging me to the changing rooms.

I was presented with a long, cream dress with Greek style gold plated pattern on the chest and cuff area and gold belt, with gold sandals and gold bangle to match. I changed into said dress and put my uniform in my school bag.

"We need to do your hair and makeup," the twins insisted making me sit in front a dressing table, already starting to brush my hair.

I started to fidget in my chair, as it felt like the twins were taking ages.

"Are you guys nearly finished? You have guests to tend to."

"OK done, what do you think?" Tweeds said.

"Tis very gold, but I like it. You guys can put on makeup better than I ever could," I approved, looking at the gold eyeshadow, light pink lipstick and Egyptian type eyeliner. My hair down with a plait down the middle.

I returned the club I took over tea serving from Haruhi.

"You look gorgeous Sugar," Haruhi complimented.

"Thank you Dearest," I replied.

"Oh and I almost to mention to you ladies, next week the Host club will be sponsoring a party," I overheard Tamaki inform his guests.

"We're throwing a party?" Haruhi thought aloud.

"What kind of party is it going to be. Is it going to be formal?" a light brown haired guest from the twin's table asked.

"Yes, we even rented the school's largest hall..." Hikaru answered.

"It's the perfect place for dancing," Kaoru finished.

"But I really wanted to spend some alone time with you Kaoru," Hikaru pined softly, holding his brother's cheek being mere inches from him.

"Don't be upset Hikaru, I know exactly how you feel," Kaoru responded, a slight blush on his cheeks, which of course made their guests swoon for some reason.

I wolf-whistled at them, which I was going to do every time they did that barely legal act.

"So you plan to do that every time they perform that 'brotherly love' act?" Haruhi sussed like she knew what I was thinking.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Tomuru you look lovely in that dress," a guest at the twin's table told me.

"Thank you, Princess, though it was mainly the twin's work. You ladies look this lovely every day without the twin's assistance, of course," I replied, letting them indulge in my compliments to them whilst I handed out cakes and sweets.

Once the guests left I had a challenge helping with taking the decorations down, especially in capturing the exotic birds.

" ...birds. I'm sure birds hate me," I gasped, out of breath from running around, my hair a mess with a number of times the parrots got tangled in it.

Everyone was sat at a long table planning the party, except Tamaki who appeared to be pouting and eating ramen.

"What's got Tamaki in the mood?" I asked no one in particular.

"Beats me?" Haruhi shrugged.

"Hey boss quit eating that commoners ramen and help us with the party planning," Hikaru called to him.

"Does it really bother you that Princess Kosika has taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kaoru scoffed.

"He shouldn't be surprised she's had the illness for a while now hasn't she?" Kyoya said, typing on his laptop.

"What illness?" Haruhi asked in concern.

"She's got the Host hopping disease..." Hikaru started.

"...Aka the never the same boy twice disease," Kaoru finished, both standing behind Kyoya symmetrically.

"Usually, a guest settles for one Host and sees him regularly. However Princess Kosika seems to change her favourites, on a regular basis," Kyoya explained.

"That's right because before she was with you, she was with Tama-Chan," Honey added.

"Oh, so he's upset that I took her from him?" Haruhi sussed.

"SHUT UP I COULDN'T CARE LESS!" Tamaki shouted at Haruhi.

"Yeah, because that tone of voice always conveys a level of not caring," I muttered sarcastically to myself.

"I'm running out of patience. Haruhi it's time you started dressing like a girl!" Tamaki exclaimed, pointing at her.

"Huh?"

"I don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies when yourself are a lady! No one in the entire school knows your secret except for those of us here," he continued to rant, opening a random treasure chest and taking out a huge picture of Middle school Haruhi. Whilst he was rummaging his ranting didn't stop.

"That's enough Haruhi, now you listen to daddy. Daddy wants you to go back to the way you're used to be!"

Tamaki retrieved a large framed picture of Middle school Haruhi.

"DON'T GO BLOWING UP MY PICTURES WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!" Haruhi shouted.

"Yeah and how did he get it?" I questioned.

"I have my sources," Kyoya answered, with a slight smirk.

"The more I look at this picture the more amazed I am. How can this become that?" Hikaru compared Middle school Haruhi, to Haruhi on the first day at Ouran academy. The hosts were all crowded around the picture now.

"The day before school started one of the kids from my neighbourhood got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair. So I decided to cut it all off, with Marcels help of course. I didn't care if I looked like a dude ya know," Haruhi explained nonchalantly.

"A GIRL SHOULD NEVER REFER TO HERSELF AS A DUDE! MAMMA! Haruhi is using those dirty boy words again," Tamaki complained, weeping like a widow.

"I'm sorry but who is Mamma?" I asked in amusement.

"Based on club position I assume it's me," Kyoya assumed, to which I laughed to myself quietly at the notion.

"Look I don't see what you're crying about working as a host I can pay back more of my debt. It'll never happen if I'm just an errand boy," Haruhi stated, looking down at a distraught Tamaki.

"Hate to change the subject but do you have formal dancing experience, you'll need it at the party," Hikaru butted in.

"Uh no, but the party has nothing to do with my quota right? I'm not interested in going to such events so if I could be excused," Haruhi replied nervously, trying to talk her way out of having to dance.

"Definitely not a refined gentleman must learn how to dance," Tamaki rejected, perking up quickly; "If you want to live like a Host that badly you're going to have to show us how far you're willing to go Haruhi. I order you to master dancing the waltz in one week and you will demonstrate at the night of the party. Or we'll tell the whole school you're a girl and knock you back down to errand boy," Tamaki declared.

"Good luck Dearest," I said lightly.

"That does include you too Sugar," Haruhi pointed out.

"Why do I need to waltz? I'm not a Host, I'd probably be handing out nibbles or whatever," I protested.

"No, you are to learn to dance the waltz. We've hired maids to take care of the food," Tamaki insisted.

"Whatever," I sighed, agreeing reluctantly.

"One minute...how did get that bump on your head? Was that always there?" Haruhi noticed pointing to a bruised bump on the top left corner of my forehead.

"Oh, I forgot about that. It's nothing," I waved off, covering the bump with my hand.

"Tomo spill it," Haruhi, Tamaki and the twins urged.

"It's nothing, quit fussing. I just had a little scrap at school," I insisted.

"Tomuru Okiro you tell me what happened right now!" Haruhi said sternly, hands on her hips.

"Someone didn't hit my daughter did they?" Tamaki gasped, everyone now trying to look at my bump.

"Alright, you how one of the boys who harassed Rossi was from the High school. Turns out it was Kai Ukuru, remember him?" I started.

"Wasn't he that guy who tried to date every girl in Middle school?" Haruhi replied.

"Yep, well he came up to me after classes and started spewing crap about Rossi. Saying he shouldn't have been born and that he's going to beat some sense into him next time he sees him," I continued, growing angrier at the memory.

"What happened next?" the twins urged impatiently.

"I told him if he went anywhere near my brother I would tear him to shreds like a rabid wolverine, to which he laughed at. So I kicked him in the shins. He stopped laughing then, deciding to punch me in the face ergo the bump and throw me on the ground by my ponytail."

"HE DID WHAT? I'LL KILL HIM!" Haruhi shouted, along with the twins and Tamaki.

"Not finished I then got up, kicked him in his tender area, pinched him so hard under his arm it broke the skin and kneed him in the head. I simply told him I was late and walked away," I finished, slightly smirking.

"That's my Sugar!" Haruhi praised hugging me tight.

"You're not going to get into trouble are you?" Honey asked worriedly.

"Who knows? I probably bruised his ego among other things. Guys like that don't care to admit they got hurt by a girl," I shrugged.

"Your family will be proud," Haruhi laughed.

"Your father certainly isn't. What were you thinking? Standing up to a boy like that. You would've gotten seriously hurt," Tamaki said sternly holding me by the shoulders.

"...OK, I understand that you take being my dad very seriously and that you seem to have some old fashioned notions about genders. But I will never stop fighting for my little brother. That goes for the rest of my family, Haruhi, Ranka and even you guys. Girls are a lot tougher than you think Tamaki, not all of us need a white knight to save them," I said calmly keeping eye contact with him throughout.

"C'mon Dearest lets tell them. Seeya guys tomorrow," I said, returning to my cheerful self.

"How can a man do such a thing to a maiden in the first place," Tamaki sighed, returning to his former self as well.

"Well, not all boys are handsome gentlemen such as you guys. If they were the world would be a much better place," I answered smiling.

* * *

**Me: So what do you think about dancing Tomo?**

**Tomuru: I'd rather dance with Boris.**

**Tomuru proceeded to hold Boris's front paws and dance with him, much to his discomfort.**

**Lola (my Rottweiler cross Akita) then knocked Tomo over whilst trying to get to Boris.**

**Me: Good girl Lola!**

**Tomuru: Lola I thought we were mates! I feel so betrayed**


	5. Episode 2 Part 2

**Me: This chapter's kinda small guys so I'll give ya the next chapter today as well.**

**Tomuru:...**

**Me: Tomuru what do you have in your hand?**

**Tomuru: Nothing!**

**Me: Is that jelly in the shape of the Death Star?**

**Tomuru: Maybe**

**Me: Why...I have no idea with you anymore**

* * *

"Quick, quick, slow, quick, quick... Good work Haruhi! Now on the slow you should bring your feet together and remember the gentleman always leads. And make sure to look at the lady you're dancing with." Princess Kosika taught Haruhi

"Got it," Haruhi jinxed before she tripped and fell on top of Koniko.

"Clumsy klutz," I called her though I don't fare much better in the dancing department.

I watched the two of them practise as I did my usual errands. At the corner of my eye, I spotted Tamaki, who was also watching gloomily

"Why so gloomy boss?" the twins asked.

"I bet it's because he wanted to be the one that Haruhi practice's with," I guessed.

"I think you might be right but he's too tall to stand in as a woman," Kaoru pointed out.

"Don't forget you still need to practise Tomuru," Kyoya reminded.

"How could I forget? I still need to do my dog duties first," I replied.

"Who's going to be the lucky Host to teach me?" I added.

"We'll teach you," the twins replied quickly.

"No, it is customary for her father to teach his daughter to dance," Tamaki exclaimed.

"Since when?" Hikaru scoffed.

"Since forever!" Tamaki squealed.

"I wanna do it!" Honey announced, then the four of them began bickering.

"I never thought I'd have handsome lads fighting over me," I laughed in bemusement.

"You pick!" Haruhi suggested from her table.

As soon as she suggested it the four Hosts gave me they're the best puppy dog expressions.

"Oh, don't make those faces at me," I whined.

Suddenly someone grabbed my arm from behind and twisted me around.

"Kyoya Senpai?"

"You were taking too long to choose when you should be doing your errands. the quicker I teach the quicker you can resume them," Kyoya reasoned.

"NO FAIR!" the twins and Tamaki exclaimed.

"Don't you have guests to tend too?" Kyoya stated calmly.

"You guys can take a turn dancing with me later okay?" I offered, lifting their spirits up and returned to their guests.

"Now first you place your right hand on my waist and your left hand in mine like so..." He instructed placing my hands in the correct place.

"Alright, now the hard part. Just a warning there will be a 90% chance I will step on your feet. Having a bad sense of direction doesn't bode well in the dancing department," I warned.

"Thank you for the heads up, now as I take a step forward with my right foot you take a step back."

"With my right or left foot?"

"It would be your left foot where you're standing."

"OK,"

"You don't have to take that big of a step Tomuru," Kyoya sighed.

"You didn't specify how big of a step to take!"

"Yes but I thought you would've seen people waltz on TV."

"I'm also trying not to step on your feet Kyoya Senpai."

"Appreciated now..."

"Hello, I'm here with the new teacups you ordered," A male voice called.

"We'll resume the dance lesson later," Kyoya stated, turning his attention to the boy.

"Ah thank you very much. Every item you have chosen for us has been very popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed," Kyoya greeted the boy pleasantly.

"Well that's good to hear," the boy replied earnestly.

"Tomuru please put these in the kitchen and arrange them into their matching sets," Kyoya instructed.

"The boxes are just by the door," the boy added, pointing to the stacked boxes.

There were five boxes in total, so I carried them to the kitchen one by one to prevent accidents. Unpacking the tea sets carefully, I heard a certain conservation outside.

"Oh, Haruhi you're so funny. I can't blame you for not knowing, after all, he doesn't look like the heir to a first-class company," I heard Koniko laugh though to me it sounded like she was hiding another emotion. Just a thought.

"First class company?" Haruhi questioned.

I looked at the name that was printed on the box which read 'Suzishima'

"His family runs the Suzishima trading company. They mainly deal with the importing of table wear. So whenever something exceptional is in we ask him to set some aside for us. He has a great eye for fine china, don't you Suzishima," Kyoya informed.

"Huh...well they are beautiful," I muttered to myself.

"You think? I've still got a lot to learn but thank you," Suzishima replied modestly.

"Aren't you leaving next month to study abroad in England?" Kyoya said.

"That's correct...well I best be going now," he answered, a little sadly in my opinion.

"England huh? Well if anyone knows tea it's the Brits. I'd love to go there one day." I thought to myself, opening the fourth box.

"I get the feeling you and that guy are kinda close," Haruhi spoke, I assume to Koniko.

"Don't be ridiculous we hardly know each other. What made you say that Haruhi? Now if you please excuse me take care," Koniko rushed in a panic, leaving the club room.

"Haru-Chan! You're right they do know each other. Suzishima is Kasika-Chan's fiance," Honey said.

"Kyoya how long have you known about this?" Tamaki questioned.

_Tamaki knows Kyoya too well._

"About the two of them being engaged? Well as you know I conduct general searches on all of our guests. Apparently the two of them were childhood friends. The marriage was set up by their parents. I didn't think the information benefited us so I disregarded it," Kyoya replied.

"I see."

"Todu Suzishima, outstanding grades, fair social status, he's ordinary looking but he's reliable. If I could fault him for anything..." Kyoya continued.

"He doesn't have much presence-" Hikaru started.

"-And he's faint hearted," Kaoru added.

"So in other words, he's boring," Kyoya summed up.

"Well aren't you guys bitchy," I quipped, heading out of the kitchen holding empty boxes.

"I didn't know they were so merciless to other guys," Haruhi told me.

"What do you want me to do with the boxes and bubble-wrap?" I asked.

"Put them in the storage cupboard," Kyoya said.

I did as per instruction when I returned the Hosts were crowded around a whiteboard.

"Should I ask?" I queried to Haruhi.

"Probably not," she advised.

"We're working on a strategy to get Suzishima and Princess Kosika together," Tamaki supplied, continuing to scribble on the whiteboards.

"Aww, you little matchmakers," I gushed.

"Shall we resume the dance lesson or wait until tomorrow?" Kyoya suggested.

"We'll pick it up tomorrow."

"Very well."

"Did you actually learn anything from Kyoya's dance lesson?" Haruhi asked.

"Well you don't take huge steps when waltzing I know that much."

* * *

**Tomuru: ehehehe**

**Me: You stay away from me with that jelly! **

**Tomuru: I'm not doing anything!**

**An unsuspecting Haruhi walks in...**

**Haruhi: Hey guys...Tomo what's tha- AAH!**

**Tomuru chucks Death Star jelly at Haruhi **

**Tomuru: IT'S A TRAP!**

**Haruhi: Remind me why we're friends again?**

**Tomuru: Because you loooove widdle ol' me.**

**Haruhi: No I don't think that's it.**

**Tomuru: (Plays smallest violin for herself)**


	6. Episode 2 Part 3

**Me: Second chapter today as promised**

**Haruhi: Where's your mixing bowl?**

**Me: Uh in the cupboard under the hob why?**

**Haruhi: Payback for Tomo from all the crap she's pulled so far.**

**Me: Okay then, never thought of you as the revenge type but go ahead.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

**THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE PARTY**

"Hello, Smello!" I greeted Haruhi at her apartment.

"Bringing back an old classic huh? You haven't used that one in years," Haruhi chuckled.

"Yep, ready to dance the night away?" I asked spinning around theatrically.

"OK let's get it over with. Seeya dad," Haruhi sighed.

"Bye Ranka, love ya," I called.

"Have fun you two," Ranka called back.

**At Ouran Academy...**

"Good evening gentlemen. You look dapper this evening," I complimented.

"Finally, took you guys long enough," Hikaru huffed impatiently.

Hikaru dragged Haruhi and Kaoru dragged me to the dressing room.

"Change into this please?" Kaoru said, holding up the dress.

"Well since you asked so nicely."

I wriggled into a silk black dress, which ends at the knee at the front lengthening towards the back.

"I think this dress is too pretty for me to wear," I said to myself.

"Don't be stupid," I heard the twins say behind the curtain.

"Help me zip up the back please," I said to one of the twins, opening the curtain.

"What?" I questioned seeing the twin's shocked reaction.

Then I heard Haruhi wolf-whistle behind me.

"Well don't you look handsome Dearest. The gals will be all over ya," I complimented Haruhi.

"You certainly look gorgeous in that dress Sugar," she replied.

"We need to do your hair and makeup," the twins said, snapping out of the weird trance.

"Meet you guys there," Haruhi said heading out the door.

"Wait zip me up first!" I called dragging her back.

She zipped up my dress before leaving.

"All done!" the twins declared after what felt like ages.

They put my hair up into a bun and added a black rose clip. I had black and silver eyeshadow plastered on, mascara, red lipstick and black sparkly nail polish.

"Wow, don't I scrub up nice?"

"Come on the guests will be here soon," the twins said taking me to the dance hall.

"It'll be easier if you didn't give me these heels."

We entered the large hall, which was already beginning to fill with excited guests. The Hosts were on stage preparing for the grand welcome.

"Tomo-Chan you look pretty," Honey commented.

"Thank you, Honey, so do you," I replied curtsying.

"My daughter looks so cute!" Tamaki squealed hugging me tightly.

"Not to be rude Senpai but your nice white suit is going to get ruined with my made up face," I muttered.

"Besides the guests are all here now," Kyoya added.

"Places everyone," Tamaki instructed before racing away somewhere.

"Where's he going?" I asked.

Kyoya pointed upwards to the higher balcony.

"Gotcha."

We went into the places as we rehearsed, as the lights were turned off for dramatic effect.

"It is so good to see you tonight my little lambs. The Ouran Host club would like to bid you..." Tamaki greeted suavely a spotlight shining on him, "Welcome."

The lights were turned on a set at a time and the orchestra started playing, again for dramatic effect.

"As always ladies the Host club is here for your entertainment so we invite you to dance to your hearts content. Based on her dancing skills one lucky young lady will receive a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king," Kyoya spoke charmingly.

"Good luck to you, my darlings," Tamaki flirted, causing the girls to go wild.

"And whoever we deem worthy of the second place shall receive a kiss from the Vice president Kyoya," Hikaru and Kaoru added.

_Hold on that wasn't in the rehearsal. _

Kyoya sent an evil glare to the twins.

"When can this just be over?" Haruhi whined, somehow already looking exhausted.

"Haruhi that isn't very gentlemanly of you," I tutted.

"Yeah show some enthusiasm," the twins agreed symmetrically.

"Well excuse me, guys, sorry. I'm not used to this sort of thing, I'm only used to the festivals held in my neighbourhood park," Haruhi grumbled.

"I don't know if you would call that a party or not," Kyoya said.

"I would, they're awesome," I concurred.

"Well while you're here you may as well get something to eat. We've got quite a spread," Kyoya continued.

"A spread?" both Haruhi and I said perking up like meerkats.

"Wiiith fancy tuna?" Haruhi asked hopefully.

"FANCY TUNA!" The twins and Tamaki exclaimed.

Tamaki gracefully dropped down to our level like an acrobat.

"Get some fancy tuna in here right now," Tamaki demanded.

"Add some deluxe sushi," Kyoya spoke over the phone.

Whilst this was occurring, the twins were hugging and cooing a red-faced Haruhi.

"Damn rich people," I sighed.

"Do you have any food requests Tomuru whilst I'm ordering?" Kyoya asked.

"Chicken legs and profiteroles," I replied quickly, to which Kyoya gave a nod and continued to talk over the phone.

"Having fish won't affect your allergies will it Tomo-Chan?" Honey asked worriedly.

"Nah it's only if I actually eat the fish. Although with some fish oils I get a rash from touching it," I assured.

"You're allergic to fish?" Hikaru questioned.

"Only raw fish but I stay away from all seafood just in case," I replied.

"You're Japanese and you're allergic to sushi," Kaoru teased.

"I know tragic isn't it? I can never be a stereotype. Damn you cruel fate," I joked dramatically.

"It's time to dance with the guests," Tamaki said impatiently, gesturing us to go down to them.

I left the Hosts to dance with the guests as I went on the hunt for food.

"Where is this 'spread'? I see no food," I muttered irritably.

"Hey we haven't had a chance to dance with you yet," the twins stated.

"No food first!"

"Come on then we'll give you food," Kaoru persisted.

"...Deal."

So I tried out my new dancing skills, only treading on each twin thrice. In my defense, it's hard to dance when you're dancing with two dance partners.

"Ow knock it off would ya?" Hikaru exclaimed.

"Look I'm trying my best but you lot keep insisting on looking at you rather than my feet," I snapped.

"My handsome looks putting you off Tomo?" He said cheekily.

"That's one way to put it."

The song ended and my hunger returned.

"Right, food now if you please," I insisted.

"Ah, ah, ah, we never said how long we will dance for," Hikaru denied, wagging his finger at me.

"You two have guests to dance with," I pointed out the small queue of girls waiting their turn.

The twins shrugged and danced with their guests as I resumed my food search. I spotted Haruhi leaning against a column watching the rest of the Hosts dance.

"I have not seen any food at all since we've been here," I said annoyed, leaning beside her.

"Really? Not even some waiters holding trays of nibbles or something?"

"Nope!"

"Haruhi I've been looking all over for you. Do you think maybe I could have the next dance?" Koniko asked, wearing a pale blue dress.

"Yeah, of course, you can," Haruhi replied charmingly, holding out her hand for Koniko to take.

"Shall we?" Kyoya asked holding out his hand to me.

"I thought you of all people would have had enough of my 'dancing skills'," I said bemusedly.

"I'm sure my feet can survive one more dance," he said, taking my hand and heading to the dance floor.

"Where is this 'quite a spread' you said was here?" I demanded whilst we danced.

"Right there," he said, pointing to a huge table filled with food, which included a huge pink cake and profiteroles.

"What? Where did...I have searched all around this hall twice and I...WHAT?" I stuttered.

"I suppose your eyesight is worse than you thought. Perhaps you need glasses?"

"My eyesight is perfectly fine. You just magicked the food to appear with your shadow king sorcery. Just to make me look mad," I argued.

"Believe me, I don't need to do anything to make you look mad Tomuru," he stated smirking that evil smirk he does.

"Kasika-Chan is here," Honey informed, dancing with his guest.

"Very well then let us commence with the operation," Tamaki said, dancing with one of his guests.

"Roger," Honey and Mori said, going to 'fetch' Haruhi.

"Come along," Kyoya said half dragging me to the club room.

"B-but food Kyoya Senpai!" I whined.

"You make it sound like you never get fed."

"With the Hosts around me, I don't," I muttered irritably.

As we waited for Haruhi my stomach continued to growl.

"I know tummy, we'll get you filled soon."

"Are you comforting your stomach?" Kyoya asked bemused.

"Yes,"

"There she is," Kaoru said as Mori put Haruhi down.

"You didn't have to be so forceful," Haruhi protested

"Never mind that go get changed," Hikaru said pushing her into a changing room, with the dress she'll be wearing.

"I still don't think that putting a wig and a dress on Haruhi will make her unrecognizable to Suzishima. I think you guys just want to see her dressed up like that," I thought out loud.

"I agree," Haruhi said stepping out of the dressing room, wearing her wig and dress.

"A few accidents towards the end of the night would be quite thrilling. And remember Haruhi there are only 20 minutes remaining until the party reaches its climax. Suzishima is waiting for you in the classroom across the hall," Kyoya informed.

"We know this is the boss's strategy but it's kind of unsettling," Hikaru opinionated as the twin's put her makeup on.

"Gentlemen there you all are what are you doing? The guests are waiting for..." Tamaki scorned stopping mid-sentence once he saw Haruhi.

"Tis pink but you look gorgeous Dearest," I commented.

"You look great Haru-Chan!" Kyoya praised, sike it was Honey!

"My face feels heavy and it's hard to walk in these shoes," Haruhi grumbled.

"Good luck Haruhi," the twins called as she walked away.

"Luckily she's so pretty," Tamaki squeaked.

"Now I'm getting food before it disappears again," I declared determinedly.

"Wait we haven't danced yet! A father needs to dance with his daughter," Tamaki whined.

"You need to go with Princess Kasika remember. You know as part of your plan," I reminded.

"One song. It'll only be three minutes," Tamaki said quickly, dragging me towards the dance floor.

"Fine, no point arguing with you," I sighed.

"Isn't this fun?" Tamaki said giddily.

"It would be if you guys wouldn't starve me...oh where's the buffet now?" I stated irritably.

"OUCH!"

"Sorry, I step on feet," I apologised.

When the song ended Tamaki went to find Koniko and I went to find food...again.

Except all I saw were guests and Hosts dancing. After a while, I gave up searching and lent against the column Haruhi was leaning on earlier.

"Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the last dance of these evening festivities. The last waltz of tonight is awarded to this couple," Tamaki announced, to which everyone went on the balconies to watch Koniko and Suzishima dance in the courtyard.

I stood beside Haruhi who was dressed in her previous outfit.

"So the plan worked I take it?" I asked her.

"Surprisingly it did," Haruhi replied, smiling at the happy couple.

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed," Tamaki declared.

"And now to announce the queen of the ball. Congratulations Miss Koniko Kasikasaki," the twins announced, to which Koniko blushed.

"And your reward a kiss on the cheek from the King," Hikaru continued.

"You ready?" Tamaki said suavely.

"Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki," Kaoru added, to which Tamaki and Haruhi looked shocked and I burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Kyoya did say a little accident towards the end of the night will make the evening more thrilling for everyone," the twins excused.

"There is no way I can kiss her," Haruhi stated bluntly.

"If you do it we'll cut your debt by one-third," Kyoya offered.

"Well, it is just a peck on the cheek," Haruhi reasoned, making me laugh even more.

I lent on the railing for support as I watched Haruhi go down the steps to kiss Koniko.

"You don't think this is Haru-Chan's first kiss do you?" Honey thought aloud.

"What?" Tamaki exclaimed, before running to prevent said kiss.

"WAIT HARUHI!" He shouted as Haruhi lent in.

However, Tamaki slipped on a random banana peel, pushing Haruhi into a full-on kiss on the lips with Koniko, which made the guests erupt into delighted chatter.

"I'm...dying," I gasped barely breathing from laughing too hard.

"And now to reveal the girl who won second place, the reward being a kiss from Kyoya. Congratulations Miss...Tomuru Okiro." the twins announced, with a cheeky glint in their eyes.

"...Say what?" I said, subduing my laughter.

"You heard us Tomo," Hikaru teased.

"Me? You've gotta be kidding. I've been stepping on toes all night," I scoffed, standing upright again.

Kyoya sighed and pinched his brow before he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, lingering for a few seconds before retracting.

"Now can I please, pleeease get some food," I begged.

"Sorry, the buffet has been packed away," Kyoya informed, with I'm sure an evil glint in his eyes.

"You're kidding?"

"I never kid Tomuru."

I then went into my own dark aura in defeat.

"You okay Sugar?"

"I give up. I never got to eat a single profiterole. Evil, evil boys."

* * *

**Me: Hope you guys enjoyed it.**

**Tomuru ran through my room laughing madly.**

**Tomuru: Can't catch me dearest MUHAHAA**

**Me: Huh?**

**Haruhi then ran past holding a massive chocolate mousse cake over her head.**

**Haruhi: Get back here I just want to share my cake with you!**

**Then Honey ran past...**

**Honey: DON'T RUIN THE CAKE!**

**Me: Alright then?**


	7. Episode 3 Part 1

**Me: This Chapters a little late cuz my internet was being annoying.**

**Tomuru: Look what I've found!**

**Me: Uh, where did you get a wand from?**

**Tomuru: A ginger boy dropped it **

**Tomuru eyes up a bowl of gummy bears.**

**Me: Don't you dare do whatever it is your brain is telling you to do madam!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OHSHC. If I did there would be a second season!**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

It was Saturday afternoon and Haruhi and I was lounging on my bed watching Hetalia.

"Favourite country?" I quizzed her.

"Japan 'cus it's my native country and he seems to be the most normal one out of them," Haruhi answered.

"Mine's Italy because he shares my love of pasta and he's an adorable moron. PASTA!" I responded.

"Of course."

"You guys are watching Hetalia without me," Rossi whined entering my room.

"Yes Muhahahaha," I replied, doing an evil laugh.

"Meany Beanie," he muttered.

"Come and watch then," Haruhi said shuffling to make room for Rossi.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed, jumping in between us.

"Rossi favourite country go," I asked quickly.

"Britain because of his eyebrow game and he's a prickly pear," he answered.

"OK, both of you, what country would you date, go," I quizzed.

"What? Japan again if any."

"Hungary, Britain or Spain," Rossi listed.

"For me USA, Britain or Sweden."

"Sweden?" Rossi scoffed.

"Yeah he's cool, don't disrespect Sweden," I defended.

Throughout the 20th episode, a random thought popped into my head.

"I have an amazing idea!" I exclaimed.

"Stop doing that!" Haruhi snapped in surprise, thwacking me on the arm.

"Rossi, how would you like to visit the Host Club?" I asked him, smushing his face.

"Yeah OK!" he answered eagerly.

"Brilliant! You see the Host Club already knows about the bully issue, they're nosey, and they can definitely cheer you up. I'll ask the guys about it on Monday. I can pick you up from school and take you there," I babbled excitedly.

"Are they nice?" Rossi asked, playing with one of his bows on his green Lolita dress.

"They're very nice Rossi. Weird, over the top but nice," Haruhi assured smiling.

"And they won't mind me dressing like this."

"Rossi they won't mind a bit. I wouldn't have thought of it otherwise," I promised.

"They will treat you like one of their guests," Haruhi added.

"Wait, what if Kyoya wants us to pay for Rossi like they charge the guests?" I thought suddenly.

"Well then it can be added to my debt," Haruhi waved off.

"No I couldn't do that to you," Rossi protested.

"Rossi it's cool. Besides it's only one day as a trial right Sugar?"

"Yeah, a trial basis, I'm telling mum," I said, heading to my mum's study.

"Hey Motherlord, I know you're busy and stuff but I'm gonna take Rossi to the Host Club to cheer him up, sometime next week," I informed, quickly popping my head around mum's study door.

"Great idea Tommi! Thanks for the heads up," Motherlord praised, before returning to her typing.

"Okay!" I replied leaving her to her work.

"Motherlord says it's a great idea," I informed.

"Great, can we watch more Hetalia now?" Rossi urged.

"Yep," Haruhi and I agreed.

**MONDAY**

"Yes new record only 10 minutes late," I praised myself standing outside Music Room 3.

"Wait, where is everyone?" I pondered, as the room was deserted.

There was only a black and white waitress uniform on a manikin my height. On it was a note which read:

_"Doggie! Put this on and meet us in the back gardens. The one with the cherry trees. Hikaru and Kaoru X."_

"Riiight? Wait how many gardens do they have here?" I thought to myself as I took the clothes of the manikin and headed to the changing rooms. Once changed I went in search of the Host club. Shouldn't be too hard...

**15 minutes later...**

"OH COME ON! Really? This school has a maze. How did I...?" I exclaimed in the middle of a rose maze.

I called Kyoya for assistance.

"Tomuru? Are you on the school grounds?" he answered.

"Your school just HAD to have a maze didn't it?" I exclaimed.

"I'll take that as a yes. I assume you're stuck in the maze?"

"I've managed to get stuck right in the middle of it!"

"Idiot."

"Shut up, how do I get out?" I snapped.

"Just keep to the right until you see the exit. Someone will meet you there," he instructed.

"Thank you...wait to keep to the right or left again?"

"Right," he said before hanging up on me.

"Rude."

"OK keep to the right, keep to the right, keep to the right," I chanted to myself, walking with one hand on the right-hand side of the rose maze.

**Kyoya's Narrative**

"Haruhi your friend is lost in the rose maze," I told Haruhi, who facepalmed.

"I knew I should have waited to meet her. I'll head there now," she sighed.

"You have guests to tend to," I reminded.

"We'll meet Tomo-Chan!" Honey offered, Mori nodded.

"Best be on your way then," I said.

"Thanks a lot you guys," Haruhi said appreciatively before returning to her guests.

"Where's Honey and Mori going?" One guest asked.

"They've gone to save Tomo. She's stuck in the rose maze," Haruhi explained.

"She seems to get lost frequently doesn't she?" the guest laughed.

"More than you know," Haruhi sighed shaking her head.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

I'm having doubts about this strategy.

I saw what looked like an entrance. Luckily there stood Mori and Honey in their cosplay.

"At last Salvation!" I said relieved, hugging Honey.

"Come on Tomo-Chan, it's this way," Honey urged dragging in the right direction.

Then I saw the guests and club members around floor tables.

"Late as usual Doggie?" Tweedledum laughed.

"Actually, if you guys were in the club room, as usual, I would only be 10 minutes late! That's a new record for me," I argued.

"Well, tend to your errands," Kyoya said.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered grabbing a tea tray.

"Looking lovely lost girl," Haruhi commented.

"Haruhi I actually knew the way to Ouran Academy! Aren't you proud?" I said triumphantly.

"Took you long enough," Haruhi replied.

I served coffee and tea, as usual, chatting to the guests.

"Where's the strangest place you ended up when getting lost?" a usual of Haruhi's asked.

"The cow field was quite random. Though I've gotten lost too many to recount. I've ended up in kid's birthday parties, fields, farms, I'm sure I ended up in a cave once," I listed, making the guests laugh.

"Don't forget to tell the guys about..." Haruhi started.

"Yeah I won't forget. I'll finish my errands first," I interrupted.

"Forget what?" the twins asked curiously, snaking their arms around my shoulders.

"I'm gonna ask if my little brother can visit the Host Club sometime this week," I supplied.

"You mean the one who cross dresses?" Hikaru said.

"Yes."

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. We could give him a makeover," Kaoru said.

"I thought it wouldn't be," I nodded.

Once all the guests were content I went in search for either Tamaki or Kyoya.

"Excuse me ladies do you know where Kyoya or Tamaki is?" I ask a group of guests talking amongst themselves.

"We don't know sorry," A black haired girl answered.

"Do you girls mind when the Hosts go off and do their thing? I mean they leave you to entertain yourselves sometimes," I queried, noticing they do that often.

"We're used to it," A light brown haired girl shrugged.

"OK then."

I found Tamaki Senpai by the cherry trees talking to Haruhi.

"Oh wow Senpai you're blooming in more ways than one," Haruhi commented, as Tamaki was sparkling, no literally sparkling. Bloody anime.

"You noticed! Yes, my beauty is quite splendorous I'm in full bloom. I bet you'll fall for me soon," Tamaki said pompously.

"You wish," I muttered.

As the twins spoke to Haruhi about what classes to take I took the chance to talk to Tamaki.

"We are in the same class after all," the twins taunted, turning to Tamaki.

This, of course, made Tamaki go in his dark aura.

_Dammit!_

"Say Mommy dear?" Tamaki murmured to Kyoya.

"What is it now Daddy?" Kyoya responded, playing along with Tamaki's family delusion.

"Didn't know Kyoya had a sense of humour," I muttered to myself in pleasant surprise.

"I have a new theory. I mean it's just my hypothesis. But it seems that by being in the same class as her, the twins spend more time with her than I do here at the club. This gives them a chance to get close to her and if that happens..."

"Tamaki you just now realised that?" Kyoya interrupted.

"Ooh brutal," I winced as Tamaki got hit by a random bolt of lightning.

"Who's flying that kite?" I wondered to myself, spotting a white kite in the distance.

"According to my research in a single day, the twins roughly spend nine hours of class time with Haruhi. Meanwhile, your contact with her is limited to a couple of hours of club activities. In other words, your involvement in Haruhi's life each day amounts to no more than a mere three percent..." Kyoya stated with some random charts, which he must have apparated them with his shadow magic.

"AHH I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" Tamaki screeched

"Listen Haruhi I want you to stop hanging around with those shady twins from now on," Tamaki demanded, grabbing her shoulders.

"Who are you calling shady?"

"Yeah take a good look at yourself boss," the twins called in the background.

"Alright, then we can't keep hiding the fact that you're a girl from the school any longer. All daddy wants is for you to be the girl you used to be. For you to start surrounding yourself with girlfriends and start leading a wholesome life!" Tamaki sobbed.

"Hey aren't I enough?" I interjected.

"Well, she needs to befriend more girls that are more in touch with their feminine side."

"Ooh Harkacha," I replied holding up an imaginary handbag.

"That's Tomuru's way of reacting to people who say something mean to her," Haruhi explained, fluent in Tomo speak.

"SO CHANGE RIGHT NOW, CHANGE RIGHT NOW!" Tamaki sobbed, shaking Haruhi to and fro dramatically.

"You don't have to rush things she will be found out soon enough," Hikaru started.

"Physical exams are a day after tomorrow," Kaoru finished, both of them symmetrically making the 'whatever' sign.

"Physical...exams?" Haruhi questioned.

"That's right I forgot all about it," Kyoya said.

_Really? Shadow lord forgot something? I highly doubt that._

"Then that means there's no doubt. They're gonna know she's really a girl," I spoke aloud.

"Why are they so shocked?" Haruhi whispered, as the Hosts (Except the cool and stoic type) looked horrified.

"Maybe they don't want people founding out so you won't leave them," I whispered back

"Guys, can Rossi come and visit the Host club sometime this week?" I piped up; however they paid no attention to me.

"Rude," I muttered.

"I see no problem with that," I heard Kyoya say behind me.

"Great! Do you want payment for him to come as a guest?" I asked.

"First Host club session is free of charge."

"Well, this is just going to be a trial run for now. It won't be a regular thing unless Rossi wants to visit more."

"Naturally."

"Rossi-Chan is going to visit?" Honey said excitedly.

"Yeah but I haven't planned a day yet."

"Just bring him tomorrow," Haruhi shrugged.

"Alright," I agreed.

"Better get all this stuff packed away now Sugar," Haruhi stated.

"Yep."

* * *

** Me: Thanks for reading lovelies!**

**Tomuru: (whispers) Engorgio**

**The bowl of gummy bears grows huge. **

**Tomuru: YES SUCCESS! **

**Me: Dammit Tomuru I told you not to! Ah well, what's done is done.**

**Tomuru and I grab a huge gummy bear (the size of actual teddy bears)each and start eating.**


	8. Episode 3 Part 2

**Tomuru: You're late madam! Where have you been I've been worried sick?**

**Me: Uuuh college why are you dressed like a mum?**

**Tomuru: College! Pah this is way more important than college. Get your priorities straight.**

**Me: I have my priorities straight, college comes first sorry.**

**Tomuru: I have never been so insulted! You have the golden opportunity to write about me and you make it your second priority. **

**Me: I'm ignoring you Tomo. Enjoy this chapter lovelies! **

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Ready to go?" I asked Rossi, meeting him outside of the Middle School.

"We're not going straight there are we?"

"Yes, we have no time to change Rossi."

"Aww man, I wanted to wear one of my Lolita dresses," Rossi moaned.

"Don't fuss I'm sure the twins have some dresses up their sleeves," I waved off.

"You definitely know how to get there right?" Rossi asked.

"Yes have more faith! I know the route," I said, as we walked towards town.

"But not off by heart."

"No but then again I don't know the way home off by heart so..." I admitted.

I took Rossi the shortest route I could find, which meant I have to pass by Bernard's duck fountain.

"Shut up Bernard!" I snapped, as he led a loud chorus of angry quacks.

"They really don't like you do they?"

"Nope and I don't like them."

**At Ouran Academy's entrance...**

"Welcome to Ouran Academy," I announced.

"Tis bubble-gum," Rossi commented.

"Shut up its pink! Let's get inside."

"So. Many. Stairs," Rossi panted as we climbed the third staircase.

"Tell me about it, look it's just down this hall," I said.

"Music room 3?"

"Yeah abandoned music room," I informed before opening the door.

As usual rose petals floated towards us, one petal always somehow lands in my mouth making me choke.

However there were no guests at the club today, the Hosts were crowded around a whiteboard, except Haruhi.

"Guys this is Rossi, Rossi this is the Host Club. Tamaki is blond one with violet eyes, Kyoya is the black haired glasses one, Hikaru and Kaoru are the ginger twins, Honey is the strawberry blond one and Mori is the tall stoic one," I introduced pointing to each Host.

The Hosts stopped whatever they were doing and greeted Rossi.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Rossi. Your sister has told us a thing or two about you," Tamaki greeted.

"Has she now?" Rossi said turning to me.

"I haven't been bad mouthing ya if that's what you're thinking, just some details," I defended.

"Please take a seat and our errand girl will serve you shortly," Kyoya said in his Host manner.

"Wait we wanna give Rossi a makeover first," the twins interjected.

"Sure! Do you have any Lolita dresses?" Rossi agreed eagerly.

"Yeah what colour do you want?" the twins asked as they took Rossi to the changing rooms.

"Have fun!" I called before turning my attention to the Hosts.

"Alright, you lot where are the guests today?"

"They're not coming today. Sometimes we have days just to plan club activities," Kyoya informed.

"Let me guess today you guys are planning on how to stop people finding out Haruhi's a girl at the physical exam tomorrow," I sussed.

"Exactly," Haruhi confirmed.

"You will not be here whilst the plan unfolds won't you Tomuru?" Tamaki said.

"Alas, you are right. I won't be able to see how you're gonna pull this off," I sighed dramatically.

"Eh I'll probably tell ya all about it Tomo," Haruhi said.

"You better."

I set up a tea set and some Angel cake for Rossi.

"All done," the twins called hiding Rossi behind their backs.

"Show me then," I urged.

The twins stepped aside to reveal Rossi. he was wearing the most puffiest pink Lolita dress I've ever seen. He also wore some pink ballet flats and a pink bow in his short black hair to match.

"Well what do ya think?" he asked twirling.

"Tis pink. Very pink and fwoofy," I commented.

"It's not pink its fusia!"

"Shut up it's pink. Come and have some cake."

I sat with him whilst he ate some cake.

"Right you. Do you want the whole Host club experience? Or just sit and hang out? I asked.

"Dunno what's the Host club experience?"

"You pick a Host to entertain you. There's the princely type, the boy Lolita, the stoic type, the little devil type, the cool type or Haruhi," I listed.

"Why don't I get a type?" Haruhi demanded.

"Cus I don't know what type you come under."

"Boy Lolita type please," Rossi decided.

"Very well, Honey Senpai you're up," I said letting Honey sit where I sat.

"Hello, Rossi-Chan! I'm Honey and this is Usa-Chan," Honey said cheerfully, holding up his bunny.

"Nice to meet you both," Rossi replied.

I left them to chat and stood beside Haruhi.

"I've got it. You guys are worried that if they find out I'm a girl I can't be a Host and, therefore, can't repair my debt," Haruhi said before she started calculating how much money she still had to repay to the Host Club.

"Well, I guess I'll have to find another way to pay you guys back," Haruhi continued before she started laughing.

"Why are you laughing you said nothing funny?" I asked, very confused.

"Do something the subject doesn't appear to have any motivation," the twins demanded to Tamaki.

"Why did we get stuck with such a difficult heroine?" Tamaki moaned.

"Heroin?"

"Are you saying you hate being a Host, that you hate this club?" Tamaki demanded.

"To be honest, I have to say yes," Haruhi answered, which, of course, made Tamaki go in his dark aura.

"I mean you guys aren't bad but if the school finds out I'm a girl there's nothing I can do ya know?"

"Shouldn't the Dean and the teachers that teach you to know that you're a girl anyway? The registers must have the information on them or something?" I thought aloud.

"Yeah I guess. You're point being?" Haruhi asked.

"So it's just the students think you're a boy."

"Yes."

"So what the teachers just play along? They don't call you Miss or she."

"...alright I see what you're getting at that is a bit weird," Haruhi agreed.

"Haruhi doesn't seem to care one way or the other," Hikaru realised.

"Well before we do anything else we need to find a way to motivate her," Kaoru stated.

"Fancy tuna," Mori suggested.

"Oh, that's right you never got to eat any after last episodes party did you?" Tamaki said somewhat creepily.

"Episode?"

"Did you hear that Haruhi has never tried fancy tuna before isn't that awful," Hikaru stage whispered.

"Wow talk about a difficult childhood," Kaoru replied.

"If only Haru-Chan could stay in the Host club then she can eat all kinds of yummy things whenever she wants," Honey played along.

"Manipulative boys," I muttered, catching onto what they were doing.

"What are you talking about don't be silly. Just because I'm poor and I never had it doesn't mean I'm so much of a glutton I would go on fooling everyone just to try some fancy tuna," Haruhi said, trying to act convincing but they knew they had her interested.

"Am I really gonna get to try it?" she murmured.

"You're so easy to bribe Dearest."

"Yeah so are you, chicken."

"Where?" I said looking around eagerly.

"See it's too easy."

"Curse my love of chicken! How's it going over there, Rossi?" I asked.

"Honey doesn't know what Hetalia is," Rossi exclaimed.

"Really? Does he, at least, watch Disney films?"

"I watch studio Ghibli," Honey said.

"I love studio Ghibli!" I said enthusiastically.

"We need to show Hetalia though Tommi," Rossi insisted.

"Sure thing, so I take it you're enjoying yourself then?"

"Yeah I love this place it's like a fictional romantic comedy."

"Does that mean you like to make these visits regular?" Kyoya guessed.

"Yep I wanna be a full-time guest to Honey-Senpai," Rossi declared.

"Haruhi we're going to be working at the Host Club for ages," I informed.

"What's happened now? Did you break a ridiculously expensive vase too?"

"No Rossi's gonna be a full-time guest at the Host club."

"Great, well as long as Rossi is happy," Haruhi sighed.

"Love you Haruhi!" Rossi called.

Once the Host club ended Rossi wanted to thank the Hosts.

"Thanks a lot for having me as a guest today. And with being so cool with the way I dress. Tomo probably told you I get harassed a lot for it so this is a nice change. I can't wait to visit you guy's again," he said sweetly, back in his school uniform.

"SO CUTE!" everyone, except Mori, Kyoya and Haruhi because they are somewhat sane, squealed and hugged Rossi.

"And I thought Tomo alone was bad enough," I heard Rossi mutter.

* * *

**Me: Tomuru, stop having a paddy **

**Tomuru: No! (throws giant marshmallow pillows at me)**

**Me: Fine do as you please**


	9. Episode 3 Part 3

**Me: Hello lovelies! There will be a change in the frequency I'm updating due to college work. I'll try and do every two days if I can, if not then it will be every Thursday or Friday.**

**Tomuru: College isn't better than Fanfiction!**

**Me: Well I get to play with animals like snakes and iguanas sooo...**

**Tomuru: Snakes? What like this one? **

**Tomuru takes out a venomous King cobra.**

**Me: Where did you get that snake? **

**Tomuru: Found this cutie in my wardrobe.**

**Me: OK well be careful it is a very venomous snake. Maybe best to keep away from it.**

**Tomuru: Pfft I'm not going to eat it silly**

**Me: Tomuru Venomous is where it bites you and you get severely hurt or die. You're thinking of poisonous snakes. **

**Tomuru: But I named it Desmond**

**Me: Just please put it away. I do not own OHSHC by the way. **

* * *

**Haruhi's Narration**

**"Hey, Haruhi how'd it go? Is your secret identity safe for another day?" Tomuru asked me eagerly the next day at my home. The reason I waited to tell her at home instead of the Host club is so no guests can overhear.**

**"Yes, my identity is safe," I assured.**

**"So tell me the tall tale. I've been waiting all day."**

**"Very well."**

**Haruhi's flashback**

"We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly. All students please proceed to the clinic in your respective school building," I heard through the speakers.

"So what's the deal with this formation A thing you guys were talking about? What do you do during physical exams here at Ouran anyway?" I asked the twins as we walked to the clinic.

"It's no different from any physical exam you'd get at any other school," Hikaru answered.

"Yeah why would a physical exam be different for us just cuz we're rich?" Kaoru added.

"You're right I didn't think about it that way."

"Welcome Students," Two rows of doctors and nurses chorused at us when I opened the door. Kinda like how the Hosts greet guests.

"W-what is all this?" I stammered in surprise.

"Just another physical exam," Hikaru replied casually.

"The usual," Kaoru shrugged.

"The usual?"

**"You're kidding?" Tomo scoffed.**

**"Nope all the doctors were weirdly nice and friendly too," I said.**

"Hitachiin brothers please follow me to get your height measured," A nurse spoke to the twins.

"Sure thing," Hikaru and Kaoru said following the nurse.

"Mr Fujioka I'm your nurse for your physical exams this afternoon," Another nurse told me.

**"Hold the phone! The doctors and nurses think you're a boy too?" Tomo interrupted.**

**"Yep," I confirmed.**

**"The Dean didn't inform them of your situation?"**

**"Nuh uh,"**

**"That Ouran Academy is weird with or without the Host Club," Tomo commented.**

**"Anyhow…"**

"Okay," I replied.

"Please come this way," The nurse dragged me to where I was going to have my physical exam.

"Honey Senpai? Mori Senpai?" I recognised Honey and Mori though they were wearing doctor cosplay.

**"With lab coats and everything?" Tomo asked.**

**"Yep, they even wore glasses."**

"Shh," Mori and Honey shushed me.

"They're so obvious."

"I've got those two for backup just in case something happens," Kyoya said.

"But why are they in doctor disguises?" I asked.

"They're just helping set the mood. Disguises make the operation feel like a real espionage mission."

I looked over to see one of the doctors do a physical exam.

"Wow Miss Shiramina you've lost two whole kilograms since this time last year," The doctor informed.

"That's so good to hear I thought for sure I was heavier," The student said happily.

"Not at all keep it up and you'll be even healthier next year," The doctor said kindly.

"Don't you think it's weird that these doctors are all so jovial and nice?" I questioned.

"They're chosen by the chairman. This maybe a school but it's also a business; therefore he wants to keep the students happy. After all, most of these students come from prominent families that have their own private doctors at home. So this is just a formality," Kyoya explained.

"These damn rich people," I thought exasperatedly.

"Hitachiin brothers would you please come with me we're ready to do your chest measurements. You can use the area behind this curtain to undress," I heard the twin's nurse tell them.

"Doesn't matter to me," Hikaru said nonchalantly.

"We're not shy who needs a curtain," Kaoru shrugged.

A group of female students squealed excitedly when Hikaru and Kaoru took their shirts off.

"See Haruhi a rather impressive turnout today. Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies," Kyoya commented.

"What's wrong with the girls at this school?" I sighed.

"I won't allow it, it's just not fair. I won't let those doctors touch you Kaoru," Hikaru pined, doing the brotherly love act.

"What are talking about? You don't seem to have a problem touching me when we play doctor at home. I can't stop you from tickling me and toying with my body," Kaoru replied softly.

**"Sometimes that act gives me the creeps," Tomo shuddered.**

**"What do you mean sometimes? It creeps me out all the time."**

"Come on Haru-Chan this way," Honey urged, pushing me into a curtained area.

"I've been waiting for you, my princess," Tamaki said quietly, his arms wrapped around me.

"Tamaki Senpai," I said in surprise, getting out of his grasp and kneeling on the floor.

"You're so cute when you're surprised," Tamaki gushed, to which I pouted.

**"Aww, you two are so cutesy!"**

**"Shut up!" I snapped.**

"Mr Fujioka it's time to take your chest measurements. Once you've finished disrobing would you please come with me," My nurse told me through the curtain.

"This is it the inevitable moment has arrived. You just stay back here and wait, okay Haruhi," Tamaki instructed.

"But what are you going to do?"

"Don't you worry I'll protect you. I promise I'll protect you Haruhi."

**"He makes it sound like he's battling a dragon to rescue a fair maiden," Tomo commented.**

**"I know he can get too dramatic sometimes."**

"Mr Fujioka are you ready to be measured now?" the nurse asked.

"Yes I'm Haruhi Fujioka," Tamaki answered, drawing back the curtain to reveal himself, wearing a brown wig.

"Wait that's Tamaki?"

"There's no denying it that's definitely Tamaki."

"Is he cosplaying as Haruhi?"

"What's going on is he trying to be funny?" some of the girls commented.

"I can't believe he actually did it?" Hikaru laughed, from what I heard.

"They recognise him I told you they'd see through it," I heard Kaoru laugh.

**"Th-that was their plan! Hahaha," Tomo laughed.**

"YOU JERKS YOU SAID THERE WAS NO WAY THE GIRLS WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL IT WAS ME!" Tamaki yelled.

"That's payback for calling us the Homosexual supporting cast," Hikaru laughed.

"I'm sorry they figured it out," Tamaki told me sheepishly.

"AAH!" Tamaki shrieked when I glared at him.

"Just as I thought Tamaki Senpai lives in his own carefree little world," I thought to myself.

"Haruhi ready? I went ahead and set up a separate room for you a special boys clinic. And I have a doctor standing by sworn to secrecy," Kyoya informed.

"Turns out the doctors here today are all on staff at one of Kyoya Senpai's hospitals," Hikaru said.

"Would've been nice if he said something to us earlier," Kaoru commented.

"I had to get my revenge too. I'm sorry I just don't think I'm supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

I went to the special boys clinic and knocked on the door. A female voice told me to come in.

"Come in. Mr Fujioka, I have been made aware of your situation now if you don't mind please disrobe for me over there," The nurse at the desk instructed.

"Sure."

As I took off my shirt a man wearing a lab coat came in sneakily.

"Uh excuse me?" I said unsurely.

"No, it's not what you think please just be quiet," The man said hastily, placing his hand on my mouth.

**"Was he a pervert?"**

**"That's what they thought at first but turns out he wasn't."**

"Haruhi, TAMACHAN KICK!" Tamaki exclaimed kicking the man away from me.

"One good looks that attract the public eye," The twins started.

"Two more wealth than you can imagine," Kyoya continued.

"Three chivalry that cannot overlook-" Mori said.

"-the hideous wickedness of this world," Honey then spoke.

"That's what makes the Ouran Host Club," Tamaki finished the speech.

"WE'RE HERE WATCH OUT!" All the Hosts spoke determinedly.

**"UUUUHHHH so blaaahhh," Tomo moaned.**

**"Don't like their little speech?"**

**"No it's soooo cheesy," She groaned.**

"Please don't hurt me spare me my life," The man begged.

"I'm a doctor, I live in the next town over my name is Yabu," The man started to explain himself.

"Did he say his name's Yabu?" Hikaru asked

"That's crazy what a terrible name for a doctor," Kaoru criticised.

"Unless you're a quack," The twins said at the same time.

"I know I'm looking for my daughter. My wife left me last month and took my daughter with her. But I know she attends school here."

"I don't mean to pry or anything but why did your wife and daughter leave you?" I asked curiously.

"Well, you see my wife was sick of living in debt and my daughter wanted to go with her. I know I'm terrible at managing our money. I can't blame them for being sick of constantly living in debt. But I wanted to see my daughter one last time. After wandering the streets in the pelting rain, I finally made it to your school. When I arrived I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students," Yabu continued.

"Well, of course, you're wearing a lab coat," Hikaru commented.

"Anyone would mistake you," Kaoru stated.

"And then it happened. When I asked one of the students if she saw my daughter the girl started screaming then before I knew it I had all kinds of people chasing me," The man sobbed.

"That's so tragic!" Tamaki wept.

"Doctor Yabu I think you may have the wrong place. Are you looking for Ouran Public High school?" Kyoya asked.

"Yeah that's right," Yabu confirmed.

"I figure that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution; your daughter doesn't go to school here," Kyoya stated.

"Man that's really sad you don't even know what school your daughter goes to," Hikaru remarked.

"I bet your relationship is messed up because you don't pay attention to her, not because of some stupid debt," Kaoru commented.

"Wow, Kyo-Chan I'm impressed that you figured out that he was at the wrong school," Honey commented.

"Well a daughter to a small time doctor could never get into Ouran Academy," Kyoya responded, to which I glared at him.

"Kyoya can you find me the maps to the nearest schools in the area. I'd like to help this man find his daughter," Tamaki requested.

"Whatever you say," Kyoya replied doing as Tamaki instructed.

**"Aww that was nice of Tamaki to help Yabu out," Tomuru praised.**

**"We found a map for Ouran Public High school and gave it to Yabu, to which he thanked us and went to find his daughter."**

"Are you sure about this? Even if he does find his daughter there's no guarantee that she'll want to speak with him?" the twins asked.

"Well then that's something he'll have to figure out himself," Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry about this you guys but could you please leave?" I told them.

"Haruhi you not still angry at me are you?" Tamaki said panicky.

"Don't be stupid Senpai I just have to complete my physical exam. As a male student of course…but let me explain I'm not doing this because you're bribing me with food. I'm doing it to repay my debt," I explained.

"YOU'RE SO CUTE!" Tamaki tackled me in a hug.

"I can see right through you I know you're just after that fancy tuna," Tamaki laughed.

"Not it off Senpai. Uh, hey, don't touch me there!" I snapped.

"Red card! Looks like Tamaki Senpai-"

"-Is the real pervert." The twins said.

"Who cares will you guys just get out of here!" I shouted.

**"The end," I finished.**

**"Where did he touch you exactly?" Tomuru asked.**

**"I'm not telling you that!"**

**"Was it your boob area?"**

**"…."**

**"Knew it! Freakin' perv."**

* * *

**Tomuru: Like my new scarf?**

**Haruhi: That's it take that snake from her before she kills us all.**

**Me: Got it.**

**Tomuru: Nooo doesn't take Desmond from me!**

**I carefully took the Cobra away from Tomuru and placed it in a spare pillow case, before calling a trained professional to take the snake away.**

**Me: There no one's gonna die today.**

**Tomuru: You guys never let me have anything.**


	10. Episode 4 Part 1

**Me: Hey Rossi you're not usually introducing the chapters.**

**Rossi: Yeah I'm standing in for Tommi cus she has a cold.**

**Me: So that's where I got it from! (sneezes)**

**Rossi: Don't give it to me! (covers face)**

**Me: Want to do the disclaimer in your favourite Hetalia character?**

**Rossi: Sweet! (does impression of Britain) Alright, everyone, this tosspot ****does not own this Japanese cartoon she's fond of. Enjoy!**

**Me: That was pretty good. As usual enjoy Lovelies :)**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Well I guess we're wearing Kimonos today I take it," I commented, looking around the Host club.

"Yep, yours is hanging up on one of the changing rooms," Haruhi said.

"I want to wear one too," Rossi piped up.

"No worries you have one too, yours is the light blue one with white flowers on it beside Tomo's," Haruhi assured.

"Sweet," Rossi cheered dashing to the changing area.

I followed after him and got my kimono that was hanging up. It was a purple kimono with green and red flowers. I also had a purple ribbon which the twins wanted me to put in my hair.

"Can you put this in my hair?" Rossi asked, once I was done changing.

"Sure thing," I replied tying the ribbon in a large bow in Rossi's hair.

"See gorgeous as always, let's head back," I commented.

When we returned Rossi went to the table Honey was sat at and I went to do my usual routine. Honey Senpai's usual guests adored my brother and loved how cute he looked in dresses. At first, the guests were confused about Rossi but as he and I explained they soon were fussing over him.

"Hello Tomo, you look so nice in that kimono," A regular guest to Tamaki commented.

"Thank you, would you like something sweet?" I responded politely.

"Strawberry cake please, your brother looks so cute with that bow in his hair," she said.

"I know I'd love to dress him up one day," Another guest agreed.

"I'm sure Rossi would love to be fussed by you ladies, so long as your dressing him in dresses," I replied cheerfully, loving how the girls don't judge him on his appearance.

"Haruhi you look so great in your kimono," I heard one of Haruhi's guests say.

"Almost like a girl," Another chipped in.

_Almost like a girl? Well, I suppose that bow in her hair make her look a bit feminine._

"Haruhi you booked another appointment. It seems like you've got a steady flow of guests recently keep up the good work. I'm not going to charge you interest like I normally would so keep this up and you should be able to pay it off. Though that rental fee on that kimono is nothing to sneeze at," Kyoya stated.

"He's like some heartless tax collector, bloody Shadow Lord," I whispered to Haruhi.

"Exactly what I thought," Haruhi agreed.

"Haru-Chan, Tomo-Chan," I heard Honey whimper behind us.

"What's wrong Honey Senpai?" I asked concerned.

"I don't know how but I lost one of my sandals," Honey cried, looking more childish than he usually does.

"Aww, it's alright I'm sure it hasn't gone far," I comforted.

"Mitskuni," Mori interjected taking Honey's foot and placing his lost sandal on it.

"Takashi," Honey spoke quietly.

"I noticed that you dropped it," Mori said.

"TAKASHI," Honey sobbed, hugging his taller friend.

"How sweet," One of the guests commented.

"Isn't it, though," Another sighed.

"It seemed a little dramatic; I mean it was just a sandal after all," I muttered, seeing a happier Honey chat to Rossi.

"Tears seem quite popular with the ladies today, most of the guys have been putting on the waterworks," I remarked.

"How are they able to cry so easily?" Haruhi wondered.

At that moment, Haruhi accidently knocked into Tweedledum, which made something dropped out of his sleeve. I picked up the little green bottle which read 'eye drops' upon further inspection.

"Explain yourselves Tweeds," I demanded, holding the bottle in front of them.

"For your information, it's common for a Host to use eye drops," Kaoru informed to the left of us.

"No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears," Hikaru added.

"This woman can," I interjected, raising my hand.

"You're not a woman your Doggie," The twins said.

"Well, I never," I gasped in fake shock, holding up an imaginary handbag.

"Eye drops are cheating," Haruhi said.

"Oh don't be such a party pooper," Hikaru poked Haruhi's cheek.

"Here Haruhi this is for you," Kaoru said handing Haruhi a pink sweet.

"It's for me?" Haruhi questioned.

"Aren't you the cutest," The twins cooed in unison.

"I didn't know you liked sweets Haruhi," One of the girls commented.

"Well, to be honest, ladies she's more into cake and cookies than sweets," I piped up.

"Yeah but ya know it might be a nice memorial offering for my mother," Haruhi said wistfully, making the ladies blush and go into their 'Moe mode'.

"How admiral of you. Such devotion to your mother's memory. Please, Haruhi take as many as you like," Tamaki interjected dramatically, making a pyramid of sweets on Haruhi's open hands.

"Let me guess the tears are fake?" Haruhi remarked, unfazed my Tamaki's usual eccentricity.

"How could you? My tears are always genuine Haruhi, to be able to cry without the use of 'eye drops' is a mark of a true Host," Tamaki said offended before adding suavely, "Tell me do I impress you? Have you fallen for me yet?"

"Yes," I stage whispered.

"No, you wish," Haruhi answered hitting me on the arm.

"Looks like the Host club has a brand new guest," The twins remarked.

"Huh?" I looked over to where the Hosts were looking to see a shy girl with a large pink bow peeking by the doorframe.

"Come on in watching from afar is no fun. Please miss," The twins spoke to her like they do their guests, holding roses.

"Stop that how many times have I told you two to be more courteous to our first-time guests," Tamaki disapproved, holding a rose himself.

_Bloody philanderers._

"Please, you don't have to be afraid my princess. I welcome you to the Host Club," Tamaki spoke to her suavely, like he usually spoke to girls.

When she hesitantly opened her mouth to speak Tamaki try to be encouraging.

"Yes?" he said softly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU'RE PHONY!" The girl screeched slapping Tamaki in the face.

_Holy macaroni I didn't see that coming!_

"What do you mean I'm phony?" I heard Tamaki's muffled whimpers through his hand, which was holding his injured face.

"Just as I said you're phony. I find it hard to believe someone like you is the prince character of this Host Club. You can't go spreading your love around that you stupid. You must be a dim-witted narcissist, you're incompetent, you're a commoner, you're disgusting," She ranted venomously, to which Tamaki was hit by lightning after every insult.

"Whoa, he's created a new technique," Hikaru started.

"One man slow motion," Kaoru finished as Tamaki did a dramatic slow motion fall.

_Did she just call Tamaki a 'commoner' and did Tamaki take it as an insult? _

"I don't suppose you are…" Kyoya intervened.

"It's you Kyoya! Oh, how I've longed to meet you, my one and only prince charming," Renge squealed delightedly running to Kyoya and hugging him.

"Em did I step into a soap opera here?" I asked, mainly to myself.

"Please, every time we're here it feels like a drama," Haruhi responded.

* * *

**Me: Seems like Tomuru has risen from the dead because she wanted to do her favourite country impression.**

**Haruhi wheels in Tomuru's bed with a pale, half-dead Tomo inside covered in snot. **

**Tomuru (in croaky voice): Pastaaaa '**_cough' 'cough' 'cough'_

**Me: Very nice now get that infected zombie outta here before my cold gets worse.**

**Haruhi: Will do '**_sneezes'_ **oh no**


	11. Episode 4 Part 2

**Me: Hello Lovelies thanks for all these reviews that have popped up recently.**

**Tomuru: Back from the dead!**

**Me: I'm guessing you don't have a cold now**

**Tomuru: Yep ready to wreak havoc once more**

**Me: What havoc are you wreaking today?**

**Tomuru: You shall see... Muhahaha**

**Me: Well look forward to that lovelies...I think**

* * *

"You're fiancé?"

"Kyoya Senpai?"

"Of course, my name is Renge Houshakuji and I'm transferring into Ouran Academy's first-year class A tomorrow," The girl introduced.

I finished cleaning after the guest's leftovers and sat with the Hosts, curious about this new girl. Tamaki was in his dark aura in the corner, which was probably due to still feeling insulted by Renge's opinion about him.

"Why's he sulking?" Hikaru asked.

"Cus Mommy was keeping a secret from Daddy," I answered cheekily.

"Whatever why does everyone insist on referring to us as husband and wife?" Kyoya sighed

"Cus it's funny," I quipped.

"Oh, it was a story of love at first sight. I couldn't resist the way you adoring those flowers when you thought no one else was looking. Or when you reached to that poor, little-injured kitten," Renge interjected.

"Is she serious?" the twins scoffed.

"Do you think you may have the wrong person?" Haruhi inquired reasonably.

"No way I can recognise my love anywhere!" Renge snapped before continuing to babble, "He's a gentle soul that is kind to everyone but asks for nothing in return. He likes solitude but sometimes he gets lonely. He looks like the popular dating sim from Ooki Doki Memorial. You're my real life Ichijo Miabi."

When she was talking the twins ran around yelling for her to stop, whilst Haruhi, Mori and Honey had blank, confused stares. I was laughing at that description of Kyoya.

"Ooki?" Haruhi asked.

"Doki?" Honey questioned.

"OTAKU?" Tamaki and Hikaru exclaimed.

"I've never seen one?" Kaoru exclaimed.

"I get it now. You're in love with that character; you projected that love onto me and somehow deluded yourself that we're engaged. I assume this Miabi character probably wears glasses as well," Kyoya stated calmly.

"So she made it up you're not really her fiancé right?" Tamaki asked.

"Well no I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage. Besides this is the first time I've ever met the woman," Kyoya answered.

"You could've said something sooner," I muttered.

"According to my research you're in charge of managing the club isn't that true Kyoya?" Renge said excitedly.

"That's right Kyo-Chan's our director," Honey confirmed.

"You're the club's director that's perfect. Oh wow, I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a business," Renge stated excitedly.

"We don't advertise we're just a Host Club," The twins corrected.

"I've made up my mind from now on I'm going to be the manager of this Host Club," Renge continued ignoring the twin's comments.

"Um, listen Kyoya," Tamaki started worriedly.

"Miss Houshakuji is the only daughter of a very important family client. So please be polite and try not to offend her alright," Kyoya stated.

"Well, boys I can't wait to work with you," Renge spoke happily.

**The next day at the Host Club…**

There weren't any guests today (except for Rossi of course) so we mainly planned on Host Club activities and our opinions on having a new manager.

"I've thought about it a lot last night and maybe having a lady manager might not be such a bad idea," Tamaki began sharing his opinion.

"Why do you say that?" the twins asked.

"Well it's fairly obvious isn't it Renge has just transferred into the same class as Haruhi. So if Haruhi had a girlfriend around it can bring out the female within her. Renge's girly air of tenderness can bring out Haruhi's own femininity."

"_Good grief," _Both Haruhi and I thought internally.

"Now is our chance to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side this is an important project man. She doesn't have anyone in class right now except for those two shady twins, that's no good for her," Tamaki continued.

"Like you have room to talk," The Tweeds scoffed.

"Hey everyone you'll be happy to know that your new manager Renge has baked all of you some cookies," Renge greeted as she entered the clubroom.

"Cookies?" I perked up alert.

"Isn't she ladylike? I am so moved by your generosity," Tamaki commented in his usual dramatic tone.

"I didn't bake these cookies for you, phony prince," Renge shot down, which of course led to Tamaki going into his dark aura.

"I'm sorry I've burnt them a little bit I did the best I could. And I know exactly what you're going to say," Renge spoke nicely to Kyoya offering him the cookies.

"How are hearts coming out of her hair?" I mused to myself.

"Aw, you're always so sweet to me Kyoya," She squealed delightedly.

"He didn't say anything she just daydreamed a bit," Rossi whispered to me in confusion.

"Something tells me she's kooky enough to fit in with this club," I predicted.

"She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burned," I hear Honey say whilst eating one.

"Don't eat that Mitskuni it's bad for you," Mori advised.

This made Renge angry and soon she was chasing poor Honey and Mori around the clubroom with her hair now resembling snakes for some reason.

Haruhi and I tried a cookie each whilst Renge was busy scaring Honey.

"There not that bad at all they've gotta good flavour to them," Haruhi commented.

"Cookie," I mumbled contently, snatching the bag away from Haruhi.

"May I try?" Hikaru asked Haruhi softly, before taking a seductive bite out of the cookie Haruhi was currently eating.

"Uh oh Haruhi, you've got crumbs on your face," Kaoru said softly, bending down to lick Haruhi's face where the crumbs were.

Both of them promptly putting me off from eating any more cookies as I now felt like vomiting.

"DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY JUST DID HE JUST TOOK A BITE OUT OF HER COOKIE AND BLA BLAA INCOHERENT YELLING….!" Tamaki yelled, I couldn't catch all of what he said.

"And suddenly the trio of classmates are closer than they ever been before," Kyoya spoke over Tamaki.

"Rossi tell me your pure innocent eyes didn't just witness that?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, they did and now I'm scarred for life. I may never eat cookies again," Rossi muttered.

"OW hey what was that for?" the twins moaned after I thwacked them both upside the head.

"You scarred my little brother and now he can't eat cookies and for acting like perverts with my best friend," I answered.

"Ya know you could've just told me and I would have wiped it off. And if you wanted some sugar has plenty with her," Haruhi remarked.

"THAT'S NOT THE WAY YOU'RE MEANT TO ACT HARUHI. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND REJECT THEM BEFORE CASUALLY BRUSHING THEM OFF TO THE SIDE DO YOU UNDERSTAND…" Tamaki exclaimed, holding Haruhi's face.

"This is sexual harassment Senpai," Haruhi stated.

"SEXUAL HARASSMENT? IF THAT COUNTS AS SEXUAL HARASSMENT THEN THEY'RE TWICE AS GUILTY SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!" Tamaki continued to shout, I was starting to get a headache.

"Cut it out boss we're sorry," The twins interjected.

"EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS ARE LUKEWARM! Each of you needs to have some sort of dark side do you understand? Girls are vulnerable to young men who are trouble; if you keep carrying on like this it's only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming altogether. Are you trying to run my precious Kyoya's business? As your manager, it is my duty to change your character backgrounds let's start with you!" Renge ranted pointing to Honey.

"If only you are as cute as inside as you are out then you're no different than a baby. So from now on you are the Baby-faced Thug," Renge announced, making Honey cry.

"And Mori Senpai you are his childhood friend the Flunky. The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world. Haruhi you are an Honour student who's constantly being bullied. And as for you Tamaki you're the school idol who's admired for his good looks but actually has an inferiority complex he's hiding from the world, the Lonely Prince," Renge changed each of the Host's character background.

"And Kyoya you perfect just the way you are now. So I want you to be as kind and as affectionate as ever kay?" Renge added sweetly.

"Thank you I'm honoured," Kyoya responded.

"The Lonely Prince, it's true that title is perfect for me," Tamaki stated, in a random dramatic spotlight.

"Yeah right she couldn't have been farther from the truth," Haruhi scoffed.

"You're not really getting bullied right Dearest?" I asked.

"Of course not Sugar, I would've told ya otherwise," Haruhi answered.

"Good just checking."

"Hold on, how come you don't need a character change?" Haruhi protested.

"Cus I'm not a Host and I am awesome just the way I am," I replied smugly.

"Come on Kyoya Senpai."

"You've gotta do something," Hikaru and Kaoru urged.

"Why it seems like the boss is up for it," Kyoya pointed in the direction where Tamaki was posing.

"How does this look Renge? Do you think these poses work for a Lonely Prince?" Tamaki asked posing theatrically.

"Oh wow you're pretty good at that Tamaki. But you know what would be even more effective if you were standing in the rain," Renge suggested.

"Let's just see how this turns out I bet it will be interesting, it always is," Kyoya stated.

"Don't think you're going to miss out Tomuru. I have the perfect character for you," Renge told me.

"What? But I'm not a Host, I don't need changing I'm delightful," I protested.

"You shall be Haruhi's friend who defends him when he's bullied…"

"Oh, that doesn't sound so bad."

"But you're secretly madly in love with him!" Renge finished.

_Spoke to soon._

"…Wait what?" Haruhi and I exclaimed.

* * *

**Me: Well I guess Tomo disappeared to wreak havoc as promised.**

**Haruhi: _(pants)_ run. away. now.**

**Me: Why? What happened? What's your ridiculous friend done?**

**Haruhi: Tomo did this? Yeah, she's gonna get murdered.**

**Me: Why? **

**Haruhi: Let's just say Kyoya Senpai's angry. Crap he's coming! I am not getting involved.**

**Me: Kyoya what's she done?**

**Kyoya: Someone has stolen my black book and if the culprit hasn't returned it things are going to be very unpleasant.**

**Me: Tomuru's probably took it, she said she was going to wreak havoc.**

**Kyoya: Well when I find her she's going to regret her actions.**

**Me: Well see your lovelies next time. Ya know if Kyoya doesn't kill off the Protagonist.**


	12. Episode 4 Part 3

**Me: This chapter was fun do write personally. Thanks as always lovelies**

**Tomuru comes and lies on my bed with a massive purple bump on her head.**

**Me: So I guess Kyoya got his revenge and his black notebook back.**

**Tomuru: Kyoya didn't hit me Haruhi did.**

**Me: There are a number of reasons why Haruhi would hit you. Please specify which reason it is.**

**Tomuru: Cus Kyoya rose the amount of debt that we have to pay back.**

**Me: Should have known**

* * *

**Author's Narration**

**I'm gonna be narrating this chapter today lovelies as Tomuru will be busy being an actress.**

Hikaru smiled widely to the crowds of high-pitched cheering girls, showboating as he scored a point for his team.

"Get a stretcher take him to the infirmary immediately!" Hikaru heard his basketball coach demand.

When Hikaru saw that the player, the coach was referring to, was his own twin brother he ran to his aid. _(Cue dramatic music)._

"Kaoru… Kaoru, Kaoru!" Hikaru spoke urgently concerned for his brother's physical state.

"You've got to get back in the game Hikaru," Coach insisted.

"Shut up!" Hikaru snapped at him.

"Hikaru…listen to me please don't worry. There's nothing you can do you can't share my pain. You're not the one that got hurt. Now go on," Kaoru spoke weakly up to Hikaru, cupping on hand on Hikaru's cheek.

"I can't! it hurts, it hurts Kaoru!" Hikaru cried, holding Kaoru's outstretched hand.

"Your pain is my pain. It doesn't matter to me if no one else understands. As long as we've got each other we can go on living," Renge narrated as the scene was cut to Tamaki standing in the rain.

"I'm sorry but I'm envious, the way you two support each other like that," Tamaki told the twins solemnly.

"But Suoh Senpai…" Hikaru started.

"How can you be envious of us you're the school's idol?" Kaoru finished in surprise.

"An idol, right?" Tamaki scoffed flipping his fringe from his face before continuing with the tone of angst, "I hate that people all worship me for something so superficial as my appearance I think it'll be much better for me to be alone."

"One lonely heart meets another. They pass each other, wounding one another. What are the hearts of these poor men made of?" Renge narrated.

The scene transitioned to Haruhi running through some trees, before leaning on one to catch her breath.

"You can't run away forever," Honey told her in a harsh, to which Haruhi slid done to the floor in defeat.

"I'm going to show you what happens to anyone that crosses me," Honey continued threatening.

"Don't do it Mitskuni. You should have realised by now that when you hurt others you're really hurting yourself," Mori advised.

"I didn't ask you for your advice. Do you want me to put you over my knee again?" Honey spoke to Mori irritably.

"Will it be the light of salvation that ultimately awaits these boys or will it be something else?" Renge narrated.

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know they're placed," Honey remarked in an intimidating tone.

Just then Honey cracked under pressure and got out of character, returning to his adorable boy Lolita self.

"I'M SO SORRY HARU-CHAN I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Honey cried, chucking himself at Haruhi, to which she hugged Honey.

"CUT! CUT, CUT, CUT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'VE GOT TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT!" Renge screeched, her snake hair making an appearance again.

"But I can't," Honey whimpered.

"Stop rolling cameraman," Renge demanded.

"Yes, Boss," The cameraman obliged.

"Aw man my part was coming up," Tomuru moaned, seated in one of the 'actors' chairs.

"I didn't think Honey had an intimidating bone in him?" Rossi spoke in slight surprise.

Both siblings were eating popcorn whilst Tomuru waited for her turn to act.

"Me neither. I think I prefer Honey as his cute, cake eating self," Tomo said.

"Definitely," Rossi agreed.

"Let's just continue with the next scene. Tomuru you're up!" Renge called to Tomuru.

"Yes, my turn in the spotlight. This is going to be so fun! Come along Dearest!" Tomuru rambled excitedly.

"Break a leg sis," Rossi called out to her.

"Ok everyone in position? Ready and ACTION!" Renge cued.

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know their place," Honey repeated his line in the same bully manner.

From the rain, Tomuru ran and placed herself between Haruhi and Honey.

"You will not touch my Dearest," She told Honey dramatically.

"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it girly?" Honey sneered.

"Love can conquer any foe. I would rather die than let my Dearest Haruhi get hurt," Tomuru continued, however finding it difficult to suppress a smile at the ridiculous lines she had rehearsed.

"Are you in love with Haruhi?" Honey scoffed.

Before answering Tomuru looked down at Haruhi, who herself was also suppressing a smirk, before answering Honey.

"Yes alright, it's true! I'm in love with Haruhi Fujioka!" Tomuru expressed, overly dramatic before adding.

"Though I dunno why I mean look at him. Even when he's at a posh rich school he's still a little nerd. Ya know what I think I'm over this crush thing. I'm off to find me a more suitable mate. Maybe one who can dance because this little dude certainly can't," Tomuru spoke lightly before walking back the way she came.

"CUT! WHAT WAS THAT? THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!" Renge yelled.

"Improv?" Tomuru answered smiling.

Rossi, Haruhi, the twins and Honey were all in fits of laughter; even Mori and Kyoya were smirking.

"Enough! We are retaking this scene until you get it right! Get into position Tomuru!" Renge demanded, not pleased at all.

"Take 2,"

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know they're placed," Honey recited the line once again.

"Right listen here, you little ragamuffin. You leave my baby alone before I give ya a punch up the bracket capiche?" Tomuru told Honey in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, stroking Haruhi's hair.

"CUT! AGAIN TAKE 3!"

"Look over there cake!" Tomuru gasped before grabbing Haruhi's hand and running away, laughing manically.

"TAKE 4!"

This time, Tomuru didn't get to say any lines (improvised or scripted) as she slipped on the muddy grass, made muddy by the artificial rain, which made her backside muddy and her laughter contagious.

"TAKE 5!"

"You….will….not…..hurt….man I'm unfit….my….Dearest." Tomuru panted, acting like she was out of breath (truth be told she was a little from laughing too much).

"RIGHT THAT'S IT CUT! WILL STOP THERE UNTIL TOMURU GETS HER ACT TOGETHER AND TAKES THIS THING SERIOUSLY!" Renge shouted, extremely annoyed that Tomuru was wasting time.

"Sugar getting her act together? That'll be the day when pigs fly," Haruhi scoffed.

"Come on I never take anything the Host Club does seriously," Tomuru remarked.

"Nice performance out there Doggie," Hikaru started.

"You do know this is more of an angst movie than a comedy right?" Kaoru finished.

"With your acting how could I possibly tell the difference?" She back chatted.

"Nice comeback," Haruhi commented high fiving me.

"Thanks."

"How did it go from changing our characters to shooting a movie about them?" Hikaru wondered.

"Why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?" Haruhi asked.

"Apparently she flew them in from Hollywood. Don't you recognize the director? He directed the vampire movie, Millennial Snow. It was the number one box office hit in America last year," Kyoya informed.

"Damn these rich people," Haruhi and Tomuru simultaneously thought.

"And another thing how come this stupid script portrays Kaoru as the pitcher?" Hikaru demanded.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed.

"What does that mean?" Haruhi asked.

"If you don't know never mind," The twins said.

"Pitcher?"

"I think it's a name of one of the players in basketball. Ya know like there's a goalkeeper for football?" Tomuru guessed.

"Haruhi, so how was I? Did you like my performance?" Tamaki asked, seeking Haruhi's opinion.

"It was pretty awesome. I'm surprised you can get into your character like that you were really believable," Haruhi answered, handing Tamaki a towel.

"I discovered a new darker side to myself. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to explore it," Tamaki said cheerfully.

"Are you sure about that? Because I think you're fine just the way you are now Senpai," Haruhi told him.

"You do? Well if you say so Haruhi," Tamaki said bashfully, his cheeks going red.

"Hey, Haruhi you're on," Renge called.

"Coming," Haruhi replied heading to where she was needed.

"Am I needed in this scene Miss Manager?" Tomuru asked cheekily, knowing full well it will annoy Renge.

"No!" Renge snapped at her.

"You two are so cute ya know?" Tomuru told Tamaki.

"Huh?"

"You and Haruhi, I'm shipping you guys," Tomuru explained herself, making Tamaki go even redder.

"What's shipping?" the twins asked Tomuru, appearing on either end.

"_If you don't know never mind,_" Tomuru mimicked the twins from their earlier comment, which irritated them.

Suddenly a crash sounded from where Haruhi was meant to be.

"What was that? Is dearest being clumsy again?" Tomuru thought as followed Tamaki to where the crash was heard.

"What happened Haruhi…?" Tamaki began to ask before he froze at what looked like Haruhi crying.

When Tomuru caught up with him, she immediately rushed to Haruhi, whilst Tamaki had one of the two boys pinned to the wall.

"Hey, you OK Dearest?" Tomuru asked, helping Haruhi up, to which Haruhi nodded.

"So which one of you jerks started this?" Tamaki snarled.

"Wait for Suoh it's not what you think. That girl started it she was giving us a hard time," The unpinned boy explained.

"He's telling the truth Senpai. It wasn't their fault they were provoked," Haruhi sighed.

Tamaki unpinned the other male student and went up to Haruhi, the boys made a getaway while they could.

"Haruhi are you in any pain?" Tamaki asked in concern, holding her face gently.

"Yeah, it's my contact," Haruhi said holding it on her finger.

"Your contact?" Tamaki muttered.

"Yeah I guess it must've slipped out," Haruhi commented lightly.

"We thought it was something serious you moron," Tomuru remarked, punching Haruhi's arm lightly.

"I see how it is. You are able to cry without the use of eye drops. So you're a full-fledged Host now," Tamaki laughed.

"You, you, please tell me you got that cameraman," Renge spoke up.

"Yes, boss."

"Other than Haruhi's contact falling out that was an ideal final scene. All it needs now is a moving narration by my sweet Kyoya," Renge stated passionately.

At that moment, Kyoya hit a rock against the camera, which caused the lens to break.

"Well, that was unexpected," Tomuru muttered.

"What did you do to my camera?" the cameraman exclaimed.

"What? Is something wrong?" Renge asked innocently.

"I'm terribly sorry but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I think you've caused enough trouble around here Renge please stop being such a pest," Kyoya stated firmly.

"Oooh brutal," Tomuru winced quietly.

"A pest…But you were supposed to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry. You were supposed to be kind and affectionate Kyoya. Why are you acting so differently now tell me why?" Renge sobbed.

"Because that's not the real Kyoya," Tamaki answered.

"…What the hell kinda answer is that?" Tomuru whispered to herself.

Renge fell to her knees and cried, Tomuru nodded to Haruhi to use her consoling magic to comfort Renge.

"Does it really matter? Who cares if Kyoya is a little different to how you expected him to be? Take a good look at the person inside and get to know him little by little. It's a lot more fun that way," Haruhi comforted, crouching down to her level.

"Dearest always knows exactly what to say to cheer people up," Tomuru muttered smiling.

**The Next Day at the Host Club…**

"Hello, ladies come on in," Tamaki greeted.

"I bought the video of that film you made," One guest said.

"I did too," Another added.

"And so did I."

"You did?" Tamaki said in surprise.

"The scene in the rain was just phenomenal," One guest gushed.

"I loved the Lonely Prince."

"And the loving relationship between Hikaru and Kaoru was so sweet."

This lead to all of the guests gushing and gossiping about the film.

"Kyoya?" Tamaki inquired.

"I may have broken the camera's lens but the footage we'd already shot wasn't damaged. Although naturally I cut out that one violent scene. Sales have been pretty good so far. That Hollywood film crew did a fantastic job although that was to be expected," Kyoya explained.

"So is this what you meant by interesting?" the twins accused.

"It's best to have as much money as we can in the club's budget," Kyoya stated.

"Since when did he start calculating all of this?" Haruhi pondered.

"I didn't know you had such strong feelings towards Haruhi, Tomuru?" One of Haruhi's guests teased.

"Don't get any ideas ladies I'm just a good actress," Tomuru warned.

"I'm not sure anyone is that good of an actress. The secrets out now," Another said, which then led to gossip about Tomuru fancying Haruhi.

"No ladies just platonic best… oh, I give up let them think what they like," Tomuru spoke in defeat.

"I'm sure they'll get over it," Haruhi reassured.

"Yeah right…Did you cut out my silly acts Kyoya?" I asked.

"I took them out of the main film but they are in the outtakes," He answered.

"Good day everyone," Renge greeted.

"Renge? But I thought you went back to France already?" Tamaki remarked in confusion.

"I can't believe I realised this sooner it was chivalrous to risk your life to protect me. I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people. When you said it was fun to get to know people little by little you were talking about me," Renge spoke to Haruhi sweetly, holding Haruhi's hand.

"Uh…yeah," Haruhi muttered hesitantly.

"Come on Haruhi let's go play together. I think it's time you got to know me better," Renge said dragging Haruhi away.

"Wait what?" Haruhi exclaimed.

"Hey Kyoya Senpai you okay with that?" the twins asked.

"Why wouldn't I be everything Renge just said is true?" Kyoya stated.

"NO IT ISN'T!" Tamaki shouted.

"I thought you said you wanted her to have a female friend in the first place Daddy?" Tomuru interjected, finding this situation amusing.

"WELL YEAH A FEMALE COMPANION NOT A GIRLFRIEND!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Come on Haruhi let's go play together."

"WAIT DON'T TAKE HARUHI FROM ME!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Looks like you have some competition Tomuru. I guess Renge fancies Haruhi as well as you," One of Haruhi's regular guests piped up.

This made Renge freeze in her tracks as she heard the girl's comment.

"What did you just say?" Renge demanded.

"Tomuru's head over heels for Haruhi," Another guest informed.

"Is this true?" Renge seethed at Tomuru.

"Wait a minute they only think that cus you…" Tomuru began defending.

"TOMURU OKIRO FROM NOW ON YOU'RE MY ENEMY!" Renge screeched before stomping off.

"What? Oh come on I don't need another one I already have Bernard," Tomuru whined.

"Look what I've got," Rossi sang.

"Great you have a copy of that film too?"

"Uh huh," Rossi confirmed waving the DVD at his big sister.

"Things are gonna get harder for you huh Sugar?"

"It appears so Dearest, it appears so."

* * *

**Me: So have you learned your lesson**

**Tomuru: Yes I won't steal anything from Kyoya Senpai again.**

**Me: She can be taught!**

**Tomuru: The other Hosts on the other hand...**

**Me: And she's plotting once again (_sigh)_**


	13. Episode 5 Part 1

**Me: Sooo sorry for posting so late lovelies! Promise to update the next chapter sooner.**

**Tomuru: Yeah you better I'm not that patient!**

**Me: That does not surprise me in the slightest.**

**DISCLAIMER: as always I do not own anything of OHSHC**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Let's all play the which one is Hikaru Game!" the twins chorused to their guests, wearing identical green flat caps.

"Don't you think that name is kinda wordy?" I asked replacing an empty teapot with a refilled pot.

"What you think you can think of a better name?" Hikaru scoffed.

"Challenge accepted!" I declared.

"Sooo can you tell which one is Hikaru and which one is Kaoru?" the twins asked their guests.

"It's hard to say, you're identical," One guest spoke up.

"Many ladies have tried to tell us apart but so far none has succeeded."

"That's the dumbest game I ever heard of," Haruhi muttered as she walked passed.

"What about Twinki Donk?" I interjected.

"Oh yeah, the second dumbest game then," Haruhi corrected.

"What you have a problem with it Haruhi?" the twins protested.

"Not really I just don't see why you two are so popular," Haruhi responded.

"Aww don't be so mean," I scorned lightly.

"I'm disappointed," Tweedledum commented.

"Apparently you don't understand the merits of having a pair of twins at the Host Club," Tweedledee remarked.

"Listen up having a pair of good looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns the club high points. It also helps when the two struggle with their attraction and their friendship," Hikaru began explaining.

"In our case, since we're twins, our relationship is taboo and, therefore, more intriguing," Kaoru added.

"Twincest!" I coughed.

_Do they really need to do those ridiculously promiscuous poses whilst they explain their worth?_

"And besides who hasn't fantasised about twins having two loves is better than one don't you think?" Hikaru flirted standing beside one of his seated guests.

"It's a young women's romantic fantasy," Kaoru flirted to the guest on the other side.

"Um yeah, you're right… I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!" the guest answered, as she and two other guests go into squealy, heart eyes mode (which I'm gonna call 'Moe Mode' from now on).

The twins were looking smugly towards Haruhi.

"Certainly not my fantasy," I muttered.

"By the way, what's Twinki Donk?" Kaoru inquired.

"Well…"

"Don't ask," Haruhi interrupted.

"Rude Dearest." I accused, before going over to Honey's table.

"You seem to be very chatty about something Rossi," I noted.

"Yeah, I…"

"HIKARU, KAORU! WHEN I GAVE YOU CONTROL OF THE CLUB'S WEBSITE I DID SO ON ONE CONDITION THAT YOU TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!" Tamaki shouted, interrupting Rossi.

"We take our job very seriously Boss," Hikaru stated, unruffled by Tamaki's outburst.

"In fact last night we worked on it till dawn," Kaoru supplied.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE?" Tamaki shouted revealing a laptop from thin air.

"Ok I've gotta see this," I commented, heading to see what the Tweeds have done this time.

I froze when I saw that there was a picture of Haruhi half-naked with her back to the screen.

"You look great Haru-Chan," Honey commented.

"You've got some splaining to do you perverted Tweeds," I seethed staring daggers at the twins, whilst some of the guests gathered round the laptop eagerly.

Haruhi herself was grey with shock at the time, smoke coming from her mouth.

"Tell me when!" Tamaki demanded.

"Huh?"

"WHEN DID YOU TAKE NAKED PICTURES OF HARUHI?" Tamaki shouted.

"THEY DID WHAT?" Rossi exclaimed, rushing over to where I stood.

"You bribed her didn't you?" Tamaki whimpered.

"You're imagining things it's obvious the photo's been altered," Kaoru stated.

"It was photoshopped?" Tamaki muttered.

"Oooh well, that's alright then," Rossi shrugged.

"We've got some major Photoshopping talent," Hikaru said.

"Still doesn't excuse you from creating creepy pictures of my best friend," I seethed.

"Don't worry Doggie we didn't leave you out," Hikaru responded ruffling my hair.

"Beg ya pardon?"

Then they retrieved the laptop and showed me the Photoshopped picture they created of me. It was basically my head on a St Bernard dog body.

"If you made a gross picture of my… HAHAHAHAHAHA" Rossi burst into laughter at the sight of my new look, I shortly joined him.

"Alright, your forgiven. Can I get a copy of that?" I laughed.

"Sure," The twins agreed, pleased at the response given.

"YOU IDIOTS THAT IS A WASTE OF YOUR SKILLS HAVE YOU NO SHAME?" Tamaki exclaimed before sheepishly adding, "But if you're going to do it anyway can you Photoshop Haruhi into this Idol Photobook?"

"Don't be ridiculous Boss," Hikaru sighed.

"Why don't you just ask her to wear one of those fancy dressy things instead of being a creep?" I suggested.

"I never thought to ask her," Tamaki muttered, before walking up to Haruhi.

"What do you think of this, my dear?" Tamaki inquired to Haruhi in his Princely style, holding up a dress that he somehow plucked from mid-air. Kyoya must have taught Tamaki some of his shadow magic ways.

"Not now you idiot the guests are definitely going to realize by now!" I derided quietly face palming.

"What are you doing with that dress?" Honey asked.

_My thoughts exactly!_

"He looks so handsome," One of Haruhi's guests sighed, she and three other guests retrieved the laptop and continued gawking at Haruhi's picture.

"Yeah but I'd have to agree with Tamaki I'd love to see what Haruhi looked like if he dressed as a girl," Another piped in.

"Oh he's so cute I'm sure he'll look great no matter what you put him in," the third guest flattered.

Haruhi snapped out of her frozen state and glared at Tamaki, which made him cry and back away from her.

_Are the girls at this school really THAT oblivious? I mean I would definitely know something's hidden from me by now. Uh! _

"Now cut it out! No more making weird pictures of me you got that? Just what do you guys take me for anyway?" Haruhi stated firmly.

"Isn't that obvious? You're our toy," The twins answered mischievously.

"Dearest look," I handed her the picture the twin's printed out for me.

"Hahahaha you're looking furtastic Sugar," Haruhi laughed.

"Was that a pun?" I demanded.

"Yep!"

"As we were saying in order to entertain one's self in this otherwise boring life…"

"One must find himself stimulating toys."

"I am not your toy okay!" Haruhi snapped at the twins.

"You want a toy?" a mysterious voice spoke out, which came from a random dark door.

"Toys…toys, if you like toys then you should come and visit my black magic club. We've opened a marketplace that boasts black magic items from across the globe. We're also holding mass around the clock. If you come and visit now I'll even throw in a free curse doll, you could have Belsanaff as your free gift," The voice persuaded, which came from a cloaked figure peeking out the door with a cream cat puppet on his hand.

"The cat puppet kinda offsets the creepy vibe the dude's trying to pull off," I commented.

"This is Belsanaff the cursed puppet and is not to be taken lightly," The cloaked dude insisted.

"Riiight."

"Why is he talking to us through a crack in the door?" Haruhi wondered.

"Hang on has that door always been there?" the twins asked.

"Nekosowa Senpai likes to hide he doesn't really care for brightly lit places," Kyoya explained.

"Don't get involved with that guy Haruhi, Tomuru. If you do you will end up being cursed," Tamaki warned whispering behind us.

"Do you have any basis for that?" Haruhi asked nervously.

"Yes, it happened during the final exams at the end of the last school year. It's terrifying just to talk about it," Tamaki shuddered before continuing to tell his story, "On that faithful day I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekosawa's cursed doll Belsanaff. Afterwards, I took my exam but the entire test was written in some strange lettering. I looked at the others around me for help and realised I knew none of them. I WAS ALL ALONE IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION!"

"Scary!" Honey whimpered.

"Did that really happen to you?" Haruhi asked uneasily.

"That only happened because you were so scared you accidentally walked into the beginning Greek class and took their exam," Kyoya informed.

"NO IT WAS A CURSE! I KNOW BECAUSE THREE DAYS LATER I WOKE UP AND MY LEGS WERE AS HEAVY AS LEAD JUST HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?" Tamaki argued.

"Your legs were heavy because you ran a marathon the day before remember?" Kyoya explained that rather well.

"You shouldn't underestimate the dark power of Belsanaff the curse doll. All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on his back. Then that person is certain to come face to face with…misfortune," Nekosowa interjected.

"Really? Does it work on ducks?" I asked eagerly.

"Why would you want to use it on a duck?" Nekosowa inquired in confusion.

"Cus I have a certain duck and his gang might need a bit of misfortune for once," I answered.

Before Nekosowa could answer my request the twins shone a torch on his face.

"YOU MURDERERS!" Nekosowa shrieked zig-zagging towards his black door.

"Aww man!" I sighed.

"How on earth could you do such a thing obviously you two don't know the terror of black magic," Tamaki exclaimed.

"Uh, I am so bored," Hikaru sighed; both twins were now sitting looking out of the window.

"Isn't there anything fun we can do?" Kaoru sighed.

"My dignity as the club's leader is being ignored," Tamaki whined dramatically, going into his dark aura facing the wall.

"Hey Haruhi, Doggie we've got a favour to ask you?" the twins called over to us.

"Yeah, Tweeds?" I answered.

"What is it?" Haruhi asked.

"The next time we get a day off..." Hikaru began.

"Can we come over to either your place or Tomo's?" Kaoru requested.

"Why would you want to do that?" Haruhi asked skeptically.

"We're curious we want to see where you live," The twins answered.

"No way," Haruhi stated firmly.

"Aww pretty please," The twins pleaded.

"No way. You guys are just gonna make fun of me."

"No matter how much we beg you."

"No way."

"I to think it's time we pay our respects to our beloved Haruhi's family," Tamaki interjected dramatically.

"No way in hell Senpai," Haruhi responded bluntly, making Tamaki return to his dark aura.

"You haven't answered yet Doggie," Kaoru said.

"I feel like my dearest wants me to say no?" I answered unsurely, seeing Haruhi shake her head at me.

"Yeah I don't want them fondling one another anywhere near my home," Rossi interjected.

"Good point I don't want to sterilise everywhere you perform your 'brotherly love act'," I agreed.

"We can settle this with a game. If you can't pick out which one of us is Hikaru the penalty will be the two of us coming to your house later tonight. Then tomorrow we'll go to Doggie's place," The twins suggested, putting on their green flat caps again.

"Ok so which one of us is Hikaru?" the twins asked after they changed sides.

"Tweedledum on my right, Tweedledee on my left," I pointed to each twin.

"I agree this one's Kaoru, this one's Hikaru," Haruhi agreed.

"Uh oh you both got it wrong!" the twins sang cheerfully.

"No I know I'm right. You two may look alike but you're very different," Haruhi differed, which shocked the twins.

"How did you do that Haruhi? When they wear those hats to cover up which way they part their hair it's practically impossible to tell which one is Hikaru and which one is Kaoru," A guest with short hair asked.

"How can you tell them apart?" Another guest with a purple ribbon inquired.

"Hmm well, how can I put it? It's kinda difficult to explain. But Hikaru's speech and actions make him come across a little more mischievous than Kaoru," Haruhi explained.

"I'm sorry Hikaru I don't mean to laugh," Kaoru broke into laughter.

"Well, I don't see what's so funny? I'm honest, I speak my mind and I don't hold back. It's sneaky people like Kaoru who are the troublemakers," Hikaru accused.

"Don't turn this on me Hikaru. After all, I'm always going along with all of your selfish games," Kaoru stated solemnly.

"I may suggest them but you're the one who really gets into them Kaoru. If you hate them so much they why don't you just stop?" Hikaru argued.

"Because I'd hate to see you look like an ass in front of everyone. It was your idea to call Haruhi our toy. But I noticed you were quick to make a pass at her. Admit it, Hikaru, you're actually in love with Haruhi aren't you?" Kaoru argued back.

"Wait first Tamaki and now Hikaru? You certainly are a rich boy magnet Dearest," I commented lightly.

"WHAT?" Tamaki exclaimed in a panic.

"You've got it all wrong Kaoru. Man, you're such a freaking idiot!" Hikaru differed.

"Yeah there are some things in this world that must never be said!" Tamaki whinged.

"Why would I fall for her she looks like a Tanuki?" Hikaru continued.

"You do look a little like a raccoon dog Dearest," I realised.

"Thanks, Sugar," Haruhi remarked sarcastically.

"Hey, raccoon dogs are utterly adorable I dunno why you're taking offense," I stated matter of factly.

"How dare you call her a raccoon dog? YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" Tamaki exclaimed to the twins.

"Wait what's that sound?" I wondered hearing electricity and something large rising up to the clubroom.

The sound came from a twirling, rigged platform, to which Renge stood on making a dramatic appearance.

"Oh no," I whispered in despair.

"Our beloved Haruhi is in the middle of a beautiful yet poignant four-sided romantic relationship. And to make things, even more, exciting, two of Haruhi's admirers are twins torn apart by love. Just the thought of it could make me eat three bowls of rice!" Renge recited as the platform rose.

_I've heard of a love triangle but this is ridiculous. If you include Renge that makes it a love pentagon, which is certainly new to me._

"Oh butt out Otaku," The twins retorted.

"You guys are meanies you shouldn't say something like that to your manager!" Renge whined.

"But Renge I thought you had feelings for Haruhi as well?" Tamaki pointed out.

"Oh I do but I have no problem with Haruhi having a homosexual relationship on the side," Renge answered.

"What? Oh, so when Haruhi has a relationship with a guy, as well as you, it's all hunky dory but when there's a 'female rival' you get all possessive. I don't even have romantic feelings for Haruhi!" I exclaimed to Renge.

"Silence peasant!" Renge snapped.

"So unfair," I muttered irritably.

"I'm confused I thought you were going back home to France Renge?" Haruhi interjected.

"Well I was going to start up a Host Club of my own but I don't think France is ready for a Host Club just yet," Renge responded.

"Greeeat so prissy pink bow's here to stay," I muttered quietly to myself.

"Tomuru, be nice," Kyoya stated, apparently hearing what I said under my breath.

"Why should I? Apparently she's my new nemesis."

"At least, be the better person and act civil. Otherwise, a certain debt may rise," Kyoya warned.

"Fine, manipulative, smug Shadow Lord."

"CUT IT OUT ALREADY! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS CRAWLING INTO MY BED TALK ABOUT ANNOYING!" Hikaru shouted.

"I ONLY DO THAT CUS YOU LOOK LONELY! I WOULDN'T CHOOSE TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED YOU IDIOT!" Kaoru retorted.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SUCKS AT MATHS!"

"OH YEAH WELL YOU'RE FAILING YOUR FOUR LANGUAGE CLASS, YOU BIG DUMMY!"

"UH, THE WAY YOU GRIND YOUR TEETH IS DEAFENING!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T TOSS AND TURN SO MUCH THAT I FALL OUT OF BED!"

"SEX PIXIE!"

"SICKO!"

"YOUR MAMMA WEARS TOO MUCH MAKE UP! THAT'S IT WE'RE OVER!" The twins shouted simultaneously thus ending the shouting match.

"Whoa, those two needed to vent huh?" I whispered to Haruhi.

"I guess they did," Haruhi whispered back.

The twins promptly stormed out afterwards.

"There's always something dramatic in this club," I concluded breaking the awkward silence the twins left in their absence.

**_Walking Home from the Host Club…_**

"How did you tell the twins apart Tomo?" Rossi asked.

"Simple, they have different voices," I answered.

"What?" Haruhi asked.

"Oh come on don't tell me you can't hear the difference Dearest?" I scoffed.

"No, they sound exactly the same to me."

"You're kidding, right? They have completely different voices! Like you and I have different voices," I argued.

"Alright, how do they sound different to one another to you?" Haruhi asked patiently.

"I dunno they just do! I think Kaoru's might be a touch deeper than Hikaru's voice but it is definitely distinguishable."

"Guess you have better ears than you thought Sugar," Rossi shrugged.

"Maybe I am a dog?" I pondered.

* * *

**Me: Hey Rossi never got to say what he was chatting so excitedly about with Honey did he? Well, you lovelies will have to find out in the next chapter. Tomuru what's Twinki Donk?**

**Tomuru: This awesome, superb, great, amazing, positive synonym game I invented that involves throwing marshmallows at Bernard!**

**Me: Throwing food at your arch nemesis no wonder he hates you.**

**Tomuru: No I don't throw marshmallows at the real Bernard dummy. Just a picture of him I don't wanna be pecked to death.**

**Me: ...Well, I suppose it's less cruelty to animals I guess. Seeya later lovelies!**


	14. Episode 5 Part 2

**Me: Hello lovelies, here is the next chapter. Thanks for all the support guys it makes me very happy!**

**Tomuru: Bored!**

**Me: You'll think of something mad to do.**

**Tomuru: Oh great idea! I'll paint Boris now.**

**Me: What? Wait no Tomuru**

**Tomuru: BORIS! HERE BOY!**

**Me: That poor, poor dog.**

* * *

**At my house…**

"Hey T get the door, please!" Yuliana called from her room.

"Why is it going somewhere?" I responded, lying on my bed with my laptop on my stomach.

"Stop being snarky and get the darn door," Yuli shouted.

"Fiiine," I droned, making a lot of effort to get out of bed and go down two flights of stairs to go to the door.

"Hello!" there the Tweeds stood as I opened the door.

I paused for a moment before I responded with, "What happened to 'that's it we're over'?"

"That was just an act wasn't it?" I sussed.

"Exactly, we were bored," Hikaru confirmed.

"So what are you guys doing here? How do you know where I live?"

"We want your advice on how to make the 'quarrelling brothers strategy' believable," Kaoru answered.

"Plus we wanted to see where you live," Hikaru added.

"One condition no brotherly love act go it?"

"Got it," They agreed.

"Come in then," I made room for them to come past.

"So who's at the…oh hey," Yuli commented as she came down the stairs.

"Yuli this is Hikaru and Kaoru. Guys, this is my big sister Yuliana," I introduced them to one another.

"Nice to meet you guys," Yuli greeted.

"You too," The twins responded.

"You two look familiar for some reason. I mean I know I've never met you but… wait there!" Yuli rushed back upstairs.

"Yucky, what the fraggle?" I called up to her.

"Aha, I knew it! Get up here," Yuli called down to us.

The twins and I looked at one another in confusion before I gestured them to follow to where Yuli was, which was in Marcel's room.

"Yuliana I'm trying to get this design perfect leave me alone!" I heard Marcel snap.

"Why are you pestering Mars?" I asked going into his room.

"Tomo tell Yuli to…" Mars froze in mid-sentence.

I looked at where he was staring, to see the twins behind me.

"Oh yeah, Marcel this is-"

"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin," Marcel interrupted, with an expression of awe.

"Yeah how'd you know?" I asked.

Then Marcel pinned me to his wall.

"Hey, what was that for?" I exclaimed.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew the Hitachiin twins? Their mother is a famous fashion designer and my idol!" Marcel demanded.

"Well, they didn't tell me their mother works in fashion," I blamed, pointing to them.

"Marcel has a huge picture of them on his wall how did you not put two and two together," Yuli interjected pointing to a large poster of the twins modelling for a fashion magazine.

"Oh, I hardly go in your room so how would I know?" I reasoned.

"Can I just say it is a huge honour to meet you guys, I am a big fan," Marcel gushed, letting go of me and shaking their hand.

"Always nice to find people who are fans of our mothers work," Hikaru responded politely.

"So are you planning on becoming a fashion designer?" Kaoru asked.

"Hopefully, I'm on a design and fashion course at University," Marcel answered.

"Cool."

"Sorry Marcel but the twins need my assistance with something. After that, you can show off some of your designs," I suggested.

"Sounds good to us," The twins agreed.

"Ok," Marcel said.

"Follow me then Tweeds," I left Marcel's room and headed to my own.

"Where's Rossi?" Kaoru asked.

"Probably hiding from you two," I answered.

"Rossi is at his friends house Tommi," Mum told me through her bedroom door.

"Oh, is he over at Tohru's house?" I asked through the door.

"No two of his new friends picked him up. Honey and Mori, I think their names were."

"Wait what? How come I didn't get told?" I demanded, barging into the study.

"Rossi told me you knew. He said he told you when you three walked home," Mum said, still concentrating on typing.

**Flashback…**

"Maybe I am a dog," I pondered to myself, remembering the photoshopped picture.

"By the way, I forgot to tell you I'm hanging out at Honey's house today Tomo," Rossi told me.

"You two have become good friends," Haruhi responded.

"Yeah turns out we have quite a bit in common," Rossi said.

"Woof, woof," I mumbled to myself, not listening to anything the other two said.

**End of Flashback…**

"Ooooh," I oohed in realisation.

"Lovely to meet two more of the Host Club by the way. I'd love to meet the whole set soon. I'll try and be less busy by then," Mum added, speaking to the twins in the hallway.

"I'm sure the rest of the Host Club will love to meet you, Ma'am," The twins spoke simultaneously.

"Ooh Ma'am, very polite. I like these two Tommi," Mum approved.

"I guess it's a nice change from 'Oi you the bearer of children' or 'The Motherlord'," I commented.

"Do you really refer to your mother like that?" Hikaru asked.

"Yes she does, and only Tommi does. If you haven't noticed she's a little odd," Mum remarked.

"It's true. Well, we'll leave ya to it Motherlord," I said, ushering the twins out of mum's office.

"Right so we've met all of your family can we get on with you helping us with our scheme," Hikaru stated.

"Yep but you haven't met everyone. The last of the Okiro clan is in my room," I responded walking up the next staircase and opening my bedroom door.

"You've gotta attic room?" Kaoru questioned.

"Of course," I confirmed before the walking towel proceeds to nibble my feet.

"Boris you cute smushy idiot! With ya damn foot fetish," I gushed, sidestepping Boris and entering my room.

"So this is your dog. No wonder you and Haruhi said this was your favourite animal. He's adorable!" Hikaru and Kaoru commented, fussing over the wrinkle monster that exposed his soft belly.

"Hey, what's the matter with his eyes Tomuru?" Kaoru asked, noticing Boris's cloudy milk eyes.

"Shar-Pei's are prone to blindness. Boris has been blind from when he was born. Poor baby," I explained, receiving awws from the twins.

"Correct reaction! So what exactly is it that you want me to help you with?" I asked, sitting on my swivel chair.

"Well you the only person we know that has siblings and will be willing to help with our schemes," Hikaru started.

"We just want some ideas and pointers to make our 'fighting brothers' act believable and fun," Kaoru finished.

"Oh…OK! Take a seat as I share my knowledge," I agreed, gesturing them to sit on the bed.

As they sat Boris jumped up and spread himself over the twins's laps.

"Boris, you look like you're melting. Anyway, you two need to throw things at each other. Anything you can get your Tweedly hands on."

"Alright, what else?" the twins encouraged, writing my wisdom down.

"I mean constantly, any chance you get. Also, change something about your look to differ from your twin."

"What like one of us wears a hat, changes hairstyle or something?"

"I was thinking of dying your hair..."

"Ok, we can do that," Hikaru said.

"…crazy colours."

"Huh?"

"Dye your hairs bright colours," I stated.

"Ooookkk? What colours do you have in mind?" the twins questioned cautiously.

"Hikaru dye your hair flamingo pink."

"Flamingo pink?"

"Yes, and Kaoru bright blue."

"Bright blue?"

"Yes."

"Why do we both need to-"

"DON'T QUESTION MY WISDOM!" I exclaimed.

"I regret coming to you for advice," Hikaru remarked.

"Seconded," Kaoru added.

"Well, Boris has trapped you both so there's no going back MUHAHAHA! Alright, let's move on to the script."

"We're having a script?"

"Of course."

**A huge amount of typing and printing off later…**

"Tada! Here you go, absorb those words," I told them handing them the script I created for them.

"Hey, this is not bad," Hikaru commented whilst skimming through the script.

"Yeah, thanks for your help Doggie," Kaoru added, to which Boris lifted his head and licked Kaoru.

"Boris, no he didn't mean you. I know your are a doggie, I'm sorry for the confusion," I told Boris, fussing over him.

"Can we look at some of Marcel's fashion designs now?" Hikaru asked.

"Sure, I'll help you get freed from Boris," I agreed.

It took some work but the twins were freed, however bit saliva covered, and a sad Boris curled up in one corner of my bed.

"You two can go ahead, I need to console my pouting dog," I said.

"I feel evil now," Kaoru said guiltily.

"Yeah, that's how I feel every time I leave for school. It's just the cute powers of Boris," I responded.

"By the way, you cannot tell anyone else," Hikaru stated firmly.

"What? Not even Dearest?" I moaned.

"Not even Haruhi."

"Darn it, thanks for telling me sooner. I hate keeping secrets from Haruhi," I complained, as they left the room.

"Boris baby oooh it's not you sweetie. The twins luv you. I wuv you!" I fussed, cuddling the sad towel.

* * *

**Me: Sooo there we go. You may have noticed I changed Boris's breed (it used to be an Akita). I simply love Shar-Pei's! Speaking of Boris Tomuru what in god's name have you done to your dog?**

**Tomuru: He's a wrinkly lion! Who eats feet!**

**Me: Nice touch with the fake mane. That's animal-friendly paint, right?**

**Tomuru: Relax I'm not an idiot.**

**Me: That...that doesn't exactly answer my question.**


	15. Episode 5 Part 3

**Me: Happy Halloween Lovelies! **

**Tomuru: Spooky Scary Skeletons send shivers down you spine!**

**Me: Of course Tomuru loves Halloween.**

**Tomuru: This is Halloween, This is Halloween pumpkins scream in the dead of night!**

**Me: Well then...**

**Tomuru: They did the Mash! They did the Monster Mash! The Monster Mash! It was a graveyard smash!**

**Me: Alright I think they get the point.**

**Tomuru: Who ya gonna call?**

**Haruhi: GHOSTBUSTERS!**

**Me: Really? **

* * *

**The next day…**

"Hey, Rossi did you have fun at Honey's house?" I asked as I made breakfast.

"Yeah, it was sweet! We had a tea party, watched My Neighbour Totoro then had dinner," Rossi answered excitedly.

"Did you get to meet his family?" Yuli asked.

"I only met his younger brother Yasuchika, but he didn't seem like the friendly type. Honey also showed me some of his martial arts techniques."

"Beg ya pardon?" I questioned, as I gave Boris his breakfast.

"Yeah turns out Honey's and Mori's family are famous for their martial arts. Honey himself is the best fighter in his family. They even train police forces and SAS forces," Rossi explained.

"Well, looks certainly are deceiving," I commented.

"You weren't the only one in the company of Hosts," Yuli interjected.

"Really?"

"I'll let Tomo explain or I'll be late for work later guys," Yuli said, before leaving.

"So who came to visit?" Rossi asked.

"Tweedledum and Tweedledee came to visit. Marcel was fanboying over them," I explained.

"Why'd they come to visit?"

"They wanted to see where we lived. Plus they wanted my help with something."

"They didn't do their Twincest act here did they?"

"I made sure they promised not to do that unspeakable behaviour before they entered the premises. Aren't you gonna ask why Marcel was fanboying over the twins?" I asked.

"Damn it I overslept again! Someone chuck water on me next time alright," Marcel exclaimed in a panic, grabbing a piece of toast before running out the door.

"Anyway, I know why Marco would be excited to see them. There are pictures of them practically covering Marcel's walls," Rossi responded.

"Well, thanks for telling me I had no idea about it until yesterday," I retorted.

"I thought you knew," Rossi defended himself.

"Whatever I'll give Boris his morning toilet break before we head to school," I said to which Boris dashed to the front door instinctively.

**Haruhi's Narrative**

I got seated for the class to start. The twins haven't arrived yet.

"Hey, Haruhi," I heard Hikaru greet.

However when I looked up I was shocked to see that Hikaru's hair was pink.

"Good morning," He continued.

"Hikaru what in the world happened to your hair? Why is it dyed pink?" I asked in surprise.

"Because pink suits me don't you think it's cute? From now on I'm the pink haired twin. I didn't want to be mistaken for that Kaoru for the rest of my life ya know," Hikaru answered.

At that moment, Kaoru entered the classroom. His hair was dyed bright blue.

"Good morning Haruhi," Kaoru greeted, both twins were blatantly ignoring each other.

"So Kaoru's the blue twin?" I guessed.

"I finally got to sleep all by myself last night but I ended up having a nightmare. I dreamt that my stylist dyed my hair pink. It was garish and ridiculous looking I woke up screaming," Kaoru commented, obviously insulting Hikaru in the process.

Hikaru heard the insult and responded by moving Kaoru's chair just as Kaoru was sitting down, making him fall to the floor. Kaoru then pulled Hikaru's chair from under him, which made Hikaru collapse on the floor. These acts then led to a full on fight where the twins threw anything they could get their hands on at one another, which I happened to be stuck in the middle of. Thus creating a hill of stuff created behind me. I'm sure I saw Usa Chan and Honey Senpai amongst the items for some reason.

"Uuuh," I moaned to myself.

At lunchtime, I decided to follow the twins to the dining hall in case they got into another fight.

"I'll have the A lunch," Both the twins ordered.

"No, give me the B pasta and the D salad. I'll have the F Capellini with the Barbary duck. No, make that a four prawn paraga sauce. STOP COPYING ME WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" The twins continued to speak simultaneously, causing the chefs to back away.

"Amazing, perfect unison even when fighting," I stated to myself.

"I was wondering what all the fuss was about. I can't believe the two of you are still fighting. You're a disgrace to the Host Club," I heard Tamaki Senpai scorn from across the dining room.

"Look who it is."

"Aww, I love them."

"I've never seen them all together like that."

These comments were only a few of the comments from the girls in the dining room.

"We've had enough of this you are both to blame for this fight," Honey interjected, getting out a strawberry cake before continuing "Hika Chan and Kau Chan I want you to make up and go halfsies on this cake kay? But I want a piece too so I guess we have to go thirdsies. Oh, we're not gonna be able to split the strawberry on top, though. What should we do? Maybe I should just take it, after all, strawberries are my favourite. Oh, I forgot to ask Hika Chan, Kau Chan do you like strawberries?" Honey rambled, irritating the twins.

"You're just making it worse leave them alone," Mori stated, taking Honey to one side.

"Oh, Haruhi I didn't expect to run into you in the dining hall," Tamaki Senpai greeted happily.

"I was worried about those two so I followed them without even thinking. I always bring a boxed lunch and I was just going to eat it in my classroom," I responded gesturing to my lunch I was holding.

"A boxed lunch?" Tamaki muttered, before going off into his own little world.

I left him to daydream and sat down at a spare table.

"Haruhi you wanna sit here with me?" Hikaru offered.

"Uh ok"

"So what's that? What did you bring for lunch?" Hikaru asked casually.

"Yesterday's leftovers and a rolled omelette," I answered.

"You wanna switch with me? I had to order something different from Kaoru so I got something I didn't actually like," Hikaru asked.

"That's fine with me," I sighed, even though he already swapped lunches before I responded.

_This is really magnificent. I never tried anything like this before._

As soon as I put the forkful of rich food in my mouth I knew it was ten times better than the food I usually eat. It tasted utterly delectable. Like it was the food of gods, I'm sure the surroundings were more sparkly around me as well, which was weird now that I think about it.

"So Haruhi is it any good? How would you like to taste mine? Here," I heard Kaoru offer as he sat the other side of me, bringing me out of some tasty food trance.

At that moment, he lifted my chin up with one hand and spoon feeding me with the other. Before I could try it Hikaru intervened eating the spoonful himself.

"Quit butting in getting lost Kaoru," Hikaru moaned, the spoon still in his mouth.

Then Kaoru threw his soup at Hikaru, which Hikaru blocked using Tamaki Senpai as a shield. This, for the second time today, spiralled into a full on fight. Expect for more food and Hosts being chucked.

"I think I'm going to eat in my classroom after all." I decided, walking away from the chaos.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

**At the Host Club…**

"Hey guys, no guests today?" I greeted entering the clubroom with Rossi.

"Yeah and no twins either," Haruhi responded, looking a bit worn down.

"So they're still fighting?" Rossi asked.

"Uh huh," Honey answered.

Rossi gave me a confused look, to which I gave him a 'just play along with it' look.

"No offence but you all look fed up," I told the Hosts that were present.

"That because the twins fought all day. They even dyed their hair," Haruhi said.

"Really?" I asked, acting surprised.

"Yeah blue and pink for some reason," Tamaki interjected, his head and arms flat on the table.

"What?" I exclaimed, laughing heartily.

"It's not that funny Tomo," Haruhi sighed, staring through the window.

"Tis," I managed to splutter, before trying to contain myself so I didn't give anything away.

_They did it! The Tweeds actually did it. I so need to see what they look like!_

"Looking at the numbers if this situation doesn't resolve I'm afraid we have to stop doing our brotherly love package. We're down a one pair of loving brothers," Kyoya informed tapping a calculator.

"Oh, Haruhi I just want you to know there's no reason for you to feel responsible. Even though it was your tactless comment that started this whole feud between the twins in the first place right?" Kyoya continued, smiling pleasantly.

"Clearly he blames you, Dearest," I whispered, to which Haruhi nodded in agreement.

"It's weird for Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan to be fighting like this. It's never happened before," Honey commented, to which Mori agreed with a 'mm'.

"They've never fought before?" Rossi questioned.

"I've known Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan since we were in Preschool. We weren't in the same year so I never really got to talk to them. But I remember the two of them always played together," Honey spoke, playing with Usa-Chan thoughtfully.

"Yeah, that's true. I mean I've only known them since they were in Middle School. But they definitely stood out. It seemed like they kept everyone at a distance except each other. Believe it or not, they were even more warped back then," Tamaki reminisced, his left hand propping up his head.

"When you stop and think about maybe this fight is a good thing for them. Maybe this means the twins are expanding their horizons a bit. We should just leave them alone and let them work it out," Tamaki continued positively.

I started to feel guilty about keeping the twin's secret, especially from Rossi and Haruhi.

"Besides Tomo and I squabble with our siblings all the time it doesn't mean we still don't love each other," Rossi interjected lightly.

"Hey, not all the time," I protested.

"Why to pink and blue though?" Rossi thought aloud.

"Huh?"

"I get that they want to be different from one another but why those colours. They seem a bit random and… weird," Rossi commented, giving me a quick glance.

"Who knows maybe they just wanna be dramatic or peacocky or something," I answered vaguely and not at all suspicious in any way.

**The Next day in Music room 3 **

I finally got to see the twin's new hairstyles, which were greater than I ever imagined.

"Love the new hair Tweeds," I laughed.

"Shut up Doggie! UH STOP COPYING ME!" the twins shouted before throwing everything they could lift and throwing it at one another, just as I told them.

"Didn't think they were that strong," I remarked.

"This was basically happening all yesterday," Haruhi told me.

We all stood and watched the Tweeds tire themselves out since they threw all the furniture into one huge pile.

"How'd Honey get up there?" I wondered, staring at Honey holding Usa Chan.

"Uh, don't you think it's time for you two to quit all this fighting? It's driving me insane," Tamaki complained, shaking all over.

"What you say, it's driving you insane? Oh, you've got to be kidding right now how do you think I feel right now? Every time I look in the mirror I see his face. I am sick and tired of constantly being mistaken for you Kaoru. The truth is I HATE YOUR GUTS!" Hikaru shouted.

_I remember typing some of that._

"You took the words right out of my mouth. In fact, I hate you so much I bought this. Belsanaff the curse doll!" Kaoru retorted, getting out a brown cat doll and a pen.

_I didn't put that in the script?_

This made Tamaki shriek and cower away.

"I'm going to complete the curse, Hikaru. I'm gonna write his name on your back. From now on you will experience nothing but misfortune and sorrow!" Kaoru declared scribbling on the back of the doll.

Haruhi and I looked at each other then decided to end this charade (though Haruhi didn't realise that just yet). The twins have gone a bit too far with that act. we both ran towards them, then Haruhi punched them on the top of their heads.

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST KNOCK IT OF!" Haruhi yelled as she hit them, which surprised the Hosts.

I grab the doll away from Kaoru as Haruhi continued to tell off the twins.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU DON'T BRING SOMETHING LIKE THIS INTO A PETTY FIGHT! BOTH OF YOU ARE AT FAULT HERE BUT WHAT'S REALLY SAD IS THAT YOU'VE BOUGHT EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO YOUR BIG MESS! NOW APOLOGISE TO EACH OTHER! IF YOU DON'T MAKE-UP RIGHT NOW I'M NEVER GOING TO LET YOU COME TO MY HOUSE HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" Haruhi exclaimed.

"Guys you can squabble all you like but don't get dark magic stuff involved. Especially this voodoo witchcraft," I agreed.

The twins looked shocked for a moment before symmetrically smirking. Slowly they got up and sneaked around Haruhi and me.

"So what you're saying Haruhi is that if we make up we can go to your place?" the twins spoke smugly.

I turned the doll around the see that Kaoru wrote 'Blank' not Hikaru. The twins proceeded to high five each other.

"I'm so sorry Kaoru. Even though we were just following our script I said such awful things to you. I'm not fit to be your brother," Hikaru apologised, returning to his brotherly love state.

"Don't say that Hikaru! I was so worried. I couldn't live with myself if I ever thought I'd hurt you," Kaoru responded in his brotherly love state.

"Are the poses necessary?" I mumble to myself.

"Kaoru I'll never let you go again!"

"Hikaru!"

"You gotta be kidding me you mean you guys were faking it this whole time?" Honey exclaimed in annoyance.

"We didn't have anything else to do we were bored," The twins laughed.

Haruhi and Tamaki kneeled on the floor in surprise.

"They totally fooled me," I heard Haruhi say in disbelief, making my guilt increase.

"Twins with too much time on their hands…are the devil," Tamaki groaned, which the twins response was sticking their tongues out.

"…THAT'S WHY THE TWIN'S WERE AT OUR HOUSE!" Rossi exclaimed in realisation.

"Uh-oh," I muttered.

"Say what? Sugar please tell me you didn't get involved in this," Haruhi spoke sternly to me.

"Well…" I began sheepishly.

"Afraid so, it was her idea to dye our hair different colours and throw things all the time. Plus she wrote the script we acted out," Hikaru ratted me out, getting me even more in trouble.

"Did she now?" Haruhi seethed.

"Well thanks for telling your brother and best friend sister dear," Rossi remarked sarcastically.

"How could you betray your father?" Tamaki whimpered.

"I know I'm sorry. Does it help that I feel really bad about it? By the way, they improvised most of it. I mean the curse doll was their idea. Look I'll try and make it up to you guys promise," I apologised.

"You have never kept anything from me before," Haruhi murmured looking betrayed.

"I know, the twins made me promise not to tell!" I responded slightly panicky, I mean I didn't want Haruhi to hate me or anything.

Haruhi still did not look happy so I decided it would be best to leave. I grabbed my stuff and went out the clubroom. I walked with a daydream daze and ended up at Bernard's turf. Of course, they were spitting and quacking at me.

"Yeah, yeah," I droned sitting at the farthest bench and placing my head in my hands.

"I'm gonna have to do something I really despise to make Dearest forgive me," I muttered.

"You got that right Tomo," Rossi spoke making me jump.

"You followed me?"

"Yep, dunno why you chose here of all places."

"Dunno either I must've really screwed up. Hell I know I did. You forgive me right?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah ya dummy! You've kept stuff from me before. Like you beating up that High School lad from my previous beat up," Rossi spoke lightly.

"Let me guess Yuli?" I groaned.

"Uh huh, but I kinda figured you'd do something like that anyway."

"I made Haruhi's life miserable these past two days, telling the twins to throw stuff and fight," I sighed.

"Well then do something that will make you miserable for two days, maybe four," Rossi suggested.

"Rossi that's brilliant! Let's see things that'll make me miserable," I praised hugging Rossi.

"You could have Bernard hang around you for two days?" Rossi suggested.

"Too impractical, plus I'd be in the hospital for duck bites…I'VE GOT IT!"

"Yeah well let's hear it?" Rossi urged.

Then I whispered my plan in Rossi's ear.

"Tomo you sure?" Rossi asked nervously.

"Definitely."

* * *

**Me: How's Tomuru gonna pay Haruhi back? You're just gonna have to find out next time!**

**Me: Where's Tomuru?**

_**Aaaauuuuthhhhorrr! Auuuutthhhooorr!**_

**Me: That's not my name you know.**

_**oh well, then what is your name?**_

**Me: Roseanne**

_**What kinda stupid name is that?**_

**Me: My name!**

_**Oh...Rooosssseeeaannnne! **_

**Me: _'Sigh' _seeya guys next time**

**Tomuru: BOO! It was me the whole time!**

**Me: Wow I am soooo surprised  
**

**Tomuru: Nailed it!**


	16. Episode 6 Part 1

**Me: Hello Lovelies**

**Tomuru: WOOOO SPARKLERS!**

**Me: You keep away from me with those things.**

**Tomuru: Aww ya don't like Sparklers, Rosie?**

**Me: Don't call me that and not when you're waving them around like glow sticks!**

**Haruhi: Hey guys...oh who let Sugar have sparklers?**

**Me: Hey it wasn't me I want to keep her away as far as possible.**

**DISCLAIMER: I keep telling you I own NOTHING! **

**Tomuru: How are you typing this then?**

**Me: Shut up**

* * *

**Next day at the Host Club…**

"Hey, guys," I greeted as usual.

I noticed that Haruhi glanced in my direction briefly before blatantly ignoring me. As I suspected she still wasn't happy with me.

"Can you two dress me up today? Ya know since you've stopped the fighting?" Rossi requested the twins, who I noticed swapped their dyed hair colours (so Hikaru had blue hair and Kaoru had pink hair).

_Why'd they keep those hair colours when they've stopped fighting?_

"Sure thing," The twins agreed.

"I'm coming too," I told them following them to the changing rooms.

"Oh yeah? Feel like having a makeover Doggie," Hikaru teased.

"That's one way of putting it," I responded, before telling the twins what I planned to do.

"Of course, happy to help," Hikaru agreed too eagerly.

"Though that particular outfit has a rather small skirt," Kaoru added, both of them looking too creepily eager for my comfort.

"The shorter the more uncomfortable I'll be so the skimpier the better," I responded in determination.

I was then ushered into one of the changing areas holding said attire.

_The things I do for you Dearest._

**Haruhi's Narrative**

What the hell is Tomuru doing? She's off conspiring with the twins again despite what occurred yesterday. Unbelievable, she'd usually do something embarrassing to make me forgive her! Rossi came out of the dressing room wearing a purplely red dress, the twins trailed behind looking oddly enthusiastic for some reason.

"Ladies and Hosts may we turn your attention to Tomuru Okiro!" the twins announced.

I huffed and began to walk towards the kitchen, not interested in what Tomo was up to.

"Ah, ah, ah you don't wanna miss this toy," The twins dragged me to a random chair that faced the changing rooms.

The guests were quietly gossiping, wondering what was happening.

"Haruhi what is your mad friend up to now?" Kyoya asked me.

"Who knows," I replied.

The lights were turned off and a spotlight appeared revealing Tomuru.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

As soon as the lights switched off I quickly moved to where the spotlight was going to shine, whilst putting on the makeshift sign I created the night before. When I made the signal the spotlight appeared, allowing everyone to see what I was wearing. This was the one outfit I swore I'd never wear. Breaking the only condition I made when agreeing to become errand girl. That's right I was wearing the Maids cosplay, complete with quite impractical high heels, apron and white feather dust. The sign I made had 'FORGIVE ME DEAREST!' written on the front and a picture of a cake with a red cross on it.

"WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER WEARING?" I heard Tamaki screech, getting held back from the twins.

"I Tomuru Okiro hereby declare my sincere apologies to Haruhi Fujioka and until I am forgiven I shall wear this maid cosplay and not consume anything sweet. Including cakes, cookies and chocolate buttons," I announced hand on heart, the other hand held the feather duster which I pointed at Haruhi.

The lights were turned back on so I could see everyone's eyes were either on me or Dearest. Then came the excited chatter of the guests.

"Aww, that is so sweet!"

"Oh forgive her Haruhi."

"She must really like him!"

"How romantic!"

_I don't really consider this romantic._

"THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOUR DADDY WILL ALLOW THIS!" Tamaki yelled.

"Shush," I shushed him, making him go into his dark aura.

I watched Haruhi get up and walk towards me, her expression was unreadable kinda like Mori Senpai's. She looked me up and down for a second before her face broke into a huge smile and she laughed. And continued to laugh for a good few minutes.

"Dearest I'm being serious for once!" I moaned, trying to pull down the skirt part of the outfit so my frog underwear wasn't displayed, like an art piece in a gallery, but failing.

"You moron! Course you're forgiven just don't keep anything from me again alright? Pinky promise," Haruhi laughed, giving me a hug.

"Pinky promise! I'm still going to wear this outfit for the next few days just so we're even," I insisted, looking relieved as we did the Pinky promise.

"Yes!" the twins cheered high-fiving each other.

"Hey, any touching or staring at my behind will get you a punch got it?" I threatened.

"Yeah no objectifying my sister," Rossi snapped, giving the twins the warning glare.

"Trust me you don't want to get Rossi angry," Haruhi advised.

"That goes for anyone else!" I spoke vaguely, referring to the other Hosts mainly.

"Alright, we'll behave," The twins assured hands up in submission, however, they had their mischievous look in their eyes that told me otherwise.

"Now that's done with can you get on with your errands now?" Kyoya stated.

"Right away Kyoya Senpai," I responded, before heading to the almost empty cake trolley.

"By the way nice underwear Doggie."

"Ribbit," The twins muttered as they passed.

"What did I just say!" I exclaimed kicking them both on their arses.

"Bloody perverts," I grumbled.

As I tended to my usual routine I tried to keep my underwear from view as much as possible. Mainly crouching down to refilled teapots instead of bending down and sitting down as much as I could.

"Doggie come over here!" the Tweeds called.

"Oh goody," I remarked sarcastically walking very slowly towards them.

"What?" I demanded.

"Could you be a dear and pick up our napkin for us. We seemed to have dropped it," Kaoru asked sweetly though the ulterior motive was definitely hinted.

I looked at where they 'dropped' their napkin which was beside the coffee table.

"You can easily get that yourself," I pointed out.

"Yes well, we're too busy," Hikaru excused.

"Besides, it's the errand girl's job to clean up after us," Kaoru added.

"Fine," I spoke curtly.

Instead of bending down like the twins clearly wanted I quickly crouched down and retrieved their precious napkin.

"Here! Why have you got a camera?" I asked holding the napkin at them.

"What camera?" Hikaru asked taking the napkin from me.

"Yeah, we didn't have a camera," Kaoru added innocently.

"Then what's behind your backs," I questioned, arms crossed.

"The sofa genius," Tweedledum remarked sarcastically.

"Right that's it! I'm warning you I'll get Rossi over here if you don't own up!" I snapped.

"What's Rossi going to do?"

"Yeah, he's twelve," The Tweeds teased.

"You brought this on yourselves…ROSSI THE TWINS SWORE!" I shouted.

Before the twins could even stand Rossi pounced on them, eyes glowing red, his movements blurred from how fast he hit. Two minutes of the Rossi treatment the twins were bruised and bitten in most places.

"Thanks, Rossi!" I chirped pleasantly.

"Anytime," Rossi responded, skipping back to Honey's table as if nothing happened.

"Now have you learned your lessons to not be perverts?" I asked them.

The just nodded their heads, tears in their eyes looking traumatised.

"Camera please," I requested, to which Hikaru quickly handed over.

"Aha! I knew that's what you two were up to! Delete," I stated, deleting the photo and handing the camera back to them.

"May I ask what is going on here?" Kyoya interjected, seeing the bruised twins.

"Just teaching the Tweeds on how to treat a lady," I commented lightly.

"Right well could you double check all the cosplay attire is ready for next week?" Kyoya asked.

"Sure thing what's the theme?" I replied.

However, Kyoya didn't seem to hear me. In fact, he looked like he had something else on his mind.

"Um, Kyoya Senpai?" I queried in confusion.

_What's he looking at?_

As soon as I looked down to where he was looking I realised why he was so distracted. Now this outfit didn't really leave much to the imagination as not only was it short enough to see my underwear but it was also strapless and well…cleavage shaped at the top. Making my boobs look a size larger than they actually are.

"Kyoya Senpai are there little aliens dancing on my chest?" I asked with a mock pleasantness.

"What? No," he responded finally giving me eye contact.

"Then what is the theme of next week's cosplay?" I repeated more articulately, sending him an annoyed glare.

"It will be Royal Arabian themed," He answered before turning away and returning to his laptop.

Still a bit annoyed I went and did as Kyoya requested.

"How are you handling dressing up maid style?" Haruhi conversed, joining me a few minutes later as I sifted through the many cosplay outfits the Host Club had.

"Does all maids' have to dress like this in rich mansions? If so then rich people are pretty perverted," I commented.

"I think servants have uniforms that give them more dignity," Haruhi replied.

"So I'm just wearing the skimpy outfit then," I moaned irritably.

"Already getting unwanted attention Sugar? Let me guess the twins?"

"Yeah but I already dealt with them Rossi style. Surprisingly Kyoya Senpai has been at it as well," I informed.

"Really? Who knew Kyoya Senpai was a pervert? I thought it would be Tamaki Senpai."

"You'd think but actually, he's acted the opposite. When he's not entertaining guests Tamaki's been trying to cover me up any chance he had. Whether by trying to persuade me to wear his Ouran blazer or by walking in front or behind me as I moved. It's nice an' all but it's hard to see where I'm going when all I see is Tamaki Senpai's back," I told her.

"I guess he does live up to the Princely type reputation," Haruhi commented.

"Yeah when he's not around you," I teased.

"Shut up!" Haruhi moaned.

"Alright, alright."

"Ya know you don't have to wear that silly costume anymore. You've suffered a lot more than I have in this last hour alone," Haruhi said earnestly.

"Look I only have two more days of wearing this thing. Besides, it gives me a good excuse to beat up people," I shrugged.

"Did you beat up Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"Nah I just asked him whether there were little aliens dancing on my chest," I replied.

"Who knows maybe he secretly likes you Sugar," Haruhi teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh yeah what a story that'll be for the grandkids. '_Grandma, how did you and Grandpa Fall in love?" _'Well, it was love at first sight for your Grandpa. However it wasn't my face he fell for,'" I scoffed pointing to my breasts, before laughing along with Haruhi.

_Kyoya and I, like that'll ever happen!_

* * *

**Me: Oooh could there be something between the weirdo and the cool type? Yes? No? Maybe? I dunno I'll see.**

**Tomuru: hehe hehe**

**Me: What did you do?**

**Tomuru: NOTHING! I just think that your hair looks flamin' today. **

**Me: What? ...TOMURU WHAT THE HELL!**

**Haruhi: What she do...why do you have sparklers in your hair?**

**Me: Ask your friend the fire hazard!**

**Tomuru: I thought it'd give your hair a bit more SPARKLE!**

**Me: Right I'm ending this before you make another horrid pun. Seeya lovelies!**


	17. Episode 6 Part 2

**Me: Thank you for being patient lovelies! I was sure I posted this chapter. Don't worry you will get the next one tomorrow. Sorry**

**Haruhi: Maybe you getting Tomo's forgetfulness.**

**Me: I hope not**

**Tomuru: Ya know come to think of it I haven't been lost in a while.**

**Me: Noooo! **

* * *

Finally, the three days of Maid Cosplay are over.

"YES! I'd never thought I'd be this happy dressing as an Arabian Princess!" I cheered gleefully.

"I take it you will not be wearing that particular attire ever again?" Kyoya supposed.

"Correct, I will never wear maid cosplay again," I declared.

"You also get to eat cake again to Sugar," Haruhi reminded me.

"Holy macaroni you're right! Honey, I'm definitely eating cake with you at some point today."

"Yay Tomo Chan can eat cake with me!" Honey responded happily.

"Is Rossi still changing?" I wondered.

"Nope," Rossi answered, jumping on my back.

"You look like Princess Jasmine!" I commented, turning my head to look at Rossi's pale blue outfit.

"I just need the long hair and the tiger," Rossi agreed.

_"I can show you the world._

_Shining, shimmering, splendid!_

_Tell me, princess, now when did last let your heart decide,"_ I sang, giving Rossi a piggyback as I power walked around the clubroom.

"Into your places, people our guests will be arriving any minute," Tamaki instructed.

I placed Rossi back on the ground so he could sit at his usual table, whilst we got into our welcome poses in Arabian decorations.

"Welcome," We chorused when the door opened.

However instead of a flurry of excited girls, as usual, there stood a young boy in a green uniform.

"Oh, it's just a kid," Hikaru commented.

"Not only that it's a boy," Kaoru added.

"What's wrong little boy? Did you come to my palace in search of something?" Tamaki asked, acting in his usual royal persona.

"Are you the King of this place?" the boy asked Tamaki, to which he looked flattered.

"Well are you?" the boy repeated.

"Come closer lost one," Tamaki told the kid, to which the boy went and stood in front of the posing Hosts.

"What was it you just called me little boy?" Tamaki inquired.

_Come on he knew exactly what he said!_

"The King," The boy replied.

"THE KING! YES, THE KING! I AM THE KING OF THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB! LONG LIVE THE HOST KING!" Tamaki exclaimed in delight, with stars in his eyes.

"I'm an elementary 5th year, Shiro Takaoji. I want the Host Club king to take me on as an apprentice!" the kid demanded, pointing at Tamaki.

Of course, Tamaki was going to say yes. I could tell by the overjoyed look in his eyes.

**Next day at the Host Club…**

"I knew it!" I remarked as soon as I saw Shiro observing Tamaki using his Princely charms on one of his guests.

"As if Tamaki Senpai's ego needs to get any bigger," Haruhi stated.

"Did his majesty order the kid to stare at him so intently?" I questioned, finding it odd that the Elementary 5th year was observing the Princely act so closely.

"Of course," Kyoya answered.

"Don't you think it's weird that he's making the kid observe up close like that?" Haruhi asked.

"Exactly what I thought Dearest." I agreed.

"There is a theory that states that people are considered more beautiful the closer they are viewed. Tamaki seems to live by that theory," Kyoya informed, writing on a clipboard as usual.

"You look more like the carp that swim in my pond at home I'd never give false compliments like that!" I heard Shiro insult the guest Tamaki was entertaining.

"CARP!" the guest cried out.

"Don't listen to him he's just a kid. You know how kids are they can't help but be honest," Tamaki tried to comfort.

"HONEST!"

"No, I wouldn't say you look like a carp and even if you did look like a carp you'd be the most beautiful carp of them all," Tamaki once again tried and failed to console.

"SO I AM A CARP!"

"No that's not what I meant," Tamaki whimpered meekly.

"TAMAKI YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" the girl shouted, running out of the room crying.

"NO WAIT MERMAID PRINCESS!" Tamaki called to the upset guest as she ran.

"Well looks like she's not returning anytime soon," I sighed, heading over to Tamaki's table to take away any dishes.

"Man what a cry baby," Shiro commented, to which Tamaki glared at the mouthy youth.

"So how's it goin' boss? That's an adorable little apprentice you've got there," Hikaru laughed.

"Hikaru do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?" Kaoru asked quietly.

"Oh, here we go," I mutter as I roll my eyes.

"Don't be silly I could search the globe and not find a brother better than you Kaoru," Hikaru responded, cupping Kaoru's face.

"Hikaru," Kaoru pined.

"Look they're doing it!"

"It's forbidden brotherly love," Two of the twin's guests gushed.

I wolf whistled at the twins before I turned my attention to Shiro to see what he thought of the 'brotherly love' act.

"They're Homos and they're brothers. This is totally incestuous!" Shiro said in disgust, he looked horrified as one of the hands held onto the table to stop him falling from shock.

"I think you mean incestuous and yes it is, incredibly so," I corrected.

_Finally, a student in this school has a normal reaction to the twin's barely legal act!_

Still looking shocked, Shiro backed away from the twins, only to be glomped from behind by Honey Senpai.

"Hey, Shiro Chan you wanna have some cake with me? We've got three kinds chocolate, strawberry and lime," Honey offered, still on Shiro's back.

"Hey back off! What grade are you in anyway why are wearing a High school uniform?" Shiro demanded, pushing Honey off his back.

"Guess not everyone likes having their personal space infiltrated," Rossi commented, joining me in observing Shiro.

"Ha, he certainly is in the wrong place then. The Hosts don't know the meaning of personal space," I responded sharing a laugh with my little brother.

"I think Shiro might be a year or two younger than me," Rossi observed.

"He's got to be at least 10," I added before we turned our attention to Shiro.

"Something wrong Mitskuni?" Mori inquired, to an upset Honey who leapt onto Mori's back.

"No way a little kid like you shouldn't have a cool older friend like him!" Shiro exclaimed.

"Actually, they're both High School third years," I interjected, getting a shocked look from Shiro.

At that moment, Shiro backed into Haruhi, who was holding a fancy looking tea set.

"Are you alright? I know it's kinda hard to get used to all the weirdos around. Took me a while to get adjusted to all the craziness but don't freak out I'm sure you'll get used to it," Haruhi told Shiro reassuringly.

"Something wrong?" she asked when Shiro didn't respond.

"Are you a cross dresser?" Shiro asked.

"Okay that's enough I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us don't you?" Tamaki spoke hastily, putting his hand over Shiro's eyes.

"Wow, Haruhi you're looking extra manly today," Kaoru commented patting Haruhi's head like Hikaru.

"Do as the boss says and let Shiro carry that tea set. You're too macho for tea sets. And besides it's part of his training," Hikaru continued the façade, laughing nervously, with Tamaki and Kaoru.

_Yeah, he's not buying it._

The boy's impression was unimpressed as he took Tamaki's hand off his face.

"Now be careful with it, it's pretty heavy," Haruhi warned, handing Shiro the tea set.

"Perhaps I should carry the…" I started.

But before I could finish Shiro dropped the expensive looking tea set, smashing the tea set into pieces.

"…tea set."

"It's not my fault I dropped it. It's your fault for making me take it in the first place," Shiro blamed Haruhi.

"Say what?" Haruhi uttered.

"Haruhi that's another hundred thousand yen, oh and clean up the mess Tomuru," Kyoya interjected.

"Huh?" Haruhi exclaimed.

"On it Senpai," I said, saluting before getting a dustpan and brush.

When I returned the guests were gone and Shiro was in a cage, shouting madly. I was only gone for two minutes!

"Uh, Dearest an explanation if you please?"

"Apparently it's 'Isolation'. Where did it come from anyway? It's supposed to be a music room right?" Haruhi wondered.

"So why's Shiro in it?"

"He was being mouthy, plus he dissed Haruhi," Rossi answered.

"What did he hear Haruhi sing?" I joked.

"Shut up it's not that bad," Haruhi snapped hitting my arm.

"Not that bad!" I scoffed, getting another hit from Haruhi.

"THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR LOYAL APPRENTICE NOW LET ME OUTTA THIS CAGE!" Shiro yelled.

_Jeez Lil' dude got some tonsils on him._

"Not until you've learnt your lesson. I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a Host but I guess I was wrong," Tamaki responded calmly, before taking a sip of tea.

"I am serious, totally serious! I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy," Shiro insisted, sounding slightly desperate.

_Why does he want to learn about that sort of thing at his age? Puberty maybe? Ooor there's already someone he's eager to please. Holy Macaroni Shiro like likes some lucky lady!_

"What's with that look on your face Sugar?"

"Nothing," I sang.

When Tamaki didn't respond Shiro collapsed on his knees.

"I'm gonna run out of time, please won't you teach me? You're a Host because you like girls, you like putting smiles on a girl's face. That's why you do it right?" Shiro pleaded then began to use flattery, "Please won't you teach me to be like you. You're a genius at it, you're the King."

"Well, you may be a brat but I admire you desire to become a Host so I'll teach you," Tamaki agreed.

_Of course, flattery always works on Tamaki._

"You know Shiro you and I are so much alike," Tamaki remarked.

"You poor kid," Haruhi remarked, making me laugh a little.

"So you're can teach me how to make any woman happy?" Shiro asked eagerly.

"Of course, making women happy is the sole purpose of being a Host. If this is what you really Shiro then you need to know how to use the materials you already have," Tamaki responded.

"What does that mean?" Shiro queried.

"Ahh, why is it so bright all of a sudden?" I exclaimed covering my eyes when the room's lighting suddenly increased.

"Why does the Host Club do anything?" Haruhi responded

"For dramatic effect!" both of us said stimultaeously

"You see here at the Ouran Host club our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of our guests. For example, there's Tamaki, who is the Princely type. There's the strong, silent type, there's the boy Lolita type, the little devil type and the cool type. It's all about variety. And now the group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the Natural," Kyoya explained.

"The Natural?" Haruhi and I questioned.

_Where did they get the roses from? Why are they different colours? Hang on is this why the twins wanted to know Haruhi and I favourite colours? _

"Are the poses really necessary?" Rossi queried.

"Rossi of course they are! Why else would they do such a pointless act so often," I responded with mock scorn.

"It seems we have a perfect blend of characteristics so it will be difficult to find a new type for Shiro," Kyoya continued.

"If you go by his age he should be the Boy Lolita type," Hikaru started.

"But Honey Senpai has already got that covered," Kaoru finished.

"Is he gonna replace me?" Honey whimpered.

"Aww Honey of course not. If you leave I leave," I comforted, hugging the older boy whilst trying to dry his eyes.

"Oh come on is that all you've got?" a certain prissy pink bow voice echoed through the clubroom.

"Oh no," I whispered in dread, holding a surprisingly light but still whimpering Honey Senpai.

Renge rose on her platform of drama.

"What's up with this place it's supposed to be a music room?" Haruhi muttered beside me.

"Sorry to interrupt gentlemen but what's with the lackluster character analysis. I must say I'm quite disappointed I thought I taught you better," Renge commented, sounding disappointed.

"Alright, then Miss Manager how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters? He can't be the Boy Lolita cus Honey's already got that covered," Tamaki asked irritably, pointing towards Honey and me.

"Hey, Tomuru!" Renge greeted me…enthusiastically? She was smiling and waving happily at me…what the?

"Uh hey," I replied unsurely, giving Haruhi a 'What the fluff was that?' look.

She just shrugged looking just as bewildered as I was.

"You just don't get it do you! Now listen up there are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces. These girls would be considered Shota fans. Now Shota can be a fairly broad category so it is important to know that the genre can be broken into smaller sub-categories. For example, Shota fans who are interested in Lolita boys would favour a boy like Honinosuka Senpai. However, this little boy is different. If I could pick a character for him…yes he'll be the Naughty boy type without a doubt," Renge explained, turning her attention back to the Hosts.

As she spoke Kyoya noted down what she was saying and Tamaki was listening in awe.

"The Naughty type?" Shiro questioned, as he was freed from the cage.

_'__Whistle_ '"Now to play at the Naughty type you have to wear shorts, ok," Renge instructed

_'__Whistle_' "You've gotta have bumps and bruises, give him a couple of scars!" she continued as the twins drew on Shiro's face.

_'__Whistle_' "Run like a spoiled child, make it reckless! Now I want you to trip and make it big!" Renge demanded to which Shiro tripped up on the rope that was set out for him.

"Are you ok little boy?_ '__Whistle_' Now give them your catchphrase!"

"No big deal, it was nothin'," Shiro gave us his catchphrase, in a bad boy voice.

"That was perfect, absolutely perfect Shiro!" Renge praised.

"That was outstanding; I never knew you were such a great coach Renge!" Tamaki commented in awe, applauding Renge, to which Renge laughed that loud, obnoxious, annoying…

"Tomuru, be nice," Kyoya told me.

"How the heck did you…? Oh yeah, you're an evil Shadow lord I forgot."

_Great now Kyoya Senpai reads minds! Will his powers never cease!_

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU PEOPLE!" Shiro shouted in frustration, to which the Hosts turned their attention to him.

"This so stupid none of this is ever going to make her happy. You're all mad except for that black haired girl," Shiro exclaimed before running out of the clubroom.

"Who's her?" Haruhi wondered.

"Wait, Shiro, we haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you've learnt yet," Tamaki called after him.

"I swear younger boys are good for nothing! I went to all that trouble to teach him and he quits!" Renge sighed.

"Did he just say everyone was mad…Except me?" I asked in disbelief making sure I heard right.

"Apparently so," Kyoya confirmed.

"Renge being nice, I'm not considered weird there's only one explanation. I'm in a parallel universe," I decided.

"Apparently so," Kyoya repeated.

"I can't believe he ditched us because he didn't enjoy the lesson. What a selfish little brat," Tamaki commented.

"There are not that many people who would enjoy that kind of lesson. But never mind that did you listen to what he said. He said he was going to run out of time what do you think he means by that? I think that maybe it's a girl," Haruhi responded.

"Of course, it's a girl, why else would he be interested in entertaining girls at his age? Ya know besides puberty," I agreed.

"Tomuru Chan this is for you!" Renge interjected joyfully, placing a large pink box, with a dark pink ribbon tied around it, at my feet.

"For me…wait Chan?"

"See it as a 'sorry for being a meanie' gift. Of course, you only like Haruhi as a friend," Renge continued pleasantly, too pleasantly.

"Uh…thank you this is very…thoughtful," I managed to tell her.

_What is this? Something's not right. There's probably a bomb in there or a cake filled with Sushi!_

I carefully lifted up the present and shook it slightly before placing it back down. It was kinda heavy and there was something solid in there.

_Well if it was a bomb it would go off when I shook it right?_

I glanced at Renge whose mouth was smiling, but her eyes had a flicker of malice. I tentatively lifted the lid slightly, then fully to reveal what she gave me.

"No, no not him anything but him!" I exclaimed in terror-backing away from the gift.

Inside the box was Bernard staring at me like little devils were coming from his eyes with tiny pitchforks ready to stab my terrified blue eyes.

_"__Quack!" _Bernard quacked menacingly.

"NO GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME! RENGE I SWEAR I'M GONNA GET YOU BACK FOR THIS! I'M SORRY FOR SHAKING YOU BERNARD!" I yelled running around the clubroom with Bernard snapping at my heels, as Renge laughed evilly.

"Muhahahaha! That was too easy; Bernard the duck and I have joined forces to make your Haruhi stealing butt miserable!" I heard Renge exclaim through the angry quacks.

"NOOOO! WILL ONE OF YOU GUYS HELP ME OUT HERE!" I demanded, to the others that were just watching me get harassed.

_'__Whistle' _Bernard stopped chasing me and returned to Renge's side. She and Bernard returned to the chasm from once they came and I dropped to my knees in exhaustion and relief.

"How'd she even make a deal with a duck anyway?" I asked in despair

* * *

**Me: So Bernard and Renge are joining forces. Will Tomuru survive? Who knows?**

**Haruhi: Where did Sugar go?**

**Me: I asked her to go down to the shops four hours ago**

**Meanwhile...**

**Tomuru: DAMMIT Again! **

**'Moo'**

**Back in my room...**

**Me: Ah balance has been restored in the universe.**


	18. Episode 6 Part 3

**Me: Next Chapter as promised lovelies**

**Tomuru: Kyoya Senpai where's the Black Magic club?**

**Kyoya: Are you planning on doing something crazy and/or dangerous?**

** , just a little voodoo doll of a certain feathered creature.**

**Haruhi: a voodoo doll of Bernard won't work.**

**Tomuru: I'm sorry I didn't realise you were secretly Nekazowa Dearest.**

**Kyoya: Don't meddle with Black Magic idiot.**

**Me: I thought you didn't believe in that stuff.**

**Tomuru: Course he does he's the evil Shadow lord.**

**Kyoya: Moron**

* * *

"This is a ridiculous plan! How were we talked into this again?" I questioned irritably.

"I agree why are we dressed as Middle School students?" Haruhi backed up.

"It'll be ok you guys. It was so easy to sneak in and wearing this uniform I really do look like I'm in Elementary school," Honey assured.

"Well, there's no denying that Honey, you do fit in, ya know since we are sneaking into an Elementary school," I replied, noticing how well Honey suits the green uniform.

"Still doesn't explain our uniform," Haruhi muttered.

"I think they just wanted us dressed up like this, especially in these mini shirts," I guessed, trying to pull the skirt a little lower.

I spotted the other Hosts hiding in some closet, watching from afar. So I stuck my tongue out childishly at them, to which the twins returned cheekily.

**To add some context…**

"Alright, men it's time to initiate the mission," Tamaki told us earlier today.

"What do you mean?" Haruhi asked.

"What mission?" Honey queried.

"Why aren't the lights on? Why are you guys making those creepy faces? How are you doing that with your eyes and mouths?" I wondered, feeling a little crept out and confused.

"I've assessed the situation we'll infiltrate the Elementary school. You three are going in," Tamaki told us, with a creepy smile and blue sparks for eyes, when the others looked like Jack O' Lanterns.

"But where are we going?" Haruhi and Honey whimpered.

"You haven't explained how you're doing that with your eyes! Is this the shadow lords doing?" I demanded, which in hindsight meant I wasn't really concentrating on the situation at hand.

So the twins dragged Haruhi and me into a changing room and gave us the brown Middle School uniform. Honey was given the green Elementary school uniform.

"Why do we need to wear this if we're going to an Elementary school?" I asked the twins through the curtain.

"Reasons," Was the only reply I got whenever dearest or I asked.

Haruhi was given the wig she wore at the dance party and my hair was put into tight, high pigtails to make me look 'younger'.

**Back to the present…**

"Why do we even bother with disguises we stick out like a sore thumb," Haruhi grumbled.

"Come to one Haru-Chan and Tomo Chan this way," Honey urged dragging the two of us to where Shiro's class was.

"This is it, Shiro Chan's classroom. When I was in Elementary School this was my classroom too," Honey commented when we entered the correct class.

"There's nobody here."

"So the kid's class is empty huh?" Tamaki stated casually, as he and the other Hosts entered the classroom.

"This sure takes me back," Hikaru commented.

"I wonder if there are still doodles on my desk," Kaoru wondered.

"Doubtful the school changes out the desks every year," Kyoya informed.

"Let's check out the cafeteria after this," Hikaru suggested.

"I want to see the old gym," Kaoru added.

"Good idea Kaoru," Tamaki commented.

"Hey if you're just going to barge in here like that then why are we wearing these stupid disguises!" Haruhi whisper seethed.

"Don't worry about," Hikaru waved off.

"There's no one here to catch us," Kaoru assured.

At that moment, we heard footsteps in the hall outside coming towards the classroom. All of us crouched under the tables to make sure we weren't spotted.

"Wow, we're practically invisible," I remarked quietly and sarcastically.

"If the teacher finds us…" Kaoru started.

"We'll have a hard time explaining how we got in," Hikaru finished.

"Silence yourself Tweeds!" I whisper snapped.

"Just keep your lips zipped," Haruhi said, making the zippy lips gesture, which the twins and Tamaki copied.

_Tomato faces… hang on have they always had zips to shut their mouths?_

"Alright, the coast is clear," I told them, looking through the window.

"Guys we came here to get the scoop on Shiro so what do you think we should do now?" Haruhi asked.

"What exactly are we looking for anyway?" I wondered.

"Well here's something interesting," Kyoya interjected, looking at the class photos.

"What do ya evil eyes see?" I questioned, coming to see what he found.

"Hey, that's Shiro," Haruhi commented, all of us looking at the picture of Shiro happily playing the piano with a smiling girl beside him.

"So he's in the Classical Music club," Kyoya said.

"It looks like he's enjoying himself; it's nice to see him with a smile on his face. I had no idea he could look so sweet," Haruhi commented.

"Yeah," Tamaki agreed thoughtfully.

We left Shiro's classroom and headed to the Elementary school's Classical Music club. When we found it I spotted Shiro sitting at a window seat looking out of the window, he seemed deep in thought.

"There he is, there's Shiro Chan," Honey spotted Shiro.

"Excuse me Takaoji? I'm sorry but have you been practising the new piece teacher gave us?" We heard a cute Elementary school girl ask Shiro.

"The new piece? Not really," Shiro admitted to her.

"If you want I can show it to you. Do you want to come play it with me?" the girl offered.

"No thanks, after all, there's only one grand piano. You should use it Komishiro," Shiro replied.

"Thank you I will then. And if you want to join me just let me know," The girl stated, gladly going over to the piano to play the Grand piano.

As she played I couldn't help but notice Shiro smiling contently.

_So this must be the girl Shiro's into._

"Pardon me Mademoiselle. I've never seen a rose more lovely than you, my dear. Here this is for you. I was wondering if you could tell me anything about that young lady playing the piano. Do you know her?" Tamaki used his Host mannerisms to get information from an Elementary girl who left the room Shiro was in.

_Seriously where do the roses come from? I don't think using his Princely charms on a ten-year-old is even legal._

"That's Hina Komishiro," The girl told us.

"Her name is Hina?"

"That's right but you better not fall in love with her," she warned.

_What an odd warning? Why the heck would she tell Tamaki that?_

"Why?" Tamaki asked.

"Didn't you know? Hina is about to move away soon. Her dad just got a new job in Germany so they have to move there at the end of the week," The student explained.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I WANT YOU IDIOTS TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!" Shiro yelled standing outside the music room.

Just then Tamaki picked up Shiro and slung him over his shoulder, all with a straight-faced seriousness.

"PUT ME DOWN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Shiro screamed pausing briefly when Hina was by the door, looking worried, "LET ME GO JUST PUT ME DOWN! WHERE DO YA THINK YOU'RE TAKING ME YOU BIG JERK? AAH PUT ME DOWN!"

"It's time to go gentlemen quit thrashing around," Tamaki stated calmly as we left.

Once we returned to the clubroom Tamaki put Shiro on one of the sofas.

"Why aren't the lights on? Wait…dramatic effect?" I guessed.

"Naturally," Kyoya responded.

"What the hell's your problem you big idiot?" Shiro demanded.

"I'm sorry but you're the idiot. You said you wanted me to teach you how to make women happy but that's not it isn't it? You're not just concerned about the happiness of just any woman. You've got your sights set on one woman in particular. You only care about one and that's Hina Komishiro! But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to help you with that. Listen, Shiro, I know that I told you that it's the job of a Host to make women happy but when you care for someone you must find the courage to express what is in your heart. You must tell her how you feel about her. You didn't come to me looking to become a full-fledged Host, you wanted to be a full-fledged man," Tamaki spoke seriously.

"_'__If you care for someone you must find the courage to express what's in your heart'_. Funny that Tamaki was the one to say it huh Kyoya Senpai?" I remarked, spotting the irony.

"Indeed," Kyoya agreed, with a knowing smirk.

"It doesn't matter anymore I've run out of time. I just wanted to hear her play one last time before she left for good that's all," Shiro spoke in deafeat.

"That piece she played its Mozart's Sanada in B Major for two pianos isn't it?" Tamaki spoke rhetorically unveiling a Grand piano that was revealed by a spotlight.

"Hang on since when is there a grand piano in here?" Haruhi questioned.

"Well, it is a Music room after all…" Kaoru started.

"So why wouldn't it have a Grand piano?" Hikaru finished.

"It is a music room after all," Kyoya repeated.

"It is a Music Room," Mori joined in, rubbing it in.

"It's always been there we just had it covered up," Honey added.

"Alright, guys I think she gets the point!" I remarked at their teasing.

Then Tamaki played the same piece Hina played earlier, which admittedly took my breath away a little. Since when could Tamaki play the piano?

"Awesome," Shiro breathed in awe.

"For the next week, you will spend your mornings, lunches, recesses and free time after school in piano lessons with me," Tamaki told Shiro as he played.

"But why?" Shiro asked.

"You wanted to be my apprentice right? Besides that young lady looked like she wanted nothing more than to play the piano with you," Tamaki answered.

**Friday at the Host Club…**

We planted an invitation for Hina to come to the Host Club today. Our plan was to get Hina and Shiro playing the piano together.

"Welcome, Princess we've been waiting!" We greeted when Hina entered the clubroom.

We all wore matching white suits with red ties; however I wore a white skirt instead of trousers.

"I present to you Shiro Takaoji's piano recital," Tamaki declared, revealing Shiro who was seated at one of the Grand pianos.

Hina looked surprised by the whole situation, which to in all honesty I couldn't blame her for.

"If you please, Princess," Tamaki spoke to Hina pulling the empty seat beside Shiro out for her.

"Let's play together Hina," Shiro offered, smiling pleasantly towards Hina.

"Okay," Hina replied happily.

She sat by the other piano and the two Elementary school students played in sync, the sight was kinda adorable.

"We did a good thing," Tamaki decided, as we all watched the two kids play.

"He loves with all his heart. So I guess that's one more way Shiro takes after you, huh Senpai?" Haruhi commented.

"Why yes, I say so," Tamaki responded, to which Haruhi smiled up at him.

**Inner Monologue **

_They are so smitten it's ridiculous!_

_I agree._

_What the heck? Get outta my head Kyoya! Only Dearest is allowed to telepathically speak with me!_

_How long do you think they'll still be ignorant of each other's feelings?_

_Did you just ignore me?_

_Yes._

_Rude, anyway Haruhi is pretty blind when it comes to guys falling for her. you should have seen her in Middle school._

_Care to wager?_

_I dunno if it'll be wise to make a bet with an evil Shadow lord._

_When have you ever been wise?_

_True… alright, I bet that Tamaki and Haruhi get together at the end of the school year!_

_Very well what will be the victor's winnings?_

_If I win you have to be my slave for a day. If you win I have to be your slave._

_Alright, then the bet is on._

_May the odds be ever in your favour shadow lord!_

**Monday at the Host Club…**

"So you've been exchanging emails with Hina every day now that she's in Germany?" Haruhi asked Shiro, who was surrounded by some of the guests.

"Yeah more or less. I like her but she can be pretty jealous, for an Elementary school girl. She'd be upset if I was with you ladies so let's keep this our little secret." Shiro responded, in his Naughty boy Host mode.

"His girlfriend is so lucky."

"I wish I had a brother just like him."

"Naughty boys are the best."

"I could kiss you," The guests gushed over Shiro.

"You little brat what are you doing those are my guests?" Tamaki seethed.

"Well, they've found someone they like better it's so easy to steal your customers there's a new Host club King in town," Shiro answered defiantly, making Tamaki explode in a fit of anger.

"I thought he'd make it without exploding this time," Kaoru stated, trying to hold Tamaki down along with his brother.

"We shoulda known he was going to blow up sooner or later," Hikaru added.

"Shiro does have a lot in common with Tamaki Senpai. I get the feeling that Senpai was also a spoiled brat when he was a kid," Haruhi commented.

"I was not a spoiled brat! I was nothing like him when I was a kid. I was a sweet innocent, precocious, adorable child. Do you hear me?" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Just once it'll be nice to have a calm day," I sighed.

"Now what would be the fun in that?" Kyoya replied.

"What the heck did I miss? I was only gone for one day?" Rossi demanded.

"Long story brother dear."

"Isn't it always?"

* * *

**Me: Are you sure it was a good idea to make a deal with...what in gods name is that?**

**Tomuru: The voodoo doll of Bernard duh!**

**Me: It looks nothing like a duck. What did you make it out of?**

**Tomuru: Green Play-Doh and it looks exactly like Bernard!**

**Me: A Bernard that needs to be put out of his misery.**

**Tomuru: That's the plan!**


	19. Episode 7 Part 1

**Me: Hello Lovelies next chapter for you as always. I just realised that it was not explained where Rossi was during the previous episode. So Rossi where were you?**

**Rossi: I was over at Tohru's doing a school project.**

**Tomuru: Boring**

**Me: Shut up anyway I don't own OHSHC. Enjoy!**

* * *

**At my house…**

"T, someone at the door for ya!" Yuli called up to me.

"Is it someone important?" I responded, too lethargic to see for myself.

"Get off your bloody arse and find out for yourself!" Yucky snapped.

"DON'T SWEAR!" Rossi exclaimed from his room.

"Sorry R," Yuli apologised.

"Uh, Fiiine!" I droned, making such an effort to get out from under Boris, out of bed and downstairs.

Boris followed me downstairs to investigate the new pair of feet to nibble.

"He's in the kitchen chatting to mum," Yuli told me as we passed on the staircase.

"Alright."

When I went into the kitchen I found 'The Creator' talking to the shadow lord. Boris went straight up to Kyoya and slobbered on some pricey-looking shoes, to which Kyoya grimaced though still patted Boris's head.

"Congratulations you are now Boris approved," I told Kyoya lightly.

"I'm so honoured," He remarked sarcastically.

"I see you've met another one of the Host Club set Creator," I commented leaning on the breakfast bar.

"Five out of six now, I have yet to meet the actual President of this club you're attending," Motherlord responded.

"So what exactly are you doing here Shadow lord?" I asked Kyoya.

"I'm here to pick you and Rossi up," Kyoya replied.

"So this is who you're referring to when you say Shadow lord, I've often wondered," Mum realised.

"You'd understand if you knew him, Creator. So where are we going?" I turned to Kyoya.

"I'm not allowed to say, King's orders," Kyoya replied.

"Darn, fine I'll get Rossi, we can probably go right Creator?" I made sure I got mum's permission beforehand.

"Yes, you're allowed, as long as I know where you're going," She responded, to which Kyoya whispered in her ear.

"Aw C'mon she's allowed to know and I can't!" I protested.

"Yes now I suggest you get ready," Kyoya replied bluntly.

I huffed and ran up the stairs to tell Rossi to get ready. Boris remained at Kyoya's feet.

**Kyoya's Narrative**

"So I take it Tomuru and Rossi talk about the Host Club?" I sussed.

"More Tommi than Rossi, it's now the highlight of my day. There's always something going on in that club of yours isn't there?" Ms Okiro responded lightly.

"There is certainly not a dull moment Ma'am. Could I be rash and ask how your story's getting on?" I asked.

"Such a polite boy, Tommi said that you were a fan. I made a deadline for the end of this year, I'm halfway finished my first write up. Then my personal critics, Haruhi and Tomuru, will read through it."

"I look forward to reading it."

"So a water-park hmm, I look forward to the story Tommi will tell me when she gets back."

"I'm sure today will be eventful as usual. Tomuru and Rossi can swim can't they?" I thought it would be best to ask.

"Didn't Tommi tell you? My eldest Yuliana's a gym/ swimming coach. They both can swim wonderfully," Ms Okiro explained.

"There is still plenty I don't know about Tomuru just yet Ma'am," I replied.

"Hmm well, I'm sure she tell you anything you wish to know if you ask nicely," Ms Okiro said, with a thoughtful expression.

"Alright, we're ready to go to the mystery place," Tomuru interjected, standing by the kitchen door with her younger brother.

She changed from her pyjamas into a pair of knee-length olive green shorts and a blood orange top, with black and purple trainers. Her hair was up in her usual high ponytail. Rossi wore a white and red striped sundress with a red polka dot headband.

"Very well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Ma'am," I politely spoke to Tomuru's mother before we left.

"Please, the pleasure's all mine. Hope to meet the whole set soon," Ms Okiro replied pleasantly.

"Don't wait up Creator," Tomuru called.

"I never do," Her mother responded.

"Rude," Tomuru muttered.

"Of course, we are going in a limo," She remarked when she saw the vehicle I came in.

"Naturally," I responded.

"Sweet!" Rossi cheered, going in first.

"Oooh very fancy," Tomuru spoke in a posh accent, to which I shook my head at her oddness.

"Do you really call your own mother 'Creator' or was you just calling her that because I was there?" I asked as we drove to the water-park.

"Believe me, it wasn't because you were there. She calls mum all sorts," Rossi answered.

"Creator, Oi you, Bearer of Children, Wordsmith but usually I just call her Motherlord," Tomuru listed.

"Your lack of respect for your mother unnerves me," I remarked dryly.

"Hey, just cuz I don't call her mum doesn't mean I don't respect her!" Tomuru argued.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

Kyoya didn't look like he believed me so I tried to look through the tinted windows to see where we were going.

"So we're not picking up dearest then?"

"No Tamaki and the twins are picking up Haruhi," Kyoya informed.

_Kyoya, Kyoya this is your voice of reason. Tell the pretty girl next to you where she's going._

"Nice try," Kyoya remarked, smirking.

"Darn it!" I grumbled.

"What? What did she do?" Rossi asked in confusion.

"Tried to use my mind powers to persuade shadow lord to tell us where we're going," I explained.

"Oh."

_Pretty girl, don't flatter yourself._

_Oi, I heard that!_

_Good _

_Evil, rude shadow lord! I've got so much planned for you when you're my slave. Haven't you forgotten our little wager have you?_

_Of course not, though it will be you who'll be my slave._

_I bet you would put me in that horrid maid outfit, pervert. You certainly thought I was a pretty girl then, didn't you?_

_Shut up idiot weirdo._

"Will you two please just stop with the staring contest?" Rossi snapped in irritation.

"Rossi we were having a conversation!" I groaned.

"Then have your telepathic conversations when I'm not the only other person in the room, or, in this case, limo," Rossi said firmly.

"Alright fine, so where are we going?" I urged.

"Ow jeez, I didn't think you'd result to violence so quickly," I rubbed my leg where Kyoya kicked it.

"Well, you annoy me quickly. I suggest you be patient."

I huffed and turned to the tinted window again. I slowly began to nod off.

"Wake up Tomuru," Kyoya woke me up firmly, shaking my arm.

"We're here?" I perked up like a meerkat pressing my nose to the window.

"It's a waterpark!" Rossi exclaimed excitedly.

"We shoulda took Yuli, she loves water," I commented.

"This is a new water-park my family owns, the Tropical Aqua Gardens. It won't be open until next month, but the Host club got a special permission to try it out," Kyoya explained.

"Is this a practise test before its open to the public, ya know like Jurassic Park?" I guessed.

"Something like that, though no dinosaurs."

"Darn."

The three of us got out and went inside. Rossi ran towards Honey and chattered excitedly. All the other Hosts were there as well as Haruhi. The hosts wore swimming trunks, Haruhi was wearing a yellow pullover and green checked shorts.

"Hello, Smellos!" I greeted.

"Hey we don't smell!" the twins protested.

"It's one of the Sugar's greetings don't take it personally," Haruhi explained.

"Loving the swim shorts guys. Not swimming Dearest?"

"Nah waterparks aren't my thing you know that," Haruhi replied.

"You're swimming right Doggie, Rossi?" Kaoru asked.

"Yeah but neither of us have our swimwear. Since someone wanted to keep it a secret," I accused pointing at Kyoya.

"I told you it was Tamaki who wanted it to be kept a secret," Kyoya pointed out.

"I thought it would be a nice surprise for my darling son and daughter," Tamaki explained acting fatherly again.

"Son?" Rossi queried.

"Welcome to the family!" I cheered.

"Leave the swimwear to us," The twins interjected dragging Rossi and me towards the female changing area.

"Do what you've got to do," The twins told a pair of identical maids.

"Really? Is all your staff identical twins?" I asked.

"Just us Miss Okiro now please follow us," One of the maids stated, to which we followed into the changing room.

The sight that greeted us was rows of racks filled with various variations of female swimwear.

"We brought all of our mother's latest designs to choose from, just pick which one you want," Hikaru told us through the door.

"Sweet!" Rossi cheered, eagerly looking through the different swimming costumes.

One of the maids went with him whilst the other remained with me, picking out random swimming costumes for me to try on.

"What the heck is that?" I demanded pointing to the thing the maid held up.

"A swimsuit of course," She answered.

"It's just a bunch of red strings! Strippers wear more covered up attire!"

"But you'll look so cute in this one," The maid urged.

"YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE IT!" I exclaimed.

"What about this one then?" the maid offered a different swimming costume.

"That looks like it's made of tin foil. I'd bake like a roast chicken in that!" I protested.

"This one?"

"It's giving me a headache. How many patterns does one thing need?"

"Tada!" Rossi interjected, wearing a, one piece, sunset coloured swimsuit.

"Wow, you were quick. At least, you found a somewhat normal swimsuit," I commented.

"I'm gonna head back to the others, don't take too long," Rossi stated before running out.

"Kay… That one!" I spotted a swimsuit that I actually liked, taking it from the rack.

"Oh, good choice Miss Okiro!" The maids approved.

"Whoa! What the heck are ya doing?" I exclaimed when the maids started pulling my shorts down.

"Helping you change out of your clothes?"

"Well, I don't need help thanks. Would ya mind if you gals left? I'd rather not showcase my boobs and Lady Redburn to strangers," I asked.

"Very well," The maids obliged exiting the changing area.

"Lady Redburn?" I heard the Tweeds laugh from outside.

"Shut up Tweeds she's classier than you two!" I shouted through the door, which made them laugh harder.

I changed into my chosen swimwear. It was a black two piece with an orangey red tropical flower on the top piece.

"Right let's go swimming!" I cheered running out of the changing rooms.

"Nice Doggie," Hikaru commented.

"Very nice," Kaoru added, both of them eyeing me up.

"Thank you Tweeds…I think," I replied.

They gave each other a mischievous look before they grabbed me. Hikaru got my arms and Kaoru held my legs.

"Don't you dare!" I growled, knowing full well they were going to throw me in the pool.

"3, 2, 1 THROW!" the twins counted down before they threw me into the current pool.

I quickly held my breath before I plunged into the cool water. I didn't resurface until I saw the twin's lean over in confusion and a little concern. I swam swiftly upwards and pounced, grabbing both Hikaru's and Kaoru's arm and dragged them into the pool.

"GOTCHA!" I exclaimed before I went under with the twins, which I let go off when they fell in.

I resurfaced and tread water, proceeding to laugh along with Haruhi, Tamaki, Rossi and Honey. The twin's resurfaced shortly after coughing and spluttering, leaning on each other and the poolside for support.

"Payback is cake!" I declared.

"Huh?" Honey questioned.

"Delicious!" I added before laughing evilly.

"Weird Doggie," The twins muttered grudgingly.

"Nice two piece Sugar," Haruhi commented as I got out and stood beside her.

"Thanks, why are you wearing that pullover again? I'm sure I've never seen you wear it before," I questioned.

"Yeah what's the deal with the pull over you're wearing?" Hikaru asked.

"Well uh…Alright, basically when I picked out the swimsuit and was about to meet the others when Tamaki Senpai stopped me outside the changing room and made me put on these," Haruhi explained gesturing to her clothes.

"Huh, that's weird," Kaoru commented.

"I would've thought he'd be the one who wanted Haruhi to be in a swimsuit," Hikaru added.

"Maybe he just wanted the sight all to himself," I remarked, winking at Haruhi.

"Yeah," The twins agreed.

"Shut up," Haruhi sighed.

"By the way were you doing anything important before you got kidnapped?" I questioned.

"Well I was planning on studying, plus I have a load of laundry to do today," Haruhi responded in exasperation.

"Oh, so not too busy then," I said lightly, to which Haruhi gave me a quick glare.

"Alright, I'll help you with your laundry Dearest," I offered.

"Thanks, Sugar," Haruhi thanked appreciatively.

"So you're not going to swim?" Hikaru asked whilst eating a banana.

"Hold on you does swim don't you?" Kaoru questioned.

"I can swim just as good as the net guy but this isn't my idea of fun. I'm not too big on water parks we're just going to spend all day goofing off. Honestly, I'd rather be at home. I don't see what's so great about this place anyway? I mean all you really need to play in the water is a plastic pool," Haruhi grumbled.

"Well aren't you a barrel of laughs Dearest? And you accuse me of being lazy," I commented sarcastically.

"A plastic pool what's that?" the twins queried.

"Lesson time Tweeds!" I announced.

"Well let's see they're about this big, round and to use it you need to pump it full of air," Haruhi explained, using her arms to gesture how big a plastic pool is.

"You dunces."

"That's an inflatable boat dummy," Hikaru and Kaoru insulted.

"There's no way you could use it as a pool," Hikaru said.

"Yeah," Kaoru backed up.

"Guys it's a small pool haven't you seen little kids playing in one," Haruhi responded.

"Dearest don't forget they're rich. They could easily afford a normal pool," I pointed out.

"True," Haruhi agreed.

Tamaki then dragged the Tweeds to one side to scorn them.

"You idiots if Haruhi and Tomuru think it's a pool then it's a pool got it? Don't go embarrassing them, they can't help that they're ignorant commoners," Tamaki scorned the twins quietly, all three of them crouching down so that we couldn't hear.

"So are we supposed to lie to them is that what you want?" the twins asked unsurely.

"Did he just call us ignorant commoners?" I asked Haruhi.

"Yeah I can't help but feel like we should be offended by that comment."

"Oooh Harkacha!" I gasped, holding up an imaginary handbag.

"Anyway, I'm going to swim some more," I added, before heading off towards the water-slide.

* * *

**Me: I decided to cut it off there so I can divide this episode into three parts as usual.**

**Tomuru: Those swimsuits will haunt me for the rest of time!**

**Me: So ****over dramatic, like father like daughter.**

**Tomuru: Hey I'm not that dramatic!**


	20. Episode 7 Part 2

**Me: Hello Lovelies. Thank you for reading and reviewing and procrastinating through my story!**

**Tomuru: Guess what I've got!**

**Me: Oh here we go. What?**

**Tomuru: Tamaki's diary!**

**Me: I knew you were going steal something of the Hosts again.**

**Tomuru: Uh huh wanna read?**

**Me: No put it back!**

**Tomuru: Pfft Noooo!**

**Me: Now who's invading privacy! Enjoy lovelies.**

* * *

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Haru-Chan! Wanna share some coconut juice with me? Or do wanna try a piece of the mango cake?" Honey asked he wore a pink bunny rubber ring float.

"Yeah sure I'll share some coconut juice with you," I replied, smiling at Honey's childish behaviour.

Just then I spotted Mori Senpai in the distance looking at some of the tropical birds. He then turned to me as I looked at him like he knew I was staring.

"Never mind that we've got a question for ya," I overheard Hikaru speak to Tamaki.

"Why did you make Haruhi wear that yellow monstrosity?" Kaoru confronted.

"I thought for sure you'd be all '_I wanna see Haruhi in a swimsuit' _not making her cover up like that," Hikaru said.

"It was surprising," Kaoru agreed.

"I know he's what he's up to. He doesn't want anyone else to see her in a bathing suit. Do you really think that's it? He must be one of those jealous pervert types. That's pretty twisted," The twins' stage whispered they got bigger and their eyes glowed yellow.

"That's not it at all. I just wanted to protect her innocence like any father or guardian would. After all, even if she is wearing a swimsuit it is not decent for a lady to walk around half naked in front of boys!" Tamaki flustered waving his arms all over the place.

He froze when the twins pointed to me and realised that I was in earshot the whole conversation.

_Sugar should be here to scorn Tamaki on his outdated views on women._

"Haru-Chan let's play do you wanna go swimming in the current pool with me and Rossi-Chan?" Honey asked, grabbing my arm.

"Nah I'm not gonna swim today. Hold on you know how to swim do you still need that float?" I questioned.

Honey responded by shaking his head before saying, "Just looks cuter this way you know?"

Then he pranced away singing "Prancing, prancing…"

"You're right those bunnies do look pretty cute," I commented, smiling at Honey's cute behaviour.

"He's so innocent," The twins said.

"No way you've got it all wrong!" I heard what sounded like Renge's voice echo differ.

"Is that Renge?" I queried looking around to see where the voice was coming from.

Suddenly one of the huts opened up and Renge rose on her spinning platform, laughing as usual.

"How does she do that it's like the rig follows us?" I uttered in confusion, as well as sweat dropping.

"That outfits pretty impressively," Hikaru commented on Renge's black bikini. She also had a weird tattoo on her stomach and a purple parasol.

"What's with the tattoo on your stomach?" Kaoru asked.

"Oh that you don't recognise it I'm cosplaying," Renge answered.

"Yeah as who?" Hikaru asked.

"La la!" Renge sang.

"La la? Like the Manga magazine?" Kaoru questioned.

"Perfect teeth and slender frame. Her blue eyes that light up men's faces her singing voice. Laaa! I am Kuon Kisaragi!" Renge explained theatrically.

"I wouldn't have guessed," I muttered.

"I had no idea who you were supposed to be," Tamaki said.

Renge then started posing; I assume it for my benefit. How did she make herself sparkle like that? I guess she still has a thing for me.

"Listen up boys! You obviously need help understanding Honey Senpai's hidden motives look!" Renge stated, pointing towards where Honey and Mori Senpai were.

"Takashi!" Honey exclaimed as he jumped into the pool, then he waved and smiled happily at his tall friend.

"What are you talking about?" Tamaki asked.

"Think about what he said to you earlier," Renge remarked.

"He's not being as sweet and innocent as you think," She then continued after we all thought about what Honey said earlier.

"I agree, try putting the word I at the beginning of the sentence," Kyoya interjected.

"He planned that?" the twins, Tamaki and I exclaimed in realisation.

"That's Honinosuka for you! In the last episode, he felt threatened by another Loli boy so he's taking steps to keep his rank. I should give him more credit he's a lot smarter than I thought," Renge commented before going down on her platform to her secret lair or something.

"Hey everybody! Check it out watch even though were swimming really fast we don't go any farther than we are now!" Honey called to us on Mori Senpai's back as he swam in the current pool.

"Mermaid style!" Rossi then called after, before dipping under the pool's surface again.

"So what's up with him?" Tamaki wondered about Honey.

"Could he really be that smart?" I thought aloud.

Just then Tomo glomped me from behind.

"YO! Did I miss anything?" She asked.

"Well, you just missed Renge who made us realise that Honey's not what he seems," I supplied.

"Thank the gods! Was Bernard with her?"

"No."

"Good, wait how'd she get here?" Tomo asked.

"By rising platform as usual," I answered.

"But how? Unless she's some evil magic being like Kyoya Senpai. Yeah, that's definitely it," Tomuru answered her own question.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

After concluding that my human arch nemesis was an evil magic being, I noticed the Tweeds were armed with water pistols. Tweedledum shot a blast of water at an unsuspecting Tamaki's face.

"I gotcha," Hikaru stated smugly.

"C'mon boss let's have a water gun fight," Kaoru urged.

"It'll be me and Kaoru against you. If you get hit in the face you'll lose. What d'ya say?" Hikaru explained.

"No why would I want to subject myself to a childish game like that? Tamaki turned down, drying his face with a towel.

The twins then gave each other the 'stirring up trouble' look before they put their arms over dearest and me.

"Haruhi and Doggie I think it's time that we got married," Hikaru stated loudly.

"Then we'll honeymoon in Otoni," Kaoru added.

"This is to annoy Tamaki isn't it?" I sussed.

It obviously worked and Tamaki got out a water pistol and starting pumping it.

"If you'd think I'd ever let my little girls marry you guys…DADDY SAYS NO!" Tamaki exclaimed aiming his water gun at the twins.

"I'm getting a drink," Haruhi sighed before heading to the tropical hut bar.

"Kay hey I wanna play too! Gimme a gun!" I announced.

"Sure it can be two against two! You better watch yourself Doggie," Hikaru warned throwing me a red water gun, which I didn't manage to catch so I quickly picked it up from the ground.

"Ha, you wish. Each one of your Tweedly faces will be soaked by my water ammo!" I declared aiming the gun at the two of them.

"Aw, father and daughter fighting side by side!" Tamaki gushed in delight.

"Ok let's get this fight going!" I uttered impatiently, shooting a water blast to Kaoru, which he ducked and retaliated with his own attack.

My strategy was mainly to run around manically shooting at anything that looked, Tweed, like.

"I'll get you guys. Sideways sweeping shot!" Tamaki exclaimed, shooting sideways at the twins who shielded themselves with odd long, wood face decoration thingies.

"That's cheating!" Tamaki snapped before he slid on a random banana peel, which made him slide all the way to a tropical ornament thingy and smack his face on.

_That's gotta hurt._

"FEAR NOT FATHER I SHALL AVENGE YOU!" I declared before blasting a jet of water to each of the Tweed's unguarded faces.

"Victory!" I cheered.

However what I didn't realise is that when Tamaki smashed into the tropical post thingy the eyes on the faces glowed red, thus somehow changing the current in the current pool Honey and Rossi were currently swimming in.

_What's everyone looking at?_

I then realised why everyone was looking towards the current pool. A huge wave appeared shadowing Honey and Rossi. Before they could get out the wave crashed down, taking them down into the depths of the pool.

"Honey Senpai, Rossi!" I heard Haruhi shout.

"Mitskuni!" I heard Mori exclaim urgently soon after.

I quickly ran towards the pool, as I saw Mori Senpai do from the corner of my eye. Before I could dive in and rescue them someone grabbed my arms from behind and pulled me backwards.

"Get the heck off me Kyoya!" I shouted, trying to wriggle out of his firm grasp.

"Don't be idiotic, we would have to save you as well as Honey and Rossi if you went in. The current pool is unpredictable at the moment if you haven't noticed," Kyoya stated calmly.

"So? They could be drowning for all I know! I just need to check if they're down there," I responded, feeling paranoid, and desperate for reassurance that the both of them are fine.

"Gentleman we are going after Honey Senpai and Rossi! That pool looks like the quickest way CHARGE!" Tamaki declared before they all ran towards the pool Tamaki pointed to.

"Wait I wouldn't go…" Kyoya began to caution, still holding onto me so I wouldn't jump in.

However, they soon ran back in a hurry exclaiming that they were alligators in the pool.

"Alligators?"

"Alright, we can't use that pool. Then let's try this way next!" Tamaki instructed, again they all ran towards that direction and yet again there were alligators.

"There're here too!" the twins exclaimed in panic.

"And here!" Haruhi also exclaimed.

After Kyoya and I watched everyone get tired of running in circles trying to find an alligator safe route to get to Honey and Rossi, we joined them walking away from the poolside. Kyoya Senpai let go of my arms.

_Evil Shadow lord!_

"What's with all the alligators?" Haruhi asked, still catching her breath.

"Beats me," Tamaki responded also out of breath.

"Yeah, you said there'd be no dinosaurs Shadow lord," I remarked, pointing at Kyoya accusingly.

"Those alligators belong to the tropical animal's exhibit. I suppose it is dangerous to let them run wild," Kyoya started to explain, writing on a clipboard as he spoke.

"Yeah ya think?" I uttered sarcastically.

_Wait this is my chance!_

I slowly edged back to the current pool as Kyoya was busy speaking.

"Though our current problem is the location of the switch to the current pool. I'll have a brief chat with our designers. Thanks a lot you guys I got some great data today," Kyoya finished, actually smiling, not having his usual evil smirk etched on his face like I thought.

"Say what?" the others apart from Mori exclaimed in irritated shock.

When I reached the edge I quickly turned and dived in, taking a deep breath before plunging. I focused all my energy to swimming deeper underwater.

_Jeez, how deep does this pool go?_

After two minutes I started to feel the burn from my lungs through the lack of air getting provided. I managed to see the bottom of the pool floor. However, I didn't see any little brothers or little dudes anywhere. When I could barely hold my breath anymore and my ears began to pop from the pressure I swam down to the pool floor and propelled myself upwards. As soon as I resurfaced I took in a huge breath of air and supported myself on the ledge. I looked up to see the Hosts looking down on me, each with worried expressions on their faces. Except Mori who looked monotonous as usual and shadow lord who glared at me.

"I went all the way down to the pool floor. No little dudes anywhere," I informed getting out of the pool.

"Daughter you were down there for five minutes! We thought something awful happened to you!" Tamaki exclaimed worriedly, giving me a big hug.

The twins and Haruhi joined in with the hug of relief.

"Wow, five minutes huh? I think that's a record for me," I commented.

"Right now that's over shall we get on with rescuing Honey Senpai and Rossi?" Haruhi suggested.

"Definitely," I agreed.

Then we followed Kyoya to one of the water park maps that hung up nearby.

"Well as I was saying we need to get here. I have a feeling that's where the two of them probably ended up. It might be tough because to get there we have to get through this jungle area here," Kyoya explained.

"It looks like there are a lot of undeveloped areas. Any idea what could be lurking in those parts of the jungle?" Haruhi asked.

"Since they're still being developed I'm afraid I don't know," Kyoya answered.

"Whatever could be out there could be more dangerous…"

"…then alligators," Kaoru finished Hikaru's sentences.

"Yeah like Honey badgers or gangs of oddly sentient ducks," I piped in.

"What's a Honey badger?" Hikaru asked.

"Your worst nightmare!" I stage whispered dramatically, which made the Tweeds look at each other nervously.

"Alright, now this is a mission of survival! I know we can get through the treacherous jungle in one piece! It is our sworn duty to save Honey Senpai and Rossi!" Tamaki pep talked.

"How bad can it be? I mean it's just a water park," I wondered.

_My little brother better be alright or so help me I will tear this stupid water park apart! _

**Rossi's Narrative **

I blacked out after the currents bashed me against the poolside. I thought this place was meant to be therapeutic! Anyway, I woke up on dry land with a concerned Honey looking down at me. I coughed up some of the pool water I apparently swallowed.

"Are you okay Rossi-Chan?" Honey asked in concern.

"Uh I feel a little _'__cough'_ groggy but I'm good. Are you ok Honey?" I managed to respond lightly.

"Yep. I had to perform CPR on you, Rossi Chan. You stopped breathing!" Honey informed me, helping me stand up.

"Whoa how long for?" I responded in surprise, to which Honey shrugged.

"Oh well thanks, Honey. You saved my life. Tomo would've torn this place down if anything happened to us," I spoke appreciatively, hugging Honey.

"No need to thank me, Rossi Chan. Everyone will be worried about us so we should probably find our way back kay?"

"Good idea."

Then Honey and I walked through the jungle area to meet up with the others.

* * *

**Me: Tomuru, hand it over now!**

**Tomuru: Let me just read you something then I'll hand it over.**

**Me: Fine just one thing, though.**

**Tomuru: Yes! _(Impersonates Tamaki) '_my pretty daughter looked so cute in her pink one piece swimsuit though of course I didn't want the twin's leering over her so I made her cover up. She even had a cute flowery swim hat to match! So Kawaii! Oh, I do yearn for her to fall for me so...'**

**Me: Alright that's enough of that! Does it actually say Kawaii, though?**

**Tomuru: See for yourself.**

**Me: Unbelievable well till next time lovelies.**


	21. Episode 7 Part 3

**Me: So sorry about the late chapter lovelies! Don't worry I've finished college for Christmas so I can update sooner! **

**Tomuru: ONE WEEK TILL CHRISTMAS! WOOOO**

**Me: Looks like someone's excited. Did you get everyone's presents?**

**Tomuru: Yep hopefully they'll like them. It took ages to find a good gift for some people (shadow lord). **

**Me: Enjoy Lovelies! Hopefully, you guys have broken up for Christmas break as well!**

* * *

"Wow, this place is like a real jungle huh?" Tamaki commented.

"Yeah and I keep hearing all of these strange animal calls," Haruhi noted.

"You don't think those animal calls…" Hikaru started.

"…Belong to the real thing do you?" Kaoru finished nervously.

"I'm not sure but I do know that my family does strive on authenticity whatever the cost," Kyoya responded.

**Inner Monologue**

_Mori Senpai's always so straight-faced I can never tell what he's thinking. But even though he's doing a good job of staying calm I'm sure he's worried._

_I wouldn't be surprised those twos are pretty close._

_Maybe they're childhood friends like us? That could explain their bond._

_Yeah, or they could be related._

_No way they look nothing alike._

_Yeah, you're probably right Dearest._

**Outer world**

Then Mori Senpai slipped on a random banana peel.

"I thought people slipped on banana peels in cartoons?" I thought aloud.

"Mori Senpai is…" Hikaru started.

"Acting as clumsy as you do boss," Kaoru finished.

"Shut up!" Tamaki snapped.

"Yep, he's worried," I whispered to Haruhi, which she nodded in response.

At that moment, I slipped on a frickin' banana peel!

"Ow, that hurt my toosh," I moaned, whilst Dearest helped me up.

"Uh oh, it's about time for the squall," Kyoya informed, looking at his watch.

"What's a Squall? How come it's cloudy all of the sudden?" I queried.

"It's a rain shower Sugar," Haruhi supplied.

"Oh…wait what?"

Suddenly artificial rain hammered down on us. Luckily there was a hut nearby which we quickly ran and sheltered under.

"Why is it raining in an **indoor **water park?" I demanded to emphasise 'indoor'.

"Like I said my family strives for authenticity," Kyoya answered.

"So Mori Senpai you seem to be close with Honey Senpai. Are the two of you like childhood friends?" Haruhi asked Mori.

"You mean you didn't know?"

"That they're cousins," The twins answered.

"You're kidding me you mean they're related?" Haruhi uttered in surprise.

"The Morinosukas have been serving the Honinosuka family for generations," Kyoya interjected.

"However two generations ago the families soon became relatives through marriage and the master/ servant relationship soon became a thing of the past," Hikaru explained.

"Even so Mori Senpai has always made a point to accompany Honey Senpai," Kaoru added.

"Must really get his blood going. The blood of a loyal servant flows like a mighty river through Mori Senpai's veins," Tamaki commented.

"Such a beautiful story I'm touched," The Tweeds sobbed through handkerchiefs.

_Where we they keeping those handkerchiefs? Wait actually, that's an answer I don't want to know._

"Uh, I wouldn't say it was a beautiful story," Haruhi remarked.

"Dramatic as usual," I sighed.

I noticed Mori was looking out at the rain, seeming deep in thought.

"Dearest time to use your consoling powers," I whispered to her, to which she agreed and went up to him.

"Hey, Mori Senpai it's gonna be alright. I'm sure Honey Senpai is safe. He's a lot tougher than you think he is. And if he gets hungry the trees are full of bananas," Haruhi reassured, placing her hand on his arm as an act of comfort.

"Bananas?" the twins questioned.

"What's he going to say?" Tamaki wondered.

"You're right," Mori responded smiling a little, placing his hand on Haruhi's head.

"Don't tell me Mori Senpai's out for my spot as Haruhi's daddy!" Tamaki shrieked.

"Don't worry you still have a daughter spare," I assured lightly, gesturing to myself.

"No one wants that spot but you boss," Hikaru pointed out.

"It's kinda creepy if you think about it," Kaoru opinionated.

"WHAT WHO ARE YOU CALLING CREEPY?" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Ha, you're a big ol' perv," The twins teased.

"SHUT UP I'M NOT A PERV!" Tamaki shouted.

The twins continued to torment Tamaki by chanting "Senpai's a perv for Haruhi" over and over, which of course made Tamaki angrier each time the phrase repeated.

"Hello, it's me. Well, we've got into a situation," Kyoya answered his phone call.

"Well, at least, the rain looks like it's starting to die down," I muttered to myself, looking outside the hut with Haruhi and Mori.

**Rossi's Narrative**

"We should get back to the others soon if we follow the path right?" I guessed.

"Uh huh. I hope we get back soon, though, I'm getting hungry," Honey responded.

Suddenly it started pouring down with rain.

"Why is it raining? We're indoors!" I exclaimed starting to shiver.

Honey ripped off a huge leaf and held it above the two of us.

"We can use this as an umbrella until the rain goes away," Honey stated, linking his arm with mine and continued walking.

"Good idea, then we won't get colds. Though the rain isn't too cold," I commented.

I glanced at Honey who still had the contagious smile he always has.

_Even after almost drowning and the rainy weather he's still joyful as ever._

**Tomuru's Narrative**

The rain died down and the sun shone once again. I still think Ootori's are going to lose money with this squall thing. I mean who wants to be rained on whilst on holiday? Anyway, I entertained myself by watching the twins irritate Tamaki, seeing how red the King could get. However when I glanced beside me I noticed Haruhi and Mori Senpai weren't there. I looked around in confusion until I saw a glimpse of yellow go into the foliage.

_If they think there gonna search for Honey and Rossi without me they've got another thing coming._

I ran out of the hut and into the jungle to catch up to the two of them.

"Dearest? Groot? Hey, wait up!" I called out, yet I couldn't find them anywhere.

"No sign of them might as well retrace my steps and search with…OH ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" I exclaimed looking around to see nothing but plants.

Apparently I went completely off the path and have gotten lost. Just my frickin luck!

"Therapeutic my arse," I muttered in annoyance.

I continued walking forward, more like stumbling, through the greenery, tripping on roots and getting tangled in vines. I almost grabbed onto a ball python, which I assumed was a branch at first glance.

"Jeez Shadow lord really needs to rethink having the animals loose. It's a hazard waiting to happen," I commented.

The python flicked its tongue at me, staring with unusual curiosity.

"Stop staring at me Kaa I am not trusting in you!" I snapped.

However it seemed Kaa took a liking to me, he slithered himself onto my shoulders and continued to stare. His tongue was licking my chin.

"You better not be the poisonous kind of snake. Or is it venomous I should be worried about? I always get those two mixed up…ah well, wanna help me find my way back to the path?" I spoke to Kaa, to which I swear he nodded his head slightly.

"Alright, the new friend let's find my other friends. But if you try and hypnotise me I will make you knot yourself!" I warned.

_That's the first time he's ever called me by my name._

_Dearest, where the frack, are you guys?_

_Sugar Mori called me Haruhi!_

_I know I heard confobulations now answer my question!_

_You're lost aren't you?_

_Of course, I am!_

_Mori's also carrying me._

_What? Why?_

_Cus I freaking out over jungle stuff._

_Oh great does that mean Mori's fallen for you too? Have you got a love hexagon now? Dude, you're a rich magnet aren't ya?_

_Shut up Mori hasn't fallen for me! Even if he has Kyoya Senpai's all yours._

_Now is not the time Dearest! You've still yet to tell me where you two are._

_How should I know? There aren't any signs up._

_Kaa's more help than you!_

_The snake from Jungle Book?_

_Yes, I met him and now he's my friend._

_Holy crap some police dudes has surrounded us pointing their guns!_

_Why the heck are they there? Alright Kaa and I are coming, Mori will protect ya._

_Yeah, he just knocked out one of them._

_Go Groot!_

_That his new nickname?_

_Yep!_

"Takashi! Haru-Chan outta the way!" I heard Honey in the distance.

I quickly ran towards the sound of Honey's Tarzan yell, whilst still holding Kaa. When I emerged from the trees I slipped on another frickin banana peel! Kaa got squished a bit in the process.

"Sorry Kaa," I apologised guiltily as he glared at me.

Once I got back up I saw Haruhi, Mori, Honey and Rossi surrounded by beaten up, a couple unconscious, police dudes. Honey was in the centre of them dusting his hands off.

"You guys should be more careful who you mess with. Picking on my friends is bad got it!" Honey warned though the little pink flowers around him made it difficult for me to take seriously.

"So Honey beat up these guys?" I wondered.

"Yep, it was sweet!" Rossi confirmed, whilst hugging me.

"Are you ok?" I asked in concern before questioning the huge leaf Rossi had with him.

"Yeah I'm good. We used this leaf as an umbrella when it started pouring it down," Rossi responded.

"Good, shame I couldn't see the little dude in action, though."

"Maybe you can ask for a demonstration of his martial arts one day?" Rossi suggested.

"Yeah, good idea!" I agreed.

"Haruhi! Haruhi are you alright?" I heard Tamaki call out.

I looked to see him running towards us with the twins and Kyoya following behind.

"Hey, it's Tama-Chan!" Honey commented lightly.

"Ow wow, you ok Senpai?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked

"HARUHI!" Tamaki squealed launching himself at Haruhi before continuing in relief, "I was so worried."

"So obvious," Rossi sighed.

"So were you with Mori and Haruhi or did you get lost?" Kyoya queried me.

"You already know the answer Shadow lord," I replied in irritation.

"Lost it is then. You have a mark on your head by the way," Kyoya informed pointing to my forehead.

"Well, it's not my fault if there random banana peels on the ground like its fricken Mario Kart!" I snapped rubbing my head.

"Tomuru…" Kyoya started.

"Yeah?"

"Why in god's name do you have a snake?"

"Yeah, I was wondering that," Rossi added.

"He's my new friend Kaa!" I answered tickling Kaa's chin.

"You know you can't keep it," Kyoya stated.

"He's right Tommi ya know Yuli has a phobia of legless animals," Rossi agreed.

"Aww…fine I'll put him back," I moaned, lifting Kaa over my shoulders and hanging him on the nearest tree.

"I'm gonna miss you Kaa," I whispered slowly backing away to where the Hosts were. I'm sure he nodded his head again before he slithered up the tree out of sight.

"What do you mean he was holding back?" I heard Haruhi ask, whilst pinching Tamaki's hand to make him let go of her.

"So then…" Kaoru started.

"You didn't know about Senpai? The Honinosukas are famous for their martial arts. Not only have they helped train the police and SDF forces but also worked with several overseas militaries," Hikaru supplied.

"Honey Senpai, in particular, has been called the dread knot of the Honinosuka family. By the time he was in Middle school he became the national champion in both Karate and Judo," Kyoya informed.

"Impressive," I commented, whilst holding Rossi in a piggyback.

_Wait was that a drum?_

"Mori Senpai's no slouch either. He won the national champion in Kendo when he was just in Middle School," Tamaki added.

_Seriously who's playing that drum?_

"So how were you able to find us Honey Senpai?" Kaoru asked.

"It wasn't hard it didn't take us long to reach the end of the current pool. So we decided to look for you guys," Honey answered.

"We humbly apologise," One of the police people interjected.

I looked to see all the police dudes on their hands knees bowing to Honey, with lots of sweat on them.

"I'm the Second-generation student of the Ischisoga Dojo," The same police person informed.

"I'm a student from the Todaroki Dojo," Another one piped up.

"And I'm from the Otaki Dojo we are in your debt," Another police person added.

"Why is something wrong?" Honey questioned.

"Gee I dunno maybe jumping to conclusions and attacking people," I muttered sarcastically to myself.

"Yes, sir we're so sorry sir. We were unaware that we were searching for Mitskuni Honinosuka. We've committed a terrible offense here," One of the police people apologised guiltily.

"I apologise for this confrontation. But my dojo will be so excited to hear that I came face to face with the great Honinosuka. I cherish this moment," Another spoke out.

"So he is smart. He's deeper than I could've imagined," Haruhi whispered to me.

"It appears so," I whispered back.

"Takashi you did an amazing job of protecting Haru-Chan!" Honey praised, pulling Mori down so he could pat his head.

"I bet you were lonely without me around huh?" Honey continued.

"I don't know if I would say that," Mori answered nonchalantly, to which Honey giggled at.

"You are so cute! Thanks for looking out for my little brother by the way," I stated appreciatively.

"No problem Tomo-Chan. It wasn't as if I was going to let Rossi Chan die," Honey replied casually.

"Uh oh," I barely heard Rossi whisper.

"…Beg ya pardon?"

"Rossi Chan didn't tell you? I gave him CPR cuz he drank too much pool water," Honey supplied before walking towards the main pool area with the others.

"YOU ALMOST DIED!" I exclaimed at Rossi, who I was still carrying.

"Honey's just being dramatic I'm alright," Rossi insisted.

"Well, it's lucky Honey knew CPR," I stated, a little peeved Rossi left that certain information out.

"Yeah," Rossi agreed, before jumping down and jogged up to Honey.

"So where's your friend Kaa?" Haruhi asked as we walked alongside the main pool area.

"Shadow lord and Rossi made me put him back," I replied sadly.

"Probably for the best with Yuli's phobia."

"Yeah…I miss him already."

"Ya know maybe we should go to the beach next," Hikaru suggested.

"Yeah, the beach would be nice," Kaoru agreed.

"You idiots Haruhi's not interested in anything like that," Tamaki remarked.

"Actually, I might like to go to the beach. I may not be into this silly water parks but I like the ocean. It would be nice to go the beach. And it's so pretty," Haruhi interjected, agreeing with the Tweeds.

"Yeah alright then that's where we'll go next time," Tamaki declared, completely changing his opinion.

"We're all going to go to the beach, Tama-Chan? That'll be fun don't you think?" Honey asked Mori, who was carrying Honey on his shoulders.

"Yeah," Mori answered, smiling a little.

"Eh the beach is relaxing I guess," I halfheartedly commented.

"Not the beach type Tomuru?" Kyoya questioned.

"The beach is alright. I'm just not a fan of the sea life. Crabs, oysters, fish, clams that sorta thing," I responded.

"Ah because of your allergy," Kyoya realised.

"Yep."

**Back in the limo…**

"So overall what did you think of the Tropical Aqua Gardens?" Kyoya inquired.

"Let's just say it's a good job you don't have dinosaurs otherwise, we'd be eaten by now," I answered, with Rossi sleeping on my shoulder.

"You mean having the animals run loose?"

"Exactly, probably best to section them off from customers. Also, will it hurt to have a few signs up?" I stated.

"Alright, I bring up those points with the designers."

"Good."

* * *

**Me: I kinda promised my little sister that she can be in a couple of these parts. So without any further ado...**

**Tomuru: I want to introduce her!**

**Me: Alright go ahead.**

**Tomuru: So without any further ado here's MICHELLE!**

**Michelle: Hello Smellos**

**Tomuru: Hey that's my thing!**

**Michelle: You have a lot of things. Besides, I made up that greeting first!**

**Tomuru: Nuh uh!**

**Michelle: Ya-huh! I greet my friend Emily that way!**

**Tomuru: I'm calling Baloney!**

**Michelle: It's true to tell her!**

**Me: I'm...I'm not getting involved**

**Haruhi: Good call**

**Me: Anyway until next time Lovelies!**


	22. Episode 8 Part 1

**Me: Happy New Year Lovelies! Hope you had a great Christmas.**

**Tomuru: Tell them what I got you!**

**Me: Tomuru got me a dog plushie that looks like my dog Lola. It's pretty cute, to be honest.**

**Tomuru: I got a huge snake plushie from her! I called him Desmond the second!**

**Me: What did you get the Hosts?**

**Tomuru: I'll tell ya when the chapters finished. I got Motherlord this thing that can allow you to read lying down, Rossi got a Tiana princess costume cus that's his favourite Disney princess. Also, I got Marcel a new manikin because his old one was losing limbs and I got Yuli an exercise ball!**

**Me: A lot of thoughtful gifts then. As always enjoy this chapter lovelies and I don't own the anime or manga of OHSHC. I've just finished reading the manga and it's amazing!**

* * *

"The beach?" Haruhi questioned.

"Of course, the beach!" the twins responded.

"But why?"

"Have you forgotten Dearest? You said you'd quite like to go to the beach. So of course, we're going," I reminded her.

"Did I say that?"

"Yes Haruhi, here's the fun part!" the twins said.

"We've brought some swimsuits for you to choose from. Pretty cute don't ya think?"

"Just pick whichever one you want."

"Where did all those manikins come from?" I wondered, only noticing now the manikins dotted around wearing different swimwear.

"You and Rossi get to pick swimwear as well Doggie," Tweedledum added.

"Sweet! Wanna help me pick?" Rossi asked Honey.

"Kay!" Honey agreed and the two of them looked through the swimwear that was Rossi sized.

"Can't I just wear my own?" I asked.

"Nope!" the twins denied.

"We have picked out two cute swimsuits for you and Haruhi," Kaoru said.

"Can't I just wear the one I wore at the water park?" I asked.

"Nope!" the twins repeated.

"I think this one would be much cuter on Haru-Chan," Honey piped in holding a light blue sailor type one piece.

"I don't think you get it Honey Senpai," The twins disagreed.

"Just look this uniform barely hides the fact that Haruhi is as flat as a cutting board," Hikaru began, the twins were holding up Haruhi for emphasis.

"A one-piece suit like that would upset her because it draws attention to her lacking feminine physique," Kaoru continued.

"That's why we carefully selected this two piece suit. The ruffles help hide the fact that she's so flat chested," The twins concluded gesturing to a light pink ruffled two piece.

"Oh, so you basically want a swimsuit that makes Haruhi a cup size larger…frickin pervs," I summed up.

"This is your swimwear Doggie," The twins spoke to me.

They revealed another two piece swimsuit, dark pink that looked like a thong and two small triangles held together by string.

"OW!" the twins exclaimed when I thwacked the pair of them.

"No way in hell am I wearing that," I refused firmly.

"We just wanted you to flaunt your feminine beauty," Hikaru excused poorly.

"Yeah I bet you did. I'm gonna go with the one Honey picked out it's less revealing," I decided.

"Really?" Honey gasped in excitement.

"Of course, I quite like the swimsuit you picked out," I replied.

"You punks better stop harassing my little girls. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!" Tamaki exclaimed, holding a baseball bat for some reason.

"So does that mean we're not going to the beach?" the twins queried cautiously.

"Who said we're not going?" Tamaki responded.

"Really so you want to go after all?"

"Can Usa Chan come too?" Honey asked innocently.

"I see no problem with that," Kyoya replied.

"Huh? We're really gonna go?" Haruhi spoke in surprise.

"Why not? Let's go to the beach!" Tamaki declared.

So this weekend we were going to the beach.

"So which beach are we going to?" I asked.

"Do you have a passport?" Kyoya questioned.

"Yeah Rossi and I have passports, dearest doesn't though," I answered.

"So overseas beach will be out of the question as I thought. We'll go to Okinawa; my family owns a private beach there," Kyoya decided.

"Huh didn't think your family would be the beach type."

"There is very little you know about my family."

"Correction I know zilch about your family."

"I thought you knew that my family has a private police force?"

"What? Shadow lord has minions. Wait…so that's where those police guys came from that Honey beat up," It dawned on me.

"Yes, you only just know realised that?" Kyoya scoffed.

"Well, no one told me!"

"Moving on the guests will be leaving soon so could you hand out these invitations to them as they leave?" Kyoya requested handing me a bunch of pink envelopes.

"Sure thing. Hold on the guests are coming too?"

"Yes as per the King's instruction."

"Guess that means the twins don't get to see Haruhi in a swimsuit after all," I chuckled.

"Indeed."

I did as requested and handed the invitations to the guests as they left the clubroom.

"Oh what's this?" a guest asked curiously.

"A trip the Hosts have planned for you ladies," I answered.

"All the invitations are handed out Senpai sir," I told Kyoya, saluting.

"Good it'll be interesting to see how the others will react," Kyoya replied with his trademark evil smirk.

"Wait, you mean the other Hosts don't know that the guests are coming?"

"Aside from Tamaki no."

"Uh, Doggie what were you handing out to the guests?" Kaoru asked.

"Invitations to the beach as per the Shadow lord's request," I answered.

"WHAT? THE GUESTS ARE COMING WITH US!" the twins exclaimed.

"Our darling guests deserve a trip to the beach," Tamaki interjected.

"Plus it will ensure that the girls will continue to be regular guests," Kyoya added.

"That means Haruhi can't change into her swimsuit," Hikaru complained.

"Oh no how awful," Haruhi remarked sarcastically.

"Yes, what a tragic shame," I commented sarcastically along with her.

"Oh well, at least, we get to see Doggie in a cute swimsuit," Hikaru shrugged.

"Speaking of that Rossi which one did you pick?" I asked.

"This one," Rossi replied holding up a one piece swimsuit with a tuxedo design on it, which was kinda ironic.

"That's the only way to get you into a tuxedo," I laughed.

"Yep."

"Why don't you two try them on?" Hikaru suggested.

"Yeah," Rossi agreed to drag me to the changing area.

"Is it a bit weird that the twins know my swimsuit sizes?"

"He could've got your size from the cosplay you wear," Rossi guessed.

"Oh yeah," I realised.

I pulled the curtains to one side so Haruhi could see.

"That swimsuit really suits you Sugar," Haruhi commented.

"Thanks, Dearest."

"Check it out I look like a smart penguin!" Rossi interjected, wearing his swimsuit.

"You sure do," I agreed.

"So they fit?" the twins asked, coming into the changing area with the other Hosts following behind.

"Yep," Rossi and I answered.

"My darling son and daughter look so precious!" Tamaki gushed, hugging me tightly.

"My precious," I quoted Gollum, complete with the croaky voice.

This made Tamaki let go of me, looking terrified.

"Why did you do that scary voice?" Tamaki whimpered.

"You said precious so I did a Gollum impression," I answered, to which I got blank stares.

"Gollum, Lord of the Rings? Well-known fantasy film worldwide? No? Never mind," I tried to clarify.

"They haven't watched the film Sugar," Haruhi muttered.

"Still it's general knowledge," I stated matter of factly.

"Right you two better get changed," Haruhi stated.

"Yeah, good idea," I agreed.

When I got changed into my uniform I sat with the others, who were planning beach activities.

"Tomuru may I have a word?" Kyoya asked.

"Ok?" I replied going over to where Kyoya sat.

"Do you have any pictures of Haruhi in Middle School?" Kyoya requested.

"Yeah I have…what done you want them for?" I answered in suspicion.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Kyoya warned.

"Well if it's not for that reason, which I doubt, what do you want pictures of Haruhi for?" I asked.

"That is none of your concern."

"Well, you don't sound like a pervert at all," I snarked.

"All right you know how the trio of morons always makes a competition of everything."

"Almost everything yeah?"

"I just wanted to make whatever petty competition they come up with more interesting," Kyoya explained.

"Ok fine. I'll email them to you when I get home," I agreed.

"Here's my email address," Kyoya replied.

"Ok," I put the paper Kyoya handed me in my skirt pocket.

**Driving to the beach…**

"So why are we going to Okinawa?" Hikaru asked.

"Because Kyoya's family has a private beach there," Tamaki answered.

"But why couldn't have we gone to the Caribbean or even Fiji?" Hikaru responded.

"Do you think a commoner like Haruhi owned a passport?" Kyoya interjected.

"Rude," I muttered to myself.

"It's beautiful." Honey commented looking out of the window, Rossi nodded in agreement.

"So this is your summer home?" I assumed as the limo came to a stop at a large beach house.

"Yes, this is my family's summer home," Kyoya confirmed.

"Tis big but not big enough to fit both the Hosts and the guests," I pointed out as I got my rucksack.

"The guests are staying at a first class hotel nearby," Kyoya informed.

"Oh."

"I can honestly say I've never been in a house like this before," Haruhi commented.

"Same here, we'll be setting foot in unknown territory. Our wits must be kept about us. We will be observing the rich species up close in a casual environment," I responded, impersonating a documentary narrator.

"Ah instead of usually observing the rich species in a school environment," Haruhi added before we laughed.

"Must you always act so silly?" Kyoya sighed.

"I dunno must you always act so cold hearted?" I retaliated, to which he shook his head and walked away from us.

"He couldn't come up with a good comeback," Haruhi whispered to me.

"I know," I whispered back smirking.

When we entered the house the interior was exactly how I pictured a rich summer home would be like except…

"Hey shouldn't there be maids and butlers?" I questioned.

"The staff that usually upkeep this place are either ill or taking their holiday," Kyoya informed.

"Oh, so we're cooking and cleaning up after ourselves?"

"Yes."

"Right well Haruhi and I aren't doing all the work," I stated firmly.

"Don't worry Tomo-Chan, Takashi and I will help," Honey offered.

"Aw thank you, Honey," I replied.

"Shall I show you guys your rooms?" Kyoya offered.

"Lead the way Shadow lord."

Kyoya showed each of us our bedrooms. Mine was in between Haruhi's and Kyoya's room.

"Holy crap I get a balcony!" I gasped excitedly.

"So glad that you like it," Kyoya droned sarcastically before closing the door and leaving me to marvel at having my own bathroom.

"This bed is huge! I could have Boris on here and I could still sleep starfish style."

"Do you get a bathroom too?" Haruhi asked, coming through the door in between our rooms.

"We get a door in between rooms!"

"Yeah, your bed is huge," Haruhi commented.

"I know let's bounce on it," I suggested.

"…Kay," Haruhi agreed.

"This is really bouncy I feel like Tigger," I commented.

"Yeah I feel like I'm gonna go through the ceiling," Haruhi replied.

"Tomuru the guests are…what are you two doing?" Kyoya asked.

"Bouncing on the bed, it's really bouncy!" I answered.

"If you break the bed it goes onto Haruhi's debt," Kyoya stated.

"Oh come on we're not that heavy," Haruhi said, jumping off the bed.

"Well, the guests have settled in their hotel rooms and have arrived at the beach. We have to meet them there," Kyoya informed.

"Ok, I better get into my swimsuit," I said jumping off the bed.

However instead of landing on my feet like Haruhi did I slipped and fell on my face.

"Fuzzy tarsiers!" I swore.

"Idiot," Kyoya sighed before walking off.

"You ok Dearest?" Haruhi asked, getting a tissue for my nosebleed.

"Yeah, you know it's not the first time I fell jumping off the bed," I answered.

"True, I think you've just got a nosebleed."

"Just a nosebleed," I mumbled.

"I'm gonna greet the guests or Tamaki Senpai will pitch a fit."

"You better change into something more boyish. I think the purple skirt will give your gender away," I advised.

"Yeah, good idea," Haruhi agreed.

"I'll meet you down there," I called after her.

After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped and I changed into my swimming costume.

"Beach time!" I declared to myself, grabbing my towel and bag before meeting up with the others.

* * *

**Me: So what did Tomuru get you guys?**

**Haruhi: Sugar gave me both shopping coupons and the friendship coupons she makes me for birthdays and Christmas.**

**Tamaki: my daughter gave me a world's best dad mug! I love it!**

**Me: Aww that's kinda sweet.**

**Hikaru: Doggie gave us both Tweedledum and Tweedledee cosplay.**

**Kaoru: But we got her a dog outfit with a lead so it's even.**

**Honey: Tomo Chan gave me a Christmas cake she made, it was yummy!**

**Me: Of course what did she give you Mori?**

**Mori: A Christmas jumper for my Tanuki.**

**Me: Aww so that just leaves Kyoya.**

**Kyoya: She gave me a Shadow Lord cosplay which I will not be wearing. Ever.**

**Tomuru: Yes you are Marco and I spent ages on it! I shall make you wear it one way or another!**

**Me: Well I look forward to that. Have a good 2015 lovelies!**


	23. Episode 8 Part 2

**Me: Hello Lovelies thanks so much for being patient with me. As well as a big thank you for reviews follows and favourites your support means a lot!**

**Tomuru: I AM MELON LORD!**

**Me: Sorry Tomuru's re-watched Avatar the last Airbender and now she randomly shouts quotes from it.**

**Tomuru: DRINK CACTUS JUICE! IT'LL QUENCH YA!**

**Me: Oh for crying out loud.**

**Haruhi: She's still in Avatar shouty mode I see.**

**Me: Yep**

**Tomuru: WANNA GO PENGUIN SLEDDING WITH ME?**

**Me: Well enjoy this chapter lovelies **

**Tomuru: HONOUR! **

* * *

When I went downstairs there was only Kyoya there to meet me.

"The others went to entertain the guests?" I guessed.

"Yes."

"You didn't have to wait for me ya know."

"Wrong knowing you you'd get lost."

"…Fair enough let's go," I agreed.

"How come you don't wear swim trunks Shadow lord?" I asked as we headed to the beach.

"I have no interest in such menial activities," He replied.

"You can swim though right?"

"Of course."

"Alright just wondering."

We met up with everyone at the beach. I saw that the twins were playing volleyball with a couple of their guests. Honey Senpai and Mori Senpai were doing exercise Zumba thing with a few of their guests, including Rossi.

"The nosebleed went?" Haruhi asked as I laid my towel beside hers.

"Yeah," I confirmed, laying on the towel and propping myself with my elbows to observe what was going on around me.

"Alright, your alone time with Tamaki is up. The next lady please proceed," I heard Kyoya instruct.

Tamaki's guests were waiting in line for one to one flirting sessions with Tamaki. I redirected my attention to the Tweed's volleyball match.

"Hey take it easy Hikaru!" Kaoru protested, running after the ball rolling along the beach.

"I'm sorry I'll get it!" Hikaru called running after Kaoru

"Wait for me Kaoru," Hikaru moaned.

"It's not my fault the ball is rolling away," Kaoru laughed in response.

I wolf whistled at the brotherly love act as usual before looking back at the volleyball net thoughtfully.

"Whatcha thinking about Sugar?"

"Wanna beat the Tweeds at volleyball?" I suggested.

"Nah I just wanna relax as much as I can," Haruhi declined casually.

"Eh, you're not the best at volleyball anyway," I shrugged off.

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna ask Rossi," I decided, getting up and searching for him.

"Hey wanna beat the Tweeds at volleyball?" I asked Rossi, who just finished making a sandcastle.

"Yeah, it'll be like siblings Vs siblings!" Rossi agreed eagerly.

"Yes! Tweeds," I called to the twins as I jogged up to them.

"Yeah, Doggie what d'ya want?" Hikaru asked.

"We wanna play volleyball. Okiros Vs the Tweeds," I challenged.

"You're on!" the twins agreed.

We played two matches against the twins, each team scoring one point each.

"That's one game won each. Let's make this the final game," I suggested, dusting off some sand off my leg.

"We're gonna beat your asses Okiros!" Hikaru stated determinedly.

"NO SWEARING!" unless you want a repeat of the last beating I gave ya," Rossi warned.

"Sorry," Hikaru quickly apologised.

"Kay let's get this game going!" I interjected throwing the ball in the air, hitting to their side of the net.

"Hey, we weren't ready!" Kaoru complained, counter hitting the ball towards Rossi.

This game was intense; we played for what seemed like ages until…

"YES!" Rossi and I cheered as Hikaru missed the ball, giving us the winning point.

"No way!" the twins exclaimed.

"Good game Tweeds but I'm gonna relax with dearest for a bit," I spoke lightly, as they were in their dark auras.

"Your swimsuit is gorgeous Tomuru," One of Haruhi's guests commented as I sat beside Haruhi.

"Thanks, Honey Senpai picked it out from a bunch of swimwear the twins showed me," I explained.

"Um Haruhi aren't you going swimming with us?" another guest requested.

"Well uh, I like looking out at the sea from a safe distance," Haruhi responded politely.

"Well if you're not going to swim would you mind if we sit and talked with you?"

"But why? You girls should go swim. You've got cute swimsuits on why not show them off," Haruhi stated charmingly, making the three girls.

_Guess Dearest is the natural type._

As Haruhi continued to entertain her guests I turned my attention to Hikaru, who I heard complaining.

"I can't believe he fooled us."

"Who knew he'd bring the ladies with us?" Kaoru added.

"We certainly didn't expect it," Hikaru replied.

"You were invited on this all expense vacation for a reason. And that is to keep our clients entertained," Kyoya interjected.

"We know but with the ladies here…" Hikaru started.

"Haruhi can't change into her swimsuit," Kaoru finished.

"Don't worry I have it all under control. My little angel shouldn't be parading around in a swimsuit. At least not in front of two perverts like you," Tamaki stated.

Then he went into his little Tamaki world.

"It'll happen just like that, the greatest day of my life. I don't know if I can handle it!" Tamaki prattled, his face bright red as he wriggled in his beach chair like a lovesick worm.

"What's the matter with Tamaki? Is he having a seizure?" One of Tamaki's guests asked in concern.

"Don't worry about it, he gets like this occasionally," The twins assured casually.

"I'm guessing he's thinking about Dearest," I interjected, standing beside the Tweeds.

"Yeah," They agreed.

"Haru-Chan, Tomo-Chan wanna come hellfish shunting with Rossi Chan and me?" Honey called out to us.

"Hellfish shunting? Don't you mean shellfish hunting?" I corrected, going over to Honey along with Haruhi.

"This doesn't seem like the kind of beach Honey Senpai. You're not gonna find many shell…fish," Haruhi paused in surprise when we saw that Honey and Rossi were surrounded by shellfish.

"WHAT THE HELL? NO WAY!" Haruhi exclaimed in surprise.

"NOPE!" I shouted making a cross with my arms, before running away.

"Sorry, Tomo-Chan I forgot about your allergies," Honey called after me.

I ran to the safety of my beach towel and caught my breath. I found out the source of the shellfish came from a huge black police van, with Kyoya's face on it. A group of police people were carrying buckets of the death critters.

"Uh Shadow lord why are your private police dudes infesting the beach with shellfish?" I questioned, eyeing the buckets warily.

"Well as I told Mori Senpai they wanted to repay Honey Senpai for attacking him at the water park," Kyoya answered, smirking at my squeamish expression.

"So they brought shellfish?"

"So they brought shellfish," Kyoya confirmed.

"Riiight," I drawled, before returning to the safety of my beach towel.

As I walked passed I heard Honey and Haruhi conversing.

"Amazing look how many we got!" Honey commented.

"We're going to have some fancy side dishes tonight. It's gonna be delicious," Haruhi responded cheerfully.

_Good job I packed ramen or I'd go hungry whilst everyone stuffs their faces with crabs._

"My, my, it certainly looks like they're enjoying themselves. All is right with the world," Tamaki commented.

"Hey, sugar dinner's gonna be awesome!" Haruhi called happily to me.

"Yeah for you maybe!" I called back.

"Senpai dinner's gonna be awesome! It's a major haul!" She then called to Tamaki.

"It's a major haul! Dinner's gonna be awesome! It'll be a real treat!"

"I'm sorry what's dinner gonna be again?" I asked sarcastically.

"Awesome apparently," Kyoya responded sitting beside me, equally sarcastic.

"Tell me Haruhi isn't this crab…crabtivating?" Tamaki asked her as he held up a red crab.

"Was that a pun?" I groaned.

"Oh yeah," Haruhi laughed at Tamaki's puns.

_They both seem to like puns. They belong together._

"You're so cute," Tamaki cooed.

Then he froze when a centipede crawled up the crab.

"CEN-"

"TI-"

"PEDE!" the guests squealed in fright, everyone ran away from Tamaki.

"It's just a centipede," I muttered, shaking my head at the overreaction.

As Tamaki whimpered with fat tears rolling down his face, Haruhi calmly picked up the bug and was about to throw it over the rocks.

"Wait Gimme!" I demanded, making a grabby hand gesture.

"Alright?" Haruhi obliged placing the centipede in my hands.

I smiled as it crawled over my hands but then it bit me.

"Ow, you son of a bush baby!" I exclaimed, throwing the centipede over the rocks.

"Hey, Doggie." The twins started, slinging their arms over my shoulders.

"Now I know that most girls aren't the bug lovin' type and I certainly didn't think you and Haruhi were but…" Hikaru started.

"Couldn't have you been easier on that little guy? Kaoru finished.

"Hey, I like bugs! Besides that little bugger bit me," I defended myself.

"Anyway, it takes a lot more than that to kill a bug," Haruhi added.

"Haruhi is so brave and manly," One guest gushed.

"And yet still so sweet," Another sighed.

"Tomuru is also brave. Those two, are so cute together."

_Damn, I thought they forgot about the whole 'thinking I'm in love with Haruhi' thing._

I left the guests to 'Moe' over Haruhi and stood by the twins.

"Well isn't that just great," Hikaru stated irritably.

"Haruhi and Doggie aren't normal I thought girls were afraid of bugs," Kaoru stated.

"Hey stop stereotyping! Tamaki was scared too. And I couldn't help but see you two running away," I pointed out.

"I was not!" Tamaki denied in embarrassment.

"We did not!" the twins also denied.

"I'm sure they're afraid of something," Tamaki muttered.

The twins looked like they had another game up their metaphorical sleeves.

Hey, boss we've thought up of another game to play that could be a lot of fun. What d'ya say?" The twins told Tamaki.

"It's called the whoever can find out Haruhi's and Tomuru's weakness game. Think you're up to it?" They continued.

"You guys are evil," I commented.

"But that game sounds terrible," Tamaki objected.

"I guess you're right beside, Haruhi would only share her weakness to someone she's really close to," Hikaru manipulated, as the twins walked away.

"What are the rules?" Tamaki asked urgently.

"Now that's more like it! The deadline is sunset tomorrow. Whoever can find out Haruhi's and Doggie's weakness wins," The twins explained.

"And I've got the perfect prize for the games lucky winners," Kyoya interjected, holding up the pictures I sent him of Haruhi and me in Middle School.

Tamaki was fuming, demanding the source of the pictures, as Kyoya held them up away from his reach.

"We wanna play too," Honey spoke up.

"I guess that means we're all competing. Rossi you're not allowed, to say anything," Kyoya stated.

"I wasn't planning on it," Rossi replied.

"I thought you guys know my weakness," I spoke up.

"Raw fish and shellfish are just your allergies, not actual fears," Kaoru told me matter of factly.

"Yeah, allergies don't count. We want your deep, dark fear," Hikaru added creepily.

"Hold on where did you get those pictures Kyo-Chan?" Honey questioned.

"I have my sources why don't we just leave it at that for now," Kyoya answered.

"_'__Cough'_ pervert 'cough'," I masked through a fake cough.

**So tomorrow the game commenced…**

"What were you guys talking about yesterday?" Haruhi asked as I sunbathed.

"Oh yeah, the guys are doing one of their games again," I answered.

"Oh," Haruhi left it at that.

"Hey Haruhi, Doggie wanna explore the cave with us?" Hikaru offered, with him was Kaoru and a couple of their guests.

"Yeah ok," Haruhi agreed.

"Yeah! Help me up Dearest," I requested.

After she pulled me up we headed to the cave, flashlights at the ready.

_What are the twins planning?_

"This is the place. This is the most haunted spot in all of Okinawa. The locals don't even come down here," Hikaru talked as we walked through the cave.

"They say you can only come down here at low tide. Evidently many people have died down here from drowning. And their souls still linger taking revenge on anyone that happens to come inside," Kaoru continued.

"Look!" Hikaru suddenly exclaimed, pointing to a monster puppet with glowing pink eyes.

The guests screamed and clung onto each other. Haruhi, however, was unfazed.

"AAAH! It's so repulsive!" I exclaimed, pointing at Kaoru, who was controlling the puppet.

"Haha, you're hilarious," Kaoru remarked sarcastically.

"What's going on? Are you guys trying to freak me out?" Haruhi asked Hikaru, who placed a fake hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong with you two? I thought everyone was afraid of ghosts," Kaoru said irritably.

"But I've never seen a real one," Haruhi responded logically.

"Where did you get these anyway?" I wondered holding the puppet.

"Just a shop nearby," Hikaru answered casually.

"Right well now that you've successfully scared your guests I think we should go," I commented, pointing to the shaken up girls.

As the twins left comforting their guests Haruhi and I followed behind, leaving the twins props in the cave.

"So they're trying to find our fears?" Haruhi sussed.

"Yep, hopefully, they won't find out my fear," I confirmed.

"Yeah same here."

"I doubt they would find yours unless they can somehow control the weather," I pointed out.

**Later that day…**

"Haru-Chan, Tomo-Chan can you come over here for a second?" Honey called us over.

"Guess it's Honey's turn now," I commented, walking over with Haruhi to the police van.

"What the…?" Haruhi muttered.

"Could you two come up here for a sec?" Honey asked, giving us the doe-eyed look that I can't say no too.

"Is it safe to drive a truck like this on the sand?" Haruhi questioned as we climbed up.

"Probably not," I shrugged.

"Well, we're ready whenever you are private police people. Please lower the door," Honey instructed.

"Yes sir!" they saluted, which was the last thing I saw until I was shut in complete darkness with Haruhi and Honey.

"IT'S DARK AND SCARY IN HERE I DON'T LIKE IT! I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! AAAHHH!" Honey yelled, flapping his arms around madly

"Ow, Honey sweetie please calm down," I tried to comfort, whilst holding my face as Honey hit it by accident.

"For god's sake, someone open the door!" Haruhi snapped, to which the door opened and Honey ran out in tears.

"Aww, poor Senpai."

"Poor Senpai? What about you? You have a bruise on your forehead," Haruhi noticed when we got off the police van.

"Honey accidently hit me as he flayed his arms around in fear," I explained.

"Does it hurt?"

"Throbs a bit but I'm ok," I assured.

"Good."

Once Honey calmed down he happily played in the water with Rossi. Mori Senpai used this opportunity to try and scare Haruhi and I. By holding a spear at us.

"Uh, Mori you're my Senpai, not a Sentai," Haruhi commented.

"Eugh you know I hate puns," I moaned.

"Gimme Groot," I asked Mori, making grabby hands at the spear.

"No! Never give Sugar a weapon. Ever!" Haruhi denied firmly, pinning me down.

Mori nodded in agreement before walking away.

"Aww," I pouted.

After a while the sun started to set, making the beach look pink and orange.

"I love sunsets," I sighed, looking up at the sky dreamily.

"Yeah only cus you never wake up early enough to see the sunrise," Rossi pointed out, lying beside me.

"Maybe I'm scared of mornings," I joked.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Rossi replied.

"Is she still collecting crustaceans?" I scoffed, watching Haruhi collect shellfish by the cliff contently.

"She's gonna get fat of seafood."

"Yeah, crabs will go extinct at this rate," I laughed, before daydreaming at the sunset once more.

_I never felt so relaxed._

"THOSE AREN'T RAT SNAKES! THOSE ARE POISONOUS HABU SNAKES!" I heard the twins exclaim, running away from Tamaki who was holding a bucket of snakes.

"What the…?" Rossi muttered in confusion.

_Of course, the peace wouldn't last. Wait…DEAREST!_

Haruhi was in danger I could sense it! I think it's a best friend thing.

"What's wrong?" Rossi asked seriously, sensing something was wrong.

Instead of answering I ran in the direction of the cliff.

"Tamaki it's…"

"HARUHI!" I shouted in panic.

_If Haruhi is hurt so help me I will destroy whoever's responsible!_

* * *

**Me: Hope you liked it lovelies. Get ready for some drama next chapter. Also, I wanted to include a new thing in each chapter. The 'Get to know Tomuru' segment, which is just basically a fact about Tomuru.**

**Tomuru: That name is crap! How about Tomuru Talk or Titbits of Tomuru.**

**Me: Eh I think about the name later. The segment will start on the next chapter. Till then seeya lovelies. **


	24. Episode 8 Part 3

**Me: Aha I've actually updated on time for once. Thanks as always lovelies.**

**Tomuru: SLINKYBLOP!**

**Haruhi: THWATAANG!**

**Tomuru: NIKERTROL!**

**Me: If you're wondering what the gibberish is about you'll find out in this part. Just trust me on this.**

* * *

"HARUHI!" I shouted again once I reached the cliff top.

However, I froze at the sight I saw. There were two local boys, one held two of the terrified guests; the other held Haruhi over the edge of the cliff by her shoulders.

"Hope you can swim," The ponytail jerk sneered, before pushing her over the edge.

"HARUHI!" I heard Tamaki yell, running past me and diving after her.

I regained my senses and stopped the twins before they had all the fun to themselves.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Doggie?" Hikaru yelled at me angrily.

"The dude holding the girls captive is yours. Mr Ponytail, however, is mine," I growled, starting to see red.

I released the twins and they rocketed to the first guy. I slowly walked up to the prick that pushed Haruhi in.

"You wanna play princess?" the guy chatted up sleazily as I neared.

I smiled as wide as possible, eyes red and manic, and nodded enthusiastically.

"Hey, what's with your eyes? And the creepy smile?" he queried, his confidence faltering the closer I got.

I got so close to his face our noses almost touched. I giggled like a little girl then head-butted the prickly pear. Next I punched him in the stomach and pulled him down to the ground by his ponytail, which he landed with a satisfyingly painful thud.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed in pain.

"Shouldn't have said that," I giggled, in a sickly sweet voice.

I stepped out the way just as Rossi pounced on him, in his red eye rabid mode.

"Now I need him conscious enough to have a likkle chat, unfortunately," I told Rossi, to which he got off the boy and returned to normal.

Not that it wasn't entertaining to see my little brother tear up a chauvinistic prick.

I knelt beside the battered boy and grabbed his shirt collar.

"What is your problem you psychos?" he had the audacity to utter.

"You tell me. What did you do?" I asked, continuing with the voice as my eyes stared intently into his own.

"I p-pushed the sis-sissy off the c-cliff?" he stammered, beginning to look nervous.

"What else?" I persisted.

"N-nothing!"

"Someone's telling porkies!" I sang.

"I…uh…"

"You and your buddy kept harassing those innocent girls didn't you, despite them clearly being scared."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He babbled.

"My best friend could be seriously hurt for all I know. He could've bashed his head on the Cliffside and fell unconscious. My blond friend didn't save him in time; he could be dying or dead. What would've that made you hmm?"

"M-m-murder…"

"Murderer," I whispered in his ear.

"Oh crap please don't kill me!" he pleaded desperately.

"I'll consider sparing your life if you'll tell me how you're going to change in the future so this doesn't happen again?"

"I won't throw anyone off cliffs."

"And?" I urged.

"I will treat girls with respect?"

"That's enough Tomuru," I heard Kyoya call behind me.

"One more thing. If I ever see you harass girls again I will not be so merciful am I clear?"

"This was you merciful?" he uttered in fear.

"Am. I. Clear?"

"Y-yeah!"

"Good," I stood up and turned my attention to Kyoya, Rossi and the twins.

"Right I think I've got it all out of my-"

"Fucking Bitch!" the boy suddenly snarled, grabbing my ankle and yanking it from under me, which caused me to fall.

_Oh, I'm going to KILL HIM! Hang on should I have landed on the floor by now? Wait is that the cliff…oh crap!_

I just barely managed to hold my breath before I plunged into the seawater. Luckily the water wasn't too choppy so I wasn't thrown all over the place by the tide. I swam back up the surface with my eyes and nose stinging like crazy. When I broke through to the surface I took a breath of air before having a small coughing fit, my eyes watering from the water going up my schnoz.

I tread water and looked back up to see Rossi and the Tweed's heads looking down at me.

"Hey, sis ya need saving?" Rossi called down to me.

"NO BUT THAT PRICKLY PEAR UP THERE WILL CUS I'M GOING TO MURDER HIM!" I shouted up them, still pissed off.

"You can't do that it's illegal!" Hikaru joked.

"Doggggiie that kills people!" Kaoru joined in, which made me laugh and swallow some more sea water in the process.

"_Cough, cough, _I'll meet you guys at the shore," I managed to splutter out.

"Kay!" Rossi responded and the three heads disappeared.

I swam around the cliff towards the shore, returning to where the others were. I squinted and managed to make out some human sized blobs on the beach, which I swam towards assuming it was the others. My anger was replaced with worry, wondering how dearest's condition was. Despite water clogging my ears, I managed to hear Haruhi's and Tamaki's voices as I neared.

"That's no excuse you idiot! Don't forget you're a girl!" I heard Tamaki scorn.

"Look I'm sorry you had to come and save me Senpai but I don't understand why you're so mad at me right now? I don't think I did anything wrong!" Haruhi defended herself.

_That's my Dearest!_

"You don't think so? Fine whatever you say. But I'm not speaking to you until you can admit that you were wrong!" Tamaki declared stubbornly.

I walked up to them squelchy and wet, hugging Dearest from behind.

"You ok? Not dead or dying?" I queried.

"I'm fine you've still got to put up with me for years yet," Haruhi assured, turning around and hugging me back.

"By the way, you're forehead looks a little red Sugar," Haruhi pointed out.

"Probably from head butting that ponytail jerk," I replied.

"Tomuru you should've let us handle the boys. You could've got seriously hurt," It was my turn to get the fatherly scorn.

I let go of Haruhi and stomped up to face Tamaki. He picked the wrong girl to start arguing with.

"Don't you start with me Tamaki Suoh! How DARE you say that I should just stand back while my best friend was in danger. How DARE you stereotype MY gender as weak and frail and always in need of saving. I know how to fight off ANY gender that dares hurt my loved ones. I learnt self-defence from my sister who shockingly is also a female. Women can be strong just as men can be weak so why don't you kindly BACK OFF!" I ranted, before stomping up the beach taking Haruhi and my belongings with me.

"Sugar Kyoya's beach house is that way," Haruhi reminded me.

"Oh…yes I finally got all the water out my ears!" I stated in relief.

**Back in my room…**

After I showered and changed into a black vest stop and camouflage print shorts I sprawled on my bed. Haruhi joined me a few minutes after wearing a pink dress with frills on the shoulders.

"Ranka's doing?" I sussed.

"Yep, dunno why dad keeps on insisting I wear this stuff."

"Cus he wants you to live up to your cute potential."

"I guess…SPLOP!"

"Yay the made up funny word game!"

"Figured you need something silly after a stressful day like today."

"Thanks, Dearest. Hmm THWATANG!"

"Ooh, good one. Uh MARRUGO!"

"KINKAJOU! No, wait that's an animal."

"What?"

"Kinkajou's an animal."

"I have never heard of it."

"It's real. I'll prove it when we get back."

"If you insist."

"…I did the right thing right?" Haruhi then asked doubtfully.

"Look you did what you have to do. The girls could've been badly hurt or even kidnapped if you didn't do what you did. Just next time try not to become the victim in the process. If you need help just yell our code word for danger." I reassured her, to which she looked at me sheepishly.

"You forgot the code word didn't you?" I sighed.

"Well, we made it up when we were nine what do you expect?" Haruhi defended.

"Tis Chupacabra Dearest." I reminded her.

"Oh yeah, the Mexican, goat eating thingy," Haruhi recalled.

"Yep, the Mexican, goat eating thingy."

"Just in case something similar happens again do you think you could spare some time to let me teach you some self-defence?" I requested.

"Yeah sure, though it may cut through our bouncing on the bedtime," Haruhi agreed.

"A sacrifice that must be made. You have to call me Sensei Sugar whilst I train you."

"Really?"

"Yes!" I insisted.

"Fine, so what happened after I fell?" Haruhi asked.

"Well…" I proceeded to tell her what happened after she fell. The threatening, Rabid Rossi, me falling the whole shebang.

"Can't believe that guy did that, you can be pretty scary when you wanna be. If it were me I'd be terrified," Haruhi commented.

"It will never be you, Dearest," I assured.

"By the way do you know what happened to those misogynistic guys?" I wondered.

"All I know is the guys took their IDs and told them to leave," Haruhi answered.

"That all?"

"Well, you, Rossi and the twins did most of the punishing," Haruhi stated.

"True…"

"So have you calmed down now?"

"I'm good, so long as no one starts setting me off again," I assured.

"Let's hope that doesn't happen then."

"Do you think they've guessed my fear Dearest?" I wondered.

"Which one? The one everyone with loved ones share or the completely irrational one?" Haruhi asked.

"Hey, those plastic popping nightmares are not to be trusted! And the first one," I defended myself.

"Well no one really wants to see their loved ones in that situation, but I don't think they don't count it as a fear they wanted you to tell them. The other fear they'd love to get their hands on," Haruhi answered.

"Well, they're not getting it anytime soon."

"Sorry for scaring you Sugar," Haruhi apologised sincerely, whilst giving me a hug.

"Apology accepted dearest," I replied, hugging her back.

At that moment, Rossi came in and climbed on top of us.

"Oi!" I exclaimed, trying to make him get off by wafting at him, which was unsuccessful.

"I told the others it would be best to give you some space until dinner time. So they're in the dining hall, whilst Honey and Mori Senpai prepare the crabs," Rossi informed,

"Eugh Crabs," I grimaced.

"So you ok now?" Rossi asked.

"Until someone sets me off again yeah."

"Good enough. By the way, after that guy grabbed your ankle and chucked you in I went rabid and beat him close to unconsciousness. Then Mori pulled me off and the two guys got kicked out the beach with their IDs taken off them," Rossi explained.

"That's my brother!" I cheered proudly.

"So you decided to wear your new sundress Rossi?" Haruhi noticed.

"Yep whatcha think?" Rossi got off us and showed off his rainbow coloured, spaghetti strapped sundress.

"Tis colourful and it suits you," I commented, to which his smile got bigger.

"You cute rainbow Rossi." I gushed, hugging him.

Then came three knocks at the door.

"Speak friend and enter," I stated.

"Friend?" Mori's voice came through the door.

"Mori Senpai you can enter. I'll let you off since you didn't get the reference," I opened the door to let Mori step in.

"Dinner's ready," Mori told us.

"Good, I'm starving," Haruhi commented.

I grabbed my ramen before the four of us headed to the dining room.

"Where's the kitchen Groot?" I asked Mori, to which he pointed to the door next to us labelled Kitchen.

"Oh…thanks," I thanked, which he gave a nod in response.

"We'll meet you at the dining hall Sugar," Haruhi said before the three of them walked away and I entered the kitchen.

"Ooh very fancy," I commented in a posh voice, before searching for a kettle.

As soon as I found it I filled it with water and switched it on. Once I prepared my ramen I got some chopsticks and carefully headed to the dining hall. I opened the door and let myself in as they chowed down on their crabs.

"Hey, Tomo Chan!" Honey greeted.

"Take a seat Doggie," Kaoru said.

I placed my ramen down and sat on the spare seat by Kyoya, shuffling as far away as possible from the crabs.

"So what have you got for dinner?" Hikaru asked.

"Pork and mushroom ramen," I answered.

"These crabs taste incrabible…heh, get it?" Haruhi spoke with her mouth full, snapping another crab leg.

"Frickin puns," I groaned.

"You trying to be cute?" Tamaki grumbled at Haruhi, to which she side glanced him and continued eating.

I finished eating and watched everyone else eat in bewilderment.

"How can you are guys eat just crab?" I asked.

"Not everyone hates seafood Tomuru," Kyoya responded, snapping another crab leg.

"Don't you think you've had enough? Give it a rest," Tamaki told Haruhi when a large pile of empty crab shells began to pile up beside her.

"Excuse me? I thought you weren't speaking to me," Haruhi back chatted.

"Fine, I get it. It seems you refuse to admit that you're wrong. See if I care then I'm going to bed. Kyoya could you show me to my room please," Tamaki stated huffily, excusing himself from the table.

"No problem. Well, excuse me, everyone," Kyoya excused himself and followed Tamaki.

"Dearest I know you've got an never ending stomach but you're gonna get sick," I advised, to which Haruhi stopped snapping the crab leg in her hand.

"Maybe he's right," Haruhi murmured.

"Dearest you're doubting yourself again," I pointed out.

"So that's it he got to you huh?" The twins remarked.

"It wouldn't hurt for you to learn martial arts or something," Hikaru stated.

"But it's not like we're gonna force you to learn it," Kaoru added.

"Already got it covered. I'm gonna start teaching her some self-defense," I interjected.

"So she'll be as scary as you?" Kaoru chuckled.

"Hopefully."

"Besides that's not the real issue here," The twins spoke simultaneously.

"To be honest, we were all a little worried, about how recklessly you acted," Hikaru admitted.

"What do you mean? I didn't cause you guys any trouble or anything," Haruhi stated, to which the twins shrugged casually.

"That's not true Haru-Chan. I think you should apologise for kay? You made us all worry especially Tama-Chan. I think you should apologise to him the most," Honey spoke up.

"You were all worried about me? But why?" Haruhi asked in confusion.

"Because that's what friends do you numpty," I answered.

"You're hopeless," The twins sighed.

"You think? Guys I'm really sorry," Haruhi apologised earnestly, which of course caused the Tweeds and Honey to hug and nuzzle her.

"Aw, apology accepted you little mutt!" Hikaru gushed.

"You so cute we forgive you!" Kaoru gushed.

"Guys give her some space I think she's gonna hurl!" I stated urgently when I saw Haruhi go pale.

"I don't feel so good," Haruhi murmured weakly.

"Let's get her into the nearest restroom hurry!" Kaoru suggested.

"Be strong Haru-Chan," Honey told her as we ushered her into the nearest room.

We returned to the dining room once she made it to the restroom.

"I hope Haru-Chan's not too poorly," Honey spoke up worriedly.

"She'll be fine. It's her fault for eating too much," I assured.

"By the way, I'm sorry if I caused you guys any worry," I added sincerely.

"Well, we were a little less worried about you since you can be surprisingly scary when you want to be," Hikaru responded.

"Though we did get concerned when you fell into the sea. But then you started going off on one about murder and we knew you were fine," Kaoru explained.

"Speaking of fighting, you said your sister taught you to fight. So does Yuki get all rabid and red-eyed when she fights?" Hikaru asked.

"Well she's always snappy, she doesn't contain her anger so her fighting style is more controlled and human. Not rabid and anger fuelled like Rossi and me," I explained.

"I didn't even need to be taught to fight. Mine are more instinctive, triggered by swears as you know. I can control it around family and friends, though, but just barely," Rossi informed.

"How's your forehead, Tomo Chan?" Honey asked, prodding it gently.

"Tis fine Honey, though I think it'll bruise."

"You're forehead seems to get injured more than any other body part lately," Rossi noticed.

"Lately, it has yeah," I agreed.

"Why do you do the creepy girl voice when you threaten?" Hikaru wondered.

"To freak out my opponent Tweedledum," I answered, speaking in the voice and staring intently at Hikaru.

"Please stop you're freaking me out!" he pleaded.

"See? Tis very effective," I returned to my normal self.

"Ain't it just," Hikaru muttered.

"Is that why you smile so much too?" Honey asked.

"Uh huh. Now I'm going to track down Tamaki and apologise. Unless you guys need a hand cleaning up?" I offered.

"Nah we've got it you go find dad," Rossi assured.

"You called Tamaki dad!" I laughed.

"What? No!" Rossi denied, a look of horror on his face as the twins and I laughed,

"I'm telling him Muhahahaha!" I ran out of the dining room.

"Noooo his ego will inflate!" Rossi complained.

"Now where's Tamaki's room?" I muttered to myself, walking down the hall all the guest's room were in.

However, I didn't have to wonder for long as Tamaki came out of the room to the right of me, which made me jump.

"Singing stingrays!" I gasped in surprise.

"Tomuru? I thought you were with the others?" Tamaki said in confusion.

"I was then I went looking for you," I replied, before giving him a hug.

"Wh-what's this for?" Tamaki asked in surprise.

"I'm sorry for worrying you…Dad," I apologised softly.

"…You're forgiven," He replied, returning the hug.

"I would try and make you promise you wouldn't do it again but you'll get angry at me again," He added when we stopped hugging.

"Ah, you're learning, good. But I think you'll learn more if you read my mum's books. Could you do that for me please?" I requested.

"Will it make you happy?"

"Happier."

"Then consider it done daughter dear!" Tamaki declared.

"Thanks, I'm gonna go find Haruhi and see if she's ok. She threw up after eating too much crab," I explained.

"Alright, I'm going to see if Kyoya's got any sun lotion for my sun burn," Tamaki replied.

"By the way don't be too harsh with dearest. I know you really care about her but if she hadn't intervened who knows what would've happened to the girls," I spoke earnestly, to which Tamaki nodded.

I then went to my room and looked around to see if Haruhi was in there.

"Whelp she's not in here," I concluded, after a vague search around.

I was about to shut the curtains when I noticed the torrential weather outside. It was dark and miserable with rain lashing down, I could barely see the beach.

"I don't like the looks of this," I murmured to myself.

"YOU BASTARD!" I heard Tamaki shout furiously.

"What the fraggle?" I spoke in surprise, turning my attention to Kyoya's room next door.

_What did Kyoya do to anger Tamaki so much he swore? And in the close proximity of Rossi too!_

Just then I heard a low rumble of thunder from outside and I managed to whip my head around to see a flash of lighting illuminate the surroundings.

"Dearest," I said in a panic.

I was about to run out the room when the Shadow lord entered.

"Kyoya where's Haruhi?" I asked, too much in a state of worry to wonder why his shirt is off.

"She's with Tamaki and she's perfectly fine," Kyoya answered.

"She is NOT perfectly fine Kyoya! I've got to go comfort her," I snapped, however, he blocked the entrance.

"You best get out my way!" I growled impatiently.

**_Click_**

"Why did you turn the light off? And why are you shirtless?" I asked, now in a state of confusion.

"You really are an idiot."

"Wha-?"

Suddenly Kyoya forcefully pushed me onto my bed and held me by my wrists, his body overhanging mine.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded, my voice dangerously quiet and my anger rising for the third time today.

"You didn't even see me coming. You protect and look out for the ones you love yet that leaves you exposed for others to hurt you," He snarled.

"Oh shut up pervert!" I exclaimed.

I drew my leg up to knee him in the stomach. As I thought he instinctively clutched his stomach with one hand, which freed my right arm. With my free hand, I firmly clutched his neck and forcefully rolled him over, so I was on top of him. Then I released his neck and pinned him down.

"Don't spew such crap! You're not stupid enough to rape me here. For starters, there are witnesses, very nosey witnesses. Secondly, you would bring shame and disgust to your family name, which I don't think you want. Finally, there was no way in hell I would EVER let you unless you wanted to be castrated. Even if you somehow managed to I would see to it that you rot in prison! Well, am I wrong?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Damn right I'm not wrong! Don't you ever try that crap on me, Haruhi or anyone else ever again! I can't believe a Host would even consider threatening anyone with rape to get them to comply. Never mind a Host who apparently is a fan of my Mum's books. I have lost what respect I had for you Kyoya now you really are evil. I suggest you re-read the Tomboy series and pay attention to its message. Now where is Haruhi?"

"Next door, in my room," He answered quietly.

I got off him and ran out of the room, bursting into Kyoya's room. What I saw calmed me down immensely. I smiled softly as I saw Tamaki hug Haruhi soothingly.

"You don't have to be afraid. I'll always be here for you Haruhi. You never have to be alone again," Tamaki assured her gently.

Then Tamaki noticed me and blushed a little. I walked up to them, still smiling and a little teary eyed.

"Don't let me stop you," I whispered to him, as he was moving to let go of Haruhi.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner dearest. But I can see you're in safe hands. You'll be protected by Tamaki tonight. I'm going to bed now, you'll be fine I promise," I muttered to Haruhi stroking her hair.

She responded by nodding slightly, continuing to hug Tamaki.

"Thank you," I told Tamaki, to which he smiled.

I returned the smile and quietly returned to my room, so as not to disturb them. I sighed in relief and was about to open my bedroom door when I remembered what happened with Kyoya earlier, which ruined my good mood.

I slowly opened the door to find that thankfully Kyoya left. I changed into my pyjamas then bounced on my bed to vent my frustration.

"Frickin Kyoya! Frickin boys! Frickin storm! Frickin, Frickin, Frickin!" I fumed as I bounced.

_The so-called vacation to the beach turned out to be the most stressful, angry day I've had in a long time!_

"You nasty pervert," I heard Hikaru outside in the hall.

"Huh?" I topped bouncing and listened further.

"What kind of foreplay is that?" Kaoru scoffed.

"Foreplay?"

"I never would've pegged the boss as an S&amp;M pervert," Hikaru stated.

"S&amp;M?"

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Just then Haruhi stomped into my room throwing a blindfold on the floor.

"Want to vent bounce while you explain what's going on now?" I suggested.

"Yeah," Haruhi agreed to bounce on my bed.

She told me what just occurred outside in the hallway though I think it was a misunderstanding.

_I think Tamaki was trying to help her with her fear of thunderstorms when the others caught them. I'm not gonna tell them though or the rest of the Hosts will know Haruhi's fear._

"What's with the Hosts today? First Kyoya now Tamaki," I moaned.

"What did Kyoya Senpai do?" Haruhi asked, sitting on my bed.

I sat with her and sighed before telling her what happened.

"It was completely out of line! Uh, I'm so mad at him right now!" I finished ranting.

"He…uh did it to me too," Haruhi admitted sheepishly.

"I thought so, that's why Tamaki swore wasn't it."

"No, he caught us after it happened."

"Well, are you ok?"

"Yeah I knew he wasn't going to do anything to me. He was just acting like the bad guy to prove what Tamaki said earlier," Haruhi explained.

"Don't care you may let him off easy but I won't. Not until he properly makes it up to me," I insisted stubbornly.

"I understand," Haruhi spoke gently, giving me a side hug.

"I knew you would."

"I'm heading to bed, night guys," Rossi poked his head in my room.

"Night Rossi," We spoke simultaneously.

"I better head to bed myself, get some sleep you," Haruhi told me.

"Yeah, night Dearest," I told her.

"Night Sugar," She replied, before leaving through our adjoining door.

**Tomorrow Morning… **

I assumed I wasn't going to sleep well last night but surprisingly I zonked out around three minutes after Haruhi left. However, I did wake up uncharacteristically early at the time of 9 am. I dreamt of a recurring dream I had for a few weeks now that basically was the Walking Dead except instead on zombies there were Bernards rampaging the streets and the Hosts, Haruhi, me and my family were the only survivors.

I showered, brushed my teeth, put my hair up into a high pigtail and changed into a tiger striped top and black ankle length flowy skirt. I went down to the dining room where everyone except Kyoya, Mori and Honey were already eating breakfast.

"Morning," I greeted them, determined to have a more cheerful day today.

"Hey, I thought you were allergic to mornings," Rossi teased.

"Well, apparently my body clock wants me to be early today," I shrugged, helping myself to some cereal.

"So are you all packed?" Haruhi asked.

"…Nooo. I'll pack after breakfast," I replied.

Just then Mori entered with a sleepy Honey entered, followed behind by a grouchy Kyoya.

"Aw Honey not a morning person like me eh?" I guessed, to which he nodded sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"You are such a cutie patooty. I'm gonna go pack," I decided, leaving the table.

"Actually, could I have a word Tomuru?" Kyoya asked following me.

In the hallway I stopped and turned around, giving him an 'out with it' glare.

"I'm truly sorry for what I did last night. I was wrong and you had every right to be angry at me," Kyoya apologised.

He did look somewhat guilty but still I wasn't ready to forgive him that quickly.

"You're not going to do that ever again?"

"Never again, you have my word."

"I don't trust you word. But I will forgive you if I get something in return," I stated.

"Any something."

"A favour, any favour I want. Even if it means you having to spend a crap load of money. Even if it humiliates you. Even if it means having to travel halfway around the world," I spoke my terms.

"…Is this something I'm going to regret?"

"Definitely, how else are you going to learn," I confirmed.

"Very well," He agreed somewhat reluctantly.

We shook hands to finalise our agreement.

"Now I want that in writing," I insisted.

"Naturally."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I…didn't want a friend to lose their respect for me," He admitted, looking away.

"Well, the respect is coming back a little. I'm gonna go pack," I said, smiling a little.

"Tomuru you haven't told anyone about it have you?" Kyoya asked.

"Just Haruhi, it's no one else's concern," I answered.

"Good."

"Seeya later Kyoya."

"What no Shadow lord?"

"Bit too early for nicknames yet," I told him.

He nodded before returning to the dining hall. I went into my room and threw everything into my bag, making sure I didn't lose anything, because I always leave something behind, always!

"Hey, have you packed everything?" Haruhi asked entering my room.

"I always forget something! What have I forgotten?" I demanded.

Haruhi went into the bathroom and threw my shower gel towards me.

"Thanks Dearest! Wait I packed my shampoo how did I forget the shower gel?" I wondered.

"So you forgave Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah, but I got a favour out of him. Any favour I desire, it's like a magic wish! I'm still a bit wary though but I'm sure I'll return to my normal weird self around him," I answered.

"Good enough, he wouldn't have wanted his crush to be mad at him," Haruhi teased.

"Dude after what happened last night he's basically extinguished any chance of anything romancey schmancy happen between us," I stated firmly.

"We'll see."

"Why are you pushing Kyoya on me?" I demanded.

"Cus I'm shipping you guys," Haruhi shrugged.

"I'm the shipper, not you! Anyway, you pairing makes absolutely no sense! It's like pairing a cat and a dog together, unnatural!" I complained.

"We'll see."

"Look can we just bounce on the bed, whilst we can," I asked.

"Alright."

* * *

**Me: This part was quite serious and more drama than usual. It'll be more sillier in Episode 9 since the Hosts will be in dresses. Which I look forward to see Tomuru's reaction!**

**Now as promised, it's time for...**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Yep and to kick things off I'm going to relate this fact to this episode and reveal Tomuru's two fears.**

**Fear 1- Her loved ones getting hurt or in danger. Especially if she couldn't do anything to stop it.**

**Fear 2- Bal...**

**Tomuru: DON'T SAY IT!**

**Me: BALLOONS!**

**Tomuru: NOOO you don't just say stuff like that!**

**Me: Why do you fear balloons?**

**Tomuru: They're plastic popping air-filled sacs of terror that are NOT to be trifled with! They always pop near my face as well. They know I fear them!**

**Me: Well if any of you lovelies want to know anything about Tomuru I'm open to suggestions.**

**Till next time seeya lovelies! **


	25. Episode 9 Part 1

**Me: Next Chapter Lovelies, you lot are beautiful as always.**

**Tomuru: Flattery won't get you anywhere! You're late with your updates again!**

**Me: I know (hangs head in shame).**

**Tomuru: Shame on you!**

**Haruhi: Ok she gets the point. Better late than never.**

**Tomuru: Trueee**

**Me: I'll try and post sooner, emphasis on try.**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"What the heck is going on around here?" I wondered, noticing students wearing different uniforms crowding the hallways.

"Don't you remember what Kyoya Senpai told us last Friday?" Rossi sighed.

"Nooo."

"The academy is hosting a cultural exposition. Clubs from other schools have been invited, ya know drama, art, music that stuff," Rossi reminded.

"Oh yeah. Wonder if the Host club is doing anything for it?" I wondered.

"Probably will," Rossi shrugged.

When we reached Music room 3 two girls were already at the door, wearing a white and dark red uniform, with a large cream bow on the blouse.

"This looks like the place," The taller girl with light brown hair spoke up, to which the shorter girl with the ginger bob nodded in agreement.

"Huh, didn't think the Host club was well known among other schools," I thought aloud.

Rossi and I trailed after the girls and stepped into the club. The Hosts greeted the girls in medieval knights cosplay, except the twins who were squires I think.

"Welcome ladies!" the Hosts greeted the girls though their reactions were indifferent to the greeting.

Rossi and I quietly sneaked out the room into the changing rooms to see what outfits we got.

"Aww, I wanted to be a knight! Or maybe a dragon, that would've been fun," I commented, looking at the cream princess cosplay.

"Well I love mine, we even have the tiaras!" Rossi differed, getting his purple princess attire and stepping into the changing room.

I huffed and went into the adjacent changing room.

"The knights' cosplay suits them. I especially liked Mori and Honey Senpai's armour," I commented as I put on the shoes and tiara.

"Yeah," Rossi agreed.

"Let's head back," I suggested, once we finished changing.

"DON'T GO TOUCHING MY HARUHI WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" We heard Tamaki shout.

"Well, I guess dearest is here," I spoke lightly.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" we then heard a female voice shout.

"…Okay?"

We let ourselves into the clubroom, before taking in the scene we're witnessing. By the door were the two girls from earlier plus another girl with short brown hair. The new girl was holding Haruhi, who herself was holding a shopping bag. In contrast, the Hosts were stood, aside from Tamaki who was blubbering on the floor.

"SHE PUNCHED ME! SHE'S SO VIOLENT!" Tamaki wailed.

"Get a hold of yourself," Honey tough loved Tamaki.

"Guess the rumours we heard were true. You guys are just a bunch of weak little punks with no sense between you," The taller girl derided.

"Oooh," I oohed, holding my imaginary handbag up.

"Guess they're not here to become guests," Rossi commented.

"Those uniforms, I take it you girls are from the Lobelia Girls Academy?" Kyoya sussed.

"That's correct," The girl confirmed before…

"Whoa what the..? Oh, thank god they have clothes underneath," I remarked as the three girls ripped their uniforms off.

"Lobelia," The brown haired girl sang, dressed in a purple tailed suit and top hat, with a white lily in her mouth.

"Lobelia," The second girl sang, wearing a long white and pale blue dress.

"Lobelia," The third girl sang, wearing a shorter pink dress.

"How did they do that with the spotlights?" I whispered to Rossi.

"Screw that how did they fit those outfits under their uniforms," Rossi whispered back.

"St Lobelia Academy high school second year, Benio Armacusa," The suited girl introduced.

"Lobelia," They sang together.

"Second-year student Chizuru Mihara," The blue dress girl introduced, holding a fan.

"Lobelia."

"First-year student, Hinako Suabuki," The ginger girl finished.

"Lobelia," I noticed the three of them did synchronised poses every time they sang.

"We are the members of St Lobelia Academy's white lily league. Also known as…" Benio threw her hat in the air, somehow causing yellow stage lights to come on.

Once again they stripped revealing even showier outfits. They looked like parade people. They had huge dresses with huge feather fans attached to them.

"THE ZUKA CLUB!" the three of them announced, with bright lights behind them and I'm sure I heard a fanfare.

"Uuuh?" The Hosts reacted unsurely.

The fanfare sounded again, and the Zuka club continued to pose, the lack of movement started to freak me out.

"Uuuh?" the Hosts repeated.

"Oh, my glob do you realise what this means?" I told Rossi in realisation.

"That rich people are weird?"

"That and that there's a club more dramatic than the Host club!" I spoke excitedly.

"You're right! I didn't even think that was possible," Rossi agreed.

Tamaki went white and collapsed on the floor as the twins burst into laughter.

"The Zuka club, man what a stupid name! the Zuka club my stomach hurts!" Hikaru laughed.

"The Zuka club, that's priceless! And they've got those get-ups on under their uniforms," Kaoru laughed the two of them holding each other for support.

Rossi went over to Honey, whilst I went over to Haruhi.

"How did they get into that many costumes?" I asked Haruhi.

"Beats me, princess," She shrugged.

"I told them I wanted to be a dragon!" I muttered irritably.

"Maybe you can some other time," Haruhi comforted.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"You shouldn't underestimate the Zuka club!" I heard the voice I dread to hear.

"Oh no," I whispered in misery.

The usual sound of a platform rising and the laugh that makes me want to cut my ears off came shortly after. Renge was sat at a table on said platform wearing a purple kimono.

"Great," I sighed.

"I may not know much about instant coffee but I'm fascinated with girl schools," Renge started, taking a sip of the contents of her cup before promptly disposing of said contents. Guess instant coffee didn't suit her posh palate.

"St Lobelia Academy it is truly a women's world there. The Zuka club is a group of young maidens who believe women to be superior in every way. The club prides itself on its thirty-year history. It is a society of maidens, by maidens for maidens! Zuka club activities include maiden tea parties, the maiden debate form and most importantly musical reviews performed by the society's top members," Renge continued with her speech.

"You have a vast amount of knowledge Renge. I'm quite impressed," Kyoya commented, removing his armour.

"Well, I have always admired St Lobelias. I just couldn't go to school there, though. What would I do without any boys?" Renge said.

"Hang on Bernard's not with her?" I just realised.

"Maye she left him at the fountain today," Haruhi shrugged.

"Yeah may-OW!" I yelped suddenly feeling a pain in my right ankle.

I looked down and sure enough, there was Bernard, his bill gnawing at my leg.

"Get off, get off you frickin menace!" I groaned, hopping around the room trying to shake off the duck.

"You didn't think you would get away without punishment today did you?" Renge laughed.

"If the cosplay gets ripped it goes onto the debt Tomuru," Kyoya threatened.

"Silence Shadow lord!" I snapped, shaking my leg furiously to get Bernard off.

"'_Whistle_' Bernard come! Well until next time enemy," Renge stated, making Bernard let go and totter over to her obediently before the two of them returned to the lair from once they came.

"Thank god that's over," I spoke in relief, rubbing my sore leg.

"A maiden's beauty means not giving into power or to lust," Chizuru spoke up, now dressed as a queen.

"As a girl you, for a girl you, we've had quite enough of your oppressive male contempt for womankind," Hinako said scornfully, now dressed as a demon with a red pitchfork.

"And our pride comes from having meaningful relationships based on equality because we're the same sex. And yes that includes relationships of love," Benio said, dressed in a purple dressing gown and was wearing a moustache.

"Yeah you tell them Benio," Chizuru gushed, now in a green nightie.

"You're awesome Beni Bada!" Hinako gushed, now in a red nightie.

"How much cosplay do they need?" I muttered to myself.

"Here," Kyoya threw a roll of the bandage at me.

"You didn't have to chuck it at me! But thanks," I responded, before rolling the bandage onto my sore leg.

The Hosts ignored the Lobelia girls and were doing their own thing. Kyoya continued to read, Mori was swinging his sword, not a euphemism, Kaoru was rifling through the shopping bag, Honey and Rossi were watching Hikaru play a video game.

"Whatever we're totally bored of you now," Kaoru sighed indifferently.

"Why don't you girls just scram?" Hikaru suggested, not looking up from his game.

"I find it hard to believe that you silly boys have nothing to say about our sublime female love," Hinako scoffed.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Hikaru asked.

"Hey, I haven't seen this one before, guess it's a new one," Kaoru commented on the instant coffee.

"You should feel sorry for them Hinagiku. Their patented Host skills don't work on us now they're all flustered and don't know what to do with themselves," Chizuru remarked.

"True I must admit I'm glad we agreed to perform here. It was fun to sneak a peek at the notorious Ouran host club," Benio responded.

"Hey, guys are really notorious?" Honey asked.

"Yeah," Mori answered, still holding the sword.

"And to think they're taking this sweet young girl down with them," Benio stated, referring to Haruhi placing a hand on her shoulder.

_When did they change back into their uniforms?_

"Huh?" Haruhi spoke up.

"The Host club's president maybe a pretty little halfer. But he shouldn't be using his looks to create a fictitious romance. Attempting to fool the heart of an innocent young maiden is demeaning! Your so called club activities are nothing more than debasing macho fantasies. I promise you we will bring you guys down, the Ouran Host club will be abolished!" Benio spoke in passionate anger.

"All hail Zuka club!" the trio announced.

"I see, I understand your concern. But do you think we can finish this later?" Kyoya interjected coolly.

"Are you saying you're not going to face us?" Benio sneered.

"Not at all, it's just that our president is currently bed written from the current culture shock," Kyoya explained, gesturing to Tamaki.

Tamaki was lying on one of the sofas with a blanket covering him and his teddy bear beside him. Mori was holding a baby bottle and Kyoya was holding a rattle for some reason.

"You see Tama-Chan is having his nappy time right now," Honey spoke up.

"Wake him up!" Benio growled.

"Excuse me; I made some coffee would you ladies like to have some?" Haruhi intervened pacifistically, holding a tray with three cups of coffee.

"And if you'd like I'd be more than happy to get something sweet for you ladies. Perhaps cake?" I offered, deciding to act courteously like Haruhi.

"Why yes aren't you two the sweetest things. Forgive me for not noticing you sooner maiden," Benio gushed.

"That's alright. What cake would you three like?" I asked.

"There's no need to get us any desserts, but thank you for offering," Benio replied.

"Okay," I shrugged.

"You two are real pearls among swine," Chizuru complimented.

"You know coffee made by a maiden has a more fragrant aroma," Benio stated, the three of them holding their coffees.

"Yeah but this stuff's just instant," I pointed out.

"Did those punks dress you in that outfit?" Hinako asked.

"Oh…yeah, to be honest, I wanted to be a dragon. But being a princess is not too bad," I replied casually, forgetting that I was still dressed up.

"Typical male behaviour to dress up maidens in such objectifying attire," Benio disapproved.

"Oookkkaayy?"

"How about the five of us have a little tea party?" Hinako suggested.

"YOU GIRLS HAVE IT ALL WRONG! DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S NOTHING TO BE GAINED IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO WOMEN! IF THAT WERE THE CASE THEN WHY DID GOD CREATE ADAM AND EVE?" Tamaki exclaimed, stomping towards us.

"Oh, so he's one of those," I muttered.

He then slipped on a random banana peel, which made him stick his finger in hot coffee. Tamaki proceeded to shout in pain.

"HOT HOT HOT HOT!" Tamaki repeated, kneeling down as Honey tried to cool down his finger by blowing on it.

Haruhi left me to entertain the Lobelia girls as she went to Tamaki's aid.

"Guess they're after you too huh?" Rossi came up to me.

"Looks like it."

"…How dare you wear that?" Benio snapped at Rossi.

"What?" Rossi questioned in confusion.

"What?" I growled.

"Are you making a mockery of women kind?" Hinako retorted.

"No, he's not! My little brother prefers to wear dresses and skirts to trousers. If girls can dress masculine than boys can dress feminine got it?" I interjected defensively.

"I suppose there's no harm in that. Forgive us maiden," Benio responded humbly, the three of them bowing their heads.

"You're forgiven," I replied.

"This little conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere," Benio turned her attention to Dearest and Tamaki, before grabbing Haruhi's arm and pulling Haruhi up towards her.

"Now that we know what's going on we can't allow her or the other maiden to stay here. We'll prepare their paperwork and transfer her to Lobelia at once and will welcome them into the Zuka club," Benio assured firmly.

"Hold your horses! I think we need a say in this too ya know," I piped up, moving to talk to Benio face to face.

"Yeah there seem to be some misunderstandings here. I mean, first of all, you called Senpai a halfer," Haruhi agreed.

"Because he is a halfer. He's half French and half Japanese," Honey contradicted.

_Well, that explains his promiscuous personality._

"Well uh anyway I don't think it's fair for you to pick on the Host club just because you don't think they have the same history you do," Haruhi defended the club.

"We barely have any history we were just founded just two years ago," Hikaru contradicted.

"Yeah, the boss created the club whenever he started High school here," Kaoru added.

"Be that as it may, saying their club activities are just to satisfy their appetite is just wrong, I mean it's not like the Host club is charging their guests or anything?" Haruhi said in exasperation, twirling her finger in the air as I face palmed the Hosts for not helping.

_Hang on I thought they did?_

"Well, I wouldn't call it a charge we do have a point system. We offer services based off of the auctions held on our website. Hey, check this out Haruhi. Your used mechanical pencil just sold with the winning bid of 30,000 yen. Good for you," Kyoya explained as he checked the club website on his laptop.

"WHAT BUT I THOUGHT I LOST THAT PENCIL! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE KYOYA SENPAI? I HAD NO IDEA WE WERE COLLECTING MONEY!" Haruhi shouted furiously.

"So you thought we were all working here as volunteers? Well, it's not much due to the expense of organising social events we happen to get a small profit from the online auction," Kyoya supplied, unfazed by Haruhi's outburst.

"Wait you guys get paid to do this nonsense?" I caught on.

"YOU CAN'T SELL OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION THAT'S STEALING!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"It wasn't stealing you dropped that pencil on the floor," The twins denied, to which Haruhi growled in their direction.

"Well, I guess we know who the culprits are," I blamed the twins, who were sitting on one of the sofas.

"I'M SORRY HARUHI IT WASN'T LIKE WE WERE HIDING IT FROM YOU! HERE YOU CAN HAVE MINE IT'S GOT A CUTE TEDDY BEAR ON IT!" Tamaki cried, offering his teddy bear pencil.

"Senpai I don't want your pencil," Haruhi responded.

"Then to make it up to you how about I do this. I will tell you my success and my fondest memories," Tamaki counter offered.

"Not to be rude Senpai but I'm not really interested in that information," Haruhi muttered bitterly.

"Not interested!" Tamaki looked horrified before going into his dark aura.

"You guys haven't auctioned anything of mine right?" I asked Kyoya.

"Why would we? You're just an errand girl," Kyoya replied.

"Just checking."

_I feel like I should be offended by that comment._

"Oh, you poor dear I can't believe they've been deceiving you," Chizuru cooed in sympathy.

"Hey, why don't you dump these losers and come with us," Hinako suggested.

"Now hold on Hinagiku this young maiden has had quite a day. We'll give you some time to think about it. We'll come for yours and the blue-eyed maiden's answers tomorrow. Well, then adieu," Benio stated before the three of them twirled out of the clubroom laughing.

"So dramatic," I sighed.

Haruhi looked over to the Hosts, her expression was unreadable but I could tell she was still pissed off.

"I better be going I have some thinking to do," Haruhi uttered before calmly walking out of the clubroom.

"Well, confobulations you lot you've gone and ticked off Dearest," I accused the Hosts.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HER THE TRUTH? YOU JUST ADDED FUEL TO THE FIRE!" Tamaki squealed at Kyoya.

"The facts are the facts," Kyoya shrugged.

"Maybe we should've asked before we sold her pencil on the internet," Honey said in guilt.

"Yeah for all we know it was a keepsake from her mother," Kaoru commented.

"Nah she just got it as a freebie from an electronic store," I informed.

"Gentlemen just think about it. Haruhi is basically indifferent but if she had to choose we know she tends to wear men's clothing. And besides, when she first joined the Host club didn't she tell us that being fussed over by girls wouldn't be that bad?" Tamaki said, looking out of the window thoughtfully.

"Yeah?" I urged.

"Why did I not realise this before? Perhaps they would be a better match for Haruhi. Perhaps she would be better off with the…Zuka club," Tamaki concluded.

"Yeah, she's perfect for a girl's school," Kaoru realised.

"IS HARU-CHAN IS GOING TO TRANSFER AWAY?" Honey sobbed.

"What are we going to do?" Hikaru asked.

"Haruhi's so smart passing Lobelia scholarship will be a piece of cake," Kaoru commented.

"And Lobelia academy has the money to pay off the 8 million debt she owes us," Kyoya added.

"COOL YOUR BEANS GUYS!" I exclaimed which got their attention.

"Now then, if you lot want to keep her so badly then I've got an idea to make sure she stays," I told them.

"You do?" Tamaki said excitedly.

"Yeah I cooked it up when you guys were busy worrying."

"Hey if Haruhi left wouldn't that mean we wouldn't be here either?" Rossi realised.

"ROSSI CHAN AND TOMO CHAN ARE LEAVING TOO!" Honey exclaimed, hugging Rossi tightly.

"We're not gonna leave Honey Senpai the plan will work I guarantee," I assured.

"Eh, we would just bug you at your place every day if you left," Hikaru shrugged.

"So what is this plan of yours then?" Kyoya asked.

"Well…" I began, with an excited glint in my eye.

* * *

**Me: Find out what Tomuru has in store for the Hosts next time.**

**Tomuru: It's time for the second instalment of TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Yep and today I decided to tell you lovelies the tale of how Tomuru made an arch nemesis of Bernard.**

**Tomuru: Bernard just can't let bygones be bygones! I was seven for Pete's sake!**

**Haruhi: Who's Pete?**

**Tomuru: Shush you.**

**Me: Anyway Tomuru was seven and feeding the ducks with Haruhi and Ranka. She decided to be super generous and threw a whole uncut loaf of bread and the ducks. The bread, unfortunately, landed on one of the ducklings, almost drowning the poor thing. Which pissed off said duckling and his mother.**

**Tomuru: That duckling became my arch nemesis Bernard who's held a grudge ever since.**

**Me: Seeya next time, whenever that is, lovelies! xx**


	26. Episode 9 Part 2

**Me: An early chapter for you lovelies! Also, to _Cup O' Tea Hatter _I'm afraid the position of 'best friend soul mate' has been filled by Haruhi.**

**Tomuru: Yeah and she can get protective of li'l old me.**

**Haruhi: Hey she can take her for all I care.**

**Tomuru: Rude dearest! **

**Me: Also to _Kitsune1797 _Tomuru actually likes bubble wrap.**

**Tomuru: bubble wrap is less surprising and more trustworthy!**

**Me: Finally to _yoyowezy _Tomuru's plan is not as bad as you think.**

**Well on with the story!**

* * *

"This isn't going to work."

"Shush Kyoya it'll work. I know my Dearest better than you," I insisted.

"Daughter, zip me up," Tamaki requested, to which I zipped up his dress.

"This goes with your outfit Ootori," I said.

"A fan, really?"

"Yep and Groot don't forget your tambourine."

"How come Mori Senpai isn't cross-dressing?" Hikaru demanded.

"Cus this suits him, don't question my genius! How's the makeup coming along Marcel?"

"Still can't believe you dragged Marcel into this," Kaoru commented.

"Are you sure you want the make up this heavy?" Marcel asked unsurely, as he put on Honey's makeup.

"Yes, the heavier the better. Did you bring the camera liked I said?"

"Got it right here," Marcel confirmed, holding it up.

"Good, make sure you take a ton of pictures kay?"

"So long as I get to use some for my portfolio. Honey, you're all set," Marcel replied.

"Thank you, Marcel Chan," Honey hopped off the makeup chair.

"Kyoya you're the last one," I dragged Kyoya to the makeup chair.

"Can this count as the favour I owe you?" Kyoya asked hopefully.

"Nope!" I sang.

"Hate you," I heard him mutter before I walked away.

"Right is everyone ready? Where's Rossi?" I asked.

"Right here," Rossi spoke up, wearing a floral print purple and white dress.

"Good now I'll get ready," I went into the changing room where a long-tailed black suit and top hat waited for me.

Well if the Hosts are waiting for me then why can't I? I even had a cane to go with it. I got changed and put my hair into a top bun so it can be hidden in the top hat. Then I searched for Marcel so he could tie my tie because I have no clue how to do it.

"Ok, you're done Kyoya. Though it seems a bit pointless since you'll be covering your face with the fan," Marcel commented.

"Tie my tie please?" I requested.

"Allow me," Kyoya offered, smiling as he took the tie from me.

"I don't trust you when you smile like that," I spoke warily, as he tied the knot.

Then he yanked the knot upwards making it tight around my neck.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I squeaked, trying to make some breathing room.

"Ties are meant to be that tight," Kyoya insisted with his trademark evil smirk, before walking away.

"Prickly pear," I swore under my breath.

"Right time to get in position. Marcel wants to take a few photos before Haruhi arrives," I managed to call out.

We all got into the positions Marcel ordered us into.

"Can I have Kyoya and Tomo together now please?" Marcel instructed.

"You sound like a wedding photographer." I pointed out to him as I moved to where Kyoya stood.

"Great now Honey and Mori then a few group pictures," Marcel stated.

"Alright all done," Marcel said once he was finished taking pictures.

"This is a wonderful plan, my daughter is so clever!" Tamaki gushed hugging me tightly.

"It hasn't even unfolded yet," I responded.

"Does everyone remember what we rehearsed?" I checked with everyone, to which they nodded.

"Goodo now we wait," I rubbed my hands together in anticipation.

"This is ridiculous," Kyoya sighed.

"Shhh, I hear the Lobelia girls. Marcel turns off the lights and make sure you film everything. Remember guys try and sound as feminine as you can," I instructed excitedly, to which Marcel turned off the lights.

"Hi, young maiden," I heard Benio greet.

"We've come for your decision," Hinako continued.

"We're ready to confront those Ouran idiots and set things straight once and for all," Chizuru stated.

"Set what straight?" Haruhi asked.

"That you should come with us and go to school with your own kind," Benio answered.

Shortly after the doors opened revealing Haruhi and the Zuka club.

_This is it!_

I gave the hand signal to start the plan.

"Ouran," Tweedledum sang.

"Ouran," Followed by Tweedledee.

"Ouran," Sang Mori, though still in his usual deep voice.

"Ouran," Sang Kyoya, which I struggled to suppress laughter.

"Ouran," Honey sang.

On my cue, the lights came back on when Tamaki sang "Ooouurrraaan!"

"Host cluuuub!" Rossi and I sang.

I sang in the most boyish voice I could, which turned out to be Scottish for some reason.

"Welcome to!" All of us chorused, the lights turned back on.

As predicted the Zuka club and Dearest were speechless.

"Oh, Haruhi welcome back!" Tamaki walked forward, as instructed speaking slightly feminine.

"Look, Haru-Chan, I'm a princess now! Aren't I cute?" Honey told her.

"Do you like our new look Dearest?" I asked still doing the voice, gesturing to the Hosts with my cane.

"What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to make fun of womankind?" Benio demanded.

"The opposite actually, they are embracing their inner womanhood," I clarified.

"It's the freebie campaign! Guaranteed to make even a crying child smile. My dears, you ladies have lived sheltered lives at Lobelia. So you might not know that commoners are weak. They have a weakness for free things. Haruhi you may be drawn to the Zuka club. But choose us and not only will you gain a Host club full of brothers but sisters as well! This means you can experience feminine bonding whilst staying in the Host club," Tamaki persuaded.

"Isn't that a great idea! Aren't I pretty?" Tamaki added.

"We're the Hitachiin sisters. Which one of us is prettier?" Admittedly I thought the Tweeds did the best female voices out of the Hosts.

"I'm just teasing you," Hikaru commented before Kaoru did a girly laugh.

"Listen Haru-Chan you can call me big sis from now on," Honey spoke up.

_This is better than I imagined! I'm going to burst soon. _

I started to shake slightly struggling to hold the laughter in.

Mori and Kyoya were next to come forward. Though they didn't speak to Haruhi Groot tapped his tambourine and smiled. Kyoya just hid his face with his fan.

"Do you idiots think you can win her over like this? I've had enough of your fooling around!" Benio snapped.

At that moment, Haruhi finally burst into uncontrollable laughter, and as laughter is contagious I soon joined her, rolling around on the floor.

"This is too much! I don't even get what you're trying to do? I knew you were all a bunch of goofballs but geez!" Haruhi laughed, in tears at that point.

"This is the greatest thing I've ever done!" I declared in between laughs

"This was your idea?"

"Of course, it has Tomuru written all over it!" Marcel called from the side.

"Are we really that funny?" The twins teased getting up close to Haruhi, making her laugh harder.

Honey joined the twins in torturing Haruhi, the three of them demanding on being called big sister as they chased Haruhi around the room.

"Say it pleeeeeaase," They persisted.

"C'mon cut it out! What were you thinking? What's gotten into you guys?" Haruhi calmed down.

"We did this because we didn't want you leaving the Host club Haruhi," Hikaru answered, to which Haruhi smile.

"Well, maiden have you made your choice?" Benio asked.

"Yeah I have. I'm sorry but your club's not for me. I think the idea of a girl's school is great and your views are unique and interesting. But I came to this school with a goal and a plan for the future. So while I appreciate the offer I really already knew that I was never going to leave Ouran academy," Haruhi politely turned down.

"And you maiden?" Benio asked me.

"Ah, the thing is I don't actually go to Ouran academy. I go to a 'commoner school' you see. Besides even if I did want to transfer to your academy my academic record isn't exactly good enough for higher class education. Sorry ladies," I also turned down.

"HARUHI! Hang on if you knew you weren't going to leave then why did you act so angry yesterday?" Tamaki demanded.

"How would you like it if someone stole something from you without asking you? I really liked that pencil it was easy to write with!" Haruhi snapped.

"I'm sorry. But I was kind enough to offer you my teddy bear pencil in exchange but you said you didn't want it!" Tamaki whined.

"That's right and I still don't want it," Haruhi grumbled.

"Did you know that Haruhi wasn't going to leave?" Kyoya asked me.

"Course I did," I responded.

"So we didn't need to dress up in this attire then?" he growled.

"Not really. I just wanted to see you guys wear dresses," I shrugged, smiling cheekily.

"By the way, you look very pretty Shadow lord," I complimented patronisingly.

"Shut up...did you just call me Shadow lord?" Kyoya asked smirking.

"Huh guess I did. I still get that favour, though," I reminded him.

"I know, it's not like you let me forget it," he grumbled.

"You forget something?" I scoff.

"It could happen."

"We're not going to give up on you maidens," I heard Benio, which caught my attention.

"I swear this to you some day we will come and rescue you from this place. And when we do we'll abolish the Ouran Host club!" Benio continued determinedly.

"Well, adieu," The Zuka club twirled away laughing.

_Is that how drama people travel around? Don't they get dizzy?_

Before the doors closed I saw the three of them slip on random banana peels.

Then the dreaded sound of a platform rising was heard.

"Oh, not prissy pink bow again!" I moaned.

"And so a new rival the Zuka club has appeared. From this point on the story's going to get even more exciting! What will happen to our beloved Host club boys next? Hang in there Host club, don't give up boys!" Renge flapped her mouth before she took a bite out of a banana.

"Where's Bernard? What's with the monkey? How many lackeys does she have?" I questioned to myself.

"Hey, it's not your job to cook things up!" Tamaki shouted up to her before he slipped on a random banana peel.

"Can we take off these dresses now?" Kyoya sighed.

"Fine, Marcel did you get all that?" I asked.

"Yep, everything's on here," He tapped his camera

"Excellent!"

* * *

**Me: Hoped you enjoyed it lovelies! Since this episode was short I'll try and think of something for part 3.**

**Tomuru: Tomuru's Tidbits!**

**Me: Yep and, this time, I will talk about Tomuru's favourite animals.**

**Me: As she said in Episode 1 Part 3 her favourite animal is Boris, her blind Shar Pei. However, she also has a fondness for snakes, as you probably guessed. What's your favourite snake Tomuru?**

**Tomuru: Kaa and Zu Zu! **

**Me:...I meant what breed of snake. Cobra, milk snake, corn snake, pythons that sorta thing.**

**Tomuru: Oooh...No idea**

**Me: Before I finish the readers might like to know where you got Boris from.**

**Tomuru: I got Boris from a rescue shelter when he was seven months old. No one else wanted to take home a blind dog. But it was love at first sight for me! He's so wrinkly!**

**Me: Aww well on that note seeya next time lovelies! **


	27. Episode 9 Part 3

**Me: Hello Lovelies! Since last Saturday was Valentine's day I decided to do a Host club Valentine's special random episode!**

**Tomuru: They're little cupids in disguise.**

**Kyoya: Well I'm certainly not!**

**Tomuru: You're evil cupid. **

**Kyoya: Moron**

**Me: Anyway to _Cup O' Tea Mad Hatter _I think Tomuru would like you to opt for the second option.**

**Tomuru: Yes please I don't need any more enemies thanks!**

**Me: Also a big thank you to those of you who have reviewed I really appreciate it! To _Guest27, _I will be including Kasanoda, if that's who you're thinking of. I'm going to try and include some manga chapters as well (because the manga is just as glorious as the anime!). **

**Enjoy this chapter lovelies!**

* * *

**RANDOM EPISODE!**

**A Host Club Valentine**

Valentine's day was here, a day practically made for the Host club. So in order to honour this holiday of romance, as Tamaki put it, the Host club is hosting yet another dance. The Host club Valentines ball!

"Did you know that St Valentine is not only the patron saint of love, but also beekeeping, epilepsy, and the plague?" I told Tamaki as I helped put up decorations.

"Really? I never knew!" Tamaki replied.

"Where did you source this fact?" Kyoya asked, looking sceptical.

"From a reliable, informative source," I said confidently.

"Tumblr?" Haruhi guessed.

"…Yeah," I admitted.

"Hikaru, Kaoru have the heart balloons been inflated?" Tamaki asked.

"Just a few more to go, boss," Hikaru called.

"…Balloons?" I paled looking towards the far corner where the twins inflated pink and red helium balloons.

"Oh no," Haruhi groaned.

"What's wrong Tomo Chan?" Honey asked worriedly.

"You could've told us you planned on having balloons!" Rossi accused Tamaki.

"Sugar has a balloon phobia," Haruhi supplied, as I gripped onto the ladder.

I heard the Tweeds cackling from the corner.

"BALLOONS!" the twins laughed.

"Hey, they are unpredictable and untrustworthy! Plus they always seem to pop in my face!" I defended, which caused them to laugh even more.

"I am NOT going to attend this dance if those popping menaces will be there," I refused firmly.

"They won't be near you Tomuru. The balloons will be placed at the corners of the dance hall for decoration nothing more," Kyoya explained.

"…Fine but I'm going to be extremely uncomfortable and wary throughout. Have that on your conscious," I accepted with reluctance.

"If that was an attempt to make me feel guilty then you failed," Kyoya responded coolly.

"Come on let's get this decoration finished," Haruhi stated impatiently, supporting the ladder I was on.

"Fiiine," I drawled, hanging up the last of the cherub and heart chains.

"Done!" I announced climbing down the ladder.

"Excellent job daughter the ballroom looks wonderful!" Tamaki gushed.

"Thanks so is everything set for tonight?" I asked.

"Yes, everything is prepared," Kyoya confirmed.

"Now we need to get ready. To the changing rooms' people," Tamaki instructed.

Once at the changing rooms, I changed into a corset fit red cocktail dress with matching red sparkly bow tied in my hair. As well as velvet red three-inch heels. The twins then put on red lipstick and mascara.

"Done," They told me, once they finished colouring me in.

"Great, I'm gonna head back to the ballroom," I replied.

"I'll join you the guests will be arriving soon," Kyoya said, who was wearing a dark purple suit with a light purple rose on his lapel.

"Ok."

Once we arrived I headed straight towards the Valentine's themed buffet. However to my horror, a barricade of balloons floated between me and the food.

"Oh come on! I am not getting starved this time! Shadow lord please just waft the menaces away?" I pleaded to which he rolled his eyes.

Then excited chatter was heard behind the ballroom doors.

"Sorry, I have to let in the guests," Kyoya excused himself and walked away from me.

"No, wait, Kyoya!" I whined, looking sadly back at the food table.

"I'm watching you," I threatened, narrowing my eyes at the heart balloons.

The guests rushed in ecstatically, commenting on the decoration.

"Good evening ladies, you all look wonderful!" I greeted.

"So do you Tomuru. I love that colour on you," A regular of Haruhi, Azumi, gushed.

"Thanks, you're all welcome to enjoy the buffet whilst you wait," I called to them, to which they headed to the buffet.

As planned the balloons were moved to the side to let the guests through.

"Yes, now's my chance!" I cheered, almost reaching the table before Kyoya grabbed me.

"Uuuuuh!" I protested.

"We have to meet up with the others to properly greet the guests."

"Uuuuuh!" I repeated, making grabby hands towards the direction of the food.

"You're so childish," Kyoya sighed.

He dragged me to the ballroom balcony where the other Hosts stood.

"You look lovely Sugar," Haruhi commented, wearing a dark red suit with a black waistcoat with red love hearts dotted around it.

"Uuuuuh!"

"She's moaning because she wanted to stuff her face with food," Kyoya supplied.

"Ah," Haruhi replied.

"Cheer up Tomo Chan we'll eat sweets later kay?" Honey offered, wearing a peach coloured suit, with matching bow and dark pink waistcoat.

"Fine," I sighed, giving a smile to Honey Senpai to satisfy him.

I looked at what the remaining hosts wore. Tamaki had a white suit and silver waistcoat, Mori had a navy suit and light blue waistcoat and the twins wore matching pinstriped red suits with bowler hats. Each Host also wore a rose on their lapel, each with their own Host colour. Rossi wore a pink knee-length dress with sequin roses dotted all over it.

"Is there a reason for wearing the roses?" I asked.

"Ah, all will be revealed daughter dear," Tamaki answered mysteriously with a wink.

Then he turned his attention to the guests below, who were waiting in anticipation.

"Welcome, my princesses to the Host club Valentine's day ball! We invite you to dance the night away with your favourite Host. At the end, a special Valentine's day surprise will be in store," Tamaki announced, to which the ladies went into Moe mode as expected.

"Valentine's day surprise?" I queried, as we went downstairs.

"Yeah, it was kinda last minute," Haruhi responded.

As the Hosts were preoccupied I attempted to get at least a heart shaped cookie. However, the balloons returned.

"It's like they're guarding the food!" I stated huffily.

However when I turned around one of them was facing me, before _'POP'! _I stood there frozen in shock as the balloon popped right on my face. The culprits were the dastardly Tweeds who were currently laughing at my shocked expression.

"Your face is priceless!" the twins laughed.

I continued to stare where the balloon was before my eyes welled up and I started to sniffle. Then tears rolled down my face and my nose began to run a little. This made the Tweeds stop laughing.

"Y-you s-shocked m-me!" I whimpered, more tears dripping down.

"We're sorry Doggie! Don't cry, don't cry!" the twins spoke in a panic, putting their arms around me and trying to stop the crying.

"I'll get some napkins and a huge plate of food!" Hikaru offered, running towards the buffet.

When he returned they shepherded me to the outside balcony.

"See? No balloons here Tomuru," Kaoru comforted nervously, gesturing to around us whilst Hikaru handed me a napkin.

I dried my eyes and blew my nose, calming down.

"If Rossi saw that you two would've been thrashed," I chuckled, feeling a lot better.

"Duh, that's why we took you out here with no witnesses!" Hikaru responded, handing me the food.

"Yes finally, thanks, guys!" I cheered, before gorging myself on food.

"I don't think I've ever seen you cry before Doggie," Hikaru commented.

"Except from crying with laughter. We certainly didn't expect that kind of reaction from ya," Kaoru added.

"Yeah, we just thought you would thwack us," Hikaru said.

"You popped a frickin balloon on my face! Of course, I was gonna be shocked. How would you like it if I shoved the thing you fear in your face!" I paused from eating.

"True, sorry Doggie," The twins spoke honestly, looking sorry for themselves.

"One thing before I forgive you," I thwacked the twins in the head.

"Yeah I guess we deserved that," Kaoru spoke in pain, through gritted teeth.

"Yep, now I forgive ya," I forgave them before finishing off the last of the food Hikaru gave me.

"Whoa, you went through that quick," Hikaru commented in surprise.

"I was hungry," I defended.

"We're gonna head back inside to dance with the guests. Ya coming?"

"Nah I'm gonna stay in a balloon free zone for a bit," I turned down.

"Kay," They shrugged before heading off.

I leant on the balcony and looked outside, the full moon shining down on the surroundings. I heard someone walk up and stand beside me. I glanced to see Dearest, red-faced and panting a little.

"Aright there Dearest?" I asked.

"So many guests want to dance with me this time!" she groaned.

"Well on the plus side it means you've gained more guests than you had at the previous dance party," I pointed out.

"True, so you're out here to get away from the balloons right?" Haruhi sussed.

"Pretty much, I've had enough of balloons for one day. I actually got to eat this time around!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, the Tweeds felt guilty for popping a balloon in my face," I supplied.

"They did what? Oh, I'm going to give them such a scolding!" Haruhi growled.

"Well, I've already thwacked them. I think they were taken aback because I cried a bit," I spoke casually.

"They made you cry?" Haruhi seethed.

"Dearest just keep it in until the guests leave alright? No need to make a big hullaballoo about it," I told her.

"…Fine," She huffed reluctantly.

"Haruhi can I dance with you please?" Azumi requested.

"Coming! Are you gonna be ok here on your own?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah sure, go one be off with ya," I pushed her towards Azumi, who giggled a little at us.

When Haruhi left I returned to my leaning spot. After a while, I felt myself go a little drowsy before someone placed their hand on their shoulder. This, of course, made me jump out of my skin.

"Naughty kazoos!" I gasped in surprise, turning to see the Shadow lord beside me.

"Are you planning to remain here the whole night?" Kyoya asked.

"No, I plan to go home at a reasonable hour," I answered to which he rolled his eyes.

"I meant the whole dance moron," He reiterated.

"Yep," I confirmed.

"You'll go hungry again," Kyoya tried to influence me with food.

"Aha, not, this time, shadow lord! The twins gave me food earlier," I stated smugly, holding up the empty plate beside me.

"Worth a shot, I suppose we'd have to do it here then," He said.

"Do what here?" I uttered in confusion, setting the plate down.

Shadow lord then held his hand out to me.

"I'm curious to see if your dancing skills have improved since last time," Kyoya stated.

"I doubt it unless the goddess of dancing graced me with fancy dancy feet," I scoffed, but I took his hand anyway.

"Wait we need music," I realised we couldn't hear the music from here.

I took out my phone and put on the first song that came up.

"Kay!" I went back in position.

_"__Whooooooo!_

_Well I saw a thing coming out of the sky,_

_It had one long horn and one big eye,_

_I commenced the shaking and I said ooh ee,_

_It looks like a purple people eater to me._

_It was a-"_

"Aww come on," I moaned when Kyoya paused the song.

"We are not waltzing to whatever that drivel was," Kyoya stated firmly, handing me back my phone.

"Tis Purple people eater and it's MY favourite!" I defended.

"Of course, it is," He sighed before checking his watch, "It's time for the Valentine's surprise anyway. Come along."

"Noooo," I moaned.

He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation before he lifted me up bridal style.

"Unhand me vile creature!" I demanded.

"Shut up!" he grumbled, scowling before he walked off with me.

"No!" I snapped, stubbornly clinging to the doorframe.

"Tomuru!" Kyoya snapped, giving me an evil glare at me that made me reluctantly let go.

A few guests gushed over me getting carried by Kyoya, not noticing Kyoya had a scowl on his face and I was grouching. He put me down roughly when we reached the inside balcony where the other Hosts were.

"It was the only way to get her here," Kyoya supplied at the question on the Hosts minds.

I stood by Haruhi with my arms crossed. Dearest was wiggling her eyebrows at me along with the twins, to which I flicked their noses.

"Hey, that hurts a little," Hikaru pouted.

"Oh shush," I waved off.

"Now princesses it is time for the Valentine's Day surprise," He paused as the girls squealed enthusiastically, "The name of each guest has been placed in this hat," Tamaki holds up a large top hat. "One at a time each Host will pull out the name of a guest. The lucky guest will get the Host's rose and wins a date planned by the Host in question," Tamaki explained, causing a mass amount of Moe.

"I shall choose first," He decided, making the room quieter in anticipation.

"Ryuko Hibachi!" He proclaimed, to which a girl in a sparkly blue dress with her hair in pigtails shrieked happily bouncing up and down as the others looked at her with envy.

One at a time each Host called out a name and handed their roses. With only three Hosts remaining Honey, Mori and Kyoya. Honey Senpai was up next.

"Tomuru Okiro…that's you, Tom Chan!" Honey called out.

It took a moment to process but it finally dawned on me.

"I'm going on a date with you Honey Senpai?"

"Uh huh isn't it great!" Honey confirmed, handing me his rose.

"…Sure," I smiled at his cheerful expression as we hugged.

Finally, Mori and Kyoya called out the names they picked out.

"Well, I'm afraid this glorious night has come to an end. I hope you enjoyed it princesses, and to those lucky winners, I congratulate you," Tamaki said.

The Hosts went to say goodbye to the girls while I remained where I was with Rossi.

"Hmmm," I looked down at the rose thoughtfully.

"Who wrote your name in I wonder?" Rossi thought aloud.

"That's what I'm wondering," I agreed.

"Well, I thought that went marvellously," Tamaki commented once the guests left the Hosts joined us.

"Who put my name in the Goblet of Fire?" I demanded.

"Wrong world Sugar," Haruhi whispered.

"Oh sorry I mean who put my name in the top hat?" I corrected myself.

"It was you two wasn't it?" I accused the Tweeds.

"Hey it wasn't us!" they defended themselves.

"Riiight," I drawled sceptically.

Haruhi stepped up to the Tweeds and thwacked them on the head.

"OW hey what was that for?" they demanded, rubbing their sore noggins.

"For making my best friend cry!" Haruhi snapped.

"Oh," Was all they said.

"You done, Dearest?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's all the justice I need," Haruhi responded.

"YOU TWO MADE MY DARLING DAUGHTER CRY!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Dad it's water under the bridge they've been punished twice already," I stated firmly,

"Fine," Tamaki mumbled.

**Walking back home…**

"So you and Honey Senpai on a date eh?" Rossi conversed.

"Yeah, it'll be fun. We're probably just gonna eat cake and play in the park and stuff. Hopefully, no actual kissing, though. I love Honey to pieces but I don't think I'd feel comfortable kissing such an innocent sweetie pie," I commented.

"Darn, I was hoping you'd get a date with Kyoya Senpai," Haruhi grumbled.

"So it was you! You little sneaky shrew!" I accused.

"What can I say I ship you guys," Haruhi shrugged.

* * *

**_ watch?v=CPL503kUo3Y_**

**Me: Above is the link to Purple People Eater for those curious to listen to the song.**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Indeed and today we'll be listing all of Tomuru's nicknames she has for her friends (and enemy) so far.**

**Tomuru: They are...**

***Haruhi- Dearest (though that's more of a pet name)**

***Kyoya- Shadow Lord**

***Hikaru- Tweedledum**

***Kaoru- Tweedledee**

***Mori- Groot**

***Renge- Prissy pink bow**

**Tomuru: I don't have ones for Honey or Tamaki yet but I will just you wait!**

**Me: Seeya next time lovelies!**


	28. Episode 10 Part 1

**Me: Hello lovelies again sorry for updating late. **

**Special thanks to ****justaislinn, Cup O'Tea Hatter for your reviews. **

**Tomuru: Thanks for making a club about me! It makes me feel special.**

**Me: Uh you do realise it's a club that ships you and Kyoya together right?**

**Tomuru: Beg ya pardon?**

**Haruhi: Can I join? Kyomuru club!**

**Tomuru: Oi!**

**Kyoya: There is no way on earth I'd go out with her.**

**Tomuru: Hey you could a lot worse than me shadow lord!**

**Me: Any who enjoy this chapter lovelies.**

* * *

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Wake up!" I demanded, but no budge, Tomuru was still asleep.

"Oh, why do I bother?" I grumbled, grabbing my bag before heading out of my room.

I left a note for Tomuru before I head to the shop, ya know in case Sugar magically woke up.

**Kyoya's Narrative **

"What does that idiot want now?" I groaned tiredly, answering the phone.

"Hey, Kyoya there's something I need to talk to you about," Tamaki stated seriously, to which I grunted in response.

"What if my darling daughters and son are living in poverty?"

"Doubtful since Tomuru and Rossi's mother is an author and Haruhi's father works at a bar," I responded, putting the phone on speakerphone.

"Still I must see for myself," Tamaki insisted.

"Then go no one's stopping you."

"On my own? I can't go to Haruhi's house by myself! You have to come with me!" Tamaki uttered in a panic.

"I think not," I denied bluntly.

It is too early for Tamaki's crap.

"Oh come on Mommy, pleeeeeeaaaassse! Aren't you a teensy bit curious about Haruhi's and Tomuru's living conditions?" Tamaki begged.

"…Fine," I reluctantly allowed.

"YAY! I'll pick you up in an hour," Tamaki cheered before I hung up on him.

"Moron," I muttered as I made a few calls myself.

I decided it would be best if everyone came along.

"Hey, Kyoya you're never up this early," Kaoru answered his phone.

"Tamaki has planned to visit Haruhi and Tomuru. Interested in coming along?"

"He's planned to visit Haruhi without us? Hell yeah, we're coming along!" Hikaru answered.

"Good we're meeting at my house in an hour," I supplied.

"Great we'll be there seeya later."

I made similar calls to Honey and Mori Senpai before getting in the shower. This is going to be interesting.

**Haruhi's narrative**

_That was some sale. There's no better time to hit the supermarket than a Sunday morning. Now all I've gotta do when I get home is clean and do some laundry. Hopefully, Sugar will be up soon to help me out. _

I stopped in my tracks when I saw two fancy sleek cars in front of my apartment building.

_What's going on? Why are they in front of our apartments?_

"Is this for some kind of movie shoot?" I heard one of my neighbours wonder, from a small crowd that gathered near the cars.

"Rich people, rich people!" a boy twirled and sang.

Then a chauffeur came out the car and opened the door for the passengers to come out.

_I should have known it was the Hosts. Why the hell are they here?_

As the Hosts gawked at my apartment building I leaned on a nearby lamppost with my forehead, in exasperation.

**Kyoya's Narrative**

"Wow, so this is where Haruhi lives?" Kaoru stated in awe.

"It's pretty big huh? Bigger than I thought it'd be," Hikaru commented.

"Yeah look at all the rooms!" Honey agreed.

This building is what you might call an aggregate commoner dwelling. Haruhi's home is only one of these units in this building," I explained.

"Kyoya why, why did you bring these idiots with us? Especially those two doppelgangers," Tamaki moaned.

"Well, you see I know you didn't have the courage to come alone so I thought it would be best if everyone came along," I answered.

"Alright let's go home I guess I underestimated our great leader," I sighed, shepherding the twins away from Tamaki.

"What? I'm not going home!" the twins exclaimed.

"I'm sorry don't leave! I don't want to be alone," Tamaki pleaded.

"Now listen up men don't you forget! We must be polite. This is a casual; we just happened to be in the neighbourhood sort of visit. We're not here to judge the Fujioka family's lifestyle. The words shabby, cramped and rundown are absolutely forbidden! Don't say anything that will offend Haruhi or her father and causes them to ask us to leave," Tamaki instructed.

"Well, it's too late for that go away!" Haruhi interrupted, looking frustrated.

"Haruhi," Tamaki said in surprise.

"That pink dress is pretty cute," Tamaki, the twins and Honey complimented.

"Shut up! Just get the hell outta here!" Haruhi snapped.

"Haruhi's so upset she actually cursed at us!" Tamaki shrieked, before blaming the twins.

"Hey it wasn't us," the twins defended themselves.

_What a moron._

**Haruhi's narrative**

"Excuse me Haruhi but is everything alright?"

"Oh hi miss landlady," I turned my attention to my concerned landlady.

"Those men are driving such fancy foreign cars they're not Yakuza are they? Do you want me to call the police for you?" the landlady asked worriedly.

"Um no it's ok," I assured politely before Tamaki intervened.

"Please to meet you, Madam. My name's Suoh I'm one of Haruhi's friends," Tamaki charmed the landlady.

"Really? Well, my goodness aren't you just adorable," The landlady gushed.

_And he's got her._

"We're just stopping by. We didn't mean to cause a scene, I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's no problem," The landlady assured then giggled like a schoolgirl.

"I'll stop by later with some snacks for you and your friends, seeya later," She told me before heading off.

I turned my attention to the Hosts again. I sighed and gestured them to follow me up to my front door.

"Ok here's the deal I'm only letting you guys have a quick peek. Three seconds and then you all go home got it?" I insisted.

"Look I got you a gift Haru-Chan. I know how much you love cake. There's both chocolate and strawberry," Honey spoke up, holding up a blue box with a pink ribbon.

"Fine guess I'll make some tea," I sighed, opening the front door.

"A wood built two bedroom unit. That's normal for a commoner family of two," Kyoya commented.

"Haruhi's such a pipsqueak, at least, we know she won't hit her head on the low ceiling," Hikaru commented.

"Well, I think it's a super cute little room," Honey praised.

"Ya know you don't have to struggle to compliment it," I remarked, taking my sandals off.

"Hold on do we have to take off our shoes too?" Honey asked.

"Please if you don't mind," I answered.

"Did you hear that? We have to take our shoes off. It's kinda like going to the dojo huh?" Honey spoke to Mori.

Yeah," Mori answered.

"Do you have any slippers for us Haruhi?" Hikaru asked.

"Wait the rooms are covered with tatami mats," Kaoru commented.

"In that case, we don't need slippers."

"Great thanks for inviting us in," Hikaru, Kaoru and Honey chirped.

"Yeah, thanks," Mori said.

"It's greatly appreciated," Tamaki thanked.

"Yes, thanks, Haruhi," Kyoya thanked.

"Wah oh talk about small," Hikaru commented.

"Ow," Mori uttered, banging his head on the doorway.

"Careful that lightbulb's just hanging from the ceiling," Kaoru warned.

"This place is quite unpleasant but I think I may have underestimated commoner housing. I know it's a tight fit in here men but just pull your knees in and sit gym style. Commoners have specially developed this technique to conserve space," Tamaki told the others.

_Do they not know I can hear them? I just need to get through this visit. I should have expected this from them._

I'm going to make us some tea," I told them through gritted teeth.

"Hey here's an idea. Why don't you make us this? It's black tea that our father gave us as a souvenir from Africa. Here try it," Hikaru suggested, handing me an orange bag.

"Um sure no problem."

"It's best served as milk tea. Do you have any milk?" Kaoru asked.

"I think so. When was the last time I brought some milk?" I wondered to myself.

I went to make the tea though it took longer since I had to brew it in a teapot.

"I'm sorry Haruhi you don't have to go to all that trouble. We don't need any tea we'll be fine with a glass of water," Kaoru changed his mind.

"What? It's no trouble. Besides, I've already made it," I replied, taking the tray of teas over to them.

"Ok guys, I'm sorry that not all of the cups match," I apologised as I handed their teas to them.

"I'm just going to wake up Tomuru," I told them.

"Tomo Chan's here?"

"Yeah, we sleepover at each other's homes at the weekend," I supplied.

"We'll wake her!" the twins offered, with a cheeky glint in their eyes.

"Alright, she's in the farthest room down the hall," I told them to which they rushed down there.

**Tomuru's narrative**

_"__They've got us surrounded!" Hikaru yelled._

_"__Any ideas?" Dearest turned to me worriedly._

_"__Just keep the barricades and pray to any deity you want. We may have to wait this out," I instructed grimly._

_The quacks increased in volume and the hideout began to shake._

_"__They're trying to get through the door!" Rossi warned us._

_The barricaded door began to crack._

_"__God Dammit! Weapons ready people, anything you can find!" I growled._

_The door's hinged broke completely and a flurry of Bernards tumbled in._

_"__Kill as many as you can and don't get bit!" I shouted._

_"__There's too many of them!" Tamaki shrieked, how he managed to survive I'll never know._

_We shot and slashed but more and more came through._

"Wake up Doggie!"

_What the…?_

"WAKE UP!"

I jolted up in surprise, instinctively punching someone in the face.

"OW what the hell Doggie!" Hikaru exclaimed, clutching his face.

I stared at them blearily before I proceeded to laugh.

"It's not funny!" the Tweeds snapped, Kaoru examining the lump that appeared on Hikaru's forehead.

"I beg to differ Tweeds," I concurred.

"Hang on what are you two doing here?" I realised that we were in Haruhi's room.

"We came to see where Haruhi's lives. Along with the Boss, Kyoya, Honey and Mori," Kaoru answered.

"Ok," I shrugged getting out of Haruhi's bed.

"What?" I asked when the twins were blushing furiously.

"Oooh," I realised I wasn't wearing pyjama bottoms, so the Tweeds could see my red and black striped knickers.

"Ahem!" I fake coughed getting their attention back to my face.

"You should probably see to that lump," I advised, to which they nodded.

"And I mean the one on your head not in the trouser region," I added before giggling again.

"Shut up!" the Tweeds both groaned before they left me to get ready.

I quickly put on fresh knickers and olive green jogging bottoms, keeping on my long sleeved purple and grey striped shirt I slept in. I then went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before I met up with them.

I quickly greeted Haruhi's mother before I went to the living room.

"Morning Kotiko," I greeted bowing my head in respect.

"Hello, Smellos," I greeted them, sitting beside Tamaki and the Tweeds.

"Hey, Tomo Chan I saved you some chocolate cake," Honey greeted.

"Aw, thanks, Honey, cake for breakfast!" I replied, taking the slice of cake and took a bite.

"You could, at least, grab a plate," Haruhi sighed.

"Nah," I denied, with a mouthful of cake.

"Your table manners are so gracious," Kyoya remarked sarcastically.

"By the way, why does Hikaru have a lump on his head?" Kyoya added.

"Doggie punched me in the face," Hikaru grumbled.

"Yeah, she does that sometimes. Still dreaming about the Bernard invasion," Haruhi guessed.

"Yep but things are getting dramatic. The Tweeds woke me up at a cliff-hanger," I responded, taking another bite.

Just then Mori Senpai gave Haruhi his strawberries from his cake.

"You like strawberries right? You can have mine," Mori offered.

"Thanks, that's nice of you Mori Senpai," Haruhi thanked cheerfully.

"Love hexagon," I whispered to myself.

"WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?"

"I SHOULD BE SHARING STRAWBERRIES WITH HER!"

"WHY'D WE LET HIM TRICK US?"

Tamaki and the Tweeds were having a tantrum.

"Calm down," I told them though they paid no attention.

"They're trying not to insult Haruhi so they can stay," Kyoya supplied.

"Oh-kay?"

"Eating all that cake sure wet my appetite," Honey sighed contently.

"Yeah isn't it lunchtime about now?" Hikaru commented.

"Well then what's for lunch?" the Tweeds and Tamaki asked Haruhi.

"Will you guys quit being so happy go lucky all the time please?" Haruhi grumbled.

"We'll take care of it, after all, we did drop in unexpectedly. So we'll pay for lunch. Why don't you order us all some of your favourite sushi?" Kyoya offered.

"And something that won't make me go blotchy and rashy," I piped up.

"That too."

"Thanks but no thanks. I know that if I let you guys pay I'll only regret it later," Haruhi turned down.

"Oh don't worry Haruhi. We'll just use the profits of the photos of you, we auctioned off," Kyoya stated, getting out a gold credit card.

"Sorry, I'm really paying for it after all," Haruhi groaned.

"Well if that's what you want I do have a friend who runs a nice little sushi shop nearby so I can just give them a call. Their stuff's pretty high quality," Haruhi responded.

Then Tamaki furiously scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to Haruhi.

"Remember Haruhi just because the packaging says premium doesn't mean its high quality," Haruhi read aloud, before crumpling it up and putting it in the bin.

"I'm not stupid I can figure that out on your own," Haruhi growled.

"How could you do that? Daddy even tried to look casual to not embarrass you!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"That was casual?" I scoffed.

"I'd really love it if you made us something to eat Haru-Chan," Honey interjected.

"NO HONEY SENPAI!" Hikaru objected.

"HOW COULD YOU ASK THAT OF HER?" Kaoru demanded.

"DON'T UPSET HER! TRY AND RESTRAIN YOURSELF!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Well I could whip something up but it may take some time," Haruhi replied.

"We can wait!" Honey cheered.

"WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?"

"THIS MEANS WE GET TO EAT HARUHI'S COOKING!"

The three of them sobbed in happiness.

"Seriously guys how Dearest can ignore your shouts I'll never know," I sighed.

"I'm going to have to run down to the supermarket again," Haruhi said.

"We're coming with you. We want to see a commoner's supermarket," Hikaru and Kaoru insisted.

"Me too, me too!" Honey chirped.

"This could be a learning experience," Kyoya added.

"Well alright," Haruhi agreed.

"Yay! Commoner's supermarket, commoner's supermarket!" the Tweeds and Honey sang, dashing out the door.

"This is going to be fun," Honey commented.

"Guys it's just the frickin supermarket!" I remarked, trailing behind them.

* * *

**Me: Time for Tomuru's Tidbits again!**

**Tomuru: Hey I usually introduce it!**

**Me: So this week I'll tell ya about Tomuru's family background.**

**Tomuru was born in Japan. however her father is Japanese and her mother was born in Egypt and came over to Japan with her family when she was ten. So Tomuru and Rossi are dark skinned and blue eyed like her mother. Yuki and Marco have brown eyes and have a more caramel skin tone. **

**Tomuru: Yeah I go to Egypt every year to visit my grandparents, who returned to Egypt after retirement.**

**Me: Seeya next time lovelies! Love ya **


	29. Episode 10 Part 2

**Me: Hey here's the net chapter lovelies. Hope you're treating your mums this Mother's day!**

**Tomuru: We went out to Motherlord's favourite restaurant today, it was lovely!**

**Me: Aww that was nice. **

**I was going to have all the Hosts visit Tomuru's house next chapter, however, I thought of something much more fun.**

**As always I love Cup O' Tea Hatter for creating the Kyomuru club and to everyone who reviewed a big thank you and lots of love! I really do appreciate all you lovely lot X.**

**Tomuru: Sappy sod**

**Me: Shush you!**

* * *

We passed Ranka on the steps.

"Ranka, good morning," I greeted, hugging him.

"Shouldn't you still be asleep?" Ranka chuckled, returning the hug.

"I would be if the Tweeds didn't barge in! The Hosts are here just so you know," I supplied.

"So that's who those cute boys were who passed the stairs."

"Uh huh, though I don't know where they are now, though," I looked around to find myself Hostless.

"I'll just go get them," I told Ranka.

"Is Haruhi still at home?"

"Yeah."

Ranka smiled and continued upstairs, as I turned and walked downstairs to catch up to the Hosts.

"Are they still not ready yet?" Hikaru sighed when I caught up with them.

"Change of plan come along," I gestured them to follow me back up the stairs.

"What?" the twins groaned.

"C'mon those two might be snogging for all we know," I commented, to two ginger-haired blurs blew past me.

"Knew that would get them moving," I chuckled.

"So why are we delaying the trip?" Kyoya asked.

"You'll see," I left it at that and walked up the stairs.

Soon we met up with the twins at Haruhi's doorway.

"Hey boss what in the world is taking you so long?" Hikaru asked.

"Whoa check it out. The tranny we passed downstairs earlier as Haruhi's father," Kaoru commented.

"Hikaru, Kaoru help me out!" Tamaki pleaded, currently beneath Ranka's foot.

Instead of helping the Tweeds decided to walk over Tamaki to introduce themselves to Ranka.

"It's nice to meet you Haruhi's dad. We're good friends of your daughters the Hitachiin twins," The twins greeted.

"So you're a transvestite huh?" Hikaru conversed.

"You're the first real transvestite we've seen," Kaoru added.

"So you finally put the moves on Haruhi huh boss?" the twins turned their attention to Tamaki, who was getting trampled on.

"Don't mind him he's a ladies man if you know what I mean," Hikaru told Ranka.

"He's a pheromone machine. In fact, I bet he's fooled around with more ladies than you can count," Kaoru added.

"He likes to fool around huh?" Ranka spoke with a deadly quiet tone.

"NOOO, I'm not a ladies man! I'm a nice guy, I care about her!" Tamaki defended himself, getting the twins to get off him.

"I'm being completely honest here I care about Haruhi like she's my own daughter, Tomuru also," Tamaki admitted honestly, on his hands and knees.

"Right now that's out the way I'll go make some tea," I spoke up, making my way to the kitchen.

"I'll help," Haruhi offered.

"What the heck happened when we left?" I whispered to her.

"Oh, Tamaki wanted to pay respects to mom before we left. Then when he stood up he slipped and fell on top of me. At that moment, my dad walked in," Haruhi summed up.

"Awkward and I take it Ranka was mad," I put two and two together.

"Yep."

We carried the tea into where the Hosts and Ranka sat.

"So you must be the Host club I've heard so much about. You sure are a bunch of good looking men I don't know which one I like most. What about you dear? Tell you what why don't you boys call me Ranka, that's my professional name I use at work," Ranka conversed.

"Professional name you mean like a stage name?" Honey questioned.

"Exactly like that Mitskuni," Ranka confirmed.

"Hold on how do you know my name sir?" Honey asked.

"You are third years Mitskuni Honinosuka and Takashi Morinosuka. And you two are first years in the same class as Haruhi, you're the Hitachiin twins."

"So Haruhi told you about us?" Kaoru questioned.

"No Kyoya told me over the phone," Ranka corrected.

"You know you really are a beautiful person Ranka," Kyoya complimented, smiling towards Ranka.

"What the fluff?" I muttered in surprise.

"Kyoya?" Tamaki demanded, grabbing Kyoya's shoulder whilst still crouched in his dark aura corner.

"We've been entrusted with the care of his precious daughter. It is only natural that we give him regular reports. Ordinarily that would be your job wouldn't it?" Kyoya responded.

"I'm surprised the club has such a capable president. But wait a minute you're only the vice president aren't you Kyoya? I guess that president is pretty much good for nothing huh?" Ranka spoke to Kyoya, whilst arrows hit Tamaki with every one of Ranka's insults.

"WHAT? YOU DIDN'T MENTION THIS TO ME DAD. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE GETTING CALLS FROM KYOYA SENPAI?" Haruhi exclaimed furiously.

"What am I supposed to do Haruhi? You never tell me anything about school," Ranka replied pouting.

"SO THAT MAKES IT OK TO TALK BEHIND MY BACK?" Haruhi turned her frustration on Tamaki, "COME ON SENPAI WILL YOU STOP MAKING MUSHROOMS IN OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOSETS!"

"Haruhi the thing about you is…you're cutesy even when you're angry!" Ranka gushed, hugging his daughter.

"Haruhi's dad reminds me of someone," Hikaru commented.

"This explains why she's so good at handling the boss," Kaoru realised.

"Wait for Haruhi where are you going?" Ranka asked when Haruhi walked away from him.

Dearest walked up to me and dragged me along with her.

"Well, I guess I'm going too," I commented.

"The supermarket alright. I need to get some things for lunch and I want to do it with Tomuru alone. So just stay here and try to behave yourselves," Haruhi stated firmly.

"Wait we want to go to the commoners supermarket!" I heard Hikaru complain as we left.

"Sorry guys maybe another time," I called to them before I shut the door and caught up with Haruhi.

"You ok Dearest?" I asked in concern as we walked to the shops.

"Yeah, just a bit peeved. I mean can you believe that?"

"Well…yeah."

"What?" Haruhi blurted out in surprise.

"Oh come on Dearest you've gotta admit this is exactly the type of thing Shadow lord does," I pointed out.

"I guess, do you think he's doing the same with your mom?"

"Maybe, but I don't know what else he could tell her. I mean I pretty much tell Motherlord everything that goes on in the Host club." I replied.

"Yeah, still I can't believe he's been calling my dad and giving him updates," Haruhi stated irritably.

"Let's not dwell on it eh?" I suggested.

"Fine, what do you think I should make for lunch?" Haruhi changed the subject.

"Probably something that can feed a lot of people."

"Good point, maybe some sorta stew?"

At that moment my phone buzzed, meaning I had text. When I looked at the screen I saw it was Kyoya texting me.

"Keep Haruhi's attention on you.

Ranka X"

"Why? Are you following her again?" I texted back.

"Yes now make sure she doesn't turn around."

"Fine."

"Who was that?" Haruhi asked.

"Just Marcel wondering if I'm having lunch at home or at you place," I lied casually, putting my phone away.

"Ok," Haruhi left it at that.

We arrived at the shop and wandered around.

"Is there anything you need getting?" Haruhi asked.

"Nah…oh wait for yes more tea," I remembered mid-sentence.

"Ok do you what to get the tea and meet me at the fruit and veg isle?" Haruhi suggested.

"Sure," I shrugged and parted.

"I wonder where the others are?" I wondered as I walked to the hot drinks aisle.

Just then I spotted Kyoya a few steps ahead of me.

"So does double coupons mean I need two of them," I heard Kyoya mutter to himself.

"Yes, it does," I answered him, to which I saw him jump slightly and spin around to face me.

"Aha, I made Shadow lord jump!" I cheered, doing a little celebratory jig.

"Shut up!" he thwacked me on the head, stopping my jig.

"Oi, a bit of an overreaction! So, enjoying the supermarket?" I conversed rubbing my head.

"It's certainly different from other stores I've been to," Kyoya admitted.

I got the tea and we went in search of the others.

"Well, would you look at that," I commented, stopping to look at Tamaki and Haruhi.

"Still think you'll win the bet?" Kyoya asked.

"Of course. It'll be too soon for those two to declare their love. Tamaki still thinks of Haruhi as a daughter and dearest are still oblivious to anything romantic," I responded confidently.

"We'll see," Kyoya remarked.

I just noticed Ranka not too far from us.

"You ok Ranka?" I asked, patting his back comfortingly.

"Just thinking about it makes my blood boiling," Ranka fumed.

"What? You mean your little girl having a special someone by her side?"

"Yes, I'm not ready to give up yet!"

"I know Ranka I know," I comforted.

Haruhi spotted us and the two of them walked towards us.

"Is everyone here?" Haruhi sighed.

"Yes," Kyoya answered.

"Great," Haruhi drawled.

"Right we should pay for our things. Why don't you guys get the Tweeds, Honey and Groot?" I suggested.

Kyoya and Tamaki went to get the others, whilst Ranka came with us to pay. We met back up with everyone outside the supermarket and headed back to Haruhi's place.

**Back at Haruhi's place…**

"So what's for lunch?" Hikaru asked.

"We're having a stew pot," Haruhi answered.

Haruhi and I were in the kitchen preparing the stew whilst the others conversed among themselves.

Once it was ready we sat at the dining table and plated up our stew.

"This looks soooo good," I commented, as I eagerly ladled the stew into my bowl.

"Hey don't hog it all!" the Tweeds complained, taking the ladle away from me before I got carried away.

"Here Tamaki, chrysanthemum your favourite," Ranka spoke pleasantly, piling on the green vegetable into Tamaki's bowl.

"Sugar will you quit eating so fast!" Haruhi scorned.

"Can't talk, eating," I mumbled whilst I ate.

* * *

**Me: This one is quite a short one I'm afraid.**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Yep and, this time, it's about Tomuru's favourite song.**

**Tomuru: Purple People Eater! I used to watch the film all the time when I was little. Motherlord used to sing it to me when I was sick.**

**Me: Aww, any type of music genre you enjoy?**

**Tomuru: Hmm I mainly enjoy the old bands. Queen, Madness, Blondie 80's and 90's music. Especially songs from when I was a kid.**

**Me: Nothing from this day an age then?**

**Tomuru: The current music is ok I suppose. Nothing beats the classics, though.**

**Me: Right Seeya next time lovelies. **


	30. Episode 10 Part 3

**Me: Hello Lovelies! Sorry, I'm late...again. I've been really busy with work experience, Easter plans and my 18th birthday! But don't worry I've got a few weeks off college so I should get to write more of this fanfic.**

**Tomuru: Yeah probably best not to get your hopes up, though.**

**Me: Yeah**

**Tomuru: Still can't believe you got to go indoor freaking skydiving!**

**Me: I neither it was amazing! Anywho on with this chapter lovelies. By the way, thanks as always to all your reviews and to Cup O' Tea Hatter I realise you probably meant cake not 'cat' like I first thought. I just got excited that you somehow foreshadowed this chapter. :)**

* * *

**RANDOM EPISODE 2**

**Honey and Tomuru's date!**

**Friday at the Host Club**

"Today's the day Tomo Chan!" Honey sang.

"What's today's the day Tomo Chan?" I asked in confusion.

"The date remember? The rest of us have done our dates now it's your turn with Honey Senpai," Haruhi reminded me.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget. So what's the plan cupcake?"

"It's a surprise," Honey giggled.

"Just have her home by midnight," Rossi spoke in a mock stern tone.

"Kay," Honey responded.

"First you need to change into the dress Honey picked out for you," Tweedledee said he and Hikaru dragged me to the changing rooms.

"Well, the dress it cute," I admitted, admiring the light blue dress with white collar and white laced trim.

Underneath the dress was a pair of matching Mary Janes with bows on each shoe. I change into the outfit and return to the Tweeds to sort out my hair and makeup.

"You're curling my hair?" I questioned when Hikaru got the curling iron out.

"Hey, we're just going by Honey's orders," Tweedledum shrugged.

"Besides, I think curled hair would suit you," Kaoru commented.

"Ok all done!" the twins announced when they were finished.

"Huh I kinda look like Motherlord, she has curly hair," I commented, twirling my finger with one of the curls.

"You should curl it more often," Rossi opinionated.

"Please, I'm too lazy to curl my hair every morning," I scoffed.

"Sugar ready for your first date? Honey Senpai's waiting," Haruhi asked.

"Yep, can you take my stuff back home?" I asked.

"Sure."

I followed behind the Tweeds to meet with the other Hosts. Honey was wearing a matching light blue suit and bow tie which looked admittedly cute.

"These are for you, Tomo Chan," Honey handed me a bunch of light blue roses.

"Aw thank you, Honey," I thanked, admiring the flowers.

_I guess light blue is the colour theme of this date. Where are these guys getting these colour spectrum roses from?_

"My darling daughter looks so cute!" Tamaki gushed, glomping me even tighter than usual.

"Choking not breathing!" I gasped, my face turning a shade of blue continuing the theme.

When I was finally freed I caught my breath back.

"Ready to go Tomo Chan?" Honey asked, linking his arm through mine.

"Lead the way cupcake," I responded chipperly.

"Seeya later guys," I added before we left.

"Have fun," I heard Rossi call out to us.

"There gonna follow us aren't they?" I predicted.

"Yep just like when we followed Haru-Chan and Kudi Chan on their date," Honey agreed.

"Ah yes, the date with Haruhi and Kudikano. That was fun to watch I admit. Especially when Kudikano insisted on kissing Haruhi," I recalled.

We stepped into the limo waiting outside and headed to Honey's surprise destination.

"So is this your first date too?" I inquired.

"Uh huh," Honey answered.

"You're date isn't too fancy right?"

"You'll see," Honey giggled.

"Ooh we're here, we're here!" Honey stated excitedly when the limo stopped.

Honey jumped out and I followed behind him. The limo stopped outside a pastel green café with a sign that read 'Neko's Nibbles' and a picture of a cartoon smiley cat at the side.

"Well this is definitely your style Honey, but I thought you were more into rabbits," I commented.

"I like a lot of cute fluffy animals! This is one of my favourite places, they have the tastiest strawberry cakes," Honey replied.

Once inside I noticed that all the staff were either in their late teens or early twenties and wore cat ear headbands and tails. Also, there were actual cats scattered around.

"Oh, my fluff!" I got startled when I had to quickly catch a cat that launched itself at me.

"Yeah, Muta does that sometimes. Hey, Honey welcome back. Do you want your usual table for you and your lady friend," A female waitress greeted.

"Yes please, Sachi Chan," Honey replied.

I placed Muta down only to have him jump back on me again.

"Looks like Muta's gotta new favourite customer," One of the male staff commented to a fellow employee.

"You can adopt him if you're interested. All the cats here are rescued and looking for homes," Sachi explained.

"You mean this is also a cat rescue centre as well as a café? That's brilliant!" I responded enthusiastically.

"So what can I get you two?" Sachi asked pen and pad at the ready.

"Two strawberry shortcakes and a large strawberry milkshake to share please," Honey ordered for the both of us.

"Ooh to share eh?" I commented.

"Coming right up! Here's a list of all the cats ready for rehoming if you are interested," Sachi handed me a booklet.

"Thanks! I'm gonna call Motherlord!" I grabbed my phone eagerly.

"You really want to adopt Muta Tomo Chan?" Honey asked.

"Yeah I'm up for adopting anything. You really shouldn't have bought me here cupcake I will take every cat if I could," I said, to which Honey giggled

"Hello?" Yuliana answered the house phone.

"Yuli! Can I adopt a-"

"Nope, you're not adopting anything. Be it a cat, dog and definitely NOT a snake!"

"Aww but these cats need homes Yucky!" I protested.

"No Tomuru!" Yuli stated firmly.

"Prickly pear," I mumbled in a pout.

"Bye, pouty pants," Yuli hung up.

"I'm not allowed," I supplied to Honey.

"Aww," Honey pouted with me.

"Eh let's not dwell on it. This place is awesome Honey, good choice," I praised.

"I knew you'd like it, Tomo Chan," Honey responded happily.

"Psst, look towards the window," I stage whispered to Honey.

To which Honey looked over and giggled. The Hosts, dearest and Rossi were there, and not even in disguise. Hell, they didn't even change out of their uniforms.

"They could've at least gotten out of their uniforms," I sighed, stroking Muta who was kneading my lap.

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"So this is the place he picked for their date?" I commented, stroking a black Persian cat on my lap.

We sat at the table beside the window observing Honey and Sugar's date.

"Hello welcome to Neko's Nibbles. What can I get for you? Oh hey, Mori," A male waiter wearing brown cat ears and tail greeted.

"Hey," Mori greeted back.

"So I take it you and Honey come here often?" Rossi presumed.

"Yeah, they're regular customers here. I take it Honey's on a date?" the waiter answered.

"Yeah the girl he's with is my sister Tomuru," Rossi responded.

"No kidding? Is that the girl he calls Tomo Chan?" the waiter asked.

"Yeah," Mori answered.

"Huh well, it's about time Honey got himself a girl. Anyway, would you like to order anything?"

We placed our orders then the guy headed to the kitchen. I ordered some green tea and a blueberry muffin.

"Well, they seem to be enjoying themselves," I commented, observing the two of them.

I noticed Tomuru had a black and white fat cat on her lap. At that moment, sugar looked in our direction, which of course meant she spotted us. She smiled and whispered to Honey looked in our direction and giggled with Tomuru.

"Well, she caught on quicker than you did. Kudikano had to point us out to you," Hikaru commented.

"Shut up, besides why are you guys insisting on spying on only Tomuru's date and mine anyway?" I asked.

"I need to be sure your date was fit for our guest and that Honey was treating my darling daughter like a princess!" Tamaki answered.

"Right?" I drawled.

"So basically, you're nosy boys," Rossi spoke up.

I turned my attention to Kyoya, hoping to see him jealous of Honey dating Tomuru. But no, he was just drinking his tea nonchalantly.

"What?" he asked when he saw me looking at him.

"Nothing just wondered what you thought about Honey and Tomuru's date," I replied casually.

He looked towards their table before responding.

"Well, it seems to be going fine," He shrugged.

"I wonder if this will lead to those two becoming an item?" Kaoru wondered.

"Nah Tomo doesn't have any romantic feelings towards Honey. She sees you lot as an extended part of her family," Rossi answered, retying his hair into a ponytail.

"Yeah, that's true," I agreed.

"We're family to her?" the twins repeated.

"Of course," Rossi confirmed.

We all turned attention back to Honey and Tomuru. I noticed all the Hosts had a smile on their faces, even Kyoya had a small smile though it quickly went after he saw me looking.

"Must. Hug. Daughter," Tamaki exclaimed, getting held back by Mori.

"Don't disturb their date," Mori stated firmly, to which Tamaki pouted and sat back down.

**Tomuru's Narrative **

"What's up with Tamaki?" I wondered to which Honey shrugged.

I ate my cake happily and quickly as Muta was eyeing it up.

"Are you having fun Tomuru?" Honey asked.

I was taken aback by Honey using my full first name before responding.

"Are ya kidding? I'm having tonnes of fun cupcake," I responded cheerfully.

"Great!" Honey replied just as cheerfully.

Once we finished our food Sachi took away the dirty dishes.

"So do you have anything else planned for us Honey?" I asked.

"Yep, come along Tomo Chan," Honey went up to the counter and paid for what we ordered.

Then we got into the limo and went to our next destination.

"Not sure how you're gonna top a cat café cupcake," I said.

"You'll see," Honey left it at that.

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Quick they're leaving!" Tamaki exclaimed, to which we paid and quickly exited the café.

"Come again soon," our waiter stated before we left.

"So where's Honey taking Doggie now?" Hikaru wonder rhetorically.

"Oh wait, Honey did ask me what Tomuru liked," Rossi remembered.

"Well, what did you say?" Tamaki asked.

"Cake, chocolate buttons, sunsets, animals except ducks, Boris, uh I forget the rest," Rossi listed.

"Maybe he's taking her somewhere that they can see the sunset?" I thought aloud.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

We sat in the limo in comfortable silence. I almost began to nod off before…

"Do you like Kyo-Chan?" Honey blurted out.

"…Beg ya pardon?"

"Do. You. Like. Kyo-Chan," Honey emphasised.

"What do you mean by like?" I asked warily though I think I knew the answer.

"Like romance like," Honey answered.

"Oh cupcake not you too!" I moaned.

"Who else asked?"

"Dearest is pairing me with me and Shadow lord together," I explained.

"So do you like Kyo-Chan?" Honey persisted.

"No Honey I don't like Kyoya in a romancy schmancy way," I answered.

"Oh ok," Honey shrugged,

"…This isn't over is it?" I sighed.

"Nope!" Honey sang.

"What made you ask that now anyway?" I questioned.

"Because none of the others are listening," Honey replied.

"Ok so does anyone else think I like Shadow lord?" I asked curiously.

"Well Takashi agrees with me, Rossi doesn't see it, though."

"Well, at least, my brother sees sense."

_Pause_

"Alright, so what is it that makes you lot think that Shadow lord and I getting together is a good idea?" I continued.

"You two just suit each other. Plus Kyo-Chan is too serious, he needs someone silly to make him smile more," Honey explained his reasoning.

"Hello! He's gotta bunch of silly friends. I don't think to make one of the said friends his girlfriend will change anything," I pointed out.

"He's smiled more ever since you came along."

"Cus I'm funny!" I argued.

"We're here Tomo Chan," Honey dropped the subject, getting out the car.

I got out and followed behind him. We at a walking park, full of colourful flowerbeds and neat grass fields.

"This way!" Honey took my hand and dragged me into the park, walking on the brickwork pathway.

To be honest, I was enjoying people watching as I was dragged. Watching little kids screaming and running about the way only little kids can. But when I do it people think it's 'weird'. Frankly, it's none of their business whether I want to pretend to be a dragon or not. Anyway back to the matter at hand.

"Close your eyes, Tomo Chan," Honey instructed.

"Do I have to?"

"Please," Honey insisted, his eyes looking larger and more puppy-like.

"Fine," I closed my eyes and relied on Honey to make sure I didn't bump into anything.

"Ok sit down," Honey stated, to which I sat on what felt like a bench.

"Kay open the eyes," I opened my eyes as per Honey's instruction.

"Oh, my fluff!" I gasped, taking in the view.

The sunset shone onto a small lake, reflecting the colours towards the surrounding scenery. Making everything look pink, orange or yellow. The birds on the lake were shadowed, overall making the view look like a holiday brochure.

"This is amazing, I couldn't imagine a better end to a date," I commented, still in awe of the view.

"Rossi Chan told em you like sunsets. Can I sit on your lap?" Honey requested.

"Sure hop on." Honey sat on my lap leaning back on me, whilst I cuddled him.

Both of us sat in comfortable silence and stared at the sunset, a slight breeze continuously wafting my hair in my eyesight.

"I've gotta take Boris here one day," I muttered quietly.

I looked down and smiled as I found my date fast asleep on my lap.

"Aww bless," I cooed quietly, scooping up the sleepy third year into my arms.

"Right now where's the exit? I guess I should just follow the path and it will lead the way…hopefully," I muttered to myself.

I turned right and stayed on the path.

_Why'd they decide to use brick as a path material? Usually, it's concrete or something. Don't let your mind wander Okiro! I am not getting lost with a sleepy cupcake in my arms!_

At that moment, someone tapped me on my shoulder, which made me jump and almost wake up Honey.

"Jeez, I almost dropped Honey Senpai," I told the Hosts in a hushed tone.

"Sorry," Haruhi winced, who was the one who tapped my shoulder.

"I'll take him," Mori offered, to which I handed Honey over to him.

"Ahh," I sighed, stretching my arms.

Honey was surprisingly light but I was holding him for a while, which made my arms ache.

"So how was your date?" Rossi asked.

"You guys already know, you've been stalking us since the cat café," I responded.

"Yeah but what did you think of it Doggie?" Tweedledum asked.

"Twas fun, I really enjoyed myself," I answered honestly.

"So is there love blossoming?" the Tweeds teased.

"What? Rossi, didn't you tell them?" I moaned.

"I did!" Rossi defended himself.

"Honey's like a little big cousin to me. Just because you two are into incest doesn't mean everyone else is," I said firmly.

"You really do think of us as your family!" Tamaki spoke up in delight, hugging me.

"Course I do. I wouldn't call ya Dad otherwise," I responded matter of factly.

"I think I might follow Honey's lead and take a nap when I get home. Stalking a date is tiring," Rossi decided.

"Good idea," I agreed with him, letting out a yawn myself.

* * *

**Me: So that was Honey's and Tomuru's date.**

**Tomuru: Great now Honey's shipping Kyoya and I. Just frickin peachy!**

**Me: Tomuru everyone's shipping you two ya just gonna have to put up with it. Without further ado, it's time for...**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: That's right and today is going to be about Tomuru's favourite holiday.**

**Tomuru: Halloween! I get to dress up in whatever I want and can get a huge stash of sweets without judgement from the shop staff.**

**Me: Well that's it for today lovelies but before I end it I want to promote some OHSHC fanfics I've been reading lately that you should check out too if you haven't already.**

**I'm not as bad as what you've been told- Spark Plug X**

**You win some you lose some- eh corns**

**I like my fat self- HarleyHolmes**

**That's all I can think off the top of my head for now. Happy Easter Lovelies!**


	31. Episode 11 Part 1

**Me: I was going to be so productive this Easter holidays. Catch up on college work, update chapters more regularly...yeah. Instead, I binge watch Game of Thrones. Hello, lovelies by the way. Hope going back to education and work isn't too stressful. X**

**Tomuru: Can't believe you get to watch that now. I wanna see the dragons dammit!**

**Me: You'll have to wait another two years I'm afraid. But you can go see Avengers Age of Ultron though. That's out today!**

**Tomuru: Holy cheeseballs where's Dearest?**

**Haruhi: Hey**

**Tomuru: Dearest we're going to the cinemas now!**

**Haruhi: What? **

**Tomuru: Avengers Age of Ultron!**

**Haruhi:...I'll grab my coat**

**Me: While they're off doing that enjoy this chapter lovelies! And as always thanks for reviewing, favouriting and following**

* * *

"Soo police theme? Security guards? Just decided to wear random uniforms?" I tried to guess the theme of today's cosplay.

"You guessed correctly the first time," Kyoya confirmed.

"Since when do policemen dress like that?" I scoffed pointing at Tamaki.

"Never mind that go get changed," Hikaru remarked, pointing towards the changing rooms.

"Sweet," Rossi admired his dress, which was black with a police belt and badge.

"What?" I stared at my black and white striped dress with black leggings.

I took the outfit and went to confront the Tweeds.

"What have zebras gotta do with this theme?" I asked in confusion.

"No, you're supposed to be a criminal, genius," Hikaru corrected snarkily.

"Seriously? The stripes are kinda cliché don't ya think? Let me guess I have a black eye mask too," I scoffed.

"Yeah, it should be with your outfit," Kaoru replied.

I muttered quietly to myself as I walked back into the changing rooms and changed into my cosplay. I found the eye mask and tied it over my eyes, meaning I can only see what's directly in front of me. I slipped on a pair of black knee length boots that completed the cosplay and headed to the clubroom.

"Took ya long enough," Rossi spoke up as I entered.

"And not a minute too soon. I hear a guest approaching gentlemen," Tamaki stated.

We got into our welcoming poses just as the door opened. However instead of our usual gaggle of girls stood a pint-sized blond girl in a pink dress with large cute blue eyes.

"Oh my what an unusually small guest. Well, glad you're here my little, lost kitty cat," Tamaki greeted the girl kindly.

The girl entered the room and came closer to us without saying a word.

"Little kitty cat why have you come to see us today?" Tamaki tried talking to her again to see if she'd respond.

"It's a reverse harem! This is a reverse harem!" the little girl's childish voice spoke out, however, none of us expected the words that came from her.

"Beg ya pardon?" I blurted out in sheer surprise.

"That can't be right I must have heard wrong. Maybe there's still some water in my ear from when I went swimming." Tamaki denied what he heard, patting his hand on his ear to try and dislodge any water that may have resided in there.

"Ha ha ha ha water in the ear that's gotta be it," Hikaru agreed, twisting his fingers in his ear.

"I'm sure we just heard her wrong. There's no way this cute little girl said the words reverse harem something's going on with our ears," Kaoru insisted, mirroring his twin's actions.

"There's debauchery here," The little girl piped up, which again surprised us further.

"Yay there's debauchery here isn't there!" the child began to cheer gleefully before she then listed what 'characters' we were.

"You're the glasses character. You're the boy Lolita and the stoic type. Twincest! The bookworm, the weird kinky type and the tranny type," She listed referring to Shadow lord, Cupcake, Groot, the Tweeds, Haruhi, myself and Rossi.

_Kinky!_

When she turned to Tamaki her eyes began to well up.

"Big brother," She spoke softly before launching herself at Tamaki.

"My brother's blonde you must be him!" she insisted, as Tamaki caught and held her in confusion.

"You never told us about this!" Hikaru remarked.

"Since when do you have a little sister?" Kaoru demanded.

"Oh god she's not my aunt is she?" I paled at the thought. Which is difficult to do when you're black.

"I don't I'm definitely an only child, at least as far as I know," Tamaki defended.

"The more I look at you two looks an awful lot alike. You are both blond after all," Honey commented.

"I want to know if glasses character is superior to big brother," Kyoya wondered.

"Does it really matter? I can't believe she called me a bookworm," Haruhi grumbled.

"My lifestyle choice is not some sexy fetish," Rossi said irritably.

"I am NOT kinky. Weird yes, but kinky? No!" I protested.

"You sure about that Doggie?" Tweedledum teased.

"Yes!" I confirmed.

"I dunno you seemed really eager to wear that maid outfit a few episodes ago," Tweedledee joined in.

"To make myself as uncomfortable as possible for dearest to forgive me!" I argued.

"Or that you secretly loved it," the Tweeds persisted.

"I swear a thwack is coming your way if you don't shut up!" I warned.

"Plus you don't seem to mind being treated like an animal, Doggie," Hikaru continued, the two of them getting up close on either side of my face.

"Right that's it!" I snapped.

"You're gonna spank us?" the Tweeds purred promiscuously.

"Nope!" I jammed my index and middle fingers into their nostrils and dragged them onto their knees, via nostrils.

"A new technique Yuli taught me. If I twist my fingers a certain way it will break your noses. Now are ya gonna stop?" I stated firmly, to which they attempted to nod their heads with their eyes getting watery.

"Alright, that's enough torturing the twins Tomuru," Kyoya told me.

"Fine," I shrugged, unhooking my fingers from their nostrils.

"Eugh," I rubbed whatever contents I unearthed from the Tweed's noses onto some tissue.

"So how's the pervy little'n doing?" I asked Haruhi.

"Well her name's Kirimi but that's all we know. Apparently Tamaki has adopted her into his family," Haruhi answered.

"Kirimi huh?" I looked over to where Tamaki was spinning Kirimi in the air.

"What do you think we should do Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked Kyoya, as Shadow lord is the most logical of the Host club members.

"We should probably try to find out if she really does have an older brother at this school," Kyoya responded.

"You're under arrest for assaulting police officers!" the Tweeds suddenly declared, Hikaru cuffing one of my hands to his and Kaoru mirroring his actions.

So I have been handcuffed to not just one Tweed but to both of them!

"Oh for god's sake!" I moaned, wriggling my arms in frustration.

"That won't help you," Kaoru sang poking my cheek with his free hand.

"Payback's gonna be fun," Hikaru stated before the two of them cackled evilly.

"Permission to dramatically go down on my knees and shout 'NOOOOO'?" I requested.

"Hmm granted," The Tweeds allowed.

"Thanks NOOOOO!" I dramatically exclaimed, going down on my knees.

"Kay get back up," The Tweeds pulled me up by the handcuffs.

"Kirimi, Kiiirimi," A mysterious voice suddenly drifted into the clubroom.

The voice came from a black door, that I'm sure wasn't there before, where a blond boy stood with eyes just like Kirimi's.

"Hey who the hell are you?" the twins demanded.

"He looks like a foreigner," Honey commented.

"What's up with that? How come the door looks different all of the sudden?" Haruhi questioned.

"Oh, Kirimi," The stranger spoke up again.

_That voice sounds strangely familiar. Hang on is that…_

"Master," A deep voiced butler came forward, disrupting my thoughts.

"You forgot your cloak," A cat eyed maid finished.

The two of them spun the stranger around. And in superhero style the boy now wore a dark wig, cloak and cat puppet on one hand, my suspicions were confirmed as it was indeed…

"Nekasowa Senpai!" Haruhi, the twins and Tamaki exclaimed in surprise.

"Master Umaheito I terribly vulnerable to any form of bright light. For that reason if he does not shroud himself in black he will fall victim to the brightness of the outside world and undoubtedly collapse. And to be more comfortable he has to cover his beautiful blond hair with a dark wig," The maid explained, before twirling into the background.

"On the other hand his sister mistress Kirimi I frightened of dark, dimly lit places," The Butler added.

"So this little girl is Nekasowa Senpai's younger sister?" Haruhi questioned, as I blew one of the butterflies out of my face.

"You are quite insightful, yes that would be correct sir," The Butler answered, wiping away tears for some reason.

"Kirimi so this is where you've been hiding," Nekasowa approached Kirimi.

"Brother save me from the monster!" Kirimi squealed, jumping back into Tamaki's arms.

"Please don't be scared. I'd like to introduce you to someone this is Belsanaff. The Nekasowa family has been worshipping cats for generations," Nekasowa coaxed.

"You know I get the feeling she's not scared of the puppet. Call me crazy but I think it's you," Haruhi spoke up, with Kyoya nodding in agreement.

"It's probably your clothes we'll help you change kay?" the twins started pulling on Nekosawa's cloak with their free hands.

"No don't do that it's far too bright I may die!" Nekasowa protested, clinging to his cloak like his life depended on it.

"Pack it in will ya!" I scorned the pair of them, to which they stopped and puppeted my arms once more.

"I know why don't we just darken the room?" Honey suggested, although as he started to draw the curtains Kirimi began crying in fright.

"Either way, someone's unhappy," Kyoya commented.

"It's a tragedy that these two siblings are such polar opposites. As a result, they have come to be known as the Nekasowa family's Romeo and Juliet," The maid spoke up again.

"But Romeo and Juliet aren't brother and sister. I think the there situation was a little different," Haruhi pointed out.

"Yeah and Juliet actually wanted to be with Romeo," I added as the Tweeds waved my arms all over the place as entertainment for them.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that. To be honest, it was something I just came up with on the fly pretty impressive huh? I thought it might make the story more dramatic," The maid responded, holding up what looked like a small white banner.

"Oh, I see," Was all Haruhi could say in response?

"We were sent by the master's family to get our beloved mistress Kirimi back home safely," The butler explained.

"Is the rest of the family-" Hikaru started.

"-As out of touch as the three of you are?" Kaoru finished.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A TERRIBLE THING? THE NEKASOWAS ARE A DISTINGUISHED FAMILY. THEY ARE DESCENDANTS OF THE TOKARO DYNASTY OF RUSSIA!" the Maid screeched, shaking Nekasowa by the shoulders violently.

"Jeez calm down," I muttered.

"Tokaro huh?" Kyoya questioned.

"Wait you mean Romanoff right?" Tamaki queried.

"There's a legend that says once every few hundred years a Nekasowa child born. A child that is destined to be possessed by the darkness exactly like our master Umaheito. That legend may or may not be true," The Maid informed.

"What do you mean it may or may not be true?" Honey asked.

"Is it or isn't it?" the Tweeds questioned deadpanned.

"Mistress Kirimi fell in love with the handsome fairy tale prince of an older brother she had seen in portraits. However as a result of his condition the master is unable to go near his sister without being shrouded in black. Once she had learned that her older brother is enrolled in a high school here she decided to go looking for him. That's what brought her to your Host club. We've tried to keep her comforted by reading her bedtime stories about princely characters like her brother, but we recently ran out of stories. So recently we decided to start reading her Shoujo manga that has princely characters in them. And I'm afraid she's become completely addicted," The Maid supplied.

"Shoujo manga?" I questioned.

"I see so that's where it came from," The twins realised, referring to Kirimi's earlier comments.

"Is there really debauchery in Shoujo manga? But Sashimi Chan is so young," Haruhi said.

"Not Sashimi," Kaoru pointed out.

"She's not a type of sushi Dearest," I added.

"It's Kirimi," Nekasowa corrected.

"So Kirimi Chan doesn't know that you're her real older brother Nekasowa Senpai?" Haruhi summed up, making Nekasowa crumple into his dark aura.

"Yes we tried talking to her but she refuses to believe us," The maid answered for him.

"Aww, that's so sad no wonder Neko-Chan is so upset," Honey stated in concern, wiping his eyes with his anime flowers showering around him.

"It's painful, that's why every night I offer hopes and prayers that one day Kirimi will come to embrace the darkness," Nekasowa spoke up, as he regained his composure.

"Uh, I think you've got it backwards buddy," The twins remarked.

"You should get accustomed to the light," Hikaru advised.

"What are you trying to do to your sister?" Kaoru asked.

"Come along Mistress Kirimi," The butler started.

"It's time to go home," The maid finished.

"WAAAH NO I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU! I DON'T WANNA GO WITH YOU I WANNA STAY WITH MY BIG BROTHER!" Kirimi squealed.

"Nekasowa Senpai?" Tamaki spoke in concern at Nekasowa's reaction.

"Don't worry about me Suoh. All I want is for my sister to be happy. Make sure she gets the love she deserves," Nekasowa ran out of the clubroom in sorrow.

"But wait a minute Senpai," Tamaki called out to him, but it was futile as he already left the clubroom.

"Sibling relations are a problem in any family," Kyoya commented.

"Even so I'm kinda jealous. I grew up an only child so I can't really relate. But I can't imagine how tough it must be to have a sibling so different from you that you can't even be in the same room as them," Haruhi shared her thoughts.

"Must be tough," I agreed, thinking how lucky I was to have good relationships with my siblings.

Tamaki placed Kirimi back on the floor.

"Is something wrong? Tell me big brother," Kirimi asked.

"I'm sorry Kirimi Chan, but I'm not the big brother that you've been looking for. Don't worry he's still out there. Believe it or not, you have a big brother that's even more handsome than I am. And I promise you he's a real prince," Tamaki responded assuredly, making Kirimi's face light up.

"But Senpai," Haruhi interjected though was ignored by Tamaki.

"Once she stepped foot into this room Kirimi Chan became a guest of the Host club. And it's our job to make sure all of our guests are happy. It's an absolute tragedy to see a brother and sister at odds this way. We must be something we can do to help them. Operation change Nekasowa Senpai into the princely character of Kirimi Chan's dreams is under way," Tamaki did one of his dramatic speeches again, with white backlighting and his white roses floating about around him.

"Are you serious?" the twins asked.

"But sir," The butler spoke up, uncertain of Tamaki's scheme.

"You want to change Umaheito from a prince of darkness to a prince of light? I don't know if that's even possible," The maid spoke seriously, also unconvinced.

"Senpai! Quit getting so carried away by your emotions. Don't make promises you can't keep," Haruhi scorned.

"Oh, yee of little faith. Have you forgotten that we have an expert on our side? Someone who knows the importance of changing character," Tamaki responded, unfazed by the response of his speech.

"You don't think,"Hikaru started.

"He's talking about," Kaoru finished his sentence.

At that moment the laugh that sends shivers through my body and makes me immediately tense up echoed through the clubroom. Renge rose on her pretentious twirling platform.

"Yep sure enough," The twins sighed, answering their own query.

_No! No, no, no, no, no! I don't feel like a Bernard maul today._

I tried to drag the twins away from Renge with me, however, they stayed rooted to the spot.

"Ah, ah, ah you're not getting away," The twins denied, easily pulling me towards Renge by the handcuffs.

"Oh just get it over with then!" I gave up as Bernard advanced on me, with the Tweeds securing my arms.

* * *

**Me: Since Tomuru's off to the cinema I'm doing Tomuru's Tidbits on my lonesome. Today will be about Tomuru's hobbies, which is mainly learning self-defense on Saturdays from her older sister at the Leisure centre. She also rides her unicycle from time to time (yes she has a unicycle and somehow can ride it well without crashing into things). **

**I'm really running low on ideas on what to do for Tomuru's Tidbits so if you lovelies have any suggestions or want to know anything about Tomuru please don't hesitate to ask. I would love you forever!**

**Anywho thanks for reading lovelies and seeya next time X**


	32. Episode 11 Part 2

**Me: Time flies when you have a crap tonne of work to do. I can't even remember the last time I updated so sorry as always lovelies.**

**Tomuru: What took you so long? I wanna tell you about Age of Ultron!**

**Me: No don't you frickin dare, I still haven't seen it.**

**Tomuru: What d'ya mean you haven't seen it? It's soooo good Hawkeye has a-**

**Me: No, No spoilers and as I just said I've been too busy. On with the chapter quick before she blurts out a spoiler.**

* * *

Three days have passed of Nekasowa's lessons in becoming a princely big brother. I managed to observe the lessons with the others in a darkened classroom since Renge's wrath was aimed at Nekasowa. Meaning no Bernard attacks for three whole days! Well in the Host club that is. The last time I faced my beaked nemesis I used the Tweeds as a shield, with many protests from them, so they took most of the bites. Hey, they deserved it they kept trying to make me caress Shadow lord's face, don't ask why. Luckily I only had to be handcuffed to them for that day. Anyway back to the lessons…

"You're golden locks glow in the candle light. Your skin like ivory. Your smile as mysterious as a flower illuminating by the moonlight beauty. It's as if…**you're a cursed washed doll shrouded in darkness and riddled with malevolence!**" Nekasowa tried to read Renge's script correctly in the princely style, however, breaking character towards the end.

_Whip, whip_

"NO WAY YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG! NUMBSKULL! WHO TOLD YOU TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO USE ANY OCCULT TERMS!" Renge shrieked at Nekasowa, whipping him to the ground. Her medusa form in full effect.

"I'm really sorry but my vocabulary is a bit limited without those words," Nekasowa responded meekly.

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK BACK TO ME EITHER GOT IT? A PRINCELY CHARACTER WOULD NEVER TRY TO COME UP WITH A SISSY EXCUSE LIKE THAT!" Renge screeched, whipping the poor lad so much it looked like torture.

"Remember it's ok to have a dark side some girls like that. Cute broody male character always goes over well with young girls. However mentioning anything relating to the occult is out of the question. Mori Senpai go ahead and add that on the board," Renge taught her bossy finger pointing to whoever she spoke to.

"Wax doll," Mori spoke as he wrote on the blackboard.

"Looks like Renge's really on top of things," Kyoya commented, leaning against the desk Honey sat at.

"Yeah, she's on a roll," Honey added.

"Yeah but I'm sure the lines she's feeding him are appropriate to use on his sister," Hikaru remarked.

"You're one to talk!" I scoffed, shuddering as an image of the brotherly love act popped into my head. I sat in between the Tweeds, leaning on Kaoru's shoulder.

"You just gonna sit there and watch boss?" Kaoru asked Tamaki, leaning on another desk next to where we sat.

"Of course, I don't want to end up with a curse on me," Tamaki replied.

"Hey, how come you're leaning on Kaoru and not me?" Hikaru whined.

"Cus I prefer leaning on my right side more than my left. Plus Kaoru's quieter," I answered.

"So you're not favouring one twin over the other?" Hikaru asked.

"Of course not favouring one Tweed over the other," I replied, shaking my head.

"Ok, it seems that you have memorised most of your new character lines. I think it's about time we moved on. Are you ready Senpai?" Renge asked cheerfully.

"Oh please no it's too soon I can't handle it yet!" Nekasowa begged in a panic, still knelt on the floor.

"EVIL FIEND!" Renge exclaimed as she shone a flashlight at Nekasowa, causing him to cry out and hide his face in pain.

"DON'T LET A SIMPLE FLASHLIGHT GET THE BEST OF YOU! WORK UP YOUR NERVE! IT'S NOT PHYSICALLY AFFECTING YOU SO IT MUST BE PSYCHOLOGICAL! EVEN EDGAR WAS ABLE TO FACE THE CROSS ONCE HE BUILT UP HIS COURAGE!" Renge exclaimed in I assume her version of 'tough love'.

"But I thought you rejected the occult?" Nekasowa questioned once the flashlight was turned off.

"Occult fiction is good occult fashion is not," Renge responded matter of factly.

"Oh is that so?" Tamaki spoke up.

"Don't judge him," Hikaru derided.

"You're the one who's always wearing weird cosplay," Kaoru pointed out.

"Who are you talking about? Renge or Tamaki?"

"Both," They replied.

"You've got to put your heart into the delivery of these lines. You have to have to imagine that you're talking to Kirimi Chan," Renge commanded seriously, getting close to his personal space.

"Well that's easy for you to say, but that doesn't look anything like her," Nekasowa pointed out, referring to Tamaki's teddy bear dressed as Kirimi.

"WOULD YOU QUIT COMPLAINING? Look at her through the eyes of your heart, the eyes of your heart!" Renge yelled, then spoke sweetly holding the bear before going back to the harsh tone and shoving the bear in Nekasowa's face.

"That's right. just remember why you're doing this. It's all for Kirimi Chan's sake. Just give it a shot it will look like her if you used your imagination," Tamaki insisted.

Then the Tweeds looked at one another, with that scheming look in their eyes before they ran off. They returned with a manikin with a wig that looked like Haruhi's hair and that two piece swimsuit they tried to stuff her in, in the beach episode.

"Here you go, boss," The Tweeds called to him.

"We've got this one ready just for you," Hikaru started.

"We think you should go ahead and confess your love to this Haruhi doll," Kaoru finished, the two of them gesturing to the manikin. I stood beside them and watched Tamaki's reaction, which I knew was going to be priceless.

"Wait this doll is…Haruhi?" Tamaki questioned unsurely.

"You should teach him by example," The Tweeds advised.

Then he closed his eyes and went off into his Tamaki la la land, where I don't even want to know what goes on. Still in his Tamaki world, he swans dipped the manikin, to which I had to suffocate myself on Tweedledum's shoulder to stop from laughing.

"Excuse me?" Haruhi stated from the doorway.

"Uh, Haruhi you-you're the real one! But when did you get here?" Tamaki stuttered, flinging the manikin to one side in a panic.

"Kirimi Chan came to the club room again today looking for you. If you've got time to do disgusting things like this. Surely you can spare some time to hang out with her for a while," Haruhi spoke, with an accusing tone.

"What? Disgusting!" Tamaki wept, going into his corner of shame that was unusually lit by a spotlight.

The Tweeds immediately burst into raucous laughter as I let myself giggle along with them, before turning my attention to Dearest.

"Why don't you keep her company Haruhi? What's wrong don't like children?" Kyoya suggested.

"Well no it's not that I don't like them or anything. It's just that she's made me read about 50 volumes of Shoujo Manga over the past three days. And to my surprise, those things are really filled with debauchery and reverse harems," Haruhi explained as Tamaki shuffled closer.

"50 volumes? That's a lot of smut," I blurted out.

"Yeah I know," Haruhi sighed.

"Big brother?" Kirimi looked around the doorway, "This room is dark and scary," Kirimi whimpered before crying in the doorway.

"Aww Kirimi Chan, I asked you to wait for me in the other room," Haruhi comforted, crouching to her level and stroking her head.

"What's wrong little one?" Tamaki came forward to comfort Kirimi. "There, there calm down. You see there's nothing to be afraid of," Tamaki assured her, as he lifted her up.

Kirimi cheered up as Tamaki spun her around playfully in the lit hallway.

"Here we go!" Tamaki stated cheerfully as he spun her around.

I looked towards Nekasowa Senpai to see how he was coping when I saw him grab the flashlight.

"Hey, Nekasowa what are ya doing?" I spoke to him cautiously, the others now turning their attention to him.

"I'm a handsome, princely big brother. I'm a handsome, princely big brother. I'm a handsome, princely big brother. I'm a handsome, princely big brother. I'm a handsome, princely big brother. AND I'M NOT AFRAID OF THIS FLASHLIGHT! SELF EVIL FIEND!" he chanted to himself before flicking the switch, shining a bright light on his face.

"He did it!" Honey cheered, with Mori Senpai clapping Nekasowa's efforts.

"Nekasowa Senpai has come a long way. He is now able to shine a light on his own face," Renge praised.

"Bravo Senpai bravo," The Tweeds cheered sarcastically, popping a party popper each.

"Hey, there's no need for that tone of voice, I'm quite proud of Nekasowa," I stood up for Nekasowa to the Tweeds.

"Good job I'm impressed," Haruhi praised, clapping his efforts.

"You did it! Your little sister is going to be so thrilled," Tamaki said happily.

"Look there Kirimi Chan that gentleman is your real big brother," Tamaki pointed Kirimi to Nekasowa, to which Kirimi looked hopefully.

"Tamaki, keep ya daydreams in your head," I told Tamaki, from seeing a daydream bubble appear above his head.

"You're just complicating things. Could you please cut that out it's not gonna help ya know," Haruhi grumbled in exasperation.

"Huh did you just say something?" Tamaki asked Haruhi, returning back to reality.

"Never mind," Haruhi sighed.

"Kirimi," Nekasowa spoke as he turned to face his little sister.

However as soon as he did Kirimi turned white and froze from sheer fright. Then she cried loudly and ran out of the room in fear.

"Kirimi wait!" Nekasowa called after her, dropping the flashlight.

"So I guess flashing the flashlight on his face," Hikaru started.

"Scared her and sent her running," Kaoru finished.

"Oh, Kirimi," Nekasowa whimpered before lying on the floor and sobbing.

"I feel so bad for him," I whispered to Rossi, who nodded his head in agreement.

"Nekasowa Senpai?" Tamaki spoke to him quietly.

"I've had enough. Even if I continue your special training there's no guarantee that Kirimi will ever accept me. I think she'd be better off if you acted as her brother in her stead Suoh," Nekasowa spoke in defeat, kneeling and looking down in the loss.

"But that's ridiculous you're the big brother she's looking for," Tamaki started, which made Nekasowa look up at him.

"If you care about her you'll do whatever it takes to win her over," Tamaki asserted determinedly.

I walked over to where the Tweeds stood as they were opening the blinds.

"Hey look, Kirimi Chan hasn't made it out of the courtyard," Hikaru noticed.

"But there's something down there with her," Kaoru added.

"It's just a fat cat," I shrugged.

"Man your family sure does loves cats," Hikaru commented.

"Even strays warm up to you guys," Kaoru commented.

_Why is the daunting dramatic music playing? The kind where something bad gonna happen?_

"What did you say? They are revered by my family it's true. But Kirimi wouldn't participate in something like that. Something so occult as befriending a stray cat," Nekasowa explained, staring out the window in alarm.

"Kirimi is afraid of animals, and cats are the creatures she fears the most," Nekasowa supplied.

At that moment Nekasowa broke through the window calling for Kirimi instinctively, shielding his face from glass shards.

"Nekasowa Senpai!" Tamaki called out in alarm.

"But he's not wearing his black cloak," Haruhi pointed out worriedly.

"I'm glad that this classroom is on the lower levels of the school," I commented, concerned for both of the Nekasowa siblings.

_Who jumps out of a freaking window! Well if I was in that situation I'd probably do the same thing._

"KIRIMI! KIRIMI!" Nekasowa ran towards Kirimi, reaching out for her.

"BIG BROTHER!" Kirimi exclaimed in delight, jumping into his arms.

"Aww," I gushed at the hugging siblings.

"Would ya look at that," Honey commented, smiling along with the others.

"This is all thanks to my special training," Renge took credit.

I couldn't hear what Neksowa was saying but from his actions I guessed that he was introducing Kirimi to Belsanaff. Though he fell a few seconds later from the sudden amount of light.

"Ah, we should probably help him," I commented, grabbing his cloak and hopping out the broken window carefully.

Then I ran towards Kirimi staring at her big brother and covered Nekasowa in his cloak.

"Here ya go, buddy," I stated, supporting him as he stood up shakily.

"Thanks," He thanked shakily.

The other Hosts joined us and helped me get Nekasowa safely indoors. Whilst he rested I decided to have a little chat with Kirimi.

"Kirimi Chan are you ok?" I asked in concern.

"Uh huh now that I've found my big brother," She chirped, smiling innocently.

"Good, wanna sit on my lap?" I offered, patting my lap.

"Kay," She agreed, climbing onto my lap and looking up at me with those big blue eyes.

"You're very lucky to have a brother like him you know why? Cus he faced his fear to save you, which takes a lot of courage. Like you fear the dark and mean kitties your big brother fears the light. That's why he has to shield himself with a dark cloak and wig. But he will always love you more than anything else in the world. Do you get what I'm trying, to say cutie pie?" I explained to Kirimi patiently, to which she listened intently.

Before she responded she scrunched her nose in concentration.

"Yep!" Kirimi replied, nodding her head.

"You're so cute," I gushed, giving her a hug, to which she giggled.

"Mistress it's time to go home now," The cat eyed maid said.

"Aww," Kirimi pouted.

"C'mon cutie pie your parents must be worried about you. You can't keep them waiting can you?" I convinced.

"No," Kirimi sighed, jumping from my lap and taking the maid's hand.

"Bye, bye reverse harem people!" Kirimi waved before she tottered out beside the maid and the butler.

"Am I right in presuming that you've done one of those talks before?" Kyoya guessed.

"Plenty of times, especially when Rossi didn't understand that he was a transvestite," I responded, looking over to where Rossi chatted with Cupcake.

* * *

**Me: Hope you've enjoyed that lovelies, I can't wait to update part three another random episode for ya.**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Do you have to yell it every time?**

**Tomuru: Yesh**

**Me: Right anyway this Tomuru Tidbit comes from Liz (Guest) who asked what Tomuru's favourite colour.**

**Tomuru: In the first episode part 3 I did say that I didn't have a particular favourite colour. But, now I kinda like the colour green. **

**Me: Any particular reason why?**

**Tomuru: Nah it's just pretty and natural and stuff.**

**Me: and stuff...alright until next lovelies X**


	33. Episode 11 Part 3

**Me: Hello Lovelies! Since I already wrote this episode I decided to update it early since I'm gonna be busy for the next week or so. Though I do have a half term coming up in two weeks so I'll try and update then.**

**I really enjoyed writing this episode, plus I added a bit of a Kyomuru moment in this random episode. Enjoy!**

* * *

Random Episode!

The Day Tomuru was normal

**Tuesday afternoon at Higashi High**

Tomuru was currently playing basketball in gym class. However, she was stuck in her own little world, who somehow got High School Musical songs stuck in her head despite only watching it once when she was eight. Maybe it was cus she was playing basketball I dunno, don't ask me what goes on in the inner workings of Tomuru Okiro.

"Okiro!" one of her classmates Torao called, throwing the ball to her.

But since she had her head in the clouds she had no idea what he said so didn't catch the ball in time, the basketball in question bounced off her head instead.

Making Tomuru crumple down and lose consciousness for a few minutes.

_Huh, guess my head wasn't in the game._ Was the last thing she thought before slipping into unconsciousness.

Once she woke up again she the faces of a few of her classmates leaning over her nosily and the gym teacher knelt beside her, checking her pulse.

"You passed out there for a sec Okiro. Are you feeling alright? Can you move?" the gym teacher asked.

"I'm a little dizzy but other than that I'm fine to thank you sensei," Tomuru responded standing herself up.

"Right sit on the sidelines and rest for the rest of the lesson. The rest of you get into position, this will be our last game for today," The gym teacher instructed.

Tomuru calmly walked towards the bench and sat herself down.

"You're supposed to catch the ball with your hands, not your face Tomo kun," Torao joked.

"I will remember that for next time. Thank you for the advice," Tomuru responded, with no sarcasm intended which was strange for her.

"No problem?" Torao replied unsurely before returning to the basketball game.

**At the end of the lesson…**

"Are you sure you're alright?" Torao asked as they walked to the changing rooms.

"I'm perfectly fine to thank you. Are you alright?" Tomuru responded.

"Uh, I'm fine," Torao answered hesitantly before they separated into their gendered changing rooms.

**After school…**

"Seeya tomorrow Tomo kun," Torao said, still bewildered by Tomuru's behaviour.

"Goodbye, Shinsato san," Tomuru replied, which again was odd because she usually calls Torao Tigger (Torao translates to Tiger man to add some context).

"Right?" Torao drawled before getting on his bike and riding away.

Tomuru walked over to the Middle school, as usual, to meet up with Rossi.

"Hey, Tomo," Rossi greeted cheerfully, hugging her as usual.

Yet unusually she kept her arms to the sides, not reciprocating the hug.

"Uh, you ok?" Rossi asked as they started walking, noticing something was different.

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you. Are you alright little brother?" was Tomuru's response.

"Other than getting a little weirded out by you yeah," Rossi replied warily.

"Good, I'm glad."

"…What the fudge?" Rossi muttered under his breath.

At the Host club business was usual, unaware of what's to come.

"Hey, guys Tomo's weirding me out," Rossi greeted, Tomuru following behind him.

"Tomo why are you weirding Rossi out?" Haruhi asked, coming up to you.

"Good day Haruhi, how are you?" was the response given.

"I'm ok I guess, are you ok Sugar?" Haruhi asked in concern.

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you, and please refer to me as Tomuru since that's my name," Tomuru insisted.

"That's what she told me when I asked if she was ok, perfectly fine," Rossi realised.

"You're right she is acting weird," Haruhi agreed with Rossi.

"Haruhi you have three guests to tend to. Tomuru can you hand out the cakes on the cake cart?" Kyoya instructed.

"Alright," Haruhi looked back at Tomuru worriedly before walking towards her guests.

"Of course, Ootori Senpai," Tomuru obliged, walking towards the cake cart.

The response given made Kyoya freeze in his tracks and turn to look at Tomuru, before walking to question the errand girl.

"What did you just call me?" Kyoya questioned.

"I called you Ootori Senpai, as that is your name," Tomuru answered.

"Just making sure I heard right," Kyoya said, to which she nodded once and resumed pushing the cake cart.

"Haruhi what's the matter with Tomuru?" Kyoya queried Haruhi as she entertained her guests.

"I have no idea, she's definitely not herself," Haruhi answered, glancing at Tomuru in concern.

"Oh, dear is Tomuru not feeling well?" Azumi asked worriedly.

"Don't worry she's not sick she's just acting a bit out of character," Haruhi assured her.

At that moment, Tomuru was at Honey and Mori's table handing out cakes.

"Hey, Tomo Chan do you wanna have some cake with me?" Honey offered.

"No thank you Honinosuka Senpai I have to finish my errand girl duties. Besides too much sugar is bad for my teeth and I'd much rather avoid dental issues," Tomuru responded matter of factly.

"See I told you she's not herself. She's now refusing cake," Rossi commented.

"Oookkkaayy?" Honey drawled in puzzlement, before turning to eat his cake. Mori furrowed his eyebrows observing Tomuru in perplexity.

Tomuru gave a nod of satisfaction before carting the tray to the two sofas where the Hitachiins were stationed with their guests.

"Hey, Doggie," The twins greeted cheerfully, none the wiser of the confusion to come.

"I'm not of canine origin Hitachiin sans. It would be very unsanitary to allow a dog to serve food. Would you like anything from the cake cart?" Tomuru stated sensibly, making the twin's freeze with shock.

"Uuh?" the twins turned to each other in confusion before looking back at the errand girl.

"Who are you and what have you done with Tomuru?" Hikaru demanded, trying to convey a playful tone to hide his unease.

"I don't understand your claim Kaoru-san?" Tomuru cocked her head to one side in confusion.

"I'm Hikaru, you know this!" Hikaru exclaimed,

"Forgive me but I'm afraid I cannot tell which twin is which."

"Right that's it! Excuse us, ladies," Hikaru grabbed one of Tomuru's arms whilst Kaoru mirrored his actions and dragged her towards Kyoya.

"Explain what's going on Kyoya Senpai," The pair demanded simultaneously.

"I'm afraid I don't know what's wrong with her," Kyoya replied honestly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Hikaru started.

"You know everything," Kaoru finished.

"Excuse me can you please unhand me I have to complete my errand girl duties," Tomuru spoke up.

"Actually, I would like to have a word with you if you don't mind. Haruhi can continue your duties for a bit after she's entertained her guests. Hikaru, Kaoru your guests are growing impatient," Kyoya said.

"Very well Ootori Senpai," Tomuru accepted, taking a seat beside him on the sofa he sat at.

"Fine just find out what's up with her," Hikaru grumbled before the two of them returned to their guests.

"What's the matter with Tomuru?" one of their guests asked in concern.

"Eh, she's fine," Hikaru assured casually.

"She's probably just pranking us," Kaoru justified though they tried to assure themselves as they spoke.

After a few minutes, Renge's platform rose, revealing Renge and Bernard.

"Oh, nemesis time for your daily dose of Bernard!" Renge sang as Bernard launched himself in Tomuru's direction.

"This should be interesting," Kyoya muttered.

"It's not very hygienic to have a wild duck in the clubroom," Tomuru stated rationally.

Just as Bernard was about to attack Tomuru calmly stood up and lifted him up. Cradling him under one arm so he couldn't flap his wings.

Bernard quietened and looked up at her in confusion.

"Quack?" Bernard quacked as if he was thinking:

_Hang on? This isn't supposed to happen?_

"It's best to keep your pet at home in a natural habitat," Tomuru recommended, placing Bernard back on the platform.

Everyone just stared in astonishment at what just happened.

"Bernard is your enemy you empty headed peasant!" Renge snapped.

"I don't have any enemies, especially any which are of a different species. A duck enemy? What a preposterous idea," Tomuru replied soundly, shaking her head in amusement as she returned to her seat.

"What just happened?" Renge demanded an explanation.

"She's not herself today Renge," Haruhi supplied.

"I can see that! Forget it I'll torture her tomorrow," Renge responded, her platform sinking down again.

"My daughter's so brave for facing her enemy like that!" Tamaki praised, as usual, the last one to catch on, hugging Tomuru.

"Please do not touch me without my consent it's very rude. Also, I am not your daughter you're too young to be my father. In fact, I don't think we are related at all given the fact that my skin colour is brown and yours is not," Tomuru pointed out firmly.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER?" Tamaki exclaimed, backing away from her in horror.

Tamaki turned white and crumbled onto the floor.

When the guests left the Hosts turned their attention to Tomuru, still remained seated on the sofa until told otherwise. All except Tamaki who sat in his corner of shame, still disheartened by Tomuru's comment earlier.

"So what are we gonna do about her?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah, we need to get Doggie back," Kaoru stated.

"Was she like this yesterday?" Kyoya asked Haruhi and Rossi.

"No, she was her normal bouncy self," Rossi answered.

"Maybe something happened at school," Haruhi thought aloud, moving to sit beside Tomuru.

"Tomuru?" Haruhi started cautiously.

"Yes Haruhi, what can I do for you?"

"What lessons did you have at school today?" Haruhi conversed.

"Let's see I had maths, history, then it was break time, English language, then it was lunch, literacy and gym. Why do you ask?" Tomuru answered.

"She's just making conversation now did anything happen during the day? An injury or fall perhaps?" Kyoya joined in with the questioning.

"No not, that I can recall," Tomuru replied after she thought for a minute.

"Then why the hell are you acting like this?" Hikaru blurted out indignantly.

"Acting like what? This is how I normally act," Tomuru replied, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"This isn't how you normally act Tomuru. You're usually not this serious or…" Haruhi differed patiently, though couldn't think of the word.

"Normal," Rossi finished.

"Yeah, that's the word," Haruhi agreed.

"We want our old Tomo Chan back," Honey spoke up.

"Yeah," Mori agreed.

"Oh well I'm terribly sorry but I've always been like this. Perhaps you're thinking of someone who looks like me?" Tomuru suggested.

"Uuh!" Many of the Hosts moaned.

"Snap out of it Sugar!" Haruhi snapped, losing her patience.

"I told you to call me by my name Haruhi," Tomuru reminded, earning a thwack on the arm from Haruhi.

"Now there's no need for violence," Tomuru tutted.

"Maybe we need to give her a shock?" Rossi suggested.

"We must get my darling daughter back! It's obvious that she is possessed by an evil spirit. Quick someone get Nekasowa Senpai!"

"Ah, so you've finally got over what Tomuru said," Rossi spoke to Tamaki.

"Senpai she's not possessed," Haruhi sighed in exasperation.

"You sure about that?" the twins eyed up Tomuru warily.

"Evil spirit I command thee to release this innocent form your malevolent clutches!" Tamaki commanded dramatically, holding Tomuru's face in his hands.

"Suoh Senpai I've already told you once don't touch me without my consent," Tomuru stated, taking his hands from her person.

"Clearly this spirit is strong. We need to perform an exorcism," Tamaki spoke determinedly.

"Yeah!" the twins agreed eagerly.

"You are not performing an exorcism on my best friend!" Haruhi objected.

"Well, of course, I'm not Nekasowa Senpai will; he's the expert in black magic."

"No one is performing an exorcism!" Rossi objected bluntly.

"I think we should try giving her a shock like Rossi suggested earlier," Haruhi commented.

"Huddle round gentlemen," Tamaki instructed.

"Tomuru go clean up after the guests," Kyoya instructed Tomuru so he wouldn't question what they were doing.

"Very well," Tomuru stated, getting up from the sofa.

"Right any ideas?" Haruhi asked.

"Well I would've suggested Bernard but we know that wouldn't work now," Rossi came up with.

"We could make a loud noise?" Kaoru suggested.

"We could use her greatest fear," Hikaru devised.

"Hang on you don't mean-" Haruhi started to say before she got interrupted.

"Kyoya get-" Tamaki, the interrupter in question began to demand.

"Already on it," Kyoya interjected, dialling a number on his phone.

**Half an hour later…**

"Guys, don't ya think this is a bit excessive?" Haruhi questioned, looking into the now balloon filled prep room.

"It's what needs to be done," Tamaki insisted.

"This better work," Rossi muttered.

"Kyoya go get my darling daughter," Tamaki instructed, to which Kyoya walked towards the kitchen where Tomuru was washing the dishes.

"Hikaru, Kaoru get into position," Tamaki ordered.

"You got it, boss," The twins saluted and went into the balloon filled room, each carrying a long needle each.

"Quick she's heading this way," Rossi warned, to which everyone else sat in the clubroom trying to act casual.

When Tomuru walked passed she nodded once to then before entering the prep room. Once she went inside everyone dashed to the door and peeked inside. Tomuru stood looking indifferently at the multi-coloured balloons, with a hint of confusion.

On cue, the twins got to work popping the balloons left to right and centre. The reaction given by Tomuru was blinking and flinching lightly. The final two balloons were popped in front of her face, which only made her flinch slightly again. She looked calmly at the worn out, panting twins before walking passed them towards the storage closet to grab a brush to sweep up the mess. Hikaru and Kaoru collapsed on the floor in defeat.

"It didn't work," Haruhi groaned, leaning in the doorway with her head in her hands.

As Tomuru swept up the balloon remnants the others gathered around to think of another plan.

"…Maybe she got hit in the head?" Rossi suggested.

"But she said she didn't," Haruhi pointed out.

"Yeah but she might have forgotten," Rossi claimed.

"So she needs to get hit again to return to her weird self," Kaoru mused.

"I'll get the baseball bat," Hikaru offered, quickly jumping up.

"You're not hitting Tomuru with a bat!" Haruhi objected.

"You won't let us perform an exorcism on her. You won't let us hit her with a baseball bat. You don't let us do anything with her," Hikaru complained.

"Maybe this is how Tomo Chan is supposed to act but had an accident that made her the Tomuru we know and love?" Honey thought aloud.

"God I hope not," Rossi responded.

"We could just trip her?" Hikaru suggested.

"…Fine, we'll try it," Haruhi gave in.

"We'll get the rope," The twin's stated dashing off.

Once the rope was set up the twin's waited for Tomuru, hiding behind random flower pots. Tomuru was moving a flower vase from one of the tables to get fresh water for the roses inside.

"Uh, guys maybe you should wait till…" Haruhi started to warn, however…

"Now!"

_CRASH_

Tomuru tripped up and the vase flew out of her hands, crashing into tiny pieces.

"…her hands are free," Haruhi finished, a sweat drop formed on her head.

"Oh dear, I made such a mess. Don't worry I'll clean it up," Tomuru said calmly, brushing herself off before walking away.

"It didn't work," The twins and Tamaki fell into their dark auras.

"Look let's just see how she is tomorrow. Maybe she will sleep it off," Haruhi sighed.

"There's blood on the floor," Kyoya commented, turning the other Hosts attention to the glass and water on the floor.

At that moment Tomuru came in with a small cut on her cheek, holding a dustpan and brush.

"Haruhi, can you clean up the mess whilst I tend to Tomuru's cut?" Kyoya spoke.

"Here I'll take that Sug- Tomuru," Haruhi took the dustpan and brush from Tomuru.

"Well if you insist, thank you Haruhi," Tomuru replied in slight confusion.

"Tomuru, come with me to sort out your cut," Kyoya spoke to her, gesturing her to follow him.

"Oh, the one on my hand you mean."

"Yes and the one on your cheek too."

In the kitchen, Kyoya took out the first aid kit and gestured her to sit. To which Tomuru climbed onto the sideboard since there were no chairs. Kyoya carefully wiped Tomuru's hand with an antiseptic wipe and wrapped the wounded area with a bandage.

"Luckily there's no glass embedded in your cuts otherwise, you would've had to go to the hospital," Kyoya conversed as he concentrated on tying the bandage to secure it.

"There's no such thing as luck Ootori Senpai," Tomuru replied logically.

"Of course."

Kyoya started wiping the cut on her cheek. The usual reaction would be wincing and complaining but Tomuru didn't even flinch. She just continued to look ahead calmly.

"Your eyes have changed too," Kyoya noted, just now realising the change.

"Ootori Senpai I have always had blue eyes," Tomuru sighed, getting tired of this game the others were playing.

"No I mean your eyes are usually brighter and have a certain spark to them which shows your immaturity and fun demeanour. However they appear duller somehow, meaning no offense of course," Kyoya explained.

"Oh, I see," Tomuru left it at that as Kyoya stuck a plaster over the cut.

"So how do I act usually then?" Tomuru questioned curiously.

"Well certainly not like this," Kyoya chuckled, "The Tomuru I know is strange, cheerful, slightly irritating and admittedly comical. She has quite an imagination on her too," Kyoya went on, smiling slightly.

"Am I right in assuming that everyone prefers me like how you described then how I am now?" Tomuru sussed.

"Well you, are less annoying, calmer and can get your errands done more efficiently. Plus your voice has decreased in volume considerably," Kyoya listed.

"But?" Tomuru urged.

"…But Tomuru is my friend and I wouldn't want that weird moron to change for anything. Besides, it's not like anyone else has the nerve to put me in my place or call me a pervert," Kyoya admitted.

For the first time, serious Tomuru smiled.

"Well then I'll try to return to normal, or weird I suppose I should say. Let's return to the others," Tomuru responded, hopping off the counter and walking towards the clubroom.

Kyoya remained where he stood watching her walk into the clubroom.

"Yes let's," he spoke softly to himself, before following her lead.

"Hey, are you ok?" Haruhi asked Tomuru in concern, putting a wet floor sign where the fall occurred.

"Yes, Haruhi I'm perfectly fine to thank you," Tomuru responded, her lips upturned into a gracious smile.

"Good," Haruhi turned to hug her friend, to which Tomuru patted her back awkwardly.

"Hey you're smiling, that's something at least," Rossi noticed when Tomuru was released from Haruhi's hug.

"Hey sorry for tripping you up Dog- uh I mean Tomuru," Kaoru apologised.

"Yeah, we thought it would've helped with…ya know," Hikaru added.

"I understand," Tomuru assured.

"Ok, I think we should head home now. We're already kinda late as it is," Rossi pointed out.

"Good idea," Haruhi agreed.

"See you all tomorrow," Tomuru spoke her goodbye, nodding once before walking out of the clubroom.

"Seeya guys," Haruhi said before she and Rossi quickly caught up with Tomuru.

"Who knows maybe she just needs some rest," Tamaki commented.

"Hmm," Kyoya hummed in agreement.

**Tomorrow Morning…**

Tomuru's alarm went off on her phone at 6:30 am, her alarm ringtone being the Steven Universe theme tune.

"Huh? Wha da…oh," Tomuru sat up groggily

"_We are the crystal gems, we'll always save the day._

_Even if you think we can't, we'll always find a way._

_That's why the people of the world believe in,_

_Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl and Steven!"_

Tomuru sang along with her alarm before switching it off. Yep, she's back to normal.

"Aww good morning Boris baby," Tomuru gushed, freeing her feet from under Boris and fussing the sleepy towel.

Suddenly Boris leapt on her excitedly and licked her face profusely, the little twirl of a tail waggling like a hyperactive spring.

"Boris I was only asleep, I didn't disappear off the Earth's surface!" Tomuru protested, shielding her now wet face with her hands.

"What's up with ya hmm?" Tomuru questioned, as Boris nibbled her finger affectionately.

At that moment three knocks rapped on the door.

"Come in?" Tomuru called, confused cus no one knocked on her door.

"Hey, you feeling better T?" Yuli greeted her cautiously.

"Yucky what the cookie dough ice cream are you on about? And why are you knocking? Ya usually barge in," Tomuru questioned.

_First Boris and now Yuli's acting odd_. She thought internally.

"EVERYONE SHE'S BACK!" Yuli shouted before she ran and glomped her little sister.

"What the frick frack, snick snack, paddy wack is going on here?" Tomuru demanded, pinned to the bed by Yuli.

"Thank god for that," Marcel said in relief, standing in the doorway with Rossi.

"Don't ever do that again!" Yuli scolded, thwacking Tomuru on the head.

"Seriously what did I do?" Tomuru exclaimed, thoroughly confused by everyone's behaviour.

Rossi was now hugging her tightly.

"We'll explain everything at breakfast," Marcel offered before he and Yuli left to get changed.

"Kay gerroff then Rossi so I can get ready," Tomuru nudged Rossi as an attempt to peel him away.

"Ok," Rossi mumbled, letting go and shuffling towards the door.

"Hang on a minute," Tomuru jumped up and hugged Rossi, kidding the top of his head.

"I thought I wouldn't see you again," Rossi mumbled sniffling a little.

"Well, whatever happened I'm back now kay?" Tomuru comforted.

"Kay."

**At the Host Club… **

Haruhi was pacing back and forth, hoping that Tomuru was back to her usual self. A shared hope among the other Hosts. There weren't any guests to busy themselves with today. The door opened revealing Rossi and Tomuru. Tomuru had an indifferent expression on her face, which showed that she was still serious. I mean to those who have no idea that she's her normal goofy self.

"Don't tell me she's still serious," Haruhi groaned.

Tomuru looked around the worried faces in the room before breaking into a huge grin and shouting:

"HELLO SMELLOS!" with her arms in the air.

Then Haruhi hugged her tightly, causing a mass hug ball of all the Hosts except Kyoya.

"This is it, this is how I'm gonna die! I had so much to live for!" Tomuru exclaimed dramatically.

"Shut up Sugar," Haruhi laughed.

"Doggie's back, Doggie's back!" the twins chanted.

"Okay yes, I'm, back yay, now get off ya clingy gits!" Tomuru laughed, to which everyone complied except Tamaki.

"My darling daughter is back!" Tamaki uttered jovially, twirling Tomuru round.

"Yes, yes I'm back Dad jeez you guys make it sound like I was gone for a year," Tomuru managed to struggle herself free from his tight grip.

"We missed you, Tomo Chan," Honey whimpered.

"Aww, I'm sorry Cupcake. Let's get you some cake eh?"

"Okay," Honey's mood instantly brightened at the mention of cake.

Mori patted Tomuru's head and smiled down at her before following his childish cousin.

"Thanks, Groot! Right, you lot tell me everything, every little detail cus I can't remember squat," Tomuru insisted.

"I thought Rossi went over this with you?" Haruhi questioned.

"Yeah but he only gave a summarised version of the events. How'd I cut my face and hand and who bandaged me?" Tomuru started her grilling, making herself comfortable.

"I bandaged your hand," Kyoya supplied.

"Oh, thanks, Shadow lord."

"Well…" Haruhi began retelling Tomuru the events of yesterday.

"You put me into a balloon filled room and popped them in front of me!" Tomuru gasped, starting to hyperventilate.

"It alright Sugar, there are no balloons now," Haruhi assured her, with her arm around Tomo's shoulder for comfort.

"Right? Well, that sounds like a normal drama-filled day at the Host club. I mean there's always some dilemma or problem practically every week," Was Tomuru's response when her friends were finished telling her what happened.

"Well, I'm glad you're back Sugar."

"Yeah I can tell dearest," Tomuru remarked.

"Did you miss my usual self Shadow lord?" Tomuru spoke playfully to Kyoya.

"You wish, it was refreshing to have you sensible for a change. Plus you completed your errands much quicker," Kyoya differed.

"Of course, you'd prefer me to be sensible," Tomuru stated rolling her eyes.

"He missed you secretly, he just won't ever admit it," Haruhi whispered to her.

"Oh yeah, he's a proper softy," Tomuru replied sarcastically though stroking her bandaged hand as she spoke.

* * *

**Me: This episode was longer than usual hoped you liked it. By the way, Tomuru's in bed so that's why she hasn't popped up here since it's God knows when O'clock now. today's Tomuru's Tidbit will be about Tomuru's future career. **

**In Episode 1 Part 3 she said that she didn't know what she wanted to be yet but I would like her to either:**

**Have a job working with children, though she doesn't really have the maturity to keep them in line.**

**or**

**Become a scriptwriter (for plays, films, Tv that sorta thing.**

**Anywho I'm going to get some sleep now. Night Lovelies X**


	34. Episode 12 Part 1

**Me: You know when it's probably been a while since you've uploaded when you have to scroll through a load of pages of fanfics to reach your own. Yeah sorry again lovelies, I just had a load of work to finish before I get to break up from college. Hey, at least, I've only got one week of college left before it over! **

**Tomuru: Yeah but you're just gonna procrastinate on Tumblr, Kiss Cartoon, Kiss Anime and Youtube.**

**Me:...Shut up**

**Tomuru: It's the truth though**

**Me: It's not my fault new episodes of Steven Universe have popped up. ANNND a certain someone got me hooked on Abridged Anime!**

**Tomuru: You needed to see the soup video dammit!**

**Me: Yes I did! Well anyways better late than never right? Here're the next chapter lovelies enjoy!**

* * *

**Tomuru's POV**

"Hey, guys," I greeted as I entered the Host club with Rossi.

"I am not wearing that!" I heard Haruhi object as she ran past me, with the Tweeds chasing after her.

"What are the Tweeds up to now Shadow lord?" I questioned to Kyoya, who sat at one of the tables with Groot.

"They're trying to catch Haruhi to dress her up in something undignified I presume," Kyoya responded, still fixated on his laptop.

"Right better go save her then," I turned to head towards Dearest.

However before I got the chance the twin's accidently collided into a table, causing the tea to spill over innocent Usa Chan that happened to be there.

"Hey, where's Honey?" I heard Rossi ask Mori as I went over to the crime scene.

"Now you've done it!" Tamaki accused the devil duo.

"It's done alright," Tweedledum commented.

"But it wasn't our fault," Tweedledee excused.

"What? You idiots you're the ones who bumped into it right?" Tamaki pointed out.

"Only because Haruhi was running away," Hikaru put the blame on Haruhi.

"We were trying to catch her because we wanted to have some fun and dress her up in cosplay," Kaoru supplied.

"So what we cosplay all the time?" Tamaki queried.

"We weren't going with the usual Host Club costumes," Hikaru started.

"We wanted to dress her in bunny cosplay, disguised as a girl," Kaoru finished.

"Disguised as a girl?" Haruhi and I questioned.

"You'd like to see it too wouldn't you?" The Tweeds tried to entice Tamaki.

"I definitely want to see that," I heard Tamaki mutter to himself, with a tomato face before snapping out of his pervy fantasy.

"WHAT AM I THINKING? THERE'S NO TIME FOR STUFF LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO! YOU'RE TRYING TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE MESS YOU'VE MADE. GET AWAY FROM HARUHI YOU PUNKS!" Tamaki blamed the Tweeds once again.

"No way," The Tweeds refused playfully.

"Let me go!" Haruhi protested.

"Tweeds release dearest at once please," I requested firmly.

"Aww, you want some attention Doggie," Hikaru cooed, as the Tweeds released Haruhi and latched onto me.

"Thanks for sacrificing yourself for me Sugar." Haruhi thanked gratefully.

"Eh, no problem," I shrugged.

"Maybe we should dress Doggie too?" Hikaru teased.

"Yeah as our little puppy," Kaoru approved.

"Yeah!" I agreed, liking the idea of dressing up like a dog.

"With a collar and lead so our little puppy doesn't escape," Hikaru continued, both Tweeds sharing their scheming expression.

"Nah!" I objected just as eagerly, letting my legs fold beneath me so I could crawl free from them.

"Look she's practising already," The Tweeds laughed as they watched me crawl away.

I stood up and brushed myself off, before witnessing the Tweeds and Tamaki bicker again. I looked over to the table where the soiled Usa Chan lay. I walked over and picked up the rabbit to inspect the damage.

"I am very sorry that the mean Tweeds made you dirty Usa Chan," I apologised, bowing to the bunny I still held.

"Tweeds apologise to Usa Chan!" I called over to them.

"What? No way it's not real!" The Tweeds refused.

"For all the chocolate in Belgium, you apologise to Usa Chan right now! He will not be belittled just because he's cuddly!" I demanded.

"Pack it in we're not going to say sorry to a toy," Hikaru stated stubbornly, with Kaoru nodding along in agreement.

"Rude," I muttered.

"Excuse me, there aren't any guests at the moment so I don't mind if you make a racket but please…be careful. You don't want to wake Honey Senpai," Kyoya spoke up.

I looked over to the sofa where Honey slept with his bunny blanket wrapped around him.

"He's a 3rd year that still takes afternoon naps? Well, we have to tell him about the bunny at some point. Let's just wake him up and apologise," Haruhi reasoned, moving to wake Honey up.

"No wait don't get any closer to Honey Senpai," The Tweeds and Tamaki cautioned in hushed voices.

"Come back it is safe over here," Tamaki whispered, gesturing Haruhi to the sofa the trio were hiding behind.

"Why's that?" I asked, placing Usa Chan back on a clean part of the table before crouching behind the sofa with the others.

"Honey Senpai wakes up in a very bad mood after napping," Tamaki explained.

"Aww," I gushed, imagining a pouty cupcake rubbing his eyes.

"Not aww!" the twins whisper snapped.

"Now this may just be a rumour but the Honinosuka family once visited a US military facility to give combat training. Incidentally, Honey Senpai slept through most of it because of his jet lag. Then a soldier came in and carelessly tried to wake him up since he had been sleeping for so long. On that day, he wiped out two platoons of soldiers. And not just any soldiers green berets. And I've heard we've had diplomatic issues since that day," Tamaki told us, with the Tweeds looking frightened behind him as he spoke.

"How terrifying!" The twins stated fearfully.

"And we've got an even bigger problem. Usa Chan was handmade for Honey Senpai by his deceased grandmother. You see the way he carries it around. That little bunny is his most prized possession. I can't imagine how he's going to react when he wakes up and sees that his precious Usa Chan is ruined," Tamaki continued.

"HE'S GOING TO DO TO US WHAT HE DID TO THOSE GREEN BERETS!" The trio of idiots exclaimed.

"Well don't shout then," I reminded them.

"You're exaggerating it's impossible for that story to be true. I mean come on," Haruhi differed.

"Yeah I call malarkey I mean there's no way Honey can make a massive pink bunny cloud appear in the sky," I agreed.

"It is and there's another evidence that Honey Senpai has an evil side to him. His blood type is AB how'd you like that?" Tamaki insisted, returning to a hushed voice tone.

"So what?" Rossi asked, joining in on the conversation.

"But son that means he's the same blood type as Kyoya!"

After that revelation, it swayed our opinion of Honey Senpai, with all of staring at the shadow lord himself still typing away.

"What's the matter do you guys have a problem with my blood type?" Kyoya remarked, still looking at his laptop screen.

"Yeah if he's got the same blood as shadow lord then he definitely has some darkness dwelling in him," I commented.

"Oh for those of you watching with type AB please don't take any offence to this," Haruhi spoke to nothing.

I looked to where she was speaking then towards her in confusion.

"Who are you talking too?" I muttered.

"This is bad we have to do something quick before he wakes up. Hikaru, Kaoru?" Tamaki clicked his fingers and the Tweeds appeared at his command.

"Sir," The twins saluted.

"Go get your folk's Cessna. Fly to Osorizan and bring back a medium, we can channel Honey Senpai's grandmother and she can help guide us through it. We can make a new Usa Chan for Honey Senpai. Take this map of the Omori prefecture with you. And don't forget to bring back apple juice, apple jam and souvenir dolls," Tamaki instructed.

"But we don't have that much time," Hikaru pointed out.

"We're used to your crazy ideas but you should come up with something more practical," Kaoru suggested.

"Alright how about this, we'll send Usa Chan to the cleaners. Haruhi you're going to have to wear the bunny suit."

"Yeah, good idea boss," The Tweeds approved.

"Forget about it! I'M NOT WEARING THAT STUPID BUNNY SUIT! IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK HE'LL KNOW IT'S ME!" Haruhi refused, trying to run away but getting held back by Tamaki.

"No, he won't, he won't be able to tell the difference when he's just waking up from a nap!" Tamaki argued.

"WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU WEAR IT SENPAI?" Haruhi questioned.

"It won't be as cute if I wear it. Come on it's the least you can do!" Tamaki reasoned before the two of them squabbled over it.

I looked over towards Honey Senpai to see him grouchily start to wake up.

"Uh oh looks like someone's done napping," Rossi commented.

"HE'S AWAKE! WE HAVE TO USE A SUBSTITUTE WE'VE GOT NO CHOICE!" Tamaki exclaimed in a panic.

Tamaki released Haruhi and quickly ran to find his teddy bear. Once found his brown bear was placed at the foot of Honey's bed before cupcake could notice. Tamaki and the twins were back behind the sofa again with their eyes going all over the place. When cupcake finally noticed the bear he stared at it for a moment…before picking it up and throwing on the floor.

"AAAHH NOT MY TEDDY BEAR!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"HE'S GONNA COME AFTER US NEXT!" Hikaru panicked along with the other two.

"AAAH HE JUST SPOTTED HIS BUNNY RABBIT!" Kaoru cried.

Honey walked over to Usa Chan with his blanket still clutched in one hand. He picked up the dirtied Usa Chan and turned to us.

"Who's responsible for this? Who got Usa Chan dirty?" Honey asked, in a similar tone he used to portray a thug in that film episode a while back.

"SOMEONE HELP! MORI SENPAI DON'T LET HIM HURT US!" the trio of panicked idiots begged for Mori Senpai's protection with tears streaming down their faces.

"He wanted tea, so Usa Chan decided to have a drink," Mori stated simply.

"I see so that's why his face is all dirty isn't it? Hey, do you think he wants some cake too?" Honey's demeanour changed suddenly back to his normal Lolita cupcake self.

I laughed at the trio sharing the spotlight of shame.

"You guys got so worked up and that that was all it took to…" I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"By the way, you're a genius, Groot," I praised Mori's quick thinking, to which he patted my head as thanks.

"Hey, I just realised something," Rossi piped up.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

"Isn't your blood type AB as well Tomo?" Rossi realised.

"…Beg ya pardon?"

"Yeah it totally is, I can't believe I forgot that," Haruhi commented.

"N-no it's not!" I refused to believe it.

"It is sugar just accept it," Haruhi tough loved.

"Nooo I can't have bad blood in me I'm too silly to have a dark side!" I protested.

"Well, you do have a violent edge to ya," Hikaru pointed out.

"Ok, 1 so does Rossi and 2 only when someone gets on my nerves or if danger's afoot," I argued.

"You don't like sharing my blood type Tomuru?" Shadow lord tormented.

"Shut up Shadow lord," I grumbled.

**Inner Monologue**

_You two are practically meant to be! I mean you two have the same blood type for crying out loud!_

_Oh, I knew you were gonna say something like that Dearest, pack it in!_

_Kyomuru! _

_Oh, my god, you have a ship name for us? Fine, then I can get to make a ship name for you and Tamaki. Uuuh Hamaki? No uh Taruhi? No that's not right uh Tamruki? That's even worse._

_Are ya done?_

_I'll think of a good one someday!_

_Sure you will._

* * *

**Me: hope that was worth the wait, I'll try and update sooner lovelies (emphasis on try).**

**Tomuru: TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Yep and today it will simply be Tomuru's birthday and star sign. Care to do the honours?**

**Tomuru: Not exactly an honour but ok. My birthday is the 10th of June, which makes my star sign Gemini.**

**Me: So we just missed your birthday?**

**Tomuru: Yep I'm 16 years old as of last Wednesday**

**Me: Happy late birthday Tomuru!**

**Tomuru: Thanks **

**Me: Seeya around lovelies! X**


	35. Episode 12 Part 2

**Me: Right you lot have waited long enough for this chapter. It seems like I'm updating longer and longer each time, I'll really try not to but during summer, I barely have a concept of time. Don't even ask what day it is I have no idea. **

**Anyway, hope you're all having a fantastic summer! Tomuru cannot be here as she is on holiday visiting her grandparents in Egypt. As usual hope, you enjoy this chapter lovelies XX**

* * *

"Now it's time to get some more cake for Mr sleepy pants," I said whilst heading towards the kitchen.

"Hey, I'm awake now!" Honey protested childishly.

"Alright, Cupcake come pick out what cake you want," I offered my hand to him, which he took eagerly and dragged me to the cake source.

I heard Honey hum to himself as I filled the cake tray with the cakes that he decided upon.

"The guests are arriving guys," Rossi poked his head through the door to tell us.

"Kay we'll be right there," I replied, squeezing the last few cakes onto the tray.

I carted the cake tray into the clubroom, with cupcake currently situated on my back.

"Special delivery for you ladies," I told three of Honey's guests and Rossi, as I gently plonked Honey down on the spare seat around the table.

"Thanks, Tomo Chan!" Honey sang, before digging into the cake slice Groot placed in front of him.

"Aww that's soooo cute!" the three guests gushed.

"I'll get the rest of the cakes for you lot," I stated, turning to retrieve the cake cart that was a bit further away.

Once retrieved I carted the cake tray to Honey and Mori's Host station.

"Honey, how do you like your chocolate? Mousse? Bonbons?" I heard one of the guests converses.

"Wait I bet chocolate cake is your favourite huh?" Another guest spoke up.

"Hmm let's see…well, I like em all. I love anything chocolate, Usa Chan and all of you ladies!" Honey answered sweetly.

"I love Rossi Chan and Tomo Chan too!" Honey added, smiling towards Rossi and me.

"T-thanks Honey," Rossi responded, hiding a blush with his hand, which, by the way, was very cute.

"Aw, thanks, Cupcake I love ya too," I responded.

"Don't tell Kyo-Chan you love me otherwise, he'll be upset," Honey teased.

"Oh don't you dare start that again," I groaned before I quickly walked off.

I overheard Honey's guests eagerly ask what he meant as I left, which I'm sure will only encourage Cupcake further.

"Mitskuni Honinosuka, otherwise known as Honey Senpai, aged 17. Ouran Academy 3rd year, class A, and a member of the Host club. Favourite things include cake, chocolate and bunnies. Famous for his boy Lolita characteristics," Renge described Honey through a microphone.

"That was a close call earlier huh Senpai?" I overheard Haruhi conversing with Tamaki.

"No kidding, I'm glad we settled that Usa Chan issues without any violence," Tamaki responded lightly.

"Honey Senpai's catchphrases include 'I love candy' and 'I love cute things'. While some find these charming I' not quite sold on his cutesy Loli boy image it's not exciting enough. IT FEELS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING IN HIS CHARACTER ARC!" Renge continued.

"Tsk," I scoffed under my breath as I walked passed.

"Tomuru Okiro, a simple dog at the host club who barely does anything worthwhile. A chimp can do a better job at running errands than her! Her immature behaviour is starting to get old and repetitive, which poorly hides her true worthless nature," It was apparently my turn to get described by Renge.

"You're always so sweet to me Renge!" I remarked sassily.

"You're not gonna replace me with a chimp are ya Shadow lord?" I asked Kyoya as I placed his coffee down in front of him.

"It wouldn't make much of a difference either way," Kyoya responded, still concentrating on his laptop.

"Rude Shadow lord," I scorned lightly before making my way towards the last few host stations.

"Hey Doggie, think we can come round to your place tonight?" Tweedledee asked as I served their guests.

"Fine by me, I'm sure Marcel would be happy to see you guys again," I replied.

"Any particular reason why?" I added.

"Nah just wanted to see Boris again," Tweedledum answered.

"Boris is pretty awesome," I admitted.

"Who's Boris?" One of the guests asked eagerly.

"My dog," I answered, before describing him to the guests.

"Aww, he sounds so adorable!" Another guest cooed.

"Yeah, he's the best. Maybe I could get permission from shadow lord to let me bring Boris round to the Host club one day," I said.

"Yeah!" the Tweeds agreed eagerly.

"Kay I'm gonna ask Shadow lord then," I turned and headed back where Kyoya sat.

"Shaaadoooow Loooord?" I drawled as I sat across from him.

"What are you after Tomuru?" Kyoya asked bluntly.

"Weeell some of the twins guests wanted to see Boris so I was wondering if I could bring him to the Host club one day?" I spoke rapidly.

"You want to bring Boris to the Host club?" Shadow lord summed up.

"Yep."

"…I'll think about it."

"Thanks-" before I could finish my sentence I heard a commotion coming from Honey's table.

"What's wrong with Cupcake?" I wondered as I walked up to them.

"Let me just take a look in your mouth," Haruhi spoke to Honey, with the twins either side.

"There's nothing wrong quit messing with me. Leave me alone!" Honey complained, squirming and clutching his cheek.

In one quick motion, Mori restrained Honey on one of the sofas and opened his mouth. This apparently pleased the guests as they were gushing with twinkly eyes.

"Yes that's it, that's it! That's what was missing. It's MOOOEEE!" Renge exclaimed.

"What's wrong with Cupcake?" I repeated to Rossi.

"Something wrong with his teeth I think," Rossi answered.

"So is it a cavity?" Tamaki queried, looking over Mori's shoulder.

"Yeah," Mori confirmed, looking into Honey's mouth.

"How bad is it?" Rossi whispered to me.

"Well from what I can see there are little demons jabbing at the tooth with pitchforks," I supplied.

"That's never good."

"Mhm," I agreed.

"It's alright I'll be ok," Honey assured feebly.

"Tamaki," Mori spoke up, looking expectedly towards him.

"Yes you're right I'll take care of this," Tamaki replied, before turning his attention to the rest of us.

Tamaki cleared his throat before making an announcement to us.

"Until Honey Senpai gets over his cavity I'm afraid he can't have sweets. Therefore, we'll be supportive and ask to kindly refrain from eating snacks in the club room until this ordeal is over."

"No, no don't Takashi. Please don't take my snacks away. You can't don't do it. What would I do without them? I CAN HANDLE IT! PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY MY CAKE!" Honey begged, crying his eyes out.

"No more cake," Mori stated bluntly, before taking away the cake in front of Honey.

"AAAAAHHH!" Honey cried out.

"And that's how it all began. One little cavity and suddenly Honey Senpai's life became a living hell," Renge narrated.

"Hey don't narrate cupcake's misery!" I scorned.

"Uh probably best not to use that nickname for a while Sugar," Haruhi pointed out.

"Oh yeah, that would be kinda inappropriate huh?" I realised, looking at poor Honey who collapsed into his dark aura on the floor.

**On the way back home…**

"Uh, Tomo?" Rossi spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Why are Hikaru and Kaoru following us?"

"Oh yeah, they're coming round to our house again."

"Why?" Haruhi asked.

"How rude! Do we need a reason to visit our precious Doggie, Haruhi?" Hikaru spoke up.

"Yeah!" Kaoru agreed.

"Unless you want us to visit you instead?" the Tweeds spoke simultaneously, moving to sandwich Haruhi in between them.

"Whatever," Haruhi brushed the two of them off and walked slightly ahead of us.

"By the way, what did Kyoya Senpai say when you asked about Boris?" Kaoru questioned.

"He says he'll think about it," I answered.

"Hang on what about Boris?" Rossi asked in confusion.

"Oh, I asked Shadow lord if I could bring Boris to the Host club one day," I supplied.

"Oooh," Rossi and Haruhi oohed at once.

* * *

**Me: I'm dividing this episode into 3 parts instead of adding a random episode at the end. Sorry if this chapter is a little short.**

**For this Tomuru's Tidbits, I'll talk about Tomuru's favourite superhero. Which is, despite his potty mouth, obviously DEADPOOL! **

**A good choice, to be honest, I saw the trailer for the Deadpool film and it's AMAZING!**

**I plan to update the final part of this episode before I go on holiday. I am also planning on holding a little contest with you guys if you're interested. **

**September 1st marks the 1 year anniversary of Haruhi's best Friend! HOORAY! **

**Now to celebrate this, I plan on updating on that day with a Random Episode. However, I will write anything my lovely readers want. Write what you want this Random Episode to be and I will choose my favourite (or the most popular) and write it if you lovelies are interested. It can be ANYTHING you want: sleepovers, trips, body/ gender swaps, alternate universes, birthdays, all sorts! **

**So please write your ideas and I'll seeya next time lovelies! Thanks for waiting for my procrastinating brain to kick in X **


	36. Episode 12 Part 3

**Me: I really wanted to do the anniversary chapter on an actual day but no, no my internet just had to mess up! So I'm publishing these two chapters at my uncle's house while I catsit for them. **

**Thank you to those few who have reviewed your ideas. I have picked a winner and I will update the chapter tomorrow.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter lovelies X**

* * *

**3****rd**** person Narrative**

Currently, the twins were around Tomuru's house, using her as a manikin for Marcel's latest clothes creations.

"Ya know I don't think spotty leggings suit her," Hikaru opinionated.

"Well it doesn't have to suit her; she just has to _stay still_ for me to finish drawing," Marcel responded, sending a pointed look towards Tomuru.

"Well if SOME people didn't keep sticking pins on my back like I'm some voodoo doll then there wouldn't be an issue Mars!" Tomuru stated in irritation, glaring at the twins behind her.

"Just making sure the dress stayed on, it's a little loose on you Doggie," Kaoru excused innocently, adding another pin onto her.

"Yeah well that doesn't mean turning me into some porcupine furry," Tomuru argued.

"We do not say that word in that context in this house Tomo," Marcel piped up.

"Oh yeah, forgot you have a passionate hate for people that take dressing up to a whole new odd level. Sorry Mars."

"And what's with this new nickname you gave me?" Marcel muttered.

"Look I only just made the connection so just roll with it," Tomuru waved off.

"Fine," Marcel rolled with it.

"At least, your nickname is a planet. I got stuck with Yucky!" The four of them heard Yuliana shout from her room.

"True," Marcel agreed, still concentrating on his drawing pad.

"Yo Tomo?" Rossi came into the room.

"Mhm?"

"D'ya think Honey's gonna be ok?" Rossi asked worriedly.

"Honestly? I'm not sure. I mean for a normal person they'd be fine. But this is Cupcake we're talking about, he practically lives off cake. Lord knows how he's gonna handle not eating any snacks for however long," Tomuru responded.

"Hmm," Rossi hummed in agreement.

"I suppose we're just gonna have to wait till tomorrow," Kaoru spoke up.

"Yeah," Hikaru agreed.

"OW will ya pack it in with the pins!" Tomuru exclaimed.

**Tomorrow **

Honey walked through the hallway, saddened by being unable to not eat anything sweet.

"Poor Honey Senpai looks so miserable. It's a shame the Host club has banned snacks," One of two girls commented in concern as he passed.

"It must be really difficult for him. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive, I know he's in pain but…" the second girl conversed.

"Aww, he's so cute!" Both girls gushed, due to the fact that the bandage around his head makes Honey look like he has bunny ears.

"Mitskuni, bag," Mori came up behind him with his hand stretched out.

"I can carry it," Honey mumbled.

"Yes you can, hand it over," Mori insisted.

Once he had the bag he tipped it upside down. Tons of sweets tumbled from the contents of Honey's bag, forming a large pile in front of him.

"I was just looking. I wasn't going to eat them," Was Honey's excuse.

"Really? If you were just looking then try this," Mori handed Honey a dessert flyer.

"I'll keep the real stuff," Mori stated.

"AAAAHH!" Honey once again fell to the floor in despair.

Meanwhile, around the corner stood Hikaru, Kaoru and Haruhi, witnessing what just happened.

"Oh man that, was rough," The twins commented.

"I kinda feel sorry for him," Haruhi admitted.

"I had no idea that Mori Senpai could be so brutal," Hikaru commented.

"You wouldn't expect it. I thought his principles kept him from doing anything to upset Honey Senpai," Kaoru said.

"And to think he could get the boss to go along with him."

Haruhi stopped for a moment to take in what the twins said, concerned for Honey's wellbeing.

At the Host Club…

"Hey Dearest, how's Honey Senpai doing?" As soon as she entered the room, Tomuru went straight to Haruhi to get updated.

"Still as miserable as yesterday, he tried to sneak some sweets in his bag but Mori Senpai quickly intercepted," Haruhi supplied.

"Poor little dude," Tomuru spoke in concern, looking to where Honey was watching Rossi attempt to cheer him up.

As she did her usual routine she heard comments from the guests, mainly about Honey's current condition.

"It's too bad Tamaki. I wanted to give you some chocolates specially made the new patisserie; my family just hired him from France. But I can't give them to you because you're not eating sweets," Tomuru overheard Tamaki's guest.

"Do not fret my princess. For the present, I must abstain from eating sweets for poor Honey Senpai's sake. But eventually, we'll be able to share chocolate together again," Tamaki spoke in his Princely act.

"The friendship you boys have is absolutely beautiful," The guest admired.

"I believe things will work out for the better this way my dear. I'm sure it's delicious but no chocolate could ever withstand the heatwave of our love so it will all melt and go to waste," Tamaki spoke romantically, entwining his hands with hers.

"Oh, Tamaki," The guest sighed.

"That's your excuse huh?" Tomuru muttered, heading to the next Host station.

Once she reached Kyoya's table she noticed something was different.

"Are you feeling alright Shadow lord?" She asked, pouring his coffee for him.

"Never better Tomuru why do ask?" Kyoya responded pleasantly.

"Cus you're smiling, you never smile," Tomuru answered bluntly.

"I smile sometimes."

"No, your evil smirk doesn't count."

"Shouldn't you be bothering someone else?" Kyoya went from a smile to an irritated small frown.

"That's more like it!" Tomuru said cheerfully, before leaving Kyoya to his business.

"Impressive boss that was quite an act," Hikaru stated as Tamaki walked passed the twins.

"Missing sweets aren't you?" Kaoru guessed.

"Buzz off. The number one priority is our guests, all that matters are their happiness," Tamaki responded.

"You better watch yourselves out there. Don't give any sweets to Honey Senpai no matter what tricks he resorts to. Oh and incidentally those instructions come from Mori Senpai this isn't my doing," Kyoya instructed, with a cheerful smile on his face.

"So is it just me or does he seem to be enjoying this?" Hikaru commented.

"I don't trust shadow lord smiling like that, it weirds me out," Tomuru stated.

"What? Kyoya Senpai actually looking happy for once?" Kaoru guessed.

"Exactly! Hey, where'd dearest go by the way?" Tomuru asked.

"Oh, I think she said something about going to the library," Kaoru answered.

"Oh okay," Tomuru shrugged, returning to her errand girl duties.

_I wonder what kind of tricks cupcake's got planned? _Tomuru wondered.

* * *

"Look Takashi my cavity's all better now!" Honey called to Mori happily, running up towards him.

"You sure?" Mori asked, continuing to read.

"The swelling's even gone down!" Honey insisted.

"Has it?"

"So d'ya think I could have a piece of cake? Juust one? Pleeease," Honey asked sweetly.

However once Honey got close Mori stuck a bubble gum ice lolly in his mouth to see if Honey was telling the truth. This made Honey's eyes water as he clutched his swollen cheek in pain.

"You haven't fully recovered yet," Mori stated, walking off with the ice lolly still at hand.

* * *

Two guests at the Host club were enjoying tea and sandwiches when Honey suddenly targeted them. The two girls looked away as Honey walked over to them, he's cuteness level at full power.

"What are you ladies drinking?" Honey asked innocently.

"Err Darjeeling tea it's really good," The guest with the green headband answered.

"Yeah? What are you going to have to eat?" Honey asked.

"Well, I was going to have a sandwich," The black haired girl responded.

"Know what you need, some sweets. That tea will go well with something sweet. Like maybe some cake! C'mon, what d'ya say?" Honey suggested, his pink flowers twirling in the background.

"Well…it would go well with cake," The first girl commented reluctantly.

"It sure would," The second girl agreed.

Then the two girls decided to abandon their tea and run away.

"We're so sorry Honey."

"But it's for your own good."

"W-wait!" Honey called after them, before hanging his head in defeat.

* * *

On his third attempt, he decided to target Haruhi and Tomuru

"Honey Senpai?" Haruhi stated as he walked to stand by them with his eyes looking to the ground.

"Hey, you hanging on there sweetie? Crap, I shouldn't have said sweetie!" Tomuru stated, realising her mistake after she tried to comfort Honey.

"Haru-Chan, Tomo Chan, am I a bad person?" Honey asked sadly, gripping Haruhi's blazer.

"I just don't understand why god hates me. What have I done?" Honey continued tearfully.

Haruhi looked around before responding to Honey.

"Ok fine, but only this once got it?" Haruhi whispered, rifling through her blazer pocket.

"Dearest no you must resist!" Tomuru whisper scorned.

"Is it a snack?" Honey asked brightening up.

"Yeah, here," Haruhi handed him a stick of kelp in a red wrapper.

"It's the same colour as chocolate, try it," Haruhi said chirpily.

However, Honey just looked down at his hand in frozen shock.

* * *

Tomuru gave a low whistle "Jeez three whole days without sweets that must be a record for Honey," Tomuru said in admiration.

"He's gonna crack," Tamaki commented, the Hosts watching Honey pace around the room.

"Could someone please talk to him? He's scaring me," Kaoru spoke nervously.

"He's heading for the candy!" Hikaru exclaimed in panic.

"No need to worry, we emptied out all the sweets," Kyoya assured.

"Kyoya Senpai you seem really chipper today," Haruhi pointed out to him.

The Hosts watched as Honey looked inside the candy drawer, took out Tamaki's teddy bear and threw it on the ground.

"AAAH HE KEEPS DOING THAT TO MY TEDDY BEAR!" Tamaki shouted.

"Well don't bring your teddy bear to school then," Tomuru stated.

Honey took a few steps forward back into the clubroom before falling down in defeat.

"Well, there he goes."

"Three days and he give up," Hikaru said.

"Uh, Tamaki I think it'll be best to leave him be," Tomuru advised, seeing Tamaki get up and head towards Honey.

"Uh, Honey Senpai?" Tamaki spoke nervously, nudging him gently.

Suddenly Honey bit down on Tamaki's hand and refused to let go.

"AAAH SOMEBODY HELP ME HE'S EATING MY ARM OFF!" Tamaki screamed as he ran around the room, with Honey still biting down on his hand.

Mori got up and walked towards the two blonds.

"Mitskuni doesn't take this out on other people, it's disgraceful," Mori scorned.

This made Honey let go of Tamaki, his anger now turned on Mori.

"Takashi…YOU IDIOT!" Honey shouted, flipping Mori over his back.

"Holy Macaroni," Tomuru whispered, in shock like the other spectating Hosts were.

"A LITTE BIT ISN'T GOING TO HURT ME! YOU'RE SO MEAN! YOUR SUCH A HARD HEAD! THAT'S IT I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU TAKASHI!" Honey shouted at him, as Mori sat up, before crying and running out of the clubroom.

"Honey Senpai," Tamaki ran after him.

"I'm gonna see if he's alright," Rossi stated worriedly, running after the two blond Hosts.

"Hey, Mori Senpai," Hikaru started.

"That was harsh will you be alright?" Kaoru finished in concern.

As Mori got up, he stumbled and broke a table he attempted to lean on.

"Ya know I'm sure Honey didn't mean what he said, Groot," Tomuru comforted gently, standing up to join the twins.

"Wow, Senpai it looks like he really got to you. I don't know what's going on but it seems like you're self-destructing," Hikaru told Mori.

"Maybe Honey Senpai wouldn't hate you so much if you hadn't been so hard on him in the first place," Kaoru reasoned.

"It was on purpose," Haruhi realised.

"What?" Tomuru asked in confusion.

"Mori Senpai by any chance have you acting like this because you were trying to get Honey Senpai to hate you?" Haruhi questioned.

"Why would he do that?" Hikaru asked.

"That makes no sense. That would be like the end of the world for Mori Senpai," Kaoru pointed out.

"Why would he do it on purpose?" the Twins spoke at once.

"Well maybe because he was trying to punish himself," Haruhi reasoned.

"I'm right aren't I?" Haruhi asked Mori.

"…Yeah, you are this was my fault," Mori confirmed.

"Mitskuni has a cavity because I'm careless. Twice before his naptime, I forgot to make him brush his teeth," Mori continued.

"…Beg ya pardon?"

"Eh, that really isn't your responsibility," Hikaru pointed out.

"He should know better," Kaoru added.

"But if Mitskuni has to get false teeth it will be my fault," Mori stated in shame.

"Err don't worry that isn't going to happen," The twins assured.

"Wow, what a pessimist," Haruhi commented.

"Uh Sugar, you ok?" Haruhi added, looking down at Tomuru who was currently on the floor with her hands covering her face.

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself right now if Mitskuni hadn't thrown me down."

"Because he felt at fault, Mori Senpai felt he needed punishment from Honey Senpai to make up for his failure," Kyoya supplied.

"Well, that makes for a nice story and everything," Hikaru started.

"It was just a little cavity right?" Kaoru finished.

"I can't…I can't…" Tomuru mumbled quietly on the floor.

The doors opened to reveal Honey, with Tamaki and Rossi beside him.

"Well, there you have it Honey Senpai. What will you do now?" Tamaki said.

Honey ran into the room in tears, rushing towards Mori.

"I'M SORRY!" Honey cried out, kneeling down beside Mori.

"I'M SO SORRY TAKASHI! I PROMISE I WON'T FORGET TO BRUSH MY TEETH AGAIN! I WON'T FORGET!" Honey exclaimed tearfully.

"Sis, why are you on the floor?" Rossi asked, looking down over her, along with Haruhi.

"I can't…I can't believe out of all the Hosts, Groot was secretly the most dramatic of them all," Tomuru muttered, still in shock.

"Really? Even more so than Tamaki?" Kyoya stated.

"…Alright maybe like after Tamaki and the Tweeds," Tomuru altered her previous comment.

A few days later…

"A few days later Honey Senpai recovered from his painful cavity. So the Host club decided to lift their ban on sweets and Honey Senpai can greedily stuff his face once more," Renge narrated.

"What the heck's up with shadow lord?" Tomuru questioned, seeing Kyoya's slouched form holding bills.

"Cus Honey Senpai's back to eating snacks again," Hikaru answered.

"All those sweets get expensive," Kaoru added.

"So that's why he was so cheerful," Tomuru realised.

"Excuse me?" A female voice came from across the room.

"Oh, my looks like we have a new guest gentlemen," Tamaki commented on the girl walking towards them.

"Are you a fan of Mori Senpai?" Tamaki asked.

"It's that girl," Haruhi muttered.

"What girl?" Tomuru whispered.

"I'll explain later," Haruhi waved off.

"Fine," Tomuru left it at that as the new guest approached Mori.

"Well, Mori I understand now. I know who you feel so strongly about and it's ok," The girl looked over to Honey, who was happily stuffing his face.

"I must say I find it surprising that it's Honey. To think he's so special to you…I don't know it's just so. I can't explain it's just so…YAY!" The girl continued, hearts in her eyes.

"Yet another Moe girl is born," Tomuru commented.

"Congratulations you've just taken your first big step into a brand new world," Renge congratulated, standing beside her.

The new guest smiled and turned her attention to Mori, who was cleaning Honey's cakey face.

"Mitskuni you've made a mess," Mori spoke as he wiped cake of Honey's cheeks.

This made the Moe girls go gushy.

"THAT'S RIGHT LADIES IT'S MOE! IT'S THE GREATEST I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!" Renge exclaimed through her microphone.

"Ya know even if this does look and feel like a happy ending. I'm not sure everyone out there will think that Moe is the best way to wrap things up," Haruhi commented.

"I agree," Tomuru agreed.

"MOE!" the guests shouted.

"Oh, good grief," Haruhi said in exasperation.

* * *

**Me: Thanks for reading lovelies, I hope to update before I go back to college**

**Tomuru: I'M BACK! I've missed being in these segments. Anyway TOMURU'S TIDBITS!**

**Me: Yep and today will be Tomuru's favourite food**

**Tomuru: CHOCOLATE BUTTONS! Also profiteroles, spicy chicken and ****Okonomiyaki (savoury pancake with pork and cabbage).**

**Me: Right seeya next time lovelies for the Anniversary episode...hopefully **


	37. Anniversary Episode!

**Tomuru: HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY EPISODE OF HARUHI'S BEST FRIEND! If be it a late one. (party poppers popping in the background)**

**Me: Yes finally I've uploaded it. I can't believe it's been a whole year!**

**Tomuru: Now it's time to reveal who won the contest. Drum roll, please...**

**(Drum roll plays)**

**Tomuru: BODY SWAP! SUBMITTED BY BIZZYLIZY!**

**Me: Congratulations! I hope it's as good as you imagined!**

**Tomuru: Without further ado here's Body Swap**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

It was just gonna be a normal day at the Host Club, just a normal frickin day. If we just played hangman or rock, paper, scissors then we might not be in this mess but no, no it had to be truth or dare. It was the Tweeds fault, it was their idea! You're probably wondering what the hell I'm going on about so I'll just tell ya. It all started when we were waiting for the guests to turn up at the clubroom…

"C'mon we've got nothing else to do," Hikaru continued to persist.

"Yeah it'll be fun," Kaoru agreed.

"No way am I playing truth or dare with you two!" I objected, Dearest and I firmly refusing the idea.

"Why not?" Hikaru whined.

"You two will just make creepy requests, like the pervy Tweeds you are," I argued.

"Doggie, how could you say that?" Tweedledum exaggerated offense.

"You make us sound so dirty. We have some integrity, Tweedledee continued.

"Riiight?" I drawled unconvinced.

"Ok how about we take a vote. Hands up who wants to play truth or dare before the guests come?" Kaoru suggested.

Almost everyone's hand went up, aside from Dearest, Shadow Lord and I.

"Rossi, you traitor!" I said, feeling betrayed.

"I have faith that you'll punch anyone who tries to make me do something I'm not comfortable with," Rossi responded.

"Fine we'll play, just remember Rossi is 12, 12 got it?" I made my point clear, aiming the comment at the Tweeds.

"Got it," The Tweeds answered.

"Who decides who goes first?" Rossi asked.

"Oh, I know!" I ran to my school bag and rifled through it, returning with an empty water bottle.

"What are we supposed to do with that?" Hikaru asked.

"We sit in a circle, someone spins the bottle in the middle and whoever the cap points to is asked truth or dare by the others," I explained.

"That's a great idea," Tamaki commented.

"Ok let's get this started," Hikaru stated impatiently.

Everyone sat down around a coffee table, where I placed the bottle, that is aside from Kyoya.

"I'm guessing you're not playing shadow lord?" I guessed.

"I have better things to do than play your high school games," Kyoya spoke from a table nearby, his eyes glued to the laptop screen as usual.

_Jeez, talk about a buzzkill._

"So who's spinning first?" Haruhi asked.

* * *

"Truth or Dare!" Tamaki and the Tweeds sang at me after five turns it was my turn to be the victim.

Those three, in particular, were getting really into this game.

"It doesn't matter, I know what you lot are gonna ask so I'll go truth," I answered, predicting what was gonna happen.

After a brief moment of whispering ideas, cupcake decided to ask.

"Do you like Kyo-Chan?"

"I knew it, I frickin knew it!" I exclaimed.

"Sugar the readers knew it," Haruhi pointed out.

"What the heck are the readers?" I asked in confusion.

"Never mind, just answer the question," Haruhi waved off.

"I've answered this question too many times already. No I do not like 'Kyo Chan' in a romancy shcmancy way, just in a platonic sense. God you guys are worse than the guests shipping me and dearest together," I answered.

"Aww, poor Kyoya Senpai's heartbroken," The Tweeds said in mock pity.

"No I'm not," Kyoya spoke up firmly.

"How do we know she's telling the truth?" Haruhi teased.

"Ya know in a minute Dearest I'm gonna thwack you," I growled.

"You would never," Haruhi scoffed.

"Yeah, I would never," I admitted.

"Would you like to know for sure that she's telling the truth?" Nekasowa suddenly appeared from behind, making me fall off my seat in surprise.

"You can't just do that dude!" I exclaimed, sitting back down beside Dearest.

"How?" the Tweeds asked Nekasowa eagerly.

"With this," Nekasowa took out a bottle filled with neon purple liquid from under his cloak.

"After helping you bond with your sister, this is what we get in return? Poison?" I exclaimed.

"Not poison, a truth potion the Black Magic club cooked up last week. However, this potion only works if everyone has a drop. The person who you want the truth from has two drops," Nekasowa placed the bottle down on the table.

"…You do have a reverse potion for this right?" I asked unsurely.

"Right here," Nekasowa assured, placing a bottle down with green liquid inside.

"Just checking."

"Let's do it!" the Tweeds exclaimed excitedly, grabbing the purple bottle.

"Remember, only a drop," Nekasowa reminded, handing a plastic syringe to them.

"Kay," Hikaru had a drop of the potion before Kaoru.

"How does it taste?" Rossi asked curiously.

"Kinda like kiwi," Kaoru answered, handing the bottle and syringe to Tamaki.

Soon everyone had a drop before the bottle came to me.

"You wanna get in on this Shadow Lord?" I offered, wiggling the bottle in his direction.

Kyoya paused from whatever he does on his laptop, before walking over to us.

"I'm going to regret this aren't I?" He said as he took the bottle from me.

"Only one way to find out," I shrugged.

Once he took his potion it was my turn.

"Huh, it does taste like kiwi fruit," I agreed with Kaoru once I carefully took the potion.

"So what do we do now?" Tamaki asked Nekasowa.

"The truth potion should take effect as soon as you ask a question," Nekasowa answered.

"Ok I'll ask, Sugar do you fancy Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"No I don't," I answered firmly.

"Aww, she really was telling the truth," Honey pouted.

"See? I told…" I froze mid-sentence as the room felt like it was spinning.

"Is it just me or does the room feel like its spinning?" I heard myself ask the others, in a slightly slurred voice.

I heard the others agree, also in slurred voices.

"Uh oh," I heard Nekasowa say, before I blacked out.

When I woke up I was on the floor of the clubroom, blinking up at the bright chandeliers on the ceiling.

_What the heck did that cat puppet dude do to us? Hang on why does it feel like I have a sausage with two meatballs in my trousers? Hang on I don't remember wearing trousers? Or glasses? Why the heck am I wearing glasses?_

I took off the glasses I was apparently wearing, making the world instantly blurry. I put the glasses back on and looked down at myself, noticing I was one, wearing the Ouran boys uniform and two, I was very pale. I shakily stood up and looked around, to find the others were still asleep. I froze when I saw my body leaning against Haruhi on the sofa I previously sat on.

"No way," I whispered in shock, before quickly clamping my hand over my mouth.

_Why do I sound like shadow lord?!_

I turned and rushed to the changing rooms, disoriented from the increased height. I pulled one of the curtains to the side to reveal one of the changing room mirrors. Looking back at me was a panicked Shadow Lord with wide eyes and disheveled hair. Now I don't see myself as much of a screamer but…

"I'M BLOODY SHADOW LORD!" I yelled, which sounded odd coming from Kyoya's voice.

I couldn't break eye contact with my, or Kyoya's, reflection as I heard the others wake up. I heard their freaked shouts as I mentally cursed Nekasowa for apparently giving us the wrong potion.

"Everyone calm down! I know this is so, so freaky but we need to find out who is who. Since apparently Nekasowa gave us a body swapping potion. I'll start, I'm Haruhi in Kaoru's body," I heard Kaoru try to make sense of what's happening.

"Well I'm Rossi and I guess I'm in Hikaru's body?" Hikaru stated unsurely.

"I'm Hikaru and I'm in Boss's body. I would've liked to be in Haruhi or Doggie's body, though," Tamaki spoke up.

"I bet you would," I muttered.

"Kaoru here and being in a girl's body is both fascinating and really weird," Haruhi stated.

"No way, you get to be Haruhi!" Tamaki (Hikaru) protested.

"Yep."

"Who's in my body?" Hikaru asked.

"I'm in your body Rossi Chan!" Rossi said excitedly.

"Thank god," Hikaru sighed.

"I'm Tamaki, and I'm in, what looks like, Mori Senpai's body," Mori spoke up, in an oddly more lively tone of voice to what we're used to.

"Ok, so who's in Honey Senpai's body?" Kaoru asked.

"Mori," Honey said simply, in an oddly toneless voice to what we're used to.

"Right, so that just leaves Kyoya and Tomuru right?" Mori commented.

"Well, I'm Tomuru, which means that she's somewhere in my body," I heard my own voice speak in a sensible tone.

"That's so weird," I shuddered.

"Yeah where is Sugar?" Kaoru wondered.

"I'm in here you guys!" I called from the changing area.

"Why are you in the changing area?" I heard Kaoru call back to me.

"To see what I looked like, it's really freaky," I replied.

"Wow, I never thought I would hear Kyoya Senpai use the word freaky," Tamaki said.

I looked to the side to see the others walking in, each one finding their own mirror to inspect themselves.

"So you're Kyoya sis?" Hikaru summed up.

"Apparently, where the heck did Nekasowa go?" I responded.

"Well, he wasn't at the clubroom when we woke up," Kaoru supplied.

"Probably ran off when he realised his mistake," I guessed.

"By the way, being a guy is really weird. It's like the weight from my chest is now in my trousers," I commented.

"I know what you mean it doesn't feel right," Kaoru agreed, inspecting himself in the mirror along with Hikaru.

"This is some freaky Friday nonsense, do you know what the worse thing about this is?" I said.

"That the guests could come in at any moment?" Kyoya in my body guessed.

"Crap I forgot all about that. No, it's that now I really need to go to the bathroom."

"Are you serious?" Tamaki laughed, along with Haruhi.

"Wow, that kinda hurts when you're not in your Tweed bodies," I commented.

"Well, you are just going to have to hold it in," Kyoya spoke firmly.

"But-"

"Hold. It. In," Kyoya sent a death glare to me, making my eyes glow red.

"Wow, I can be pretty badass when I wanna be," I commented.

Kaoru snorted, before chuckling along with Tamaki, Haruhi and Hikaru

"I don't mean to laugh. It's just hearing you speak in Kyoya's voice and body is amazing!" Kaoru laughed.

"Holy Macaroni you're right!" I agreed, making myself laugh. This made me laugh even more since I could hear it in Kyoya's voice.

"I've never seen Kyoya smile and laugh so much," Haruhi commented.

"It's kinda weird seeing him this cheerful though." Hikaru pointed out.

"I think's it's weirder to see Cupcake with an indifferent expression and Groot as Dad," I differed.

Kyoya sighed and walked out the changing room.

"Oi, where'd ya think you're going with my body?" I demanded, following after him.

"Putting up a sign to say that the Host club will be closed until further notice," He answered.

"Really? I wanted to see you do my errand girl duties," I whined.

"Please don't whine in my voice it's humiliating. I'd much rather lose a day's worth of profit than lose guests," Kyoya responded, placing the sign over the door handle.

"I don't like the way you're making me sound, it's too mature," I complained.

"Well I hate the way that you are acting in my body. It's abnormal and as I've said before humiliating. If the guests saw me acting that way my reputation would be tarnished," Kyoya retorted.

"Hate is a bit much don't ya think?" I replied, feeling oddly hurt that I gave myself a scolding.

"I just don't like situations where I'm not in control, plus it's a bit too much to see myself act so happy go lucky," Kyoya admitted.

"I think everyone's thoroughly weirded out by this situation. First things first, we need to settle down and get used to…this. I'll make some tea while you get everyone back in the clubroom," I suggested sensibly, smiling reassuringly down at myself.

"Now that sounds a little more like me."

I nodded before I headed to the kitchen. However, as soon as I entered I remembered something.

"Crap I still need the toilet!" I exclaimed, running straight through the clubroom.

"SorryshadowlordbutIreallycantholditin!" I rushed as I ran past the others, out the clubroom.

"Don't forget to use the boys bathroom, not girls," I heard Kaoru call after me, through the laughter.

**After I relieved myself…**

Well, that was one of the most stressful, gross experiences of my life. I have an odd respect for guys now.

_You saw it didn't you?_

_I had no choice Dearest! I had to aim it and touch it and it was so, so freaky!_

_Bet you secretly enjoyed it._

_Are you kidding? You try peeing as Kaoru it too stressful._

_Just come back to the clubroom so we can tease you._

_Meanie bean!_

Still disturbed by what I had to do, I headed back to the clubroom. Only to find a group of guests crowded at the clubroom door.

"Oh god here we go," I muttered.

One of the girls noticed me and stomped forward, looking pissed, with the rest of the irritated girls following behind.

"Kyoya Senpai, can you explain what's going on?"

"Yeah, why is the Host club closed?"

"There wasn't anything on the website!"

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

As they shouted at me I slowly edged my way through the crowd backwards towards the door.

"Ladies, I'm incredibly sorry for the sudden closure, we will make it up to you I promise," I told them as politely as I could.

"That still doesn't explain why the host club is closed!"

"YEAH!" The rest of the girls agreed.

"Let's just say that we are not feeling ourselves today," I supplied, quickly turning the handle and stepping inside.

I put my weight on the door to stop the pissed off girls from entering.

"Seriously, can someone barricade this door before I get mauled in Shadow Lord's body?" I exclaimed.

"I'll use my princely charm to sooth our upset lambs down," Mori suggested.

"Ok one you're Groot and two I don't think your princely charms are gonna calm these girls down," I pointed out.

"Oh," Mori sat back down.

"I'll help," Honey offered, picking up one of the sofas and walking towards me.

I quickly side stepped out the way, before Honey put the sofa down.

"Well that works, thanks, Groot," I thanked, to which Honey patted my head. Having to stretch on his tiptoes to do so.

"You did wash my hands right?" Kyoya asked as I sat down.

"Shadow lord, I washed your hands more thoroughly than I have ever done in my life," I answered honestly.

"Good."

"Will you two please stop doing your brotherly love act in our bodies please, it's really embarrassing," Kaoru complained.

"Oh god, I can see Ranka's reaction now," I said.

"Brother hold me, I feel so delicate in a girl's body." Haruhi pined; I didn't know whether to laugh or wretch.

"Don't worry Kaoru, I've got you." Tamaki responded, holding Haruhi in one of the Tweeds flirty poses.

"Oh my god you two!" Kaoru protested.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" Mori exclaimed in Tamaki's usual dramatics.

"Holy crap, Mori Senpai's terrifying when he's angry!" Tamaki stated fearfully, quickly letting go of Haruhi.

"Thank goodness that's over," Kaoru sighed in relief.

"Have you ever shouted like that Groot?" I asked, looking over to where he sat as Honey, watching over Rossi, who was stuffing his face with cake.

Hikaru was grimacing at his body as it kept stuffing cake in his mouth.

"Honey, you're kinda getting frosting in my hair," Hikaru noted, handing Rossi a napkin.

"Oops, sorry Rossi Chan," Rossi apologised taking the napkin.

"No, I haven't," Honey answered my question, before watching over Rossi again.

"Rossi's gonna get a stomach ache when he returns to his body," I predicted.

"Hm," Kyoya agreed vaguely, his laptop on my lap as he continued his work.

"Oi, get off my laptop!" I protested, smirking at him.

"I don't care if you are in my body, there is no way I will ever let you on my laptop," Kyoya stated firmly, glaring at me.

"You're very possessive, ya now that?"

"Yes, with good reason."

"Fine, I'm gonna go find Nekasowa and fix this mess. Ya coming, Dearest?"

"Sure Sugar." Haruhi agreed, standing beside me with a big grin on her face

"No Tweedledee, only Dearest can call me that," I scorned, grabbing Kaoru's arm and heading out the clubroom.

Luckily the crowd of angry girls were gone when we stepped out of the clubroom.

"So, where exactly is the Black Magic club?" I asked.

"Honestly? No idea," Kaoru answered.

"Dude, you know this place more than I do."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know where Nekasowa Senpai's club is," Kaoru argued.

"Well, then we'll just have to find it."

As we searched I decided to take advantage of this rare opportunity.

"Right what do you want me to say next?" I asked excitedly.

"Do an impression of…I dunno a cat. I can see Kyoya as a cat if he was an animal."

"Kay, let me get into character," I got on all fours and crawled beside Kaoru, as he was in fits of laughter.

"Mmmeeeeoooow!" I meowed, rubbing against Kaoru's leg.

"Ok stop or I'll need a piss and I do not want to experience that," Kaoru laughed.

"Fine, what shall I do next?" I asked eagerly, standing back up.

"How about not treating my body as a toy?" I heard my own passive aggressive voice behind me.

"How long have you been behind us?" I asked nervously, not wanting to look behind me.

"Oh, just a few minutes after you left the clubroom, I figured you may get lost."

"That sounds ironic coming from my voice," I noticed.

"Yes is suppose it does, by the way…" Kyoya stepped towards and made my eyes go red again.

"Don't ever pull that nonsense again understand?" He growled.

"Tsk alright," I reluctantly agreed.

"Thank you, now the Black Magic club is this way," We followed my body through the hallway until we reached a pair of black double doors with two skull candles lit up on either side.

"Guess we've found the knitters club," I commented.

Kyoya knocked on the door. After a minute, a black haired girl that reminded me of Wednesday Addams opened the door to us.

"How can the Black Magic Club be of service to you?" she greeted in a soft spoken tone.

"We would like to have a talk with Nekasowa and get the antidote to this potion he gave us." I explained.

"I see, you are part of the Host Club. Our president is busy at the moment, searching for that which you seek," The girl replied.

"And has he found it yet?" Kaoru asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not."

"Great, just peachy!" I huffed.

"If he unable to find it, we can create more to return you to your original bodies," The girl explained.

"How long would that take?" Kyoya asked.

"It depends on the potion. At an estimate I'd say one or two days," The girl estimated.

"No way am I staying in Kyoya's body for that long!" I protested.

"The only alternative is to wait for the president to find the potion. I must go and help look for it now, goodbye," The girl shut the door in our faces.

"Well, isn't that just great," I exclaimed, annoyed by the current situation.

"C'mon let's just head back to the clubroom," Kaoru sighed.

So here we are, sitting in the clubroom waiting for Nekasowa to get his act together. The Tweeds started performing their brotherly love act again due to boredom, annoying Haruhi and Tamaki. Honey was still eating cake, making a mess of Rossi's school uniform, with Rossi and Mori watching over him. I was sitting upside down, despite Kyoya's glares, bored and wanting to go home.

_So this is what it feels like to be a privileged rich boy with a pale complexion. _

"Found it!" Nekasowa declared, bursting into the clubroom.

"Ya definitely sure it's the right potion?" I asked skeptically.

"I'm sure," Nekasowa confirmed.

"Oh thank god," Kaoru stated in relief, as everyone crowded around the potion.

"Now with this one, you must face the person in your body and maintain eye contact," Nekasowa instructed.

Everyone got into pairs or in some cases threes.

"I shall feed the potion one by one," Nekasowa continued, starting with Kaoru and Haruhi.

All eyes were on them, as they took the potion. As soon as they did, they fell to the floor.

"Are they ok?" I asked in concern.

"This is part of the process, they will return to their original bodies around…now," Nekasowa supplied.

At that moment, Dearest and Kaoru bolted up awake.

"Did it work?" Mori asked hopefully.

"I'm back!" Kaoru cheered.

"Let's never do that again," Haruhi moaned.

"It works, now let's save the celebrations until we're back in our own skins," I stated, eagerly wanting to get out of Shadow Lord's body asap.

I watched everyone take a sip of the potion, with a couple people needing two sips to return to their bodies. At last, it was my turn.

"Ready?" Nekasowa asked.

"Yep," I confirmed, maintaining eye contact with Kyoya as instructed.

"Yes, the sooner I'm back the better," Kyoya answered.

Nekasowa held out a spoon with pink liquid out to me, which I eagerly took a sip from. Once Kyoya took a sip of the potion, I instantly lost consciousness.

Once I woke up I saw Dearest, Rossi and the Tweeds looking down at me.

"That you Sugar?" Haruhi asked.

"Uh…I think so?" I answered, standing up.

I looked at my hands to find they were back to their beautiful brown colour.

"I'M BACK!" I cheered gleefully, hugging myself as I bounced up and down.

"I'm glad that whole fiasco is over," I heard Kyoya sigh in relief.

"Oh body I have missed you so!" I exclaimed dramatically.

"Right now that's over I think it's time we went home, I'm exhausted," Haruhi suggested.

"I couldn't agree more, dearest. I think it's safe to say that I will not be drinking potions ever again," I stated, to which the others wholeheartedly agreed.

* * *

**Me: Muhahaha that's what you think! **

**By the way in case any of you lovelies were confused here's the list of who swapped with who:**

**Tomuru= Kyoya**

**Kyoya= Tomuru**

**Haruhi= Kaoru **

**Tamaki= Hikaru**

**Hikaru= Rossi**

**Kaoru= Haruhi **

**Honey =Mori **

**Mori= Tamaki**

**Rossi= Honey**

**If that helps at all?**

**Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who gave their ideas, I loved them all!**

**Tomuru: Plus a big thank you and hugs to readers both old and new that keep reading this fanfic. **

**Me: I know all of your support was a big help for me I love ya all.**

**Until next time lovelies X**


	38. A Brief Announcement

**Me:...Yeah I can explain.**

**With starting a University Course (still sounds daunting) I have been unable to publish as much as I like to. Something that I'm sure you lovelies already know about me already.**

**Further news I'm currently publishing Haruhi's Best Friend onto a website called INKITT for a fanfiction competition that a lovely reader known as **aandark** informed me about. If you want to check it out the link is below:**

** fandom**

**Plus if you guys also want to take part you can go to and upload your stories, though do bear in mind that it ends by the 21st October.**

**SOOOOO Sorry about this lovelies I will upload when I'm able so hang tight kay?**

**Love ya as always**

**XXXX**

**I'mAtTheSoupStore18**


	39. Episode 13 Part 1

**Tomuru: Wait, what's happening. Are you, are you posting another chapter? My god it's a MIRACLE!**

**Me: Yes I know it's been too long!**

**Tomuru: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I missed you, I missed the lovelies, I missed THIS!**

**Me: I know so have I! University courses are an _'ahem'_ female Boris and so's life I hate it!**

**Tomuru: Do we even have any readers left?**

**Me: Haven't the foggiest idea, if so I salute their patience.**

**Tomuru: Alrighty let's give 'em what they want, I think they've waited long enough.**

**Me: They sure have, ok lovelies here's Tomuru in Wonderland. FYI if you see bold text that's my narration, the rest is all Tomuru. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ladies and guests welcome to the Host club rendition of Alice in Wonderland. Please turn off your phones beforehand and enjoy the show.

**The curtain rises and a spotlight shines on Tomuru, seated in a rocking chair with a large book in her hands. **

Good evening I will be narrating this tale for your enjoyment. First let me introduce you to our main protagonist, Alice.

**On centre, stage stood Haruhi in Alice cosplay. Complete with stripy tights and a large blue bow tied in her hair.**

"Why couldn't Rossi be Alice?" Haruhi demanded, pulling her dress down uncomfortably.

Don't break character! And Rossi will be a different character.

Now then Alice was in the forest that was beside her house.

**Suddenly the scene changed, where Haruhi was transported into a forest. Tomuru appeared beside her, still seated in her narrator chair.**

Alice had her usual stroll through the trees before her mother called her in for dinner. This stroll, in particular, led her deeper into the forest than usual, a peculiar sight making her halt in her tracks.

**Usa-Chan hopped from behind one of the trees, moving on his own.**

"Is that toy rabbit moving on its own?" Alice wondered as she watched the rabbit eat a random banana.

The pink rabbit noticed Alice and quickly hopped off as fast as one can on feetless legs.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Alice called after it, curiosity making her legs run to catch up with the bunny.

Just managing to catch a glimpse of the rabbit as it jumped into a large burrow beside a drooping willow tree. Leaning over the hole, Alice was determining how deep the hole went.

"Right, that is a health hazard, anyone could fall in there," Alice decided.

However as she turned to head home, she slipped on a random banana peel. Which made Alice fall backwards into the hole.

"No."

Dearest c'mon stick to the script.

"I'm not doing it! I could break my back, or legs or anything!" Haruhi firmly objected.

Fine, I'll just send in your stunt double. Just stay out of sight, RIN LI!

**Haruhi's stunt double appeared from stage left.**

"Who the hell is this?" Haruhi demanded, gesturing to the bustier, taller girl wearing a Haruhi style wig and matching costume. Except with longer heels.

Your stunt double.

"She looks nothing like me?!"

That's not true, her eyes are similar.

"Whatever," Haruhi huffed and walked off stage.

Sorry about that lovelies, now on with the story.

"Oh no, I slipped," stunt double Alice spoke dramatically. Before she fell, specifically flipped into the hole.

Alice fell for what felt like an eternity until she finally landed with a soft thud. Or in this case, landing gracefully like a gymnast.

"Where am I?" Alice wondered.

Hold on Alice swap!

The stunt double tottered away as Dearest returned on stage.

"Oh, where am I?" Alice droned sardonically.

Alice appeared to be in a windowless, doorless checkerboard room at first glance. The only thing in it being a table with a tiny key on top.

"Well, this key must open something right?" Alice reasoned, picking up the key from the table.

She searched all around the room, feeling the walls, in the soft lamplight, for any keyholes. When she couldn't find any she sank down to the floor in defeat.

"Well, I guess I'm stuck here forever then," Alice groaned.

At that moment she felt a small breeze on her hand. Looking down, she found a tiny door the size of her hand beside her.

"I guess that's where the key fits but how do I get out?" Alice wondered.

Looking back at the table, she found a piece of fancy tuna with 'eat me' written in red sauce and a small bottle of liquid labelled 'drink me'.

"Right, they're definitely filled with sleeping pills," Haruhi decided.

Just eat the darn tuna!

"If this kills me my ghost will sue."

Alice reluctantly took a small bite of the tuna. As soon as she swallowed, she increased dramatically in height. Ceasing when her head hit the ceiling.

"Ow, what the hell? Don't tell me this is the result of Nekasowa's potions again!" Haruhi exclaimed.

Mmmaaayyybee.

"Tomuru!"

Haruhi! See I can use that tone of voice too.

"How do I change back?" Haruhi demanded.

Why not take a swig from that bottle?

"Oh good grief here we go," Haruhi grumbled, before leaning down and taking the bottle with her thumb and forefinger.

Once she took a tentative sip, Alice began to shrink.

"Thank god for that," Haruhi said in relief, as she shrunk to her normal height.

That relief didn't last as she found herself shrinking further until she was the size of the second to last Russian nesting doll.

That's oddly specific.

"SUGAR, WHAT THE HELL?" Haruhi exclaimed.

Hey, look at that you can fit through that door now.

"Wow, how convenient," Haruhi stated snarkily.

Key in hand, Alice unlocked the door and stepped through.

As she walked through, she was blinded by starlight. Hearing the door shut behind her.

"Great, it's locked," Alice grumbled, trying to open the door again.

From the corner of her eye, she spotted the pink rabbit again. This time, the rabbit was eating bananas with a monkey boy wearing an Elementary school uniform.

"Hey, can one of you tell me where the hell I am?" Alice called out to them, walking towards them.

However, when they heard and saw her, they quickly ran away in a panic.

"Oi, come back," Alice pursued them, trying to keep them in her vision.

"You know I don't like running Sugar," Haruhi complained, with Tomuru flying on her chair.

Alice did not know a 'Sugar' so for her to say that is most peculiar.

Alice was glaring at the narrator, again breaking the already abused fourth wall.

Alice ran through a forest, starting to resemble a jungle, keeping her eyes focused on the pink bunny.

She was so focused, she didn't realise that she will be running straight over a cliff.

"Wait…what?!"

Suddenly, she couldn't stop herself from falling over the edge.

"Couldn't have you said something sooner?" Haruhi exclaimed, falling rapidly with Tomuru in her flying chair.

"If this kills me I'm going to haunt you to high hell!" Haruhi shouted, the bow in her hair flying out.

I'm not gonna kill off the protagonist that quickly! I'm not George R.R. Martin.

Before reaching the ground, a paw grabbed onto one of Alice's outstretched arms and pulled her into an open cavern.

"OW, those claws are sharp!" Alice groaned, rubbing her arm that now had scratch marks on them.

"Sorry, just saving your life, you're welcome," the voice of her saviour spoke sarcastically.

"Wait…Rossi?"

"Yep!"

Ahem!

"I mean nope! Whose Rossi, I'm the Cheshire cat."

Alice shakily stood up, looking down at the anthropomorphic cat. Donning a black and purple striped dress and checker boots of similar colour. Rossi's cat form consisted of brown fur, larger than average luminous blue cat eyes, striped black tail, and ears.

"Right, let's go," Cheshire cat said, taking Alice's hand by his paw and guiding her into the cavern. Relying on Chess's eyes to see through the tunnel, as that was the only light source around.

"Uh, where am I exactly?" Alice asked the cat that dragged her along.

"In a shortcut," Chess replied simply.

"To where?"

"To the tea party, of course, you're terribly late ya know," Chess replied matter of factly.

"Tea party?" Alice queried

"Uh Huh!"

Ow!

"What happened?" Haruhi asked

Hit my head on a stalactite!

"Well fly lower then," Haruhi spoke apathetically.

"Yeah, or you could just walk like the rest of us," Rossi suggested.

No, I'm the NARRATOR and the NARRATOR sits in the NARRATOR CHAIR when NARRATING the NARRATION!

"There's no need to stress Sugar we get it," Haruhi noted.

Oh look, you're reaching the end of the tunnel, so we can carry on with the plot, can't we?

"I think I hear some passive aggression bouncing off the walls, what do you think Chess?" Haruhi pointed out.

"Yes I agree, Alice," Rossi responded.

Alice and Chess saw the light of the outside world. Once they reached the end of the tunnel, they found that a tea party was taking place.

Seated at the head of the table was the Mad hatter, stopping mid-sip at the presence of the new arrivals.

"Ah, Alice has arrived!" The Hatter spoke cheerfully, making the new guests known to the others at the table.

"Finally!" To the left of the hatter sat Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

"Just in time for more cake," The Honey Bunny chirped, digging into some carrot cake appropriately. Seated to the right of the Hatter.

"Wait a minute!"

Oh, here we go, what now Dearest?

"Right I get all the other characters, kind of, but why the hell is Mori Senpai a baby?"

**As Haruhi said, Mori was now a baby, seated in a high chair beside Honey Bunny.**

Tis cute and funny, and may or may not have some artistic influence on the manga.

"Ok now you're actually breaking the real fourth wall Sugar,"

Wow, that's like…16 walls. On with the story! Alice took the seat at the opposite end of the table facing the Hatter whilst Cheshire sat next to baby Mori.

"Can any of you tell me where I am?" Alice asked, for the 3rd time, as she sat down.

"Why, you're here!" The Tweeds answered

"Not over there." Tweedledum pointed far to his left.

"Or over there." Tweedledee pointed far to his right.

"Where else would you be but here?" The Tweeds finished, only confusing and annoying Alice further.

"What the…no I meant this place, this world I guess. Because one-minute I was home, walking in the woods, and the next I was here," Alice explained.

"It must be nice that home of yours," The blond Hatter said.

"Uh, yeah it's alright. Wait answer my-"

"With a loving mother and father no doubt," Hatter interjected.

"Well yeah, they're the best," Alice responded.

"Tell us about them," Honey bunny insisted.

"Just tell me where I am first!" Alice snapped.

"Our world is called Wonderland if that helps," Cheshire cat answered.

"I guess that's all the information I'm gonna get. Fine, well my dad is quite protective, caring and chatty. Who enjoys shopping, especially for dresses," Alice divulged.

"That sounds similar to our Red queen," Cheshire realised.

"What about-"

"Your mom?" The Tweeds spoke in turn.

"My mom? She's very smart, in fact, she's a lawyer. Plus she's a great cook and…and cares for me a lot," Alice spoke fondly, suddenly finding herself wistful.

"I'm sure she does," Hatter spoke with sparkling eyes.

"So, down to business. We need your help, Alice," Hatter spoke seriously.

"Uh, what with?" Alice asked.

"Our beloved Red queen has been overthrown by the evil Shadow Queen," Hatter explained dramatically.

"And?" Alice deadpanned.

"And we need you to help to defeat her,"

"No thanks," Alice turned down.

"If you do this the Red queen will reward you," Honey tempted.

"Can she return me home?" Alice asked hopefully

"Of course! Whatever your sweet heart desires!" Hatter answered.

"…Ok, I don't know what you expect me to do but fine. How exactly do we defeat this 'evil' shadow queen?" Alice agreed.

"The Shadow queen's power is held in her glasses. Destroy them and she is powerless," Hatter explained.

"Wow, how convenient," Alice remarked.

Tis isn't it, but first Alice and co must go to the red queen to retrieve the Vorpal sword.

"The Vorpal sword?"

"The only sword that is strong enough to break the glasses," The Tweeds answered.

"Oh, I see."

Yeah, so Alice and Co finished their tea and cake, then set out to the red queen's home.

"How come Doggy gets to sit in the flying chair?" Tweedledum demanded.

"Yeah, we want a turn!" Tweedledee added.

For all the fluff in Fluffworld, I've been over this! It's cus I'M the narrator!

"No fair, we want a chair,"

"That flies in the air!"

Stop rhyming and demanding the narrator sits in the narrator chair!

"Then we'll be the narrators then,"

"No, you already have a role in the story," The Hatter spoke up firmly.

Thank you, Tamaki!

Alright before anyone breaks the fourth wall AGAIN we'll have an intermission. So you lovely lot can go get some snacks or go pee or something.

* * *

**Me: Ok lovelies hope you liked it, I'll attempt to post the next two chapters this week. I know my timetable for next year's course so hopefully, I can work around it. **

**Tomuru: TOMURU S TIDBITS! Man , it's been a while since I shouted that.**

**Me: Yep and today I'm going to explain the changes I made to the characters. **

**I've only made changes to the names to make it more African as per their Egyptian roots. So here are the changes:**

**Marco, Tomuru's brother: Marcel, meaning 'Pledged to Mars' which makes Tomuru's nickname for him have more meaning.**

**Yuki, Tomuru's sister: Yuliana which means 'Soft haired' **

**Sanka, Tomuru's old surname: Okiro, since it's a common African surname**

**Aviva, Tomuru's Motherlord- Aziza, meaning precious and beloved**


	40. Episode 13 Part 2

Welcome back, did you have a good pee? Yeah? Great then let's get back to the show!

When we last left our protagonists they were starting the journey to the Red queen's quarters.

"Sooo, how far is the Red queen's place exactly?" Alice asked.

"The Red queen lives not too far from here, just up this path," Chess answered, floating lazily beside her.

The Mori baby was asleep in a baby throw cradled on Alice's back.

"How come I got put in charge of the baby?" Alice demanded.

"Maternal instinct dear Alice," The Hatter simply put.

"That's just a way of saying that the girl's role is looking after the baby and be a good little house wife," Alice argued.

Just then our brave company had to halt in their tracks as the giant Borisnatch got in the way!

"It's just a giant Boris," Cheshire cat deadpanned, everyone looking up at the softly snoring giant towel.

Yes, a terrifying beast who's under the evil Shadow Queen's control!

"Yeah, truly terrifying," Alice remarked, as the Borisnatch made cute sleepy boofs in his sleep.

Unspeakable horror! What will our brave protagonists do?

"Just walk around him," The Tweeds shrugged, as they began to walk confidently.

Tread carefully, for if the mighty beast wakes, he may squash you. For he is very big and very blind!

Just then, the Borisnatch woke up, snuffling his nose as he recognised the smell of friends come to fuss him. Uh oh, what an unfortunate circumstance!

"Guys I think we should run!" Alice suggested urgently, as the massive creature came bounding towards them excitedly.

The others happily agreed, already running away from the Borisnatch. Whilst the large monster ambled after them like it was a game, on needing to walk to catch up with them.

"Look, in the distance!" Hunny bunny was the first to spot the residence of the Red queen.

The company managed to cram themselves through the door before the creature could slobber all over them. Shutting the door on the poor baby's nose.

"Phew that was close, we would have had to pause mid show for a costume change if that Borisnatch drooled on us," The Hatter expressed in relief, the others agreeing.

"Though some of us don't need a huge dog to look like they went in a shower," The Tweeds pointed out Alice, sweating from running so much and still carrying a baby Groot.

"Hey not all of us are good at sports," Alice defended, as she passed the care of Mori to Hunny bunny.

"Oi, shouldn't the narrator be narrating inside the apartment?" Tweedledum remarked.

Yes, she should. However, my chair can't fit through the door and there's a huge wrinkly towel demanding my attention. Looks like Boris can't refrain from breaking the fourth wall either. So for now. I'll just narrate from outside, looking through the window.

"Or you could just get off your chair?" Cheshire cat suggested.

…How dare you.

"There's no need to take offense-" Alice spoke up.

HOW DARE YOU!

"Be like that then, just do you your job," Alice sighed.

Just then the Red queen swanned into the room. Literally, she rode in from her quarters on a horse sized swan that can apparently fir in this space.

"Oh my, what good looking subjects to have come to my abode!" The red queen turns to Alice, "And one very cute girl, you must be Alice!" She gushed, unable to stop herself from dismounting her swan and cuddling Alice.

"How did you know?" Alice asked, unperturbed by the queen's affections.

"I received word of you coming to me. Finally, someone competent is here to stop the evil Shadow queen, unlike some hatted morons." The insult targeted at the Hatter, who crumbled at the queen's glare.

"Well said, your highness!" The Tweeds praised, as Hunny bunny and Chess rebuilt the Hatter.

Baby Mori crawled up to Alice and tugged on her dress, wanting her attention since Hunny was preoccupied.

"Oh my, such a young baby shouldn't be on such a dangerous quest. Wait there, I have something that will help. Why don't you all take a seat whilst you wait." The Red queen gestured to a kotatsu at the center of the room and walked out the room.

Her swan wandered off as soon as the joke was made earlier. Understanding its role of being a minor gag character perfectly.

Everyone sat around the kotatsu waiting for the queen to return. The Tweeds taking to sandwiching Alice between them, much to the Hatter's annoyance.

"No fair, I want to sit beside Alice!" Hatter grievances childishly, fully formed once more.

"Too bad!" The Tweeds stuck out their tongues towards him.

"Anyway, I just realised something," The Hatter remained where he stood.

"That's a first," Tweedledum snarked, which Hatter brushed off quickly.

"It's is unbefitting for such a sweet young lady to be wielding swords and fighting an evil magical queen!" the Hatter voiced his concerns dramatically.

"It doesn't really suite Haruhi's character, maybe Tomuru should be Alice," Chess spoke up.

Fourth wall…oh, forget it, that wall crumbled in down in the previous chapter.

"No! I shall protect the precious maiden; my male pride demands it!" Hatter proclaimed.

"No way, if anyone's going to defeat the evil queen it's us!" The Tweeds argued back, thus the contest began.

"Great, so can I just go?" Alice asked.

"No, we need you for morale," Hatter denied, the Tweeds nodding in agreement.

"…Darn."

Just then, the Red queen returned, accompanied by three of her servants: the royal designer Marcel, the royal guard Yuliana and the royal advisor Aziza.

The Red Queen Ranka carried a plate with a single cookie on it.

"Here, this is for the baby." Red queen knelt down and handed the cookie to baby Mori, seated on Alice's lap.

Baby Mori quickly grabbed the cookie and scoffed it.

"How does that help?" Chess asked in confusion.

"Just watch."

At that moment baby Mori began to glow, then starting growing bigger. Ripping out of his onesie, aging until he was back to his original size.

However, he was still on Alice's lap and was now naked.

In a panicked rush, the Tweeds pushed Mori into the nearest room and changed him into some fitting clothes, donated by Marcel. With a fully clothed Groot, they return they sit around the kotatsu once more.

"Right, now that's sorted, would you please stand for me Alice?" The queen requested, to which Alice got up and stood in front of her.

"Now, I present to you the Vorpul sword, a weapon strong enough to surpass the Shadow queens power and break her glasses." Red queen gestures to Yuliana, who present the sheathed sword towards Alice.

"Uh, ok." Before Alice could take hold of it, the Hatter and tweeds step in front of her.

"We'll take that weapon of your hands. After all, it's far too heavy for this heroine to carry," The Hatter offered, the Tweeds agreeing with him in the background.

In response, the red queen kicks the Hatter out of the way, into a far wall. Whilst Aviva and Yuliana grab a Tweed each by the ear and drag them back to the kotatsu.

"Sit down before you hurt yourselves," The advisor and guard warned.

"That's my Mum and sister for you," Rossi couldn't help but laugh.

"Now take the sword, Alice, believe me, you're the only one sensible enough to wield it," Yuliana insisted.

"Sure, though I don't know how to use it," Alice voiced her doubts.

"Don't worry I'll show you," the Royal Guard offered.

"You also have some lightweight armour to protect yourself, hand crafted by your truly," Marcel presented the armour to Alice.

"Thanks."

"Now shall we get started with the training?" Yuliana asked.

"Yeah…is it going to be very physical?"

"I'm afraid so H."

"…Dang."

So whilst Alice was off training, wearing her swanky armour, the others had tea and cake. Aside from the Hatter, who was still recovering.

"So when the Shadow queen is defeated, will you return to take the throne?" Hunny bunny asked through a mouthful of cake.

"Oh no, I've come to realise that my spending habits aren't the best traits to have when ruling a kingdom. My trusted advisor will take my place instead," The red queen explained.

"Really? So what will the new queen be addressed as?" Chess asked.

"Queen Aziza will be fine. I don't have a favourite colour to go by," Aziza…ok calling your parent by their first name is weird I'm going back to Motherlord. Anyway Motherlord said, before taking a sip of rose tea.

One training montage and yet another tea party later…

"Well I wish you all good luck with defeating the Shadow lord. I'm sure you'll fight valiantly." The Red queen spoke her goodbyes, with Yuliana, Marcel and Motherlord speaking similar farewells.

"Sooo how do we get there?" Alice asked, to which the Borisnatch woke up from his nap and boofed happily. Gesturing to climb on his back.

"Well he does belong to the Shadow queen so he should know the way," Tweedledee reasoned.

"Though it's not the best idea for a blind dog to lead the way," Chess pointed out.

Still the gang climbed aboard the huge creature, the wrinkles keeping each of them secure.

And so they carried onwards to the Shadow queen's castle. What perils will our brave protagonists face once they arrive?

Apparently not many as they were greeted by an open gate and two of the Shadow queen's guards.

"Huh?" Alice voiced what everyone else was thinking.

"Her majesty has been expecting you, if you would please come this way," The bald guard greeted, beckoning them inside.

"Could this be a trap?" the Hatter queried.

"Probably, but we need to face the Shadow queen regardless," Alice answered.

So the gang dismounted off Boris and followed after the guards. Soon they entered an extravagant hall, at the far end a throne on which the evil Shadow queen sat.

"Well…that was easier than I thought," Cheshire commented.

"Yeah I agree," Alice agreed.

"Evil Shadow queen, I shall be the one the vanquish your vicious reign once and for all!" The Hatter stepped forward and dramatically exclaimed, pointing purposefully at the unperturbed queen.

"No way, it will be us who will defeat you, before taking Alice's hand in marriage!" The Tweeds objected.

"Uh…no thanks," Alice put down.

"If you think you could defeat me than you are more foolish than I thought. I only invited you all here so I wouldn't have to waste precious resources fixing any property damage that you would no doubt cause. That and I didn't want to use my army for such a pointless matter. Before you start declaring war I would like to explain our kingdoms current state of affairs," The Shadow queen spoke matter of factly.

"Uh, ok?" Alice allowed unsurely.

"Thanks to that redhead you adore so much our land is going through a recession, so cutting costs wherever possible is paramount. Even if that mains taking extreme measures," Shadow queen began to explain.

"Even if that means beheading your subjects?" Hatter demanded.

"Yes, speaking of which that dog can be disposed of, he's far to unreliable plus money will be saved by not having to feed him the vast amount required for a creature that size," Shadow queen ordered her guards, a truly despicable antagonist indeed.

"Before that though, we shall deal with these fools." Shadow queen turns towards Alice, "You are not from our world so I will grant you mercy. I can return you to where you've come from if you hand over the Vorpul sword to me," Shadow queen offered.

Alice thought about it for a few seconds.

"Sorry but I'll have to decline, I want to go home but I can't just walk away whilst you're killing innocent people and dogs," Alice declined, unsheathing the sword and pointing it towards the Shadow queen. Getting cheers from her friends around her.

"On your head be it then," Shadow queen turned to her guards, "Retrieve that sword and seize them!" She commanded.

"Yes your majesty!"

However, before they could get close…uh a sudden force pinned them against the wall?

"Tomuru you didn't mention this in the story," Kyoya accused.

That's because it's not!

Suddenly everyone apart from Haruhi and I got pinned to the wall, which caused Kyoya's glasses to fall off his face. Then my book and chair poofed out of existence.

"What's going on Sugar?" Haruhi asked in confusion.

I have no idea; this isn't in the story! How come I'm wearing Alice cosplay now?

"Look outside!" Rossi, who's now a human again, pointed out that there was now a purple force field surrounding the castle. Which meant Boris couldn't get in.

Tomuru began to worry, no one had any clue what's happening.

"Wait, how come I'm not narrating anymore?" Tomuru demanded.

"You are not in control of this story anymore Tomuru." A voice spoke out from the far side out of the room, before a creature stepped from the shadows. A white reptilian creature, large enough to tower over them its head almost reaching the high ceiling. A black, tar-like substance dripping from its mouth with brown human looking eyes.

"That voice…" Haruhi muttered

"Those eyes," Tomuru growled, both of the girls realising who this creature is meant to be.

Tomuru turned to Rossi, whose eyes were large with terror, able to tremble whilst in the paralysed state.

"Tomuru who is this creature meant to be?" Kyoya asked, though he's smart enough to have the correct assumption.

The creature crawled towards them, to which Tomuru held a protective arm in front of her dearest and clumsily stepped backwards until they bumped into the wall.

"I see you're still hanging around that daughter of that tranny, how disappointing." It spoke as it carried on walking.

"Shut it," Tomuru warned quietly.

"And you're still wearing those fucking dresses, it's that tranny's fault, that he-she got to you." It turned to speak to Rossi, who flinched when it swore.

"I said shut it," Her voice got progressively louder.

"You do not speak to me with such disrespect." The creature turned back to Tomuru and Haruhi.

"She said SHUT IT!"

"HARUHI NO!" Tomuru tried to hold her back, but Haruhi charged fiercely with the Vorpul sword in hand towards the monster.

"Stupid girl." The creature batted Haruhi away, causing her to get flung to the side falling roughly.

"Dearest!" Tomuru attempted to go over to her fallen friend, but it blocked her path.

Those stuck on the wall shouted angrily, struggling for release.

"That's enough out of your noisy rabble." Suddenly the hosts got frozen in place, their mouths locked shut only able to blink.

"That boy asked you a question Tomuru, it's rude not to answer him," The creatures head was mere inches from Tomuru, so much she could see its eyes twinkle in humoured torment, "Who am I to you?"

Tomuru looked straight into the beast's eyes, with fierce unyielding intent.

"The prickliest pear of them all, Osamu Sanka my father."

* * *

**Me: Dun, dun, duuuun! Dramatic ending alert!**

**So I've got a lot of stuff to do over Christmas but I really wanted to finish Episode 13 cus it was bugging me. Though I feel like i rushed this chapter, i might improve it on a later date**

**Anyways, hope you have a good Christmas my lovelies! xxx**


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